Chapter 405: Saiki Kusuo's Godly Logic and the Girl in Blue Who Came and Went
Vi stared, her eyes wide as she tried to connect the dots. The man in front of her, with his calm smile and gentle air, seemed like a completely different person from the terrifyingly powerful figure she'd just witnessed on screen. The disconnect was jarring.
Ren felt her intense gaze and offered a soft smile. "Is there something I can help you two with?"
After a moment of hesitation, Vi finally found her voice. "Is... is that really you?"
Ren's expression flickered with brief surprise before it melted back into a knowing smile. "I see you've finished," he said. "You two certainly seemed to be enjoying the show."
Vi paused, then scratched the back of her head, a sheepish grin spreading across her face. "What can I say? You're full of surprises, little brother! Hahahaha! Hey, speaking of which... how about we make a deal?"
Ren tilted his head, intrigued. "What kind of deal?"
Vi leaned forward, her eyes gleaming with excitement. "Teach me how to fight," she said, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "I want to learn those insane skills you used—the 'Judgment Techniques' and all that."
Ren considered her for a moment, then smiled faintly. "Ah, those techniques require a very specific level of physical conditioning," he explained calmly. "Frankly, your body isn't ready for it yet."
Vi's face fell for a second before her eyes lit up again. "So you're saying... if I get my conditioning up to snuff, you'll teach me?"
"I can," Ren confirmed. "But you have a long way to go. I can put together a training regimen for you by your next visit. I'm a bit pressed for time at the moment."
Hearing this, Vi's expression bloomed into one of pure delight. "Okay! No problem! But it looks like you got a new customer while we were glued to the screen..."
As she spoke, her gaze shifted, landing on a quiet young man with vibrant pink hair and two strange, antenna-like devices clipped to his head. The young man glanced at her impassively before lowering his head to continue spooning dessert into his mouth.
Ren chuckled softly. "That's just how Kusuo is. Speaking of which, what brings you here at this hour? Don't tell me it's for the reason I think it is..."
Saiki Kusuo nodded, his expression unchanging. "It is," he stated flatly, not looking up. "I ran out of coffee jelly, so I came. It seems you participated in a tournament, Mr. Ren. How unfortunate for the other fighters."
"Could you not make me sound like some kind of monster?" Ren sighed, a hint of exasperation in his voice. "I wasn't going to kill anyone. We're all friends off the stage, you know. You're making it sound like a fight to the death."
Saiki Kusuo shook his head slightly. "My memory indicates you had every intention of beating Mr. Raian to death," he corrected without missing a beat. "Though, to be fair, he does have a very punchable face. My point was that they were all fired up for the tournament, only for you to intervene. That is the definition of unlucky."
Over her time here, Lucifer had grown accustomed to the quiet psychic. Though he was a man of few words, speaking only when directly addressed, Ren had told her that Saiki Kusuo was an incredibly powerful esper with a vast array of abilities. He had been one of the shop's earliest customers.
What truly baffled Lucifer, however, was the reason for his infrequent visits. He only ever showed up once a month to buy an entire month's supply of coffee jelly, explaining that he was often too lazy to move and this was simply more convenient. At first, Lucifer had assumed he was preoccupied with some grand, heroic duty, like Saitama. The mundane truth had left her utterly speechless. 'This guy is unbelievable,' she had thought at the time.
"Kusuo has a point," Lucifer chimed in, stretching languidly in her seat. "When Kaolan and the others realized you were participating, the looks on their faces were priceless. A mix of dread and utter resignation. It was quite funny, actually."
Saiki Kusuo merely nodded, continuing to eat his coffee jelly and milk tea.
Lucifer sighed, shaking her head. "Seriously, how does a supposedly normal world produce someone like you? You're a complete anomaly."
Saiki let out a faint sigh of his own.
"If he's an anomaly, then I guess our world has nothing to do with 'ordinary' at all," Vi mused, then glanced toward the windows. "Whoa, is that the sun? Cupcake, we should probably head back."
Caitlyn nodded, her gaze lingering on Ren for a moment with a look that was both sharp and appraising. She placed a gleaming gold coin on the counter.
"You already paid earlier," Ren noted, puzzled.
