Hey, Kid.
Hey, Folks.
Hmm...
Guess what?
I tend to ask God (The Universe) what have you,
For signs when things seem to be going too well, you know?
Remember that date that I had coming up?
Yeah...
That sign came through, and it came right on time!
Lmao!
Just my luck, I say.
But you know what?
Rejection is protection!
She didn't reject me; the Universe protected me from her.
Why?
I am meant for so much more.
She had so many red flags.
Crimson flags.
Burgundy flags.
Maroon flags.
What were the flags that she had, you ask?
I am so glad you asked!!!
- She had racist family members. I am Black... That is a huge and immediate deal breaker, you know?
- She had chlamydia. Like, ACTIVLY INFECTED. Seriously... How the hell are you out in this world actively dating with a raging STI!? That is not only fuckin' mind-blowing, but horribly selfish! Look... Shit happens.
It does, and I get that!
But get yourself together before you have the audacity to put yourself back out on the market! Have some damned decency and self-respect!
- She responded to text messages 2/3 times a day. A DAY! We make time for what/who we want to make time for. There are 24 hours in a day... That is more than enough time for someone without kids.
- She had never been in a long-term relationship, and she didn't know if she was capable of it.
That wouldn't have been a problem for me had I not been (seemingly) the one example of a decent guy that she had ever spoken to...
That is a LOT of pressure, especially if her poor dating choices had already further tainted her family's perception of African American men.
- She wanted me to respond to her questions in a way that SHE wanted to hear, and wouldn't take in anything that I would say if she didn't agree with it.
That is very immature -in my opinion- and was a sign of a lack of emotional and intellectual maturity.
I couldn't deal with that. I put up with that sort of mentality with my ex for nearly nine years, and I refused to go through it again.
- Lastly, she used her "mental illnesses" as reasons and excuses for many things in her life instead of simply addressing and working on those things.
That was a turn-off for me.
I loved that she was aware of those things, and even actively working to better herself and her lifestyle, but I just didn't like that so much was blamed on those things without accountability.
I had to terminate that situation.
She was no good for me.
I need to stand on my principles, and I do my best not to ignore flags that I disagree with.
I urge you all to do the same!
Just because someone is attractive to you doesn't mean that they are good for you.
Keep that in mind.
Take your time and look beyond the superficial layer.
People can and will tell you anything you want to hear.
You must filter through all of it with a keen and trained ear, mind, and heart.
I will let you all get to what you came for, you?
I will keep telling you about these women, Kid.
One of them could be your mother one day.
Oh, and by the way!
I've been talking to someone new for the past few days, lbvs!
One step at a time, Kid.
I won't rush this.
She seems like a very kind person thus far, but as I just stated, people can and will tell you exactly what they think and know you want to hear.
I will be cautious and keep you all up to date, yeah?
Especially you, Kid.
I will get out of the way so you all can read, lol.
See you soon!
Enjoy.
(Leaps into the control center for the Slappery-Slappish-Slappington 3000.1 and turns as many knobs and keys as possible! I also slapped all of the buttons. I have no idea what most of this stuff does!)
-----
June 5th, 2022.
-----
Dear You.
On the hill again.
Hopefully, I get the chance to bring you here one day.
I hope your star is out there... Your soul.
Watching.
Waiting for the right time.
Whenever that is...
I need you, Kid.
I know you are out there.
I just know.
And now you are reading this.
I knew you were meant to be here.
See...
This is the power of manifestation.
I love you so much that it hurts,
And I would do anything for you.
If I have ever NOT done something to this point,
And it means that much to you...
You get this ONE.
Show me this page, and I will do it.
ANYTHING.
One time.
For YOU.
Fear stops us from finding out what's on the other side.
I love you...
-Dad.
-----
Hmm.
Where to start?
- There is a park behind my apartment complex called Three Bridges Park.
I love it so much.
After I left my ex-fiancé and moved into my new place, I would go there and hide or sit for hours just thinking or working on volume one of One Last Knight.
It was and still is one of my favorite places to be.
It brings me a strange sense of calm and comfort, you know?
I made the mistake of showing her that place several times, and she almost took that from me as well.
She would demand we do things and go places when she would show up at my apartment after we broke up, and I was still healing, and still had a lot of residual love for her, so I would bend to her will.
I took her there a few times, and she almost ruined it for me with her negative energy and mindset.
The plus side? I learned more about her and more reasons to cut her from my life -outside of everything she put me through- and move on for good.
She expected me to have loved and been madly in love with her for over a decade, then just throw it all away and be nothing more than friends?
Yet she still wanted me to sleep with her whenever she wanted it, and take her places, AND stay single.
That's fuckin' wild.
Selfish.
Cruel.
She wanted me all to herself, yet wanted nothing to do with me outside of my dick, my company, my money, and my time?
Make that make sense!
I am single because she pushed me away after I chased her for over a decade, yet she still had the nerve to demand a slot in my life, and one of importance at that!
What the actual fuck, lol.
Sheesh.
- I don't think you are out there, honestly.
I don't think you exist.
I am sure that if you did, your mother would have found me by now.
Maybe you will be born still.
Maybe this new woman is the one who will bring you into this world?
We will see, now won't we?
So will all of you, Folks.
You've been around long enough; I'm sure you'll hang around a bit longer to find out!
I will leave you all at that and let you get back to your busy lives.
I hope that this both finds and leaves you well, and I hope even more to see you all next week for the next chapter, you know?
I love and appreciate you all more than you can imagine.
I hope you do exist, Kid.
I also hope that you don't hate me for not being in your life if you are out there.
I want nothing more than to be with and around you, believe me.
See you soon, yeah?
Safe travels, Kid.
You all as well, Folks.
See you soon, and as always:
Stay safe.
Stay healthy.
Stay vigilant.
- Bluu.