Ren
"Someone kill me…" Ren groaned as he let his head drop on his table.
The chirps and sounds of nightlife echoed through his window. Which only increased his growing fatigue and irritation.
Slowly lifting his head, his eyes with bags under them glared at the stacks of paper and letters that sat in front of him. It was the result of rapidly growing his business.
He had expected more responsibilities, but nothing to this extent.
Letters of payment and meeting for contracts with the new storage house he was leasing, notices from the ministry, and don't even make him start on all of the paperwork.
All of this work had drained him far more than he expected.
'I can't even train as much anymore…'
Grabbing one of his notebooks, he flipped to the older pages to check if he had missed anything important. Only to lose his breath once he saw one thing that he had completely forgotten about.
"I still haven't met Xiao!" After everything he went through. Meeting Cloud Retainer, fighting Shenhe, and expanding his business. He had completely forgotten about the main thing he was preparing for.
Quickly grabbing his calendar, he swept through it to find a day when he had nothing to do.
Flipping from page to page, his eyes continued to widen. "What do you mean I don't have a day off for a whole three months?!" He slammed his arms on the table.
Every single day for the next three months was booked with meetings and business-related matters. The short hours between not being nearly sufficient for a meeting with the Conqueror of Demons.
Never in his life did he think he would be more occupied with work than with sorcery.
Literally throwing his calendar to the other side of the room, he turned around and jumped on his bed. Smothering himself face-first in the soft cushion.
He let himself have a moment to rest, clear his mind. Making decisions while overwhelmed would only lead to more headaches.
Flipping over to face the ceiling, he contemplated his options.
He couldn't afford to delay the meeting with Xiao any further.
But even as he thought so, hesitation bubbled up from his heart. A familiar feeling of fear surfaced when he remembered his first encounter with the Yaksha.
How he had nearly thrown his life away by summoning the Divine General.
Looking back, it was a stupid decision he made from sheer fear and panic. Never in his short time as a sorcerer had he seen anything so… terrifying.
When he stared at Xiao, the only thing he could see was pure malice. A being covered in a dark miasma that overwhelmed every sense he had.
It didn't help that it happened when he was still very unfamiliar with Teyvat.
Faced with such a being, his past self couldn't help but think that death would embrace him not a second later. So it would only make sense to bring down whatever abomination that stood in front of him with him.
'But things are different now.'
He had more shikigami, he had trained harder than he ever had before, his reserves were growing by the day, and he would only get stronger.
Even Shenhe, the disciple of Cloud Retainer, had to admit he was dangerous.
Ren raised his hand high, slowly clenching his fist. He couldn't help but wonder if all of that was even enough.
It wasn't.
It wasn't the same thing with Shenhe. He could keep up with her, hurt her, and had ways to run away.
He didn't even know if he had the power to run away if things went badly. If Shenhe was so far above him in raw power, how strong exactly was Xiao?
'A true sorcerer burns all else to ash in pursuit of their beliefs.' His dad had once said. "To be a sorcerer is to constantly brush with death. To understand that your life is as fickle as a small ember in the rain."
Ren had faced death before, even back on Earth. There was a time when his hands were covered in blood, and his life was nearly forfeit.
But back then and even now, he was afraid.
Afraid of dying. Afraid that he would never find a way back home, that he'd be stuck here forever. That he'd die in a place so far from home.
He missed Earth. He missed home. He—
'Sorcerers don't act like this…' He cut off his train of thought.
Ren's eyes slowly grew heavy as he let his fatigue get the better of him, "Am I really a sorcerer?"
/ — /
The world was grey.
Deep in the forest, shouting could be heard.
Ren was a child again, holding a wooden sword as he dashed at his father.
Ray Carver didn't even move as he caught the sword in the middle of his fingers and took it away.
He backhanded Ren across the face. The sheer force was enough to send him to the ground.
"Agh!" Ren shouted, his face covered in dirt and bruises.
In anger, he shaped his hands into the hand signs for Divine Dog. But Ray suddenly appeared in front of him, forcing his arms apart.
"I said no Ten Shadows."
