Today is the day. It definitely is. I've failed to lead my boyfriend in the past few weeks, but today I'm determined. Blake should come any time now and I watch the clock closely as my heart begins to beat faster and faster with each tick, unable to do anything else. To say I'm nervous is an understatement, but above all, I also feel this weird excitement. I've studied enough, so I should be fine. I hope. Sex is fun, right?
The bell rings, and my whole body locks up. Okay, let's calm down and welcome him as I usually do. With that in mind and a heart beating rapidly, I open the door.
"Hey, you made it." I huff out, trying to sound as normal as possible.
"Hey, baby." Blake smiles, looking handsome as always. I usher him inside before I do something stupid like kiss him right there at the doorway for all my neighbours to see.
Blake follows me to the kitchen as I prepare the food. The pasta is already done and I only need to take the garlic bread out of the oven.
"Is there anything I can do to help?" Blake asks behind me, hovering too close. He's always close, a habit I noticed not too long after we got together. Not that I hate it.
"No, need. You go ahead and take a seat."
I slide past him, heading towards the oven, but stop when I feel a warm hold around my waist. His firm chest presses against my back. My body stiffens for a brief moment when I feel Blake's hot breath on my shoulder, sending shivers down my spine. I lift my face to his, only to feel his grip tightening when our eyes meet.
"Blake? What are you doing?" I mutter, heat rushing to my cheeks.
But instead of answering me, he buries his face into my shoulder.
I laugh, feeling ticklish. "Blake, seriously… what are you doing? I can't prepare food if you won't let me go." He isn't budging. So I wriggle out of his hold and gently cup his face in my hands. "We can cuddle all you want, but let's eat first. Okay?"
"Fine," Blake mumbles with a reluctant huff as he finally steps back from me. Now why do I miss his touch already? The sound of the oven timer going off jolts me out of my thoughts, but before I can react, Blake already walks past me, swiping the oven mitts off the counter.
"I'll get the baguette," he says, hovering over the oven.
I nod. Even after I told him he should just relax and sit down, he still insists on helping. In the end, we both set up the table and had a fairly nice dinner. We talked, ate and talked some more and before I knew it, time flew by. It's crazy how time always passes so fast when I'm with him, I wish it could just slow down.
Blake suggests we watch a movie after we finish cleaning up the plates. I agree, of course. Not because I wanted to watch anything, but I don't know how I should initiate the first step. Which is… getting him to bed.
Once we're seated, I can't help but put my feet up, hugging them tight as my chin rests on my knees. I let Blake pick out a movie, and it doesn't take him long to find something. But I don't bother looking at what kind of movie he chose. My eyes are too focused on him, while his gaze is on the screen in front of us. Roughly ten minutes pass and I'm really getting restless.
Shutting my eyes hard, I hold my breath as my mind tells me, just do it.
I rip my eyes open and put my feet down as I shift my body towards Blake. He notices the change in movement and finally takes a glance at me. But before he could say anything, I move closer to place my hands on his shoulders and slide onto his lap with ease. His breathing hitches ever so slightly, but I notice it. I've never been the one initiating physical touch between us, so he must be surprised. My mind races when I see his flustered face, eyes wide and focused on me. Me only. Good.
Blake opens his mouth to say something, but I take that chance to crash my lips into his. Our tongues clash, instantly intertwining with each other. Wet, slimy and hot. A weird tingling sensation rose up my chest, craving the taste of him. I couldn't see Blake's reaction since I shut my eyes before I even slammed my lips against his, but he isn't stopping. On the contrary, it feels like he took full control, exploring my mouth, leaving me breathless while I follow his lead. I continue to gasp for air under his wrath as I feel his hand on my waist and the other firmly pressed to my face. Blake holds me gently. He always does. I love it. My body quivers under his touch as he bites the bottom of my lips, breaking the kiss.
Once we're apart, our heated gazes meet. Unable to turn away, we just looked each other in the eyes, filled with lust and something softer, panting for air. I want more. But before I could do anything else, I suddenly felt a soft touch creeping up my chest. I flinch and find Blake's hand under my shirt. His hands are bigger and rougher than mine. Despite the heat we just exchanged, his hands are cold, but it doesn't bother me. A tiny whimper escapes my lips as he passes over my nipple, feeling overly sensitive everywhere he's touching me. While his hand continues to explore my chest, he leans closer and leaves a flurry of kisses. First on the corner of my lips, next on my jaw and then my neck, trailing down my Adam's apple. I shudder beneath each peck, biting my lips, embarrassed to let out another whimper.
"Blake…" I whisper under my breath with my eyes closed. God, this feels good. He feels good.
All of a sudden, his movements come to a halt. Confused, I open my eyes, but he won't look at me. My heart nearly falls.
"Is something wrong?" I ask, tilting my head to get a better look at his face.
He finally looks up at me, eyes wider than I've ever seen before. But they're immediately replaced by a warm smile as he takes my hand and kisses it.
"That's enough for today. I should probably go. It's getting late." Blake says, getting up as he takes me off his lap. I scramble off the couch, following right after him.
No! I don't want him to leave…
Did I do something wrong? I'm pretty sure he was into it. Or is it…
"Do you not want to do it with me?" I say, my voice hoarse, trying my hardest not to spill any tears.
"What?" Blake asks, his tone almost offended.
I keep my eyes on the floor. I can't look at him at this moment, because if I do, I might burst out crying.
