Chapter 326: No Friends, but Plenty of Girlfriends
"Why?!
Hirata-kun, you... you want me to be expelled!"
Shinohara Satsuki's eyes were wide open, her face a mask of utter disbelief.
Hikigaya really wanted to roast her.
He didn't know where she got this confidence from. Was it because she was a girl that she thought she shouldn't be designated for expulsion? Or did she think Hirata Yosuke would be soft-hearted?
"I didn't want to do this...
But you have repeatedly incited conflict in the class and conspired with others to bully your own classmates.
I truly cannot tolerate it!"
Hirata Yosuke's face showed a look of deep pain. "If the final outcome requires one person to be expelled, I believe it should be you—Shinohara Satsuki!"
'This guy finally did what a class leader ought to do' Hikigaya thought.
Horikita Suzune closed her book and stood up to voice her support. "I also believe the criticism votes should be cast for Shinohara Satsuki!"
"Horikita, you..."
Shinohara Satsuki immediately flew into a rage. "Why me?"
"I have clear reasons, of course. First of all, in the past two-plus semesters, your contribution to the class has been almost zero.
Your exam results are also consistently at the bottom."
Horikita Suzune unceremoniously exposed the other girl's track record.
"That's not true! My written exam scores are at least better than Sudo's!" Shinohara Satsuki's eyes were red as she tried to argue.
"Bullshit! Starting from this semester, my written scores have already surpassed yours!" Sudo Ken immediately shouted back.
Although his tendency to yell was unpleasant, one had to admit he had a bit of ground to stand on this time. After all, he had practically begged the entire class on his knees to stay; to avoid being expelled again, Sudo Ken had put in a lot of hard work after school, barely managing to scrape past the passing line on his exams.
"That was just an accident!" Shinohara Satsuki remained stubborn. "A gorilla like you with a simple mind and overdeveloped muscles—I'll overtake you in no time!"
"Who are you calling a gorilla?" The veins on Sudo Ken's forehead pulsed as he began to lose his temper.
However, this was exactly the result Shinohara Satsuki wanted. She further provoked him with her words: "What? You want to hit me?"
"Sudo-kun, please stay calm."
Onodera Kayano grabbed Sudo Ken's arm. With her considerable strength, she forcibly pressed the fuming boy back into his seat.
Then, she faced Shinohara Satsuki directly. "Even if your academic ability could overtake Sudo-kun, in terms of sports, you will never be able to compare to him!"
"Onodera, you're actually speaking up for Sudo?" Shinohara Satsuki's expression turned ugly.
"Onodera-san..." Sudo Ken looked at her with a face full of touched emotion. This was the first time he had received a positive evaluation from someone else.
"I... I'm just stating facts as they are." A faint blush appeared on Onodera Kayano's tanned face.
Upon seeing this, everyone in the class had a look of sudden realization.
'The athletes are in love!'
"Wow~ sweet love, it's really enviable." Kushida Kikyo murmured softly, then turned back to stare intensely at Hikigaya.
Hikigaya's eyes flickered as he subconsciously avoided Kushida's gaze. But when he looked in another direction, he met the fervent gaze sent over by Sakura Airi.
Stare... Stare... Stare...
Facing the gazes coming from various directions, Hikigaya could only faceplant on his desk and play the ostrich.
Currently, there were two girls with whom he had established a "connection," and Hikigaya couldn't think of a way to handle it properly yet. If a few more came along, he was truly afraid he'd be cut down by a "nice boat" style machete one day!
"Don't change the subject!" Horikita Suzune's eyes scanned the women eyeing her Hachiman with dissatisfaction as she forcibly interrupted the romance topic. "The most important point is, Shinohara Satsuki, you betrayed the class and conspired with people from Class A!"
"Wh-what...! I didn't do anything of the sort!" Shinohara Satsuki's heart skipped a beat, and she immediately denied it.
"Just yesterday, someone saw you go to a KTV with people from Class A!" Horikita Suzune further testified against her.
"I... I was just on a date with Satoshi-kun... right, we were just dating!!" Shinohara Satsuki forced an explanation.
"Um~" Kushida Kikyo spoke up, feigning nonchalance as she revealed the truth. "I think I saw Sakayanagi from Class A go there, too."
"Sakayanagi... Sakayanagi and I are best friends!" Shinohara Satsuki argued. "She even set me up with Satoshi-kun!"