Ren huffed in anger. With shaking arms, he pushed himself back upwards and faced his father.
"I-I can go again!"
"Ren…" Ray sighed. He dropped the wooden sword and crouched down to face his son, "We've trained enough, it's been hours, and you still have school—"
"I don't need school! I need to get stronger!"
"Don't use that tone with me, young man." Ray hardened his gaze.
Ren turned his face to the ground. His body was shaking as he tried to fight the tears from forming on his face.
"Why are you so insistent on this?" Ray asked quietly. "You're still young. There will always be time to grow."
"..."
"I—"
"Look at me when you're talking," Ray said gently.
Slowly, Ren lifted his head. Eyes teary as he faced his father.
"I… I don't want it to happen again." His voice gaining conviction as he spoke, "I hate that those people—weak people walk all over everyone."
"They don't have real power, but they get away with doing so much. I hate it!" His eyes turned manic as he glared at his father, "You said the Ten Shadows is strong. So I can get super strong and stop anything like that from happening again!'
"I can kill all those weaklings with no real power. I killed them before, and only lost once. With the Ten Shadows I—"
"Ren, that isn't—!"
"You said the Ten Shadows was special! So why won't you let me use it?! If I could tame more shikigami, I could—!"
"ENOUGH." Ray's voice boomed through the forest, snapping Ren from his spiral.
The two stared at each other, out of breath and overwhelmed.
Ray tried to hold his son's shoulder, only for Ren to shake him off.
"Ren… The Ten Shadows would be useless unless you learned how to defend yourself first." He said slowly, "You can barely control your Cursed Energy, and summoning the dogs already eats over half of your reserves. You can't ignore the foundations."
"I know…" Ren sniffled, "But you said real sorcerers always train. To reach the heights above everyone else, I needed to burn everything else away…"
"Yeah, I did say that, didn't I?" Ray was quiet for a moment. "I didn't say it was right."
He sat down on the ground. After a moment, he motioned for Ren to join him.
Ren hesitated. Then he sat, and Ray pulled him close without making a thing of it.
Neither of them spoke for a while.
"You don't have to be a true sorcerer to protect people," Ray said finally, staring at his son's eyes. "Strength alone won't give you what you're looking for."
Ren wanted to rebuke the statement, but the glint in Ray's eyes made him go quiet.
It was like he was recalling a memory.
"I don't want that life for you," Ray continued. "What you went through—I know why it scared you. I know why you think this is the answer. But burning everything away to become something that only judges and destroys… It will only drive you away from what you want… and leave you empty in the end."
/ — /
Ren woke to the sight of his apartment ceiling.
'Why that memory…'
He lay still for a moment.
His father's words were still in his ears. You don't have to be a true sorcerer to protect people. Strength alone won't give you what you're looking for.
Dad hadn't been wrong, Ren knew he was right… in a way. He always had an odd knack for sorcery. He spoke as if he understood the path better than most—the isolation and what it does to a person over time.
And it still didn't change anything.
Because dad had been talking about protection. About what strength was for. About what you built it toward.
Protection was never the first thing that came to his mind.
He remembered Liyue when he first arrived, expecting it to be no different from Earth. With Corruption running through it like groundwater, invisible until you knew where to look. People with money and status using both as weapons against everyone below them.
Yet… Liyue had surprised him.
The Millelith actually did their jobs. Contracts were enforced. Darkness was still ever present, yet it was fought, suppressed, and, dare he say, contained.
Without realizing it, he had let himself settle into a sense of safety without knowing why the settling felt like relief.
But that all changed the moment he got stronger.
Now, what he wanted to achieve was once again in sight.
He could feel it differently from before. The gap between where he was and where he needed to be was made incomprehensibly vast when he first arrived.
He couldn't see himself standing there with the godlike beings of this world.
Like walking up the tallest mountain, the peak completely out of sight.
But not anymore.
What was once shrouded in mist, he could now see himself standing there. Even if just barely. He could do it.
He could visualize himself standing at the peak.
And when he could actually see the shape of the person he was becoming, everything underneath came with it. The things he had let sit quietly while Liyue was new, humbling, and surprisingly gentle.