"Why don't you want to sleep with me? Am I not enough for you?" I manage to say with a heavy lump in my throat.
"What!? No, of course not!" Blake grabs me by my shoulders, forcing my eyes to spring up to look at him.
I let out a shaky breath at the sight of him. His eyes are soft and kind, looking at me full of love. Like they always do. The visible worry is drawn all across his forehead. I'm almost mad at myself for making him do that expression.
"Oh, Charlie. I'm sorry I made you feel that way." he wipes the stray tears off my face with his thumbs. I hold onto him, nuzzling my face into his shirt.
"Then why did you stop?"
"Because," Blake reaches for my chin as he lifts it. "I didn't want to move too fast and scare you. This is your first relationship. Not to mention your first relationship with a man. I wanted to take it slow, ease you into it. It's important for me that you feel comfortable around me."
I blink, my heart pounding so hard that it might as well jump out of my rib cage.
"But I want to do it with you. It's true that I don't have any experience, unlike you. But I'm not some kid, Blake. I'm a grown adult. Don't treat me like I'm delicate or fragile." I croak out.
"I didn't mean to come off like that. I'm sorry."
I shake my head. "I know you didn't mean to. It just seemed like it to me."
For a moment we stay like that in silence, listening to each other's heartbeat. My tears have stopped, feeling the warmth of his embrace as he strokes my hair.
Then Blake reaches for my hand once again and kisses it. "Then, shall we head to bed?"
My knees almost give out as he asks that and I just nod.
I'm dragged across the room without further hesitation. Just a moment ago I was standing in the living room in my boyfriend's arms. Now I'm here lying on my bed while he's on top of me, staring down at me. His eyes focused on my body, the tenderness from earlier gone and now replaced with desire as he strokes my face. His fingers trail down my neck painfully slow, as if the area he's touching burns with igniting passion.
While Blake continues from where he left off, caressing my chest with his hand, I'm struggling so hard to not look nervous and clueless. My mind is blank and I don't know what to do. I'm left trembling beneath him as he hovers above me, giving me kisses all over my skin.
"Relax, Charlie. Let me handle everything."
My heartbeat rises again and so does the shuddering feeling of a mix of excitement and lust in my guts, shooting down to my crotch. I do what Blake said and try to relax as I take shallow breaths every time his lips touch my skin.
"Take your shirt off for me," Blake whispers after he leaves a last peck on my cheek. I prop myself up and raise my shirt over my head, only for it to get stuck on one of my arms. Trying not to look like an idiot, I yank it off my head with more force than necessary. I'm moving too far ahead and also unbuckle my pants and toss them away once they're off. Yet my boxers are still on. I can't bring myself to take them off.
But I don't need to. Blake reaches for my boxers, slipping them off. I'm completely naked with my erect cock out in the open. The throbbing of my cock only increases knowing Blake is staring at it with his eyes wide open.
After a beat, Blake takes his clothes off, slow and deliberate.
And oh my god! He's hot! I always knew Blake had a great body, but seeing it now, his pecs and defined abs, it's impossible to look away. My eyes trail lower and, shit.
What is that? I can see the outline of his cock through his boxers and he's huge! And here I was proud of my size. His looks like it's about to burst out of his boxers.
"Crap," Blake hisses, making my attention down there move up to his face.
"What's wrong?"
"I don't have any lube," he huffs out, obvious distress lingering in his voice. I follow his eyes, looking behind me. He's eyeing the lotion bottle on my nightstand.
Blake groans. "We shouldn't really use anything other than lube, but I'm desperate here, and I don't think I can hold back."
Oo…kayy. I don't know why, but seeing Blake all stressed out like this turns me on for some reason. I mean, I'm fine with using lotion, I guess. But then I suddenly remember, "I have some."
Blake's eyes fall on me. "You do?"
"Yeah, it should be in the bathroom."
With no time to lose, Blake hurries out of the room. I usually don't carry lube in my apartment, but after a lot of research, I figured out that lube is an important part of gay sex. Thank you, BL Mangas! They're saving my ass quite literally!
Blake comes rushing back with the bottle of lube in his hand a minute later. He climbs back on the bed, kneeling between me.
"Spread your legs," he demands.
I never opened my legs up as fast as I did after hearing those words. A smirk appears on his face and it's starting to get real hot in here. Blake opens the bottle, squirting a large amount between the crack of my ass. The sudden cold down there makes me shiver, my toes curling up. It's a weird sensation, but not unpleasant. But what came next could have never prepared me in a lifetime.
Blake pulls my ass cheeks apart with one hand and if that isn't already enough, he sticks a finger in my hole. I hold my breath, my body locking up at the intrusion.
"You okay, baby?"
I croak out. "Yeah." I'm okay. Nothing hurts. Yet. It just burns.
"Good," Blake murmurs, adding another finger as soon as I adjust. "Just relax for me. I'll take care of you."
He works me open and I lay there, not wanting to breathe too hard, but I can literally feel my hole clenching around his fingers. When I think I finally get used to the constant pressure, Blake adds a third finger. My stomach coils, but the feeling only intensifies as he shifts his angle, reaching even deeper than I imagined. A sharp gasp escapes before I can stop it.
"Found it." Blake licks his lips, fingers still prodding inside me.
I blink, my voice hoarse. "Found what…?"
"The spot that makes you feel good, baby."