Chapter 280: Sakayanagi is Just My Toy
In front of Room 707.
"Sakayanagi, why are you here too?"
"Ah la~ Hikigaya-kun, you're quite humorous. Walking into the girls' dormitory so boldly, it seems you've become quite accustomed to this."
"I was invited here for dinner."
"What a coincidence, so was I."
Creak—
The door opened, and a girl with a side ponytail stood there with her eyes lowered, signaling for them to enter.
"Excuse me, Yamamura-san."
Hikigaya greeted her politely.
"Eh?"
Yamamura Miki looked up at him blankly, appearing quite surprised.
"What is it?"
Hikigaya expressed his confusion.
"No, it's nothing... I just didn't expect that someone as outstanding as Hikigaya-kun would know someone as insignificant as me."
Yamamura's voice was very soft, and a hint of joy flashed in her deep blue eyes.
"As for being 'outstanding,' that doesn't look like me no matter how you slice it."
Hikigaya's mouth twitched.
"As for Yamamura-san, you ranked ninth in the grade on the exams; that's hardly being 'unknown,' is it?"
"You really knew..."
A light sparkled in Yamamura's eyes, but just as she was about to say something, she was interrupted by Sakayanagi Arisu: "Yamamura-san, could you let us in before we continue talking?"
"S-Sorry!
Please come in, both of you!!"
Only then did Yamamura snap out of it, hurriedly moving aside to make room.
Hikigaya followed them into the dorm.
A small Christmas tree stood at the entrance, covered in light strips, and the room was decorated with a festive atmosphere.
This Morishita Ai really lived a life full of "ritual."
"Hachiman, Sakayanagi Arisu, you're here."
Wearing an apron, Morishita Ai walked out of the kitchen.
"Morishita-san can call me Arisu, too."
Sakayanagi had a smile on her face.
"No, I think I'll pass.
I get the feeling you wouldn't like others calling you by your name so casually."
Morishita had her own independent way of thinking.
"Then why didn't you ask me if I liked it?"
Hikigaya couldn't help but retort.
"Is there even a need to ask? Hachiman is a Great Demon King; there's no reason you wouldn't like a beautiful girl like me."
Morishita spoke these shocking words with a deadpan expression.
"Ha? What parallel world is this happening in..."
Hikigaya looked bewildered.
"No need to quibble; quibbling is useless.
It's a fact that you have targets you're 'conquering' in all four classes, A, B, C, and D, isn't it?
Perhaps you even dream every night about doing 'indescribable exercises' with them."
Morishita delivered a sharp criticism.
"..."
For a moment, Hikigaya was speechless, but he still tried to save face.
"What are you talking about so incessantly... well, don't worry, at least so far, I haven't dreamed about you."
"Oh? Does that mean Hikigaya-kun has already dreamed about me?"
Sakayanagi's eyes narrowed, and a meaningful smile curled on her lips.
"For example, becoming 'Sakayanagi Hachiman ' or something..."
"Cough, cough! How is that possible?"
Hikigaya was suddenly breaking a sweat, his voice turning somber. "I'm not the kind of man who lives off a woman's support."
"..."
"Isn't Hikigaya-kun's dream to become a professional house husband?"
Yamamura Miki suddenly spoke up, stating an undeniable fact about Hikigaya.
"How... how did Yamamura-san know that..."
Hikigaya looked shocked.
"I collected Hikigaya-kun's personal information."
Yamamura pulled a small notebook out of her pocket.
'Ehhh
She actually has one? Wait, why would you randomly collect my info!'
"I was the one who instructed Yamamura-san to do it.
I don't need to explain the reason in detail, do I?"
Sakayanagi took the initiative to admit she was the mastermind.
"I think it's better if you don't do such boring and redundant things..."
Hikigaya looked helpless.
"But I think it's very interesting."
Sakayanagi smiled charmingly, then shifted her gaze.
"Besides, I see that Yamamura-san quite enjoys monitoring Hikigaya-kun in secret.
Like...
What I mean is, she likes the vending machines that Hikigaya-kun frequently visits."
Yamamura had a special hobby—listening to the sound of vending machines alone to clear her mind.
"I see. No wonder Yamamura-san specifically went out to buy this this morning."
Morishita took a can of Max Coffee out of the fridge.
"You even know the drink I like?
It seems Yamamura-san's information-gathering skills are not simple."
Hikigaya took the Max Coffee.
