Thinking about Kaede Kitahara's face, Tsunade felt both annoyed and amused. The kid was ridiculous.
Were the brats in Konoha all this sharp-tongued now?
What shocked her more, though, was everything Kaede's diary was exposing. He had some unknown ability that let him peek into the past and the future.
That kind of power was not completely without precedent in the shinobi world. There were legends, like the priestess of the Land of Demons, who was rumored to be able to glimpse what was coming. Jiraiya had also mentioned the Great Toad Sage of Mount Myoboku, an existence said to see a fragment of the future and who had urged him to search for a prophesied Child of Destiny.
Tsunade had never believed in any of that.
Child of Destiny, born savior, prewritten fate… it all sounded like fairy tales.
But after reading Kaede's diary, for the first time, her certainty wavered.
Maybe there really was something that could not be avoided.
And if she accepted that, then it meant Dan's death and Nawaki's death were also destined.
She could not accept that.
Not for a second.
"Tsunade? He actually ran into Tsunade?"
Back in Konoha, in another hot spring inn, Jiraiya stared at the diary, frozen.
He had returned to the village ahead of schedule, but he had no desire to make a scene. Not when Orochimaru might have people watching, and not when he did not want to draw attention.
He also had no interest in dealing with Konoha's upper ranks, with their probing stares and their careful questions about whether he was friend or threat. Especially now, when the Third Hokage being old was no longer a secret. If one of the Sannin came back while Sarutobi Hiruzen was clearly declining, how many people would show up at his door to try to talk him into taking the Fifth Hokage seat?
He could already imagine it.
He would be harassed to death.
If he wanted the job, he would have taken it a long time ago. The Third Hokage had not suddenly aged overnight.
In fact, years ago, Sarutobi Hiruzen had already been showing signs of struggling.
So lately, Jiraiya had not been staying at his own place. He had formed a quiet understanding with the higher-ups.
They would pretend they did not know he was back.
He would pretend he did not know they knew.
But he had not expected Kaede to run into Tsunade on the road to the Land of Wind, and it amused him more than he wanted to admit.
Especially when Kaede openly mocked Tsunade's gambling luck.
It was hilarious.
And honestly, Kaede had a point. Bet the opposite of Tsunade and you would end up owning a mansion by the sea.
Then Jiraiya reached Kaede's description of Konoha's Legendary Sannin.
Sex, gambling, and drugs.
His entire mood cratered.
It was accurate, and it was vicious.
"This Kaede Kitahara," Jiraiya muttered, letting out a bitter laugh. "That mouth is lethal."
"Konoha's Legendary Sannin are sex, gambling, and drugs?"
Hatake Kakashi nearly sprayed water.
As much as he hated to admit it, it was painfully precise.
How had he never realized you could sum up the Sannin in three words like that?
It was almost impressive.
In Akatsuki's base, Uchiha Itachi read the same line and went stiff for a second, black lines practically appearing over his head. Then he had to fight the urge to smile.
It was awful.
It was also accurate.
Only Uchiha Sasuke stared at the diary, completely confused.
Sex, gambling, and drugs?
What did that even mean?
Kaede's mocking clearly pointed at Tsunade loving to gamble and always losing, but why did the First Hokage Senju Hashirama get dragged into it too?
He could not make the legendary God of Shinobi in his textbook match up with the idea of some gambling addict.
The diary updated again.
[Right now, Tsunade is probably still trapped in grief over her brother and her lover. Every day she uses booze and gambling to numb herself. What she needs is a man who can crack open her heart.
And yes, that man is Uzumaki Naruto.
This is the savior's strongest ability, the ultimate mouth style, also known as Talk-no-Jutsu, or more lovingly, Kotoa-mouth-sukami. Helping Tsunade out of her shadow and curing Hemophobia is nothing. He has talked down more than one big boss.
She probably saw that kid in him too, the one who used to shout about becoming Hokage every single day.
Nawaki's death changed two of the Sannin permanently. Tsunade sank deeper and deeper. Orochimaru watched Nawaki die and started obsessing over how fragile life was, which pushed him faster toward human experimentation. Even Jiraiya's fate was dragged along.
Honestly, if the Old Sannin had stayed in Konoha, how strong would the village be now? It would definitely be better than the current situation where they cannot even pick a Fifth Hokage.]
The diary continued updating.
"So this Kaede really does know a lot," Tsunade said with a crooked, self-mocking grin. "He even knows I'm using booze and gambling to numb myself."
She understood her own problems perfectly. She just refused to face them.
