I... just wanted to be loved.
I... just wanted to have family.
I... just longed for love.
I... just wanted love... love... love... love... love... love... love... love... love... love... love... love... but why!
Why! When I had Geass, he loved me so much, but after I lost Geass, he hated me so much? Why? Why? He loved me, didn't he?
So, Geass was a lie... just deception, self-deception... Everyone was deceived, not by me, but by Geass, and I was deceived by it too! Everyone should hate Geass! Why... why do they look at me with such hatred... What do they call me?
Witch? Demoness? Immortal Witch? Speaking of which... it seems they hit me hard... with the bottom of a pot... It hurts, it hurts so much... But... I can feel pain... It really hurts... Why did they hit me?
They tied me up, they killed me... My heart was pierced, blood spewed from my trachea, flowing from my nose and mouth, it hurt... it hurt so much... But for some reason, the moment I lost consciousness, the injury... no, it should be death... all left me.
I stood up amidst their terrified gazes, and they tried to kill me like madmen, drowning... beheading... cutting in half... dismembering by five horses... I... couldn't die.
Because that woman gave me the curse!
I am not loved by anyone, nor accepted by anyone, they hate me, curse me, despise me... They... want to kill me.
Burning at the stake... the most terrifying punishment.
The pain of being burned alive, a pain that even three days and three nights of wailing cannot end, no one can endure... And my immortality... will be burned to ashes... Is this the end of my life?
I watched the torches emitting thick smoke, as if to blacken the sky, and I suddenly felt a hint of regret for how I used to play with everyone's emotions with Geass... If only I hadn't played with everyone so recklessly... it would have been better.
Tears ran down my nose and into my lips, salty and bitter. I always thought that after having Geass, I would never cry again... Am I still human?
Closing my eyes, I awaited the final moment.
The noise suddenly fell silent. I didn't open my eyes; I just waited quietly, waiting for death, waiting for the end.
Then I was taken down by someone. What is this? A new way to die? I couldn't help but mock myself internally. I knew I had no right to mock others; I was shameless for toying with other people's emotions.
"Hey, kid, girl, are you alright?" I was touched all over, and I couldn't help but feel a hint of shyness. The so-called being loved was just a puppet completely obeying my will. If I was hungry and felt that having bread and steak was being loved, then someone would always appear before me and take me to their home to give me bread and steak.
If I thought you were like clowns, then they would become clowns, using their antics to satisfy my 'being loved,' like someone manipulating puppets. If I didn't offer myself, no one could force me to 'love.'
So, I hadn't married yet, and even if someone confessed, it felt like a product of Geass. I slowly lost sensation for love.
This person's voice was gentle, and his hands were soft. When he gently untied my clothes, I couldn't help but open my eyes and look at him.
He was a very handsome man, delicate yet unexpectedly exuding a masculine aura. There was no fierce killing intent in his brows, nor the arrogance of someone superior; there was only gentleness, and... warmth.
His eyes were emerald green, like a cat's. I suddenly thought his eyes were so beautiful... much, much more beautiful than my amber eyes... He saw me and stopped untying my clothes, but his fingers began to poke at my body... It was itchy and numb. I once heard the nun who gave me the eternal curse say that this seemed to be a way to check for broken bones... He's really amazing.
While poking my body, he asked with a concerned expression, "Are you alright?"
Does he also 'love' me? Do I want him to love me?
I suddenly realized that I no longer had Geass... All I had was the eternal curse of immortality... I let out a faint sound from my nose, so weak that even I couldn't hear it.
"Alright," he gently let go of me, tenderly wiping away the uncomfortable stains from my face: "Your body hasn't suffered much harm. Can you stand up?"
I was slowly helped up by him, gaining 'freedom' for the first time.
Looking at the distorted faces below, I couldn't help but take a small step back, hiding behind him.
He wasn't tall or burly; in the reflection of the sun, he even seemed a bit 'fragile,' but he felt like the safest fortress in the world... making me no longer afraid.
The people below were still shouting.
It was nothing more than the witch must be burned, she will bring disaster to the town, the immortal me must die, otherwise the world will end... and so on.
I couldn't see his expression. I was afraid he would be persuaded by their ferocious faces, so I quietly grabbed the corner of his clothes, silently pleading from the bottom of my heart for him not to abandon me... Without Geass... no one loved me... "Kill twenty people." His voice was still gentle, but I didn't understand.
Because the row of angry townspeople, who were being held back, suddenly fell into pools of blood. The people holding them back were very powerful, completely encased in iron. With just a flash of light, people fell into pools of blood one after another.
It seemed like the first time I had seen murder, but I didn't feel much. Perhaps I was already used to it... being killed and such.
I suddenly understood what love meant, because without Geass, this time I clearly felt love... This man... I love him, because I don't know him, yet he gave himself without any reservation.
He suddenly turned to me and smiled brightly, like the sun behind him: "Hey, you little brat, whom everyone wants to kill, what's your name?"
I looked into his eyes and suddenly had an urgent impulse to tell him my name.
"Caitlin Candida," I whispered, my lips barely moving.
"Pure White Snow... Is that it? What a nice name." Hearing his words, I suddenly felt a surge of joy.