The morning sun filtered through the stained-glass windows of the tavern, casting dappled light onto the faces of the Red Force crew.
Shanks was holding a meat-juice-stained fork when he suddenly froze. The phone in front of him was playing the morning news, showing Big Mom wearing a jewel-encrusted director's hat, with a huge poster behind her of Katakuri in a suit, 'wall-slamming' Pudding in a maid outfit.
"Pfft—!"
Over a dozen coffee fountains simultaneously erupted from the mouths of the Red Hair Pirates' executives, arcing glisteningly in the sunlight.
Yasopp's new sniper scope was covered in latte sprayed by Lucky Roux, and Beckman's freshly lit cigar dropped onto his crotch.
"Beckman..." Shanks' single arm trembled slightly, and his steak 'plop' dropped onto the deck. "Am I still drunk?" He rubbed his eyes hard. "Is that... is that the Big Mom Pirates?"
Morgans on the phone was still passionately commentating: "...The first episode of'Sweet CEO, Don't Love Me Too Much' premieres tonight at 8 PM! According to analysis from our newspaper's special commentator, Mr. Katakuri's domineering CEO image may redefine the aesthetic standards for men in the New World..."
Beckman silently picked up the burning cigar and extinguished it on his pants: "Captain, we might need to re-evaluate the threat level of the Four Emperors." He stared with dead fish eyes at the close-up of Katakuri's charmingly twisted smile on the screen. "This kind of mental pollution... is even more terrifying than Haoshoku."
"Domineering CEO???" Shanks' voice rose eight octaves. He grabbed the phone and watched with wide eyes. "What in the world is this?!"
The front page prominently displayed 'Understand Domineering CEO Literature in One Picture': a Q-version image of Katakuri was performing the classic 'three parts mockery, three parts coldness, four parts nonchalance' facial expression management.
Lucky Roux's half-eaten chicken leg dropped to the ground: "Isn't that just Kaido-sensei's expression when he's drunk..."
"MAMAMAMA!" Big Mom's signature laugh came from the phone, "Families, remember to send gifts! The top gift giver can request Katakuri to wear a specific suit!"
The entire Red Hair Pirates fell into a strange silence. Yasopp slowly wiped his sniper scope: "I'd rather take on a hundred Marine Vice Admirals alone..."
Suddenly, Shanks burst into earth-shattering laughter: "Hahaha! Linlin is going to change careers and become a producer!" He laughed so hard that tears came out. "Quick, quick! Let's have a party tonight! I want to watch the premiere!"
Beckman's temples twitched: "Captain, we are Four Emperors..."
"What about being a Four Emperor?" Shanks wiped away his laughing tears. "Kaido is already teaching online courses, so it's perfectly normal for Linlin to make short dramas!" He suddenly lowered his voice, "You guys say... should I also do a mukbang? Like 'A Four Emperor's Daily Life'..."
"Bang!"
Beckman finally couldn't take it anymore and slammed his hand on the table, shattering it: "Everyone, go train! Now! Immediately!"
But when the First Mate turned around, he found the deck empty. All the crew members were hiding everywhere, secretly pre-ordering tonight's short drama premiere. Even more terrifying, Yasopp was installing a recording function on his sniper rifle: "What if I miss President Katakuri's classic scenes..."
At the same time, the end of the video was still looping: "...First episode special benefit: The first 1000 viewers to tip will receive a Katakuri autographed mochi figurine..."
Beckman looked at the clear blue sky, suddenly wanting to retire early.
....
Navy Headquarters,
The new glass window in Fleet Admiral Sengoku's office was once again destroyed. With a deafening roar, the bulletproof glass, installed just three hours ago, shattered into pieces.
"Garp!!!" The veins on Sengoku's forehead bulged like earthworms, and the rice cracker bag in his hand was crushed to powder. "What's wrong with this sea? Even the Four Emperors are starting to neglect their duties!"
The projection Den Den Mushi was still dutifully playing the Totto Land Film Studio's promotional video: Katakuri in a suit, pinching Pudding's chin, with the sweet 'Love Circulation' playing as background music.
Garp, sitting cross-legged on the sofa, paused his finger from picking his nose: "What's wrong, you want them to be pirates?"
He nonchalantly flicked away a booger, hitting Big Mom's director's hat on the screen. "It's much better now. Kaido is teaching online courses, Linlin is making short dramas..." He shoved another handful of rice crackers into his mouth. "It's better than them causing trouble everywhere, right?"
"Bang!"
Sengoku's fist smashed through the desk: "You call this 'not causing trouble'?! " His trembling finger pointed out the window—on the Marineford training ground, a group of Marine soldiers were secretly gathered around a Den Den Mushi, and the screen prominently displayed the trailer for'Sweet CEO, Don't Love Me Too Much'.
Even more frightening, Kizaru's leisurely sigh came from the hallway: "Oh~ Mr. Katakuri's taste in suits is really good~"
Akainu pushed the door open with a gloomy face, his eyes under his cap brim bloodshot: "I just received a report..." His canines gnashed. "G-5 Branch has all applied for time off, just to watch the drama tonight!"
Garp suddenly slapped his thigh and laughed: "Hahaha! This is much more interesting than the 'Pirate King' craze a while ago!" He pulled out his phone and shook it. "I just sent a message to Luffy, telling him to ask Linlin for an autograph..."
Luffy: Me???
"Garp!!!!!" Sengoku's roar ripped off the roof.
Akainu's fist ignited with magma: "I'll go to Totto Land right now..."
"Report!" The frantic communications officer rushed in, "Just received word, the Big Mom Pirates have applied for'Special Protection Policy for Cultural Creative Industries' on the TikTok platform!"
The office instantly fell silent.
Garp's rice cracker bag dropped to the ground: "Pffthahaha! Linlin's move is brilliant!"
Sengoku mechanically turned to look at the surveillance screen—on the training ground, a certain Marine Rear Admiral was secretly watching a close-up of Katakuri loosening his tie on his phone.
"This world..." Sengoku's goatee drooped powerlessly, "Might as well be destroyed..."
....
Onigashima,
Kaido sat cross-legged on a giant rock at the peak of Onigashima, his bronze skin gleaming with a metallic luster in the morning light. His thick fingers were scrolling on his phone screen, his hassaikai casually leaning against his shoulder, and the fine wine in his gourd was already at the bottom.
"Ding~"
A specially followed TikTok notification suddenly popped up. Kaido, with his blurry, drunken eyes, glanced at it, then suddenly froze as if struck by lightning.
A mouthful of wine he hadn't yet swallowed slid down the corner of his mouth, 'plop' dripping onto the screen—which prominently displayed a Q-version avatar of Big Mom wearing a director's hat, with the caption "Totto Land Film Studio's first domineering CEO short drama premieres tonight at 8 PM."
"Uh... guk?"
His Adam's apple bobbed, and the sake gourd 'clanged' as it rolled down the cliff. His thumb trembled as he tapped to open the video.
....
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