It was nothing but drowning sorrow in alcohol.
There were many things she did not want to face, things she thought she could not face, so she chose to numb herself instead.
And it was not like she was the only one. Jiraiya was not exactly healthy either.
Among the three of them, aside from that damn Orochimaru, who was actually mentally stable?
"Crack open my heart? Uzumaki Naruto?" Tsunade snorted. She did not believe for a second that the brat was that magical. Talk Release, mouth style, whatever you wanted to call it.
She had seen the term Talk Release in Kaede's earlier entries too. With context, she could guess what it meant.
She just did not believe Naruto could pull it off.
If her psychological wounds could be fixed by someone saying a few comforting words, she would have healed them years ago.
"He even knows about Hemophobia," Tsunade said with a cold laugh. "That kid really does know a lot."
Then she saw the mention of Nawaki again, and her expression turned hard.
That was a scar that never stopped hurting.
After meeting Dan, she had finally started climbing out of the pit Nawaki's death left behind.
Then Dan died too, and it felt like the world had doubled down on cruelty.
Still, the claim that Nawaki's death had shaped the Sannin's futures was not wrong.
After that day, the three of them had started drifting in the wrong directions.
"Hokage," Tsunade said with contempt. "What's that worth? Whoever wants it can have it."
For other people, becoming Hokage was the highest honor.
For her, it was just a title that had always been around.
Her childhood had been full of Hokage. The First Hokage and Second Hokage were her grandfathers. The Third Hokage was her teacher. The Fourth Hokage was her junior.
What was unreachable for others had never felt distant to her.
And when she was drowning in grief, when Nawaki and Dan had both talked about becoming Hokage someday, she had grown to resent the word itself.
"Talk-no-Jutsu? Kotoamatsukami?"
Uchiha Itachi's eyes lingered on the diary's description of Uzumaki Naruto's so-called mouth style. He felt speechless at Kaede's crude humor, but he also felt curious.
He had been reading the diary for a long time now. He had made his own quiet judgments about Kaede's personality.
Kaede often wrote nonsense, joked, acted unserious, but even when he presented something like a joke, it frequently carried important information.
In other words, by now, Itachi had gotten good at judging which parts were likely true.
If Kaede kept bringing up Naruto's Talk Release, then Itachi believed Naruto really did have an extraordinary ability to reach people.
And then his thoughts drifted to the future.
Sasuke seemed like he would go astray. He would become a Missing-nin, join Orochimaru, even reach the point of joining Akatsuki.
And yet, in the end, Uzumaki Naruto still managed to pull him back.
That alone proved Naruto's ability to persuade was not some empty joke.
Maybe Sasuke really would need Naruto to guide him.
If that was the case, then even if Itachi died right now, he could die without regret.
But he still could not help imagining.
If the Old Sannin had never left Konoha, and the Fourth Hokage had still been alive, that would have been five Kage Level shinobi in one village.
Even if the Uchiha Clan had been full of resentment, would they really have dared to rebel?
And if the Uchiha had never been pushed to the point of rebellion, then Itachi would never have needed to carry this fate.
Maybe the Uchiha Clan would still be alive.
Maybe he would have become an elite Jonin in Konoha, and Sasuke would have grown up surrounded by family.
In the end, all of that could only dissolve into a quiet sigh.
"Hemophobia… he even knows that?" Jiraiya froze for a moment, then sighed. With how strange Kaede was, it was not surprising that he knew.
Then he saw Nawaki's name, and the sigh got heavier.
If he really traced it back, Kaede's argument was not completely wrong.
The Sannin's fates did change the day Nawaki was killed by an Explosive Tag.
It sounded a little forced, but it was not baseless.
"Becoming Hokage? I don't care!"
Inside the Uchiha Clan's old compound, Uchiha Sasuke turned his head away.
It was not like he was completely unmoved by the Hokage seat. He had also been raised on the Will of Fire.
But there was no way he would act like that dead-last, screaming every day about becoming Hokage.
That would be humiliating.
He was not jealous.
The diary updated again.
[The Sannin battle back then was one of the early Shippuden's classic scenes, but it's a shame it never really delivered. The stage was huge, but none of the Sannin were at their peak. One had Hemophobia, one was drugged, and one had crippled hands. After that, we never got another chance.
The next time you get a similar legendary scene, it's probably the Fourth Great Ninja War, with the New Sannin, Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke, and Sakura gathering together.
And of course, Sakura's strongest genjutsu moment, "Lady Tsunade, I think I've caught up to them."]