"My eye for people is quite accurate."
Sakayanagi was very proud of her ability to scout talent.
"Morishita-san, please leave the kitchen work to me."
Yamamura volunteered.
"Okay, then I'll leave it to you."
Morishita didn't stand on ceremony; she untied her apron and tied it onto the other girl herself.
"Ai, brew some tea."
Hikigaya sat down on the sofa and gave the order without hesitation.
"Ha? Aren't you already drinking coffee?"
Morishita looked speechless.
"Lately, I've taken a liking to tea-coffee."
Hikigaya said.
"What a bossy guy."
Morishita grumbled under her breath, but still honestly turned around to prepare the tea leaves.
"Is that a hobby you developed while being with Shiina-san?"
Sakayanagi teased.
"You certainly know a lot."
Hikigaya didn't deny it.
"So, are you and Shiina-san dating yet?"
Sakayanagi asked seemingly casually.
"..............No."
Hikigaya replied.
"That pause... it seems Hikigaya-kun has a very high level of affection for Shiina-san and doesn't reject the idea of establishing a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship."
The smile on Sakayanagi's face vanished.
"That's the part that troubles me."
Hikigaya was completely ignorant when it came to romance. In his dream experiences, the
relationship had already jumped straight to marriage. As for the prior dating process, he had absolutely no memory of it.
"Hehe~ A boy troubled by love is truly cute~~"
Sakayanagi suddenly regained her smile.
For now, it could be confirmed that Hikigaya and Shiina had mutual feelings. The latter seemed to be waiting for Hikigaya to pursue her out of a girl's reserve, rather than confessing herself...
"Urusai! Shut up!"
Hikigaya's face flushed red, feeling a bit embarrassed and annoyed.
"The reason you're troubled is that you lack experience.
How about this: I'll be your practice partner?"
Sakayanagi propped her chin on her hand, her tone light and playful.
"Huh? What kind of execution is this?"
Hikigaya leaned back defensively.
"In that case, I'd rather have Ai as my practice partner."
"What practice partner?"
Morishita walked over carrying the tea.
"Romance practice."
Hikigaya told the truth.
"Tch!
See, it's exposed now!
In this kind of plot progression, 'practicing' eventually leads to the fake becoming real!"
Morishita crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes wary.
"Hachiman, you're clearly lusting after me, fantasizing about adding me to your harem."
"No, that was just a joke!"
Hikigaya hurriedly denied it.
"Ah la~ I'm not joking~~"
Sakayanagi picked up her teacup and blew gently on the tea.
"If Hikigaya-kun feels that I alone am not enough, you can bring Masumi along too."
"Got it, it's not a joke, it's a 'joke' (English)."
Hikigaya couldn't be bothered to listen to her nonsense.
"Dinner is ready."
Yamamura Miki came out carrying the prepared dishes.
Hikigaya was about to step forward to help, but Morishita pressed him down.
"Guests should sit still."
"Fine then."
Hikigaya didn't insist; after all, his favorite thing was to be served.
"Speaking of which, Sakayanagi, you haven't moved an inch. You really are thick-skinned."
Hikigaya mocked her, just to find something to say.
"With my mobility issues, I'm afraid I'd only be a hindrance doing physical labor."
Sakayanagi didn't mind her own physical limitations at all, speaking with poise.
"As compensation, I usually help them with their tutoring."
"I see. It seems you led the class to defeat Ichinose and the others in this exam."
Sakayanagi's total score on the final exam was 765, only one point lower than that cheater Ayanokouji Kiyotaka. Considering she was responsible for creating the questions and tutoring her classmates, her own study time was inevitably compressed. Being able to score this high proved she was a true genius!
In contrast, Horikita Suzune, who was also responsible for the questions and tutoring, saw a slight decline in her own grades.
This was the gap between a true genius and an effort-based genius. Of course, Hikigaya belonged to the latter category.
"Just a small test of my skills."
Sakayanagi's voice was lazy, as if defeating Ichinose was an effortless operation for her.
"If possible, I truly look forward to someone facing me in a direct confrontation.
Hey~ Hikigaya-kun, can you be my opponent?"
As she spoke, Sakayanagi gazed at him with burning intensity.
"Hmph!"
Hikigaya delivered a hand-chop, lightly striking Sakayanagi's forehead.
"You lose."
In a physical duel, a total victory!
"..."
Sakayanagi was stunned.
"Yo~ You look like you're not satisfied?"
