Villa
"Buy osmanthus wine and sail together—
Alas, old friend has grown into a ball!"
"Ei (×) — Round Thunder (✓)"
"Divine pet training diary!"
Watching the barrage of highlighted comments, Luo Chen laughed until he nearly choked.
These viewers really knew how to twist the knife.
Poor Ei.
But since we can't let Ei suffer alone…
Time to drag the fox in too.
He cleared his throat.
"Alright. That concludes Beelzebul's unofficial evaluation."
"Next up—Raiden's familiar."
"Yae Miko."
Tenshukaku
Ei visibly relaxed.
Her torture was finally over.
Then she remembered—
It was Miko's turn now.
Her eyes lit up.
"Miko~ It's your turn."
The fox's smile stiffened.
…Bad.
She'd been laughing too happily.
How could she forget this was coming?
Given the way Ei had just been treated…
An ominous feeling crept up her spine.
Surely they wouldn't…
Ei folded her arms, smug.
Oh, she was absolutely watching this carefully.
Lumine and Paimon leaned forward in excitement.
Live melon.
Front-row seats.
Peak entertainment.
Villa
Luo Chen grinned.
"Unofficial Evaluation Item One—"
"'Scummy.'"
"The fox."
"In previous reviews, we've already touched on this."
"In fact, she and Lumine were once crowned Teyvat's two scummiest beings."
"Scummy Lumine."
"Scummy Fox."
"But their styles differ."
"Lumine's scummy energy tends to self-sabotage."
"For example—'I am Kamisato Ayaka's dog.'"
"But Yae Miko?"
"She specializes in toying with others."
"And if that wasn't clear before—let's examine a few examples."
Example 1: Deducting the Traveler's Manuscript Fees
"In the original future timeline, Lumine and Paimon helped Yae Publishing House by writing a novel."
"The Traveler's Marvelous Adventures."
"It sold very well."
"Good royalties."
"Later, Miko lured them into treating her to dinner."
"They agreed."
"But she ordered only the most expensive items."
"Rare fish from Seirai Island."
"Fine wine she wouldn't normally splurge on."
"And when asked if she feared the bill—"
"She smiled and said the manuscript fees were still plentiful."
"Only then did Lumine and Paimon realize."
"The fox's true goal had always been their royalties."
Tenshukaku
"…What?"
"Using our royalties to treat you?"
"And the most expensive dishes?!"
Lumine stared at Miko in disbelief.
She'd been peacefully eating popcorn—
Now she was the popcorn.
"We invited you sincerely!"
Paimon crossed her arms.
"You're just like Zhongli!"
Miko waved gently.
"Oh my~ You misunderstand."
"On this continent, how many can claim the Traveler treated them to dinner?"
"Archons like Barbatos and Morax, perhaps."
"For someone as insignificant as me, shouldn't I order appropriately?"
"And besides—friends treat each other, no?"
Lumine and Paimon:
"…."
They knew it was sophistry.
They just couldn't dismantle it.
Fine.
But this timeline?
They were watching the royalties like hawks.
Example 2: The Arataki Itto Incident
"On payday, Arataki Itto went to a food stall."
"He found his seat occupied."
"By Yae Miko."
"An argument escalated."
"They agreed on a contest."
"One chooses the format."
"The other chooses the dish."
"Itto chose an eating contest."
"Miko chose Fox Ramen."
"Problem?"
"It contains fried tofu."
"And Itto is allergic to beans."
"He won."
"But he also lost."
"He spent over a month bedridden."
[Extraordinary Chat Group]
Barbara: She knew about his allergy, right?
Ganyu: Remove the 'right.'
Lumine: Yep. That's Miko. (doge)
Itto: So what if I'm allergic?! I won against that fox woman! (proud.jpg)
Kuki Shinobu: Boss… you realize she didn't care about winning. She just wanted you bedridden. (facepalm)
Itto: What?!
Yae Miko: Oh dear, how could you suspect me of such cruelty~?
Sara: Questionable methods. Effective result. Inazuma was peaceful for a month.
Itto: Hey, Tengu! You calling me noisy?!
Example 3: Miss Hina
Luo Chen continued.
"This one."
"Exceeds the others."
"Miss Hina."
"In Inazuma, she's as famous as Barbara in Mondstadt."
"In Yae Publishing's 'Idle Affairs Monthly,' readers write letters seeking advice."
"The responses?"
"From none other than the Watatsumi General—Gorou."
"Kind."
"Gentle."
"Empathetic."
"Readers adored him."
"So what did Miko do?"
"She changed the signature."
"From 'Gorou'…"
"To 'Hina.'"
"Names and gender concealed."
"Readers imagined a gentle big sister."
"Thus—Miss Hina was born."
"She gained a fan club."
"Promotional flyers."
'Teyvat's Strongest Big Sister
Gentle and Beautiful
Always Answers Your Worries'
"And then—"
"In the original timeline…"
"Miko revealed Miss Hina's official image."
"Not Gorou."
"But Gorou."
"In women's clothing."
Two images flashed on-screen.
Gorou.
And Gorou in elegant feminine attire.
Silence.
Then—
Collective inhalation.
This wasn't scummy.
This was transcendent.
You took a male general—
Rebranded him—
Created a national big sister idol—
And only later revealed the truth.
Genius.
Or catastrophic.
[Ordinary Chat Group — Inazuma]
Shinbo: Miss Hina… is a man?!
Hiroshi: Impossible! A man can't be that gentle!
Yuka: I must be dreaming…
Nishiguchi: My dream… shattered…
Other nations laughed mercilessly.
Lawrence: You imagined a big sister before seeing her!
Tian Tiezu: That Guuji is truly something.
Then—
Albert spoke.
Albert: If your faith collapses over this, your will is weak.
Albert: Why can't a man be Miss Hina?
Albert: When will men rise?!
Chat:
"6."
Massive respect.
Unexpected enlightenment.
Arataki Gang Hideout
"…What?"
"Miss Hina… is Gorou?"
Itto's world collapsed.
He remembered using scarce festival funds—
To promote Miss Hina.
He dropped to his knees.
"My moneyyy!"
"My Miss Hinaaa!"
"You damn fox woman!!"
Kuki Shinobu sighed.
This was worse than tofu ramen.
Physical pain heals.
Heartbreak?
Harder.
Sangonomiya Shrine
Gorou stood frozen.
"…I… am Miss Hina?"
He had heard of the name.
Never suspected it was him.
He clenched his fists.
"That fox…!"
Kokomi covered her smile.
She looked at the image again.
Then at Gorou.
Then back.
"Gorou…"
"You actually look quite good like that."
"No wonder Miss Hina is so popular."
"Maybe… you could keep the outfit?"
Gorou:
"???"
Tenshukaku
Ei slowly turned toward Miko.
"…You."
The fox only smiled serenely.
"Creative publishing strategy~"
Lumine whispered to Paimon.
"She really is terrifying."
Paimon nodded gravely.
"This isn't 'scummy.'"
"This is art."
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