The weaklings.
The ones who walked over everyone. Who had no real power but wielded money and status like weapons, calling it strength. Who trampled whoever was beneath them and never once questioned their right to do it because nobody strong enough had ever made them.
They were a sickness. And sicknesses didn't negotiate. They didn't respond to kindness, systems, or carefully worded contracts. They responded to being pulled out at the root.
He was going to be strong enough to do that.
Not to protect. Not only to protect.
To judge.
To be the one who stood above everyone else and decided with real power.
'Sorry, Dad. I made up my mind a long time ago.'
He got out of bed and headed to his desk again.
Getting home wasn't just about going back. It was about going back as something that could actually do what needed to be done.
Every shikigami, every bit of CE, every day he spent getting stronger in Teyvat was a step toward the person he needed to be when he finally stood in front of the world he came from.
A true sorcerer.
Tomorrow, he would go to Wangshu Inn. He would stand in front of the most terrifying thing he had encountered since arriving in Teyvat, and he would get his answers.
/ — /
The Yuehai Pavilion was busy in the mid-morning. clerks moving between desks, documents being passed around.
Among the organised chaos was a half-adeptus.
Ganyu was carrying a stack of documents towards the building when she sensed a familiar presence.
She turned around and saw Ren approaching, and her expression shifted to a warmer one.
"Ren, this is a surprise. What brings you here?" She asked, before her expression turned into something worried. "Did Shenhe do something again—?"
"Don't worry, she didn't do anything this time," He said. Before saying in a quieter tone, "There is something that happened relating to her, but I'll tell you that… another day. I just needed to tell you something before I head out."
She tilted her head slightly. "Of course. What is it?"
"I'm going to use the letter."
She blinked. "Letter?"
"I decided to meet Xiao today. I'm heading to Wangshu Inn—"
"WHAT?!"
The word came out at a volume that did not fit at all with the quiet administrative setting they were standing in.
Clerks turned their heads simultaneously. A senior official was startled and dropped his brush.
They all shared the same combination of expressions. Surprise, then irritation at being surprised, then shock the moment they realized who actually shouted.
It was hard for them to believe that Ganyu was even capable of making such a sound.
Ganyu's ears turned pink immediately.
She muttered out an apology before taking Ren by the arm and dragging him to a quieter area.
"Was that the courier guy she hangs out with?" A clerk whispered to her friend beside her.
"It was." She said. Then a wide smirk appeared on her face. "Looks like I won the bet."
"Agh, fine!"
/ — /
After finding a quieter area without prying ears, Ganyu let out a sigh of relief.
"You're going today?" she said, her voice back to its normal register but still slightly strained.
"Yup."
"You didn't—you could have told me earlier, I could have—" She stopped herself before she started rambling and took a deep breath. "Have you thought this through?"
"I have."
"Because Xiao is not—" She paused again, choosing her words carefully. "He's not like the other Adepti. Approaching him requires—"
"Ganyu."
She looked at him.
"I've thought it through,"
She looked at him for a moment longer. The particular expression she got when she was deciding whether to push or let it go moved across her face, and she let it go.
"Could you at least wait until I'm free?" she asked. "I could come with you and—" She stopped herself mid-sentence.
The offer hung there for a second.
She knew she couldn't come. Her schedule was what it was, and beyond that — she looked at him and seemed to understand something without him saying it.
"You'd rather go alone, wouldn't you?" she said. Not quite a question.
Ren let out a small smile. "Yeah."
She sighed — a quiet exhale that carried more in it than the sound itself. Her hands found each other in front of her, which was what they did when she was thinking.
"There isn't much I can tell you about Xiao that you don't already know," she said finally. A conflicted look moved across her face, the specific expression of someone who wants to do more and can't find anything more to do. "I wish I could prepare you better."
"You've already done more than enough," Ren said.
She didn't look entirely convinced by that. She looked at him for a moment, then seemed to make a decision.
"Promise me you'll be safe."
Ren winced slightly. "That's a big ask, considering who I'm going to meet and how our last interaction went."
Ganyu hit him on the shoulder. It was light, but it meant something.
