[10 Downing Street]
The Muggle Prime Minister of Britain sat slumped in his office chair, his eyes lifeless.
In front of him was a thick stack of documents, each stamped with the words "Top Secret" on the cover.
Every one of them was a record of the supernatural incidents that had occurred across Britain recently.
The most common type of incident was drunken disorderly conduct.
Of course, unlike ordinary drunks causing trouble, the drunkards whose cases ended up in this stack all carried a magical little wooden stick.
By waving that stick, they could easily turn bar owners or anyone else who annoyed them into porcupines or rats.
Besides that, riding flying broomsticks through busy streets in broad daylight and groups of people beating each other up with colorful beams of light from little wooden sticks had become common sights.
Some had even begun attacking government offices!
Take the Prime Minister's own residence, for example.
In just the past week, it had already been attacked no fewer than twelve times.
In front of those strange people carrying little wooden sticks, the British intelligence service's once-proud security system was nothing but rotten mud.
Those strange people could easily break into anywhere they wanted, then do things that ordinary people could hardly imagine.
For example, taking a dump on the Prime Minister's desk.
Or hugging the Prime Minister's balding head and kissing it twice while cheering things like, "We won!"
It was truly bizarre.
Because they never actually did anything that caused real harm to the Muggle Prime Minister or anyone else.
It was almost as though breaking into the Prime Minister's residence was simply because they had gotten drunk and wanted to find a suitable toilet, or because they wanted someone to share their joy...
As the actual ruler of Britain, he had seen all kinds of bizarre things.
Especially among high society. Beneath the glamorous and extravagant outer robes of those so-called "nobles" hid nothing but vulgar filth involving excrement, urine, and all sorts of indecencies.
Even the Prime Minister himself had certain hobbies.
In fact, he rather admired the strange man who had defecated on his desk.
The only thing that man had done wrong was choosing the wrong moment to relieve himself.
After all, the Prime Minister had been discussing next year's military budget cuts with the Home Secretary at the time.
His sudden intrusion had made everyone extremely awkward.
But if that were all, it wouldn't really matter.
What the British Muggle Prime Minister truly couldn't stand was that he had absolutely no way to deal with those strange people.
Even after they committed serious crimes, another group of uniformed strange people would arrive, take the culprit away, and erase the memories of everyone present except for the Muggle Prime Minister.
As a result, Muggle law had no way of punishing those strange people for crimes committed in Muggle society.
That was why the Muggle Prime Minister had hidden himself inside 10 Downing Street.
He actually didn't like this famous place at all.
It was too cramped, and because of its age, the decor was badly outdated. Sometimes the air even carried a musty smell.
But there was no helping it.
It could be said that this was currently the safest place in all of Britain.
Those strange people with little wooden sticks might be able to break into his residences elsewhere, but they could never enter 10 Downing Street.
Because that was part of the agreement signed between Britain's Muggle government and a group known as "wizards."
"Wizards..."
The British Muggle Prime Minister muttered softly, his expression immediately becoming extremely strange.
That was the collective name for those strange people carrying little wooden sticks.
The first time the Prime Minister had heard that wizards really existed was on the day he succeeded to the office of Prime Minister.
Back then, his predecessor, an old man who had lost all his hair after serving only a few years as Prime Minister, had excitedly grabbed him by the shoulders and told him about the existence of wizards.
At the time, he had been a "firm materialist," so naturally he hadn't believed such nonsense.
But when his predecessor brought him to the Prime Minister's office in 10 Downing Street and pulled away a cloth covering part of the wall, he felt his entire worldview shatter in an instant.
Because what appeared before him was a portrait that could move, greet people, and hold conversations!
The portrait had even explained the agreement between Muggles and wizards to him.
At first, the Prime Minister thought it was just another prank from his predecessor.
Perhaps there was a television built into the wall or something.
But that conclusion was quickly overturned.
Because no matter what methods the Prime Minister tried, he couldn't inflict even the slightest damage on the portrait. He couldn't even remove it from the wall.
That fact left him with no choice but to believe.
After that, like his predecessor before him, the Prime Minister sealed away the portrait that was supposedly used to communicate with the wizarding government.
He simply couldn't stand being watched every day by an intelligent portrait.
But now, after suffering so many attacks by wizards, the Prime Minister felt it was absolutely necessary to have a proper talk with this so-called wizarding government!
With that thought in mind, the Prime Minister quietly got up like a thief, tiptoed over to the wall, and carefully lifted one corner of the covering cloth.
"Hey! Are you still alive?"
The Muggle Prime Minister's call received no response.
That made him breathe a sigh of relief.
He hadn't really expected the portrait to solve any of his problems, and to be honest, he was also rather afraid that it might actually speak. That was simply too frightening.
So the current situation suited him perfectly.
Whoosh!
The Prime Minister yanked the cloth away in one motion, revealing the portrait of the first Minister for Magic on the wall.
"I don't care who you people are, but you'd better know your place! This is my country, while you're nothing but parasites living on this land! So if you still want to keep living, you'd better obey my orders honestly! Otherwise... heh, heh, heh!"
The Prime Minister laughed smugly.
That little speech was actually a habit he'd developed since childhood.
Whenever he'd been mistreated outside and forced to swallow his pride, he'd hide alone in his room and play this sort of "game."
Although it looked rather embarrassing and childish, he had to admit it worked wonders for relieving stress.
Every time he "berated" his opponent like this, he felt much better afterward.
This time would naturally be no exception.
But just as he was gathering his emotions and preparing for another round, the man in the portrait, who had been perfectly still until then, suddenly turned to look at him.
The Prime Minister's words caught in his throat before they could leave his mouth, making his entire face flush red.