With a mischievous grin, Hikigaya reached out his hands toward Sakayanagi's fair cheeks, pinching and pulling them.
'Just a bratty loli, a toy!'
At that moment, Morishita and Yamamura brought out the remaining dishes. Watching the normally proud and elegant leader of Class A being toyed with in the palm of Hikigaya's hand, they were momentarily dumbfounded!
"HIKIGAYA!!!"
Sakayanagi raised her voice.
"Itadakimasu."
Hikigaya had quite an appetite, finishing three whole bowls of rice.
Having eaten and drunk his fill, the favors were settled. Learning from his previous lesson, Hikigaya left the girls' dormitory early, well before curfew.
-
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December 24th, Christmas Eve.
The festive atmosphere on campus was even thicker. Couples could be seen everywhere.
"Tch! Explode, normies!"
Hikigaya's face was full of resentment. It wasn't that he had any expectations for Christmas Eve.
It was just that on such a wonderful holiday, he wasn't in his dorm playing games and watching anime. Instead, he had to fulfill his duties for the Student Council, which was annoying!
Especially since the last public duel, Nagumo Miyabi had been finding trouble for him for no reason, assigning him to patrol every day to maintain school discipline...
Supposedly, that "dead blondie" had invited several girls to a karaoke bar. What a load of crap!
[Hachiman-kun, do you have any time today?] A message from Sakura Airi.
[No time. Why?] Hikigaya replied.
[Eh!? Is Hachiman-kun on a date with someone!!!!!!] It was clear Airi was anxious; she was typing incredibly fast.
[I'm on a date with Air-chan.] Hikigaya remained expressionless.
[Who is Air-chan!]
[Read as 'Air,' written as 'Atmosphere.']
[Uuuugh~ Hachiman-kun is a tease.]
There were several other similar messages. Hikigaya was too lazy to reply to them one by one, so he simply updated his status signature:
"Discipline Committee Head is on the move, strictly cracking down on behavior that violates public morals."
"Everyone is welcome to report violations!!"
Although Advanced Nurturing didn't ban campus romance, it did have certain restrictive regulations.
For example, in public places, excessively intimate acts like kissing or hugging were prohibited as violations of school rules. Of course, rules were one thing, and reality was another.
As long as the behavior wasn't too over-the-top, the Student Council usually turned a blind eye.
After all, the current Student Council President, Nagumo Miyabi, often kissed and hugged girls in broad daylight, as if he couldn't wait for others to envy his romantic prowess.
Hikigaya's inbox soon received a large number of anonymous reports. See? This is the will of the people! Everyone is disgusted by such behavior that ruins public morals!
Hikigaya took immediate action.
Based on the addresses provided in the anonymous messages, he dragged out pair after pair of couples whose behavior was out of line. Behind the gymnasium, he even caught a pair of... brothers (Aniki) who were meeting "nakedly"?!
"Wait... can't you guys just go back to the dorms?
Do you have to do a 'field battle' out here?" Hikigaya covered his eyes, unable to look.
"Hehe~ Isn't it more 'stimulating'?" The two senpais gave a greasy smile.
"Put your clothes on and get out of here!"
Hikigaya shouted sternly: "I won't comment on your sexual orientation for now. But please, senpais, pay attention to your reputation. Don't go too far. If you provoke public disgust, it won't end well for you."
"Uh, thanks for the lecture, kouhai." The two weren't complete idiots; they understood that their unique hobbies went against the mainstream.
Once exposed, it would be social death!
On Christmas Eve, Hikigaya became a "couple killer," effectively cracking down on numerous out-of-line couples and maintaining school discipline. Hikigaya suddenly felt his mood was incredibly refreshed!
Another report...
Following the address above, Hikigaya arrived at the library. Good! To commit such acts in this sacred, quiet place of reading—unforgivable!
Hikigaya soon discovered a man and a woman in a hidden corner.
"Horikita-kun, I... I..." The girl took a brave step forward and stood on her tiptoes.
"..." l The boy seemed to hesitate, his hands rising and then falling.
"!!!" After seeing the two clearly, Hikigaya immediately stopped in his tracks. It was actually Horikita Manabu and Tachibana Akane.
He wouldn't break this pair up.
Just as he planned to pretend he hadn't seen anything and quietly leave. Horikita Manabu suddenly turned around, his sharp gaze staring straight at the location where he was hiding.
"Who's there!"
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