"Then promise me you'll be careful."
"Alright, alright." He raised one hand in a gesture of surrender. "I promise."
The worry on her face didn't disappear entirely, but something in it eased. She smiled at that. A warm and gentle smile that she always showed him.
Ren's mind halted for just a second.
Ganyu, who had been one of the first people in Liyue to treat him like he belonged here. Before he had built anything, before he had a business or any real reason for anyone to extend warmth in his direction.
"Thank you, Ganyu," he said instead, meeting her eyes.
It came out warmer than the moment strictly called for, and far more direct than a standard goodbye warranted.
Ganyu blinked. A faint color rose to her face, and she looked away briefly before looking back.
"You don't need to thank me," she said. "I haven't done anything worth thanking."
"Oh, you definitely have," he said, but didn't elaborate. "Well, I'd better get going now. Can't keep the Conqueror of Demons waiting."
"Very well," She said, the flustered expression still on her face. "I wish you the best of luck, Ren."
/ — /
Nue touched down on a flat stretch of road about ten minutes from Wangshu Inn.
Ren slid off and dismissed the shikigami before it drew any attention. He adjusted his jacket, looked in the direction of the inn, and started walking.
He could see the building from far away. It was hard not to.
Wangshu Inn was built into an enormous tree, its trunk wider than most buildings in Liyue Harbor, and its canopy spreading out at the top in a mass of gold that caught the light like something lit from inside.
The inn itself wrapped around the trunk in levels, wooden walkways, and traditional architecture climbing upward in tiers, lanterns hanging from the lower platforms and swaying slightly in the wind.
He continued walking. The nervousness had been manageable on the way here. Something he had acknowledged and set aside. It wasn't until the inn was close enough to see properly that his heart started to beat faster.
The last time he had been in proximity to Xiao, his instincts had done something he still didn't fully like thinking about.
Every sense he had had screamed at once. Something that bypassed the part of the brain that processed danger and went straight to the part that processed immediate death.
But he was stronger now. He had stood his ground against Shenhe… As debatable as that statement may seem.
Just as he reached the entrance of the inn, he was about to immediately head to the highest levels when he noticed something.
His hand was trembling.
'Maybe I should take a moment to calm down.' He went over to one of the tables set out and sat down.
He covered his face in his hands, 'Get it together.'
It wasn't the same as back then. He had more shikigami, more control, more CE in reserve than he'd had when he first arrived.
He was not the same person who had nearly gotten himself killed out of panic. He knew that.
But knowing and feeling something were completely different things.
He breathed again, letting his mind rest. He tried to focus on the sound of chatter around him, to the smell of food being cooked, and extended his senses to the gentle ambient energy around the area.
After a while, his hands stopped trembling.
He let out a long exhale.
A waiter appeared beside the table. "Good afternoon. My name is Yingxing. Can I interest you in something from our menu?"
"No thanks, I'm just—" Ren started, and then stopped himself.
He had just remembered something. Something fairly important that he probably should have thought about before arriving at Wangshu Inn.
'I FORGOT TO BRING AN OFFERING!'
Ren had completely forgotten about Ganyu's instructions. Xiao wasn't going to appear because he showed up and sat at a table. The letter was one thing, but having something to offer mattered. A reason to stay. A reason to engage beyond the bare minimum.
And the only lead he had on what an Adeptus might actually want was Ganyu, who was a vegetarian.
"Actually — do you have any vegetarian options?"
"Of course." Yingxing brought out a small card. "We have Vegetarian Abalone, Almond Tofu, and Bamboo Shoot Soup currently available."
"I see…"
Vegetarian Abalone. It was right there in the name. On the one hand, straightforward. On the other hand, he wasn't actually sure all adepti were vegetarian—that was an assumption based on a sample size of one person who was half-adeptus, which was not rigorous data. Showing up with something called Vegetarian Abalone felt too presumptuous.
Also, he couldn't remember if Xianyun made anything with meat when he was at Mt. Aocang.
Bamboo Shoot Soup was also out immediately. Soup was for casual conversation or when someone was unwell. He was about to attempt a serious discussion with the Conqueror of Demons.