However, no one believed such words.
By now, even the idiots in Class D knew that Sakayanagi Arisu of Class A was no saint!
Ayanokouji Kiyotaka, who had been silent for a long time, finally spoke, delivering the most fatal blow: "Forgive my bluntness, Shinohara-san, but given your appearance, it is truly difficult to believe that the handsome Satonaka would date you.
There is only one possibility: he is using you in an attempt to destroy Class D's unity."
'Class D's unity... this "artificial human" actually has the nerve to say that' Hikigaya thought.
Yet, Hirata Yosuke actually believed it, nodding seriously.
"Impossible! Absolutely impossible!!"
Shinohara Satsuki let out a hysterical wail. "Satoshi-kun and I are truly in love!!!"
Shinohara Satsuki's foolish performance further lowered her reputation in Class D. Everyone's disgust for her dropped to the same level as their disgust for Ayanokouji Kiyotaka.
Hikigaya estimated that in the criticism votes—where each person had three—these two would almost certainly take up a spot. The final result would depend on the praise votes from other classes.
Shinohara Satsuki's confidence likely came from the empty promises made by Sakayanagi Arisu, claiming she could rally Class A to give her praise votes... as if!
That loli brat is super vengeful! She definitely hasn't forgotten about being knocked down by Shinohara Satsuki during the forest exam.
As for Ayanokouji Kiyotaka's confidence, Hikigaya guessed he was likely out deceiving women. Even if Ayanokouji's reputation was terrible, the world never lacked shallow women who only looked at faces.
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Hikigaya headed to the Student Council; today was the day for the weekly routine meeting.
Although he didn't want to listen to that "smelly blond's" speech, considering the additional special exam for the first-years, Hikigaya felt it was necessary to gather some intel.
However, just as he arrived at the Student Council, he saw the doors to the meeting room tightly closed. The rest of the Student Council members were standing outside waiting.
The door was designed with soundproofing cotton; people outside couldn't hear the conversation within.
"President Nagumo is talking with the Chairman." A flash of resentment and jealousy appeared in Kiriyama Ikuto's eyes.
As the Vice President, he was nominally the second-in-command of the Student Council, yet he had no chance to participate in decision-making. Now, he didn't even have the qualification to speak with the Chairman!
"Oh."
Hikigaya just gave a response, showing zero interest. He went to the coffee machine and made himself an iced Americano.
After a long while, the meeting room door finally opened.
"Chairman-san, please take care." Nagumo Miyabi gave a polite bow.
A middle-aged man with squinted eyes walked out of the meeting room. His custom-made suit gave a visual impression of a tall, thin, and fit build. Upon closer inspection, one would notice that his hands were covered in thick calluses—at a glance, he was a formidable martial artist!
It was no wonder; Advanced Nurturing High School's principle was to cultivate outstanding talents in both the literary and military arts. As a Chairman "airdropped" from an external special assignment, it would be strange if he didn't have some skills!
While Hikigaya was secretly observing the squinty-eyed middle-aged man, the other man was also observing him.
"You must be that Hikigaya Hachiman, right?
I am Tsukishiro Tokinari, the current Acting Chairman of this school." Tsukishiro Tokinari greeted him with a friendly face.
"So it's the new Chairman-dono. Greetings!" Hikigaya deliberately omitted the word "Acting," showing a fawning expression.
"Heh~" Tsukishiro Tokinari saw through his disguise at a glance and laughed lightly. "I've heard about you from Ayanokouji-sensei, though it seems the reality is a bit different."
Hikigaya knew he was referring to the time he claimed to be a Class 1-A student in front of Ayanokouji Atsuomi.
"I've made a fool of myself in front of the Chairman; that was just my vanity acting up. Please, punish me."
"No need to be modest. Deception itself is an important ability." Tsukishiro Tokinari seemed very interested in him. It was hard to imagine a normal high schooler who hadn't even left campus could deceive a shrewd, calculating politician.
"Hikigaya, did you cause trouble again?" Nagumo Miyabi's rebuking voice came through. At the same time, he was very curious as to why Tsukishiro Tokinari was interested in Hikigaya.
"Not at all, I was just making a joke." Hikigaya twitched his lips.
