"Click! Click! Click!"
In the deathly silent guild hall, the only sound was the harsh snap of a camera shutter.
Shane was the first to recover.
Moving with lightning speed, he rushed to the bar, yanked open a drawer, and pulled out a camera.
The flash went off like a machine gun, wildly strobing as he perfectly captured the "dressed-up" She-Devil girl's breathtakingly disastrous look from every possible angle.
"This is incredible…"
As he kept pressing the shutter, Shane was laughing like mad inside.
He had no idea what kind of mental state had led Mira to dress herself up like this—
but this precious set of ten images? Unless something catastrophic happened, he fully intended to keep them for at least the next fifty years.
This was blackmail material.
This was leverage.
He was going to hold these photos over Mira's head for the rest of her life.
Meanwhile, the girl at the center of the lens clearly had no idea how serious the situation was.
Faced with the constant flashes, not only was she not flustered in the slightest, she actually took them as proof that her beauty had been acknowledged.
"Hmph hmph~"
Meeting the camera head-on, she lifted her gaze proudly and even started changing poses in sync with the shutter clicks—poses she clearly thought were elegant, but which in reality looked painfully stiff.
After all, in order to get revenge on all those people who'd said she had "less womanly charm than Erza," she had spent the entire night studying makeup and fashion!
Since this was her proud masterpiece of vengeance, how could she possibly be worried about leaving behind photographic evidence?
If anything, she thought Shane hadn't taken enough pictures—he should've printed them out and plastered them all over the guild walls.
"Sh-Shane…"
From the crowd, Lisanna and Elfman had already covered their eyes in pain, unable to keep looking.
They could practically imagine it already:
one day in the future, their older sister would suddenly come to her senses, her sense of beauty restored to normal, and then she'd see these photos.
She would probably be so overcome with shame and rage she'd want to take the whole world down with her.
"We really did try…"
The siblings sighed inwardly and could only pray that, seeing as Mira was still technically half a disciple of his, Shane wouldn't be too cruel and would retain at least a tiny bit of moral restraint.
"Beautiful! Absolutely beautiful!"
At last, after gathering enough material, Shane lowered the camera.
Walking over to Mira, he gave her a sincere thumbs-up, his tone overflowing with a level of amazement she had never heard from him before.
"This kind of… uh… raw, wild, conflicting beauty is practically a miracle nature itself could never produce!"
"It's truly… breathtaking!"
Whether Mira genuinely couldn't hear the sarcasm laced through his words, or whether she was simply too confident in herself—
either way, she nodded in satisfaction and replied as though it were the most natural thing in the world,
"Well, of course!"
Pff…
A few muffled leaks of laughter escaped from the crowd.
Everyone was desperately holding it in. Their shoulders were shaking violently, their faces red as liver, but nobody wanted to be the first person to actually burst out laughing.
Privately, though, they had all already decided that later, they absolutely had to get Shane to make copies of those pictures.
This kind of joy had to be shared.
Only Erza—
the last remaining conscience in the guild—
kept staring at Mira for a long time, her brow furrowing tighter and tighter, until finally she couldn't hold back anymore.
"Um… Mira."
The red-haired girl hesitated, then decided to be honest.
"I don't really understand fashion, but… isn't your outfit a little strange?"
"Strange?"
Mira froze.
Her first instinct was to argue that Erza was just jealous of her beauty.
But then she thought again. For all how annoying Erza was, she had always been rigidly serious and never the type to lie just to put someone down.
If even she thought it looked strange…
Mira's proudly lifted chin slowly lowered.
And when she raised her head again and truly looked at the expressions around her, she finally realized something was wrong.
Those weren't looks of stunned admiration.
They were twisted, desperate expressions from people trying their absolute hardest not to laugh.
"You all… what kind of faces are those?"
Her voice started trembling. Deep down, she already knew something was terribly wrong, but she still refused to face it.
"PWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
That question was like a match dropped into a powder keg.
Everyone completely lost it. The resulting explosion of laughter practically blew the roof off the guild.
"I can't do it anymore! It's too much! Hahahaha!"
Gray was pounding the floor, laughing so hard tears were flying out of his eyes.
"What is with that lipstick?! Did you just finish eating a child?!"
"And that choker with a white dress… what kind of style is that supposed to be? Punk nun? Hahahahaha!"
Even Ur had both hands over her stomach, laughing so hard she was sprawled over the table without a shred of dignity left.
"Sorry, sorry… it's just… way too much!"
"This…"
Mira finally understood.
Her face instantly cycled through every color possible—green, white, and finally a deep red so intense it looked like it might drip blood.
"!!!"
Grinding her teeth, she shot one vicious glare at Shane, who was still grinning like a bastard.
Before anyone could react, she spun around and, just like yesterday, blasted out of the guild in a cloud of dust.
"I don't believe it! Their taste must just be terrible!!"
Even once she'd stormed outside and the cold wind hit her in the face, Mira still refused to give up.
She grabbed a little kid who was playing in the snow by the roadside and forced a "kind" smile onto her face.
"Hey there, little boy. Do I look pretty?"