The man in the portrait said calmly,
"I will pass everything you just said on to the Committee for Muggle Affairs. I imagine the officials there will be so angry when they hear about this that they'll twist your head right off."
"Oh! My dear..." The Prime Minister paused and glanced at the nameplate beneath the frame. "Mr. Ulick Gamp! Please don't do that. The truth is, I wasn't talking to you just now, so there's no need for you to pass those words along. After all, if you report every casual remark I make, that would count as spying on me. If I remember correctly, that would violate the agreement between wizards and humans!"
"Watch your wording. It's the 'Wizard-Muggle Agreement.' Wizards are humans too. The way you put it makes it sound like you're calling us inhuman! Although, I really am not human. I'm only a portrait."
"Yes, you're absolutely right. I was mistaken."
The Prime Minister bowed respectfully.
Of course he could tell that "Muggle" was definitely meant as an insulting term, much like the n-word.
But at a time when his life was potentially at risk, he truly didn't care.
"It's not impossible for me to forgive you and keep this a secret," Ulick Gamp's portrait said thoughtfully. "As long as you put a television in this office for me. I've heard from the Ministry clerks that televisions are wonderful things. Just like the magical photographs in the Daily Prophet, the pictures move!"
"No problem. I'll have a television delivered later. That's easy. I can even bring you some videotapes while I'm at it."
The Prime Minister changed the subject.
"But Mr. Ulick Gamp, as my contact with... whatever this 'Ministry of Magic' is, shouldn't you also explain why the wizards have been causing so much trouble lately? Honestly, it's created considerable difficulties for both me and the rest of humanity."
The portrait of Ulick Gamp didn't answer.
He merely looked the Prime Minister up and down with a strange expression.
It made the Prime Minister feel uneasy.
He was already thinking about taking back what he'd just said.
But at that moment, another, somewhat elderly voice spoke from behind him.
"Because of war."
"Who!?"
The Prime Minister spun around in alarm while pressing a concealed alarm button built into the wall.
Unfortunately, although the button was pressed, the alarm that should have echoed throughout 10 Downing Street never sounded.
The Prime Minister looked rather awkward.
He forced a smile toward the elderly man emerging from the shadows.
"My apologies. That was rather rude of me. May I ask who you are?"
"Albus Dumbledore. Prime Minister, you may call me Professor Dumbledore."
"Oh! So you're Professor Dumbledore! It's a pleasure to meet..." The Prime Minister suddenly froze. He stared at the old man with wide eyes before murmuring after a long moment, "You're Dumbledore? That highly respected white wizard?"
"So the Prime Minister has heard of me as well? That's quite unexpected."
Dumbledore smiled and scratched his head.
Meanwhile, beads of sweat appeared across the Prime Minister's forehead.
He only knew of Dumbledore because of the previous British Prime Minister.
During the transition, his predecessor had told him many things about the wizarding world.
The two people mentioned most often were Voldemort and Dumbledore.
According to him, each of those two possessed power comparable to a nuclear bomb. Not only that, they were intelligent, highly mobile walking nuclear warheads, the strongest of wizards!
If someone with abilities like that wanted to kill him, it would take little more effort than crushing an ant.
"There's no need to be nervous, Prime Minister."
Dumbledore seemed to have seen through his thoughts and said gently,
"I haven't come here with any ill intentions. I only wish to explain a few things."
"You're referring to... the war?"
"That's right. More precisely, the war between the British Ministry of Magic and the French wizarding world. It's a war of revenge, so the British Ministry of Magic is currently rather short-handed at home. Some unrest within society is only to be expected."
"I... I see. So you've gone to war again. That's understandable, of course. Heh... heh..."
As the Prime Minister spoke, he couldn't stop giving awkward laughs.
It was the only way he could hide his embarrassment now.
He was no stranger to wars between wizards.
The turmoil Voldemort had caused over a decade ago hadn't only affected the wizarding world.
During that war, the Muggle world had actually suffered far greater losses than Britain's wizarding world.
Now another war had begun.
And this time it was a war between Ministries of Magic. Who knew how a conflict on such a larger scale would turn out!?
After taking quite some time to calm himself, the Prime Minister spoke again.
"Very well. I understand the situation now. Then how long do you estimate your Ministry's war will last? As you know, if those wizards are allowed to keep causing trouble throughout society, our administrative departments and propaganda departments will have terrible headaches."
"You don't need to worry about that at all, because the war is already over. Thanks to Commissioner Link Flamel's outstanding command, the British Ministry of Magic has won."
The moment Dumbledore said that, the Prime Minister froze.
Through monitoring society, he had actually been able to estimate when the British Ministry of Magic had truly deployed its forces.
That happened to coincide exactly with the time he had cooperated in sealing the French border.
If that was the starting point, then it meant the British Ministry of Magic had taken only about one day from officially deploying its forces to defeating the French wizarding world.
That was simply unbelievable.
But after recovering from the shock, the Prime Minister found the corners of his mouth rising uncontrollably.
Although it sounded rather unreasonable, hearing that France had suffered, especially in such an outrageous way, already made him extremely satisfied.
It was simply ingrained into his DNA as a Brit!
Taking a deep breath, the Prime Minister said cheerfully, "This is absolutely wonderful! I suppose France must have surrendered, right? They're quite good at that sort of thing. Even their national flag was designed specifically for it."
As he spoke, the Prime Minister made a cutting gesture.
The sight instantly made both Dumbledore and Ulick Gamp's portrait laugh.
But after laughing, Ulick Gamp suddenly shouted, "Wrong! The French wizarding world was defeated fair and square by our British Ministry of Magic! Because we have Commissioner Link Flamel!"