That left Almond Tofu.
It was fairly simple. The kind of thing that worked regardless of preference. Even if a person wasn't a vegetarian, who would say no to some good tofu?
'Almond Tofu it is.'
"One Almond Tofu please."
"Right away."
/ — /
Minutes went by, and Ren was starting to get impatient.
After a longer wait than he expected, he went inside to check on the order.
The counter was visible from the entrance. Yingxing was behind it, and so was another staff member, a woman who appeared to be having a heated conversation with the man. Though Ren couldn't make out most of it over the ambient noise of the inn.
He did make out one part.
"I am NOT doing this, Volkov. This is YOUR task—!"
They both noticed him at the same moment. The conversation stopped.
"My apologies for the wait." Yingxing suddenly brought the Almond Tofu from somewhere behind the counter. "Here you go, please enjoy."
"Oh, thank you." Ren grabbed the food, but couldn't help but sense that something felt off, "Sorry, but didn't you say your name was Yingxing?"
"Ah." Yingxing smiled, but it looked very strained. "It's just a nickname. I am part Snezhnayan on my mother's side, you see. My colleagues find it amusing."
"Oh." Ren hummed. Maybe he was just too paranoid right now. "Alright then, I'll take my leave."
He headed back outside.
He was fairly sure he heard a slapping sound from behind the counter as he walked away.
'Alright, let's do this.' He wandered further into the inn, looking for a way up. He spotted a flight of stairs that went around the giant tree that housed the Inn, but he also spotted something completely unexpected.
'Is that a freaking elevator?'
It wasn't anything like the modern ones he was used to. It was wooden, suspended, operating on some mechanism he couldn't immediately identify, and somehow moved without anyone manning it.
He stepped into the machine.
"W-Woah!" He stuttered when the elevator started moving on its own.
"I guess they don't have buttons yet." He muttered.
Ren watched the levels of the inn pass by as it climbed, Liyue's landscape opening up around him as he got higher.
Not long after, he reached the highest level. He walked around the area and saw that most of it was for sightseeing. There wasn't much up there except a few empty chairs and a stairway heading to the lower, more crowded area.
Even if it was perfectly empty, he chose a seat a little further away.
He put the Almond Tofu on the table and took a seat.
"Haahh…" He took a deep breath. Opened his shadow storage and brought out his letter.
/ — /
He placed the letter on the table next to the Almond Tofu.
Then he waited.
The wind moved through the canopy above. The light shifted through the golden leaves. Somewhere below, the inn carried on its business like nothing was happening.
Then the air suddenly went cold.
His senses picked it up before his eyes did.
A presence, undoubtedly suppressed yet still overwhelming. One moment, the other side of the table was empty.
Then, in the blink of an eye, it wasn't.
"Hhh—!" Ren couldn't help but inhale sharply.
Xiao sat across from him. Golden eyes stared at Ren as if it pierced through his soul.
Ren couldn't make out the expression on Xiao's face. Was it irritation? Indifference?
Ren's hand found the edge of the table under the surface and held it hard.
Even concealed, the weight of his presence pressed against Ren's body, igniting his body's instinct to survive.
Xiao wasn't being hostile, yet his body still registered him as an overwhelming threat.
But beyond that, Ren's senses finally picked up on something new.
Last time, he'd been too busy thinking he was about to die to pay attention to anything else. But now, he could finally understand what Karma was.
It was close to CE. Much closer than he had expected. Closer than Shenhe's curse, closer than anything else he had felt in Teyvat. The difference was in the sheer potency that radiated out of Xiao.
'So this is what Karmic Debt feels like.'
Sweat ran down the side of his face.
Xiao's gaze dropped to the table. The Almond Tofu. The letter beside it. He looked at both for a moment before turning back to Ren.
"I did not expect you to show your face near here again."
Ren's grip tightened under the table.
He remembered who he was. Whether that was good or bad, Ren genuinely had no idea.
Xiao looked at the table once more. Then at Ren.
"You are also very prepared… Very well. I shall hear what you have to say."
The golden eyes settled on him.
"Now, what is it that you want?"