"Nagumo-kun, regarding that matter... you can discuss it with Hikigaya-kun." Tsukishiro Tokinari gave him a look.
"..." Nagumo Miyabi seemed somewhat hesitant but could not defy the other's order.
"Hikigaya-kun, I look forward to your future performance." Leaving behind a meaningful sentence, Tsukishiro Tokinari left the Student Council.
"Hikigaya, come inside with me.
The rest of you, wait outside the meeting room." Nagumo Miyabi gave the order.
The Student Council members had various expressions, especially Kiriyama Ikuto, whose face was as dark as a coal pot! It was one thing to be unqualified to talk to the Chairman, but now he wasn't even as good as Hikigaya—this made him feel extremely aggrieved!
Hikigaya followed Nagumo Miyabi into the meeting room and closed the soundproof door.
"Is it really okay to exclude Kiriyama-sensei?" Hikigaya spoke first. "He is the Vice President, after all."
"Enough, Hikigaya.
There are no outsiders here. You might as well just say Kiriyama is just a pebble on the side of the road." Nagumo Miyabi sat down in his leather office chair, crossing his legs and dropping his elegant facade.
"President Nagumo is truly cruel." Hikigaya sat down in another office chair. "After all, dogs are man's best friend, aren't they?"
"Tsk tsk~" Nagumo Miyabi clicked his tongue. "As expected of the first-years' Great Demon King. Your verbal aggression is comparable to a curse."
Hikigaya didn't want to waste time and went straight to the point: "So, I wonder what instructions the Chairman gave President Nagumo this time?"
Nagumo Miyabi paused, his gaze toward him turning a bit more solemn. "Since when did you find out?"
"Is that so hard to guess?" Hikigaya asked back. "Adding such an unreasonable special exam specifically for the first-years and coming to the Student Council to talk to you—it's obvious he wants to manipulate the exam results from behind the scenes."
"I say, Hikigaya, today is the first time you've met Chairman Tsukishiro, right?" Nagumo Miyabi said with a strange expression. "How come you habitually treat everyone like a villain?"
"Because in my eyes, the vast majority of people in the world are villains." Hikigaya's eyes were cold. "Myself included, of course."
"Your distorted thinking... well, I guess you're right." Nagumo Miyabi nodded helplessly. "Just as you thought, Chairman Tsukishiro gave the Student Council an instruction: to find a way to get one person expelled..."
At this point, Nagumo Miyabi wanted to bait him and wait for him to ask who.
However, Hikigaya announced the answer directly: "Ayanokouji Kiyotaka."
"..." Nagumo Miyabi was momentarily dumbfounded. He said in a deep voice, "It seems you know more about the faction behind Chairman Tsukishiro than I do."
"No, I have absolutely no interest," Hikigaya denied.
"Since you already know Chairman Tsukishiro's order, you should know what to do, right?" Nagumo Miyabi looked at him. The other was in the same grade as Ayanokouji Kiyotaka and even in the same class; acting would certainly be much more convenient for him.
"Why should I do that?" Hikigaya's tone was calm.
"What do you mean? You plan to defy the Chairman's order?" Nagumo Miyabi frowned.
"According to the S-System rules, the school technically doesn't interfere in Student Council affairs, right?" Hikigaya said.
"You're talking to me about rules?" Nagumo Miyabi couldn't help but scoff.
In this school, the Student Council's power was indeed great—even ordinary teachers couldn't control them. But the Chairman was the rule-maker; if he spoke, would you really dare not listen?
"President Nagumo, this is the instruction the Chairman gave you.
I have no reason to cooperate with your actions." Hikigaya rejected him from the standpoint of the Student Council.
"Hikigaya, haven't you heard that the enemy of my enemy is my friend?" Nagumo Miyabi's face darkened.
"Then you overestimate me, President Nagumo.
I have no friends." Hikigaya's words almost choked the other man.
'You f—ker don't have friends, but you have a lot of girlfriends, don't you?'
"If there's nothing else, I'll take my leave." Since they were on different wavelengths, Hikigaya turned and walked out of the meeting room.
He even skipped the subsequent routine Student Council meeting. Anyway, the intel was confirmed. Since the Chairman's target was Ayanokouji Kiyotaka, let him go to hell for all he cared!
Instead of wasting time on other people's business, Hikigaya felt it was better to think about how to make them get along.
That was the real priority in life!
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