Chapter 409: Madara Isn't Human
At this point, the masked man would rather believe that the White Zetsu in front of him had lost its mind than believe anything it was saying.
Come to think of it… did White Zetsu even have a mind?
Probably not.
"Obito, you don't believe me? Everything I said is true! I even have photos as proof!"
Seeing that Obito didn't believe him, White Zetsu anxiously started rummaging inside his own body.
As a plant-like being, aside from not being immortal, White Zetsu's body was quite similar to an Impure World Reincarnation body, just a shell on the outside, with a uniform interior.
So storing photos inside his body was far more reasonable than Orochimaru stuffing things into his mouth.
At least White Zetsu didn't have to worry about whether what he stored would get soaked. Every scroll Orochimaru pulled out used to be covered in saliva.
Fortunately, Orochimaru seemed to have become more hygienic lately and hadn't done that in a long time.
"Don't call me that name. Call me Madara."
The masked man had just finished his curry rice while listening to White Zetsu's absurd story. Now, he put his mask back on.
Through the mask, his Sharingan revealed a cold, emotionless gaze.
But that coldness only lasted a few seconds before being shattered by White Zetsu's next question.
White Zetsu froze in shock, "Obito… you've also fallen for Granny Chiyo?"
"Cough, what did you just say?!"
The masked man nearly choked to death on that sentence.
Before White Zetsu could explain, the masked man himself realized the problem with what he had just said.
White Zetsu had just finished telling the tragic love story between Madara and Granny Chiyo, and the very next moment he said, "Call me Madara."
That really was bound to cause a misunderstanding.
"…Forget it. Let me see the photos."
The masked man took the so-called evidence from White Zetsu's hands.
In the photos, the Impure World Reincarnation Uchiha Madara and Granny Chiyo, one "old" (Madara) and one "young" (Chiyo), appeared together in various locations around the Sunagakure Village.
In the corners of the photos, there was also a miserable-looking Hashirama.
Not only was he paying for everything, he was also acting as a bag carrier.
"This is the First Hokage? Why is he following Madara around… actually, never mind. Don't explain."
The masked man instinctively asked, but then suddenly remembered that the story White Zetsu had told involved a love triangle, so he quickly cut himself off.
At the same time, something else came to mind, information he had received just a few days ago.
Another White Zetsu had brought it to him.
The story had been just as ridiculous, but the information inside was extremely important.
Uchiha Sasuke had awakened the Rinnegan.
It seemed he had found some kind of shortcut to evolving the Sharingan, and his progress was incredibly fast.
The masked man had been thinking that if Nagato refused to cooperate, Sasuke's Rinnegan could serve as a replacement.
And now it seemed that Orochimaru was reviving more and more powerful shinobi with Impure World Reincarnation.
The First Hokage had appeared. Uchiha Madara had appeared.
If he wanted to become the Ten-Tails' jinchūriki himself, he had to act before Madara did.
Nagato's defenses were too strong, so he had to focus on Sasuke instead.
Even though the information White Zetsu brought this time was absurd, the photos were real.
"If it's real, then so be it. If it's real, that's actually good for me…"
After looking at the photos, the masked man tossed them aside.
But halfway through his sentence, he stopped.
Even though White Zetsu had provided crucial information, it was impossible to determine whether it was loyal to him or to Madara.
As for Black Zetsu, that was certain, it was absolutely loyal to Madara, since it was essentially the embodiment of his will.
But White Zetsu… with its lack of a brain, even after all this time, the masked man still couldn't be sure.
"Obito, you know me. Madara only cares about his 'bonds' with Hashirama, and now he's even chasing after someone a whole generation younger, Granny Chiyo."
"Only you, Obito, are a pure heterosexual, and you even let me enjoy my favorite 'stuff.'"
"Compared to Madara, I like you more~"
White Zetsu openly expressed its feelings.
Hearing this heartfelt confession, the masked man's expression beneath the mask turned grim.
White Zetsu's words brought back some unpleasant memories.
How many times had Kakashi messed with him before?
There was one incident in particular that was the worst. Konoha's sewage pit had exploded, and Kakashi had used Kamui to transfer it into his dimension, blowing up the masked man while he was eating curry rice.
After he finally dealt with everything outside and returned, he found White Zetsu happily swimming in it.
Now that he had just finished eating curry rice, White Zetsu reminding him of that scene made him feel nauseous.
"…Alright, White Zetsu. I believe you."
After thinking it over, the masked man decided to trust this White Zetsu.
Otherwise, doing everything himself would be far too troublesome.
"White Zetsu, while Madara is busy pursuing Granny Chiyo, I'm going to seize Sasuke's Rinnegan, then collect the tailed beasts. Before he realizes what's happening, I'll gather as many as possible and activate the Infinite Tsukuyomi."
The masked man laid out his plan, "White Zetsu, I need you to keep an eye on Madara as soon as possible. If you can, without exposing any information, have the other White Zetsu gather intel as well…"
"That won't work, Obito~!"
White Zetsu suddenly wailed, cutting him off.
"Why not?"
The masked man frowned.
White Zetsu was actually trying to stop him?
Sasuke's Rinnegan was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Could it be that White Zetsu was still loyal to Madara?
"Obito, Madara… that guy isn't human. He's a complete monster!"
White Zetsu suddenly burst into tears.
It didn't even address him as "Madara-sama" anymore, it was outright cursing him.
"What happened?"
The masked man was puzzled.
The fact that Madara wasn't exactly "normal" didn't need repeating.
The fact that he could be interested in Granny Chiyo was already disturbing enough.
He somehow managed to combine both "liking old women" and "liking little girls" at the same time.
"Obito, actually… you don't know this, but your teammate Kakashi… he also admires Granny Chiyo, and the two of them are mutually in love."
"Because Chiyo's son and daughter-in-law were killed by Kakashi's father, the White Fang of Konoha, her hatred for Kakashi turned into love. She even wants Kakashi to help her have another son…"
"Wait, wait, why are we talking about Kakashi again? Weren't you saying Madara isn't human?"
The masked man interrupted him.
At this point, he didn't even care whether Kakashi might like an old woman.
Kakashi had always been a closet pervert. Given the kind of bizarre books he wrote now, nothing he did would be surprising.
"Exactly! So Kakashi and Madara are love rivals."
₹That monster Madara, in order to deal with Kakashi as a rival, even asked the First Hokage for help. He had Orochimaru revive your grandmother so that Kakashi would fall for someone else."
"…Revive who?"
The masked man froze completely.
He already felt like today's information was absurd enough, yet somehow it kept getting worse.
Was he really not trapped in the Infinite Tsukuyomi already?
"Your grandmother."
"… "
"It's true! Apparently, Kakashi had his eye on your grandmother since he was a child. His feelings for Granny Chiyo actually stem from your grandmother being his 'introduction to love'…"
"Shut up! Just shut up!"
At that point, the masked man felt goosebumps rising all over his body.
(End of this chapter)