A small, confident smile touched Caitlyn's lips. "No, that's for the... service fee from before," she said, her tone crisp. "The rest is a down payment. For next time."
After she finished speaking, she lifted her chin, looking for all the world like a proud, victorious rooster.
Ren was taken aback for a second, then he nodded smoothly. "Alright. No problem at all."
"Pfft—Hahahahaha!" Vi burst out laughing. "Let's go, let's go, Caitlyn. I don't think you'll ever win against this scoundrel. But I have to admit, little brother, you really are an interesting man. And for the record, you're the first one to ever catch my interest."
"Oh? It must be very difficult to catch your interest, then."
Both Vi and Caitlyn froze, stunned by his deadpan response. Vi recovered first, a wide grin breaking across her face. "Yeah, it's way too difficult. Don't even think about it, Cait. It's not like we're never coming back."
"But what were you two just talking about?"
"I'll tell you on the way back. What else is in that head of yours besides bad men, food, and movies? Oh, right, and octopuses and bugs."
"Don't mention those disgusting things!" Caitlyn snapped. "You scoundrel! Give us our equipment!"
Ren nodded and handed their gear over to them. The advanced technology of the items even drew a flicker of surprise from Saiki Kusuo, who clearly found the equipment somewhat unexpected.
Caitlyn settled her tall top hat on her head. "You scoundrel," she said with a huff. "I'll be back, but next time, don't you dare—Eh? What are you doing?!"
She was mid-sentence when Ren leaned forward. Before she could react, he reached up and gently pressed down on the crown of her hat, tilting it just so. He stepped back, a faint, amused smile on his face. "There. Now it's straight," he said softly. "A prim and proper officer like yourself should always look her best, shouldn't she, Little Police Officer?"
"Little...!" A faint blush crept up her neck. "Hmph! Vi, we're leaving!"
"Got it, got it," Vi chuckled. "Well then, bye-bye, little brother!"
"You're welcome back anytime, Vi... and Little Police Officer."
Caitlyn, who had just stepped through the glowing doorway, nearly stumbled and fell flat on her face. She whipped around and saw Ren's playful expression, confirming he was thoroughly enjoying teasing her. She opened her mouth to retort, but Vi, grinning mischievously, grabbed her arm and pulled her into the light, and the two of them vanished.
Ren watched them go, smiling and shaking his head.
"It seems your mischievous side has found an excellent new toy," Yuuka Kazami commented quietly from her seat.
Ren glanced at her, and Yuuka immediately fell silent, a flicker of self-awareness in her eyes. She was, after all, a frequent target of his teasing herself. It was probably better not to say anything. Still, as he settled back into his seat, she couldn't help but murmur, "I must say... you must be terribly bored to find entertainment in teasing ordinary people."
"Hmm? Perhaps..." Ren mused, then looked around. "Eh? Why is it so busy today?"
No sooner had the words left his mouth than the doorway flared with light once more. Ren and the others glanced at the sky outside, which was already brightening to a pale blue. It was a strange time for a customer to arrive.
The next moment, the door swung open.
A girl with short, blue hair and a school uniform walked in. Her expression was cold and distant, with a sweep of hair covering one of her eyes. She entered, her gaze slowly panning across the shop and its occupants. Then, she stopped, gave a formal, respectful bow, turned around, pulled the door open again, and walked straight back out.
The remaining patrons of the store were left in a state of stunned silence.
Lucifer blinked, completely bewildered. "What... what was that all about?"
Ren simply raised an eyebrow. "I have no idea."
[Akarin's Note:
Enjoying the story? Dropping a quick review, comment, or Power Stone means the world to me and keeps these daily updates flowing!
Want to read 50 chapters ahead or just want to help keep a shameless translator alive? (My livelihood actually depends on this, haha 😭). You can support me directly here:
(P.S. Just remove the brackets and replace the [.] with a regular dot . to use the links!)
✨ Patreon (50 Advanced Chapters): patreon[.]com/AkarinTL
☕ Ko-fi (Support / Sponsor): ko-fi[.]com/AkarinTL
🔗 All My Links: linktr[.]ee/AkarinTL
Thank you so much for reading and keeping this project alive!]