Moonshadow was a dark elf with pointed ears, and the Ravagers on the other side were not exactly whispering. Even a blind man could have heard them perfectly clearly, which made sense, because blind did not mean deaf.
Not only was she not angry, she was delighted. She deliberately put on a fragile, saintly little act and called for gallant protectors, blinking wide, watery eyes at the two men beside her.
Skyl did not react at all. His opinion remained the same as ever: it was ridiculous watching an ancient crone pretend to be an innocent young maiden. A demon god had neither gender nor morality, so being "kidnapped for her looks" meant nothing to her. And in private, her tastes ran wild enough to make the average Vegas degenerate pass out on the spot.
Tony, on the other hand, would have loved a chance to show off in front of the beautiful professor. Even if he could only earn a smile, it would have been worth it. What he had not expected was for the Ravagers to start fighting among themselves first. In order to win the beauty's favor, they eagerly stabbed their own buddies in the back, rushed to distance themselves from the men who had suggested taking her by force, and loudly declared that what they wanted was a passionate, fiery date with Lady Moonshadow instead.
That was the Ravager way, no shame at all. For a pretty woman, they would stick a knife in a brother's back without blinking. Before long they were all shouting and pointing guns at one another like it was some full-blown Wild West standoff.
Yondu sighed and covered his face. He could not even be bothered to deal with that humiliating pack of idiots, so he walked straight over to negotiate with Skyl instead.
"So what kind of business do you want? Or did you just come looking for trouble? Answer carefully, because heads have a way of coming off around here."
"With a face bluer than a Smurf, you must be the Chief Yondu Udonta Mr. Quill never stops talking about," Skyl said with an easy smile. His young face carried a wizard's slyness and a powerful man's composure, which immediately made Yondu wary.
"Quill? That son of a beach? I don't believe he says anything nice about me. But if you're here to do business, you can trust me completely. And while we're at it, if you happen to see Quill, tell him I'm furious. He'd better pray he doesn't fall into my hands, or I'll skin him alive."
Tony cut in from the side. "Actually, Quill thinks pretty well of you. Aside from calling you an old freak, an old bastard, snaggletooth, toilet-bowl cleaner, and shark-head, he respects you a lot."
Yondu's face darkened so much it looked ready to start dripping. "Do me a favor. If you can bring Quill to me alive, I'll pay a hundred thousand credits."
"We came to find Chief Yondu because we're tracking Quill's whereabouts. Does the name Ego ring a bell?"
"Ego?!" Yondu snorted. "I knew this day would come sooner or later. That little punk Peter's dead meat. At least I won't have to collect his corpse myself. You want to know where Ego is, right?"
Yondu really was the king of tsundere old men. He could talk all day about turning Quill into unrecyclable garbage, but the instant he heard his bargain-bin son might be in danger, he got tense.
Skyl invited him to come along. "Prophecy says Ego's planet was meant to be your grave. This battle is also your best chance to wash away your disgrace."
"Prophecy? Either you're feeding me nonsense, or you really are a wizard." Yondu scratched at his scalp. "I saw tribal wizards when I was a kid. They looked a whole lot more impressive than you."
"Then they probably couldn't do this." Skyl glanced at the Ravagers, who were already itching to haul Moonshadow back to their ship. After listening to enough of their filthy nonsense, he flicked a chain of lightning into the crowd, high voltage and low current, not fatal, but wonderfully contagious, with an added [Bucktooth Hex].
In the blink of an eye, every Ravager there sprouted a pair of long front teeth.
"Listen up, you bunch of horny idiots. Say one more smart remark to my crew, and I'll turn you into rabbits and sell you to a Southern barbecue joint as spicy rabbit."
The Ravagers fled in terror. Moonshadow looked delighted and draped herself all over the moment.
Yondu's cheek twitched. He counted himself lucky to have escaped disaster. "All right, I believe you're a wizard now. I'll take you to Ego. Or you can ride on my ship."
…
During Peter Quill's time in prison, he missed Moonshadow every waking moment. He deeply regretted never learning that incredibly cool portal trick of theirs. If he had, then a lousy prison like this would have been somewhere he could come and go from whenever he pleased. Places like prison had a long tradition of making life miserable for newcomers, so to protect his rear end, Quill fought like his life depended on it.
Fortunately, the time he had spent leveling up aboard the Planeswalker had not been wasted. Marvel sorcerers might be called spellcasters, but in practice they were basically berserkers. As an honorary member of Kamar-Taj, Quill had received Skyl's training in the purest possible form, completely authentic, with fists, kicks, staves, and clubs all taught with great care. Quill was not exactly a genius, but he was built sturdy, and when it came to martial arts he picked things up well enough. So the day he arrived at the Kyln, in order to defend a decent young man's dignity, he put on a one-man kung fu show that practically screamed, "I can take ten of you!"
He still got swarmed by a pack of hulking alien bruisers who did not fight fair and ended up beaten black and blue, but at least Quill managed to establish his authority in that lawless black prison with his fists. Everyone there learned that this washed-up looking Earth guy was not easy to mess with.
Compared to Quill, who had carved out a foothold for himself, Gamora had no such luck. Her father, Thanos, had left mountains of bodies across the galaxy, and the prison was full of relatives of his victims who were eager to make an example of Gamora and call it justice for the dead. One pair of fists could only do so much against a whole mob, and on her very first night in prison she very nearly got killed.
She was only spared because Star-Lord stepped in on her behalf and made it clear that Gamora hated Thanos too, that she was on their side.
That was how they also got to know one more iron-willed meathead, Drax the Destroyer. The three of them started planning a jailbreak, but unlike in the original story, Rocket was not with them this time. Without that ace to lean on, escaping became much harder.
So Star-Lord embraced the full Rocky-training-montage approach to prison life, drilling his kung fu and digging deeper into his Celestial power. He believed with absolute certainty that one day he would be able to open a portal and lead them all to freedom.
And so the days dragged by. Star-Lord's control over Celestial energy improved little by little, and every night in his dreams he saw a giant brain floating in deep space, that self-proclaimed father of his, steadily drawing nearer.
When Ego finally made his move, it was with overwhelming force. He shattered the Kyln with ease. It was the first time Quill truly realized just how powerful the Celestial force inside him really was. Things that could confine mortals, bars and walls, time and distance, all of them were nothing but tiny ditches before a Celestial.
Ego took him back to his own planet. There, Quill listened as Ego laid out his grand plan, devour all life in the universe, assimilate every world, and then they would achieve eternity.
"The universe doesn't need that many chaotic minds. When all that remains in this world is us, our eyes will be the only way the universe can see itself clearly. Our ears will be the only way the universe can hear itself clearly. Our thoughts will be the only way the universe can understand itself. When that day comes, we will become the universe itself."
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