I was drenched in rain.
Banging the door of the person who hurt me the most.
The door opened slowly.
Lucifer was standing there, still in the same shirt from today, sleeves unbuttoned, eyes tired but sharp. It felt like he knew I'd be coming.
Rain dripped from my hair onto the marble floor between us. I didn't wait.
"I need some answers."
My voice came out louder than I expected — raw, trembling, full of everything I'd been holding inside for hours.
I was not this person.
When something bad happened to me, I'd stay quite. I knew this moment would pass and I'll soon forget these sad memories.
But when Lucifer agreed to the marriage, He was abandoning me.
I didn't want to be abandoned, not by him.
It was for the first time in my life, that I stood up for myself.
He looked at me for a long second. Wet clothes clinging to my body, mascara probably running, hair plastered to my face.
Then he exhaled.
"Go home, Aafreen. This was a business decision. We'll talk tomorrow about your career."
He started to close the door.
I slammed my fist against it — hard.
The sound echoed down the hallway.
He stopped.
I had turned desperate for the answers; his look softened up, he knew I was not going to leave in peace this time.
He opened the door again.
"Get in," he said quietly.
I stepped inside, shoes squeaking, water pooling at my feet. The door clicked shut behind me in finality.
He went in the room while I stood in the Hall, This was the first time I came to his home. His home was... lonely, and cold. He lived alone for a long time I could tell.
He came out of his room with a soft towel, he offered it to me.
I didn't take it, so he spread it over my head like a blanket and walked back.
He stood with his arms folded, waiting.
I didn't sit. I didn't take off the towel.
I just looked at him.
"Did you say yes?"
"To Ji-Ah."
He didn't answer right away.
Then: "It needs to be done."
My chest caved in.
"It needs to be done?" I echoed, voice rising. I couldn't believe that, I was abandoned and the reason for it was so simple.
"Is that all? Is that all you have to say?"
He rubbed a hand over his neck.
And he nods in affirmation.
"It's my responsibility. I built this firm. With other partners. Hundreds of people depend on it. 150 million isn't pocket change. It's the difference between growing and being stuck."
He continues, "It was not an easy decision. Everything has a price, even this decision."
I felt the floor sway.
"And the engagement?" My voice cracked. "The marriage to Ji-Ah?"
He looked away for the first time.
"That's the price."
The words landed like a punch.
I laughed — short, broken, bitter.
"So everything in Miami… everything I gave you… it meant nothing?"
His eyes came back to mine — stormy, pained.
"I never said that. It did mean a lot."
"Then explain it!" I shouted, tears already spilling.
I was afraid of myself. I had never acted like this before.
I sounded selfish, like a person I'd want to avoid myself. But Lucifer was trying to calm me instead.
When I'm this state. I tried to control my Voice and soften my expression.
"Explain all the promises you made. The way you held me after. The way you said I was yours. I let you touch me, Lucifer. I gave you my heart. I changed myself to be with you, I became the woman I swore I'd never be, because you wanted me. And now you're going to stand there and marry someone else because of money?"
"No, you are abandoning me.
You made me feel needed.
I trusted you.
I'm worthless?"
He closed his eyes briefly.
"No Aafreen, you are not worthless. This decision is not mine alone."
"I dont like it myself, but here I am, and here you are."
I never thought of Lucifer as a person who would change his decisions on circumstances.
For me he was a person who did everything that he wanted, when he wanted.
But now he was tied to his position. I didnt understand it that much, but he was desperate as well.
I took a few steps towards him and said "Then do what you want. Don't marry Ji-Ah."
Something in Lucifer changed; he went back to the pained face that made him look sad.
"No, Aafreen. I'm sorry," he said. "That's all I can say."
"This is a contract.
I need this.
Besides, it true. That you are too young to be with me. And with Rhea out of the will , I may need to have children soon, those who will uphold my legacy.
And god knows how long you may need to get ready for that in the future."
He said those last sentences while giggling. Maybe he was trying to lighten up the mood.
But my mind was blank with rage.
Too Young.
Two words.
Was he being sarcastic? OR Did he not see me as a Women?
It felt like a knife twisting in my womb.
I couldn't hold myself back. I wanted him to Feel and Acknowledge my anger.
To let him know that he is wrong.
I shoved at his chest — weak, furious.
"Don't."
I hit him again — open palm against his shoulder.
Again — against his chest.
"Stop," he said, catching my wrists.
I wrenched free and hit harder — chest, arms, anywhere I could reach.
"Stop it," he said louder.
I couldn't.
The sobs were coming too fast now, angry and ugly when I said "Too Young?"
He grabbed both my wrists in one hand, crossed them above my head, and pushed me back until my spine hit the sofa.
I landed half on the cushions, half off.
He loomed over me.
His free hand came to my throat — not choking, just holding. Firm. Steady.
"Enough," he said low, his eyes were filled with sorrow.
I was scared, I felt as if I crossed the line.
I tried to push him, but it felt like I was pushing a stone wall. His large solid hand wrapped around my neck like an Iron collar.
My pulse hammered against his palm. Astaghfirullah… I should scream. I should run.
But my hips lifted toward him instead.
I was once again met with the difference in strength we had, like I felt in Montreal as if he was made to devour me.
At the moment something in my body rushed to my head, It felt like a dizzy flutter in my chest.
My body felt heavier as the time went by. I could feel his knee touching my thighs. His breath on my skin. His warmth on my breasts, even when he wasn't touching.
I stilled, chest heaving, tears streaming sideways.
He looked down at me. And apologized.
"I'm sorry, I should not have said that."
He slowly moved his hand from my throat to shoulder.
That feeling of being rushed and heaviness started fading away slowly.
And slowly my senses came back to normal.
He waited for me to look at him and said.
"You had your chance to like me, I forced you to." he said quietly. "You were afraid of me. Every time I got close, you— pushed."
Fresh tears spilled.
I whimpered, "But you did make me love you."
His expression looked painful, like he regretted it.
He was shaking his head, not looking away from my eyes.
His lips drawn away, bitten by his teeth.
He whispers "When you pushed me away, It hurt."
"I'm sorry," I choked out. "I'm sorry—"
I tried to stabilise my breathing, because there is something I wanted him to know.
I couldn't keep it in my heart any longer.
"Lucifer, I Love You."
I had realised the truth in my heart, the root of all my sorrows. It was Love.
I had unknowingly, truthfully fallen for him, and it was not Ayyashi.
This, what I felt deep inside me could be explained my this word Mohabbat.
I asked him the question he was avoiding to face.
"Do you Love me, Lucifer?"
He paused for a moment, he was searching for an answer that was right infront of his eyes, I could feel it.
"Yes!"
He said, that he still loved me. That was enough to turn my painful tears to the tears of happiness.
I looked at him and smiling, but the tears still kept falling down my cheek.
"But, It's too late, Aafreen." he said this and was moving away from me.
My legs moved before my brain caught up.
I wrapped them around his waist — tight, desperate — pulling him down so he couldn't leave.
"Please, I'll do better." I whispered, voice cracking. "Keep Loving me. Love me as you please."
His breath hitched.
I lunged — crashing my mouth against his.
He froze for another moment.
Then he kissed me back — hard, hungry, like something inside him finally broke.
Astaghfirullah… The words kept moving my my head.
But from now on, I'll say these words when I fail to fulfil my role as his women.
I am his, and he cherishes me.
And he is everything I want.