The child looked up at her blankly.
What he saw was a pale white face, a blood-red mouth, and an expression that looked like she was about to eat him.
"WAAAHHH—!! A monster!!"
"Mommy! There's a people-eating monster here!!"
"..."
Watching the terrified child flee sobbing and stumbling away, the silver-haired girl shattered completely.
"It's the dress! This is all the dress's fault!!"
In absolute despair, Mira grabbed the long skirt she was wearing and ripped it apart in one violent motion.
Riiip—
The white fabric tore apart and fluttered down in the cold wind—
revealing her long legs and… those familiar hot pants underneath.
So in the end, she hadn't even taken off her original clothes. She'd just forcibly stuffed the dress over that skeleton-themed delinquent outfit.
No wonder the absurd choker had still been there the whole time.
"This stupid thing got me laughed at!"
"I'm never wearing a dress again!!"
She dumped all the blame onto the poor innocent dress, without ever considering that the real culprits were her terrifying makeup skills and hideous mismatch of styles.
…
Meanwhile, back in the guild hall—
"Shane! Shane! Give me a copy of Mira's picture!"
"Me too! Me too! That expression was legendary!"
"This is a once-in-a-lifetime black history for the She-Devil! It has incredible commemorative value!"
Once everyone had laughed enough to breathe again, they all crowded around, eyes glowing green as they stared at the camera in Shane's hands.
"Get lost! Nobody gets a copy!"
Clutching the camera to his chest like Erza had protected the magazine yesterday, Shane looked around with full suspicion.
What kind of joke was this? Strategic-grade blackmail material like this only had value if as few people as possible controlled it!
If everybody had a copy, how was he supposed to keep his rebellious disciple under control?
"One million J."
At that moment, a voice drifted out quietly from behind him.
"One million what?"
Shane blinked and turned around.
There stood Makarov with his hands behind his back, looking deeply composed. He raised one finger and pointed at the camera in Shane's arms.
"The camera."
"It belongs to the guild. If you want to take the photos inside with you, fine."
The old man gave him a smile like a crooked merchant.
"The camera and the film together—one million J."
"Why don't you just go rob someone?!"
Shane's eyes bulged. He nearly jumped on the spot.
"This crappy camera is worth twenty thousand at most!"
"Isn't that exactly what I'm doing right now?"
Makarov replied in the most righteous tone imaginable, his grin widening.
This brat had buried him under who knew how many bills recently, and then yesterday he had the nerve to announce that the S-Class exam would take place in a city.
If the old man didn't squeeze him dry at a moment like this, there was no way he'd be able to let off steam.
"Tch…"
Looking at the smug, completely self-satisfied guild master, Shane suddenly fell silent.
Makarov, already convinced Shane was about to obediently cough up the money, looked even more satisfied.
Then—
"I see."
Shane nodded thoughtfully, a look of sudden enlightenment spreading over his face.
"So that's how it is…"
"You can just rob people directly."
"Nani?" Makarov froze.
Before he could even process what was happening—
"Later!"
Shane grabbed Erza beside him in one motion, greased his feet, and bolted straight for the guild doors.
"Since the Master himself said so…"
"Then I'm just going to rob you for the camera directly!!"
"See you!!"
Before the words had even finished, the two of them were already gone through the doorway.
Just before vanishing, Shane even turned back and waved the camera triumphantly at the dumbstruck Makarov.
"Thanks, Master! I just learned a new move!"
"You… you little bastard!!"
By the time Makarov snapped out of it and ran to the guild entrance, all he could do was shout furiously at the empty street.
…
"Whew…"
By the time they had sprinted all the way home—
"Experience really does matter."
Fiddling with the camera in his hand, Shane couldn't help sighing.
"As expected of an old veteran. There's a lot worth learning from that kind of accumulated life experience."
"Um…"
Looking at how pleased Shane seemed with himself, Erza hesitated before speaking.
"Shane… was it really okay for us to just steal the guild's camera like that?"
"And those photos of Mira too…"
She still had the feeling that it was all a bit too much, like bullying.
"Relax, relax. I'll return the camera later. I'm just keeping the film."
Shane waved a hand and, with no guilt whatsoever, popped the film roll out and tucked it away.
"And besides, Mira willingly posed for those. I didn't force her. These are art. We should learn to appreciate art."
Just then—
Knock, knock, knock.
A neat, rhythmic knocking suddenly came from the front door.
"Who's that?"
Shane froze mid-motion, his eyes narrowing slightly.
The lazy old man hadn't chased them out of the guild earlier, so there was no way he'd make the effort to come all the way here now just to settle accounts.
And as for Mira?
With the state she was currently in, she'd have just kicked the door off its hinges. No way would she knock this politely.
If those two possibilities were ruled out…
then Shane already had a guess.
He shot Erza a look, then walked over to the entryway and pulled the door open.
Click.
The door swung open.
And there, standing outside in the snow and wind, was exactly the familiar figure he had expected.
Black hair like a waterfall, delicate features, and an aura that made strangers instinctively keep their distance.
It was Ultear—the very same Ultear who had cut off communication yesterday.
~~~
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