Or at least, that's what I tried to do.
At first, it was relatively simple. One person, usually Luna or Yu, would ask a question, and I'd walk them through it. Sometimes, Yu didn't even need me, as Remi, who sat next to him, would help in my place.
However, as time passed and they progressed deeper into their studies, the questions multiplied. Despite my efforts, I couldn't be everywhere at once, so Mei had to step in as well.
Eventually, to make things more efficient, we rearranged the seating plan. I sat between Luna and Yu on one side of the table, while Mei sat between Remi and Sora on the other. We decided on this seating because Luna and Yu asked more questions and took longer to teach, and since I wasn't doing anything, it only made sense that I'd take them.
Remi and Sora still asked Mei questions here and there, but at least she wasn't teaching nonstop like during school hours.
I would have preferred if she didn't have to do even that, but there was nothing more I could do.
On the rare moments when I didn't have to teach them, I'd simply relax, resting my head in my arms—which was exactly what I was doing right now. It'd been a while since anyone had asked me or Mei for help.
The room was dead silent, with only the sound of books being flipped, pencils scratching against paper, and erasers crunching against pages to be heard.
The silence stretched until someone raised their hand and asked in a hushed whisper, "Uhh, sorry, but I have absolutely no idea how to do this question."
I lifted my head and turned towards the voice. Remi had her head slightly lowered, as if embarrassed, but that thought vanished when I noticed the troubled expression on her face.
If Remi of all people didn't know where to begin on a question, then it had to be genuinely difficult.
I would've been more than happy to help, but Mei got up from her seat first.
"It's no problem! What do you need help with?"
"This one," Remi replied, pointing to a specific section in her textbook.
Mei's eyes traced through the page—then froze. Her eyes darted back to the beginning and read the question again. She still didn't do anything.
What is she do–
Before I could even finish that thought, Mei's eyes flickered in half a breath. Enough that the others wouldn't have noticed—but I did.
In that one moment, I caught a glimpse of the all-enveloping black in her eyes.
Then—she slowly lifted a hand...
And brought it to her wrist.
***
Mei POV:
…What?
I just finished reading the question Remi had pointed to, and yet… my mind was blank. That's never happened before.
Maybe... I just read it wrong.
I brought my eyes back to the beginning of the question and read through it carefully, not missing a single word. Nothing changed. If anything, I was just more confused.
My heart began to thump in my chest.
Suddenly, the car keys that sat in the pocket of my cardigan went cold, sending a chill that felt like it pierced through my clothes and into my stomach.
I… I don't know how to do this question.
My eyes quickly darted across the room. Everyone, including Remi, was still focused on their own work.
It's fine. I still have time. They haven't noticed anything yet.
I reread the question over and over again, my gaze frantically racing across the page, the words flashing behind my eyelids.
I-it's no use…
No matter how many times I read it or how differently I approached it, the result stayed the same. I didn't even know where to begin.
The sound of pages flipping, the stale air, even the chill in my stomach, all seemed to fade in and out with each beat of my heart.
T-this can't be happening.
What am I going to do if this shows up on the final?
What would Father think if I got a zero on a question?
The world faded back with the subtle shift in movement from the corner of my eye. Remi was slowly turning my way.
My heart stopped, and everything went blank.
She knows…
What am I supposed to say if she asks?
Do I tell her I don't know?
What would she think of me?
What would everyone think of me?
Would I even…
Suddenly, my forehead throbbed, and with it, a faint trace of alcohol drifted along the tip of my nose. Countless memories flashed through my head. With each flash, my head pulsed, the pain growing more unbearable with each one.
The pain grew and grew—until it disappeared. Leaving nothing behind.
...That's right.
It's okay.
Everything is going to be okay.
Slowly, I lifted my hand—
There's nothing to worry about.
I'll figure it out.
I'll find a way.
And brought it to my wrist.
...I always do.
Before my fingers could close around my wrist, someone grabbed my right hand and pulled it away.
Before I could process what was happening, a dismissive, yet sarcastic voice cut through the nothing.
"Damn, how is anyone supposed to do this question?"
The warmth—no, the cold of his hand dragged my mind back to coherence. I slowly turned toward the cold, my breath shallow.
Of course, it was Hoshino, who wore the same unserious grin he always did.
He let go of my hand and asked without looking at me, "So, what about you, Mei? Do you know how to do it?"
He was… giving me an out.
My mouth opened before I could even form the words in my head.
"Me neither," I replied, slightly embarrassed. "I've been reading it for a while now, but I still don't know where to begin."
Remi sank further into her seat with a defeated groan. "What the hell? If the two of you don't know how to do it, then what hope am I supposed to have?!"
"Well, there isn't any for you. But I know you don't want that answer, so get out of the way." Hoshino leaned across the table and grabbed Remi's textbook. I thought she'd lash out at him for taking her things without her permission, but she was so defeated that she didn't even care.
"Well," Hoshino said monotonously as he nudged me with his elbow. "This looks like it'd be fun. Wanna work it out at the student council president's desk?" He paused, then added, "If you want to keep doing your own thing, though, that's fine. I have nothing else to do anyway, so I'll be doing this regardless."
With the way he phrased it, saying yes wouldn't look strange to them. Especially since I was known to be polite.
I softly shook my head. "No, I'll work through it with you. I would have to learn it anyway, so it's better to do it now with someone else than on my own."
Hoshino responded with a quick nod before making his way to the student council president's desk and taking a seat. There was only one chair, so I had to find my own. Maybe if we were alone, he would've grabbed a seat for me or offered me his, but he wouldn't do that for someone he barely knew.
We spent about ten minutes working on the problem. It was a really hard physics question that was clearly above our grade, almost university-level. If I were alone, this would've taken me half an hour at least. But Hoshino provided insights I'd never thought of. And I did the same for him.
When we finished, we put the solution in the center of the desk for everyone to see whenever they wished.
I returned to my seat beside Remi and Sora, and Hoshino went back to his side.
I could finally let out a small, yet deep, shaky breath. Somehow, everything had gone smoothly.
No. It wasn't Fate—or even Luck—that things happened this way.
The rest of the study session passed as it should have, until it was time to go home.
Or at least—that's what was supposed to happen.
Whenever I tried to concentrate on my work, my eyes would find themselves away from the paper and onto… him.
Whenever he'd lift his gaze anywhere near mine, I'd snap my eyes back to my notebook, and my chest would tighten.
My heart thumped in my chest again, though it felt completely different from before.
Why… am I feeling this way?
My grip on my mechanical pencil tightened as I mindlessly wrote the answer to the problem in front of me.
What… is this feeling?
For some reason, I had the urge to look at him again. I tried to ignore it, but the feeling continued to build up until it was a hot, heavy lump lodged in my chest.
Eventually, I gave in, and I slowly lifted my head and stole another glance at him.
He was simply lying on the desk with his eyes closed, completely unbothered. And yet—I couldn't take my eyes off him.
Is this—
Suddenly, the lead of my mechanical pencil snapped. It was a subtle, almost unrecognizable sound. But to me, it was clearer than everything.
All I could do was stare as the two broken pieces rolled across the page of my notebook.