The ride to the Mathers domain was quiet.
Not awkward quiet.
Not peaceful quiet.
The kind of quiet that happens after almost getting disemboweled by a smiling psychopath.
A carriage rolled steadily along the forest road while moonlight spilled across the trees in pale silver streaks. The wheels rattled softly over stone.
And I sat there trying not to have a stress-induced factory reset.
Across from me, Emilia sat elegantly with her hands folded in her lap.
Puck floated beside her half-asleep.
Reinhard sat near the front, calm as ever, somehow radiating "nothing bad has ever happened near me because I personally intimidate fate."
Meanwhile—
I was sweating.
Because my brain had finally processed something horrifying:
I was going to the mansion.
The mansion.
Roswaal's mansion.
AKA:
Murder Mansion Simulator Arc.
Subaru died here multiple times.
Knife maids.
Curse dog.
Sleep deaths.
Morning deaths.
Mystery deaths.
Trauma DLC.
And me?
I don't even have checkpoints.
I stared out the carriage window dramatically.
"I survived Elsa just to walk willingly into the next death zone..."
Puck cracked one eye open.
"You've been muttering to yourself for ten minutes."
"I am processing emotionally."
"Poorly."
"Correct."
Emilia looked toward me with concern.
"You really don't need to be so nervous."
I laughed.
It came out broken.
"Haha. Yeah. Totally."
I am entering a location statistically proven to be lethal to protagonists.
The carriage finally slowed.
Tall iron gates stood ahead, opening smoothly as servants stepped aside.
And beyond them—
The mansion appeared.
Massive.
Elegant.
Brightly lit against the night sky.
A giant noble estate surrounded by gardens and perfectly trimmed hedges.
It looked less like a home and more like a place where rich people held meetings about wine quality and secret assassinations.
"Yep," I thought. "Definitely haunted by plot progression."
The carriage stopped.
A servant opened the door.
Emilia stepped out first.
I followed carefully—
And immediately almost tripped on the step.
Recovered.
Pretended nothing happened.
Reinhard definitely noticed.
Puck definitely judged me.
Inside, the mansion was absurdly luxurious.
Crystal chandeliers.
Polished floors.
Paintings probably worth more than my entire old life.
Everything smelled clean.
Expensive.
Dangerously rich.
And somewhere inside this mansion—
Two maids existed.
One kind.
One terrifying.
Both terrifying, actually.
A servant guided me upstairs to a guest room while Emilia handled formalities.
The room itself looked unreal.
Huge bed.
Velvet curtains.
Fireplace.
Fresh clothes laid neatly nearby.
I stared at the mattress like it had personally insulted me.
"Subaru suffered in this mansion."
"I am about to sleep here voluntarily."
"This is either confidence or terminal stupidity."
Probably both.
I sat carefully on the edge of the bed.
Then immediately faceplanted backward into the mattress.
Soft.
Warm.
Dangerously comfortable.
And after surviving Elsa?
My body betrayed me instantly.
Darkness swallowed me whole.
Morning arrived with sunlight spilling through the curtains.
For one beautiful moment—
I forgot where I was.
Then memory loaded.
And my soul attempted to uninstall itself.
"Right."
"Murder Mansion."
I sat upright immediately.
Still alive.
Good start.
No mysterious death overnight.
Excellent.
No chains.
No blood.
No Rem standing over me with a flail.
Phenomenal progress.
A knock came at the door.
I froze.
"Oh no."
The door opened.
Two maids stepped inside with synchronized precision.
One had short blue hair and calm blue eyes.
The other had pink hair and the expression of someone permanently unimpressed by reality.
Rem and Ram.
My survival instincts activated so hard they nearly achieved sentience.
"ACT NATURAL."
Rem bowed politely.
"Good morning, guest-sama."
Cold.
Professional.
Neutral.
Not murderous.
Which honestly made sense.
No Witch's Scent.
No immediate suspicion.
To her, I was just some weird nervous guy Emilia brought home.
Thank every god in existence.
Ram glanced at me once.
"...You look tired."
"Thank you," I said automatically.
She blinked slowly.
"That wasn't a compliment."
"I know."
Rem stepped closer holding folded clothes.
"Lady Emilia requested we prepare you for breakfast."
Her tone remained polite.
But distant.
No warmth.
No hostility.
Just professional maid energy.
Honestly?
Best-case scenario.
Because Subaru's first route involved Rem mentally categorizing him as:
Potential Cultist = Kill Later.
Meanwhile I had apparently unlocked:
Weird Guest Classification.
Far safer.
Rem tilted her head slightly.
"You seem nervous around us."
I answered instantly.
"I value my organs."
Silence.
Ram looked mildly concerned.
Rem blinked twice.
Puck, who had floated into the room through the window somehow, immediately started laughing.
"I like him more every hour."
I pointed at him accusingly.
"You know things."
"I know you're funny."
"That is not reassuring."
Ram sighed softly.
"Barusu-level strange."
I froze.
"DID SHE JUST INVENT BARUSU EARLY?"
Dangerous foreshadowing.
After changing clothes, I followed the maids downstairs toward breakfast.
Every hallway in the mansion felt unnaturally pristine.
Like rich people paid extra to remove dust particles from reality itself.
Then we entered the dining hall.
And there he was.
Roswaal L. Mathers
Sitting elegantly at the table with one leg crossed over the other.
Clown makeup.
Heterochromatic eyes.
The aura of a man who absolutely knew more than everyone else in the room.
Which was terrifying because he actually did.
"Ah yes," I thought. "The strongest theater kid in Lugunica."
Roswaal smiled the moment I entered.
"Ohohohoho... so this is Emilia-sama's mysterious prophet."
My spine tightened instantly.
Danger.
Massive danger.
Because unlike most people—
Roswaal was smart enough to be scary.
Emilia sat nearby and waved gently.
"Good morning."
I sat carefully.
Very carefully.
Like the chair might explode if I offended the plot.
Roswaal rested his chin against his hand.
"I hear you predicted the events at the loot house perfectlyyy."
His tone dragged lazily at the end.
But his eyes?
Sharp.
Observing.
Calculating.
"Okay," I thought. "This conversation determines whether I live comfortably or become clown experiment material."
Time to deploy:
Bullsh*t Foresight.
I coughed dramatically.
"My visions are unreliable but accurate."
Ram whispered quietly:
"That sentence makes no sense."
"Thank you."
Roswaal chuckled softly.
"And what do these 'visions' tell you noooow?"
Careful.
Very careful.
Subaru made one huge mistake here:
He became a butler.
Meaning:
Exhaustion.
Stress.
No awareness.
Vulnerability.
And eventually—
Death.
Multiple deaths.
I refused.
Absolutely refused.
So instead—
I leaned forward slightly.
"I want two things."
Roswaal's smile widened.
"Oh?"
"First," I said, raising one finger, "guest status."
Ram blinked.
Rem looked surprised.
Emilia tilted her head curiously.
Roswaal tapped the table lightly.
"And the second?"
I pointed dramatically toward him.
"I want magic lessons."
Silence.
Even Puck looked interested now.
Roswaal's smile sharpened.
"That isss... unexpected."
Good.
Unexpected meant interesting.
Interesting meant alive.
I folded my arms like I absolutely knew what I was doing.
"My visions show a magical threat approaching in the future."
Technically true.
Everything in Re:Zero was a magical threat.
"So if I want to help anyone," I continued, "I need to understand mana properly."
Roswaal stared at me for several seconds.
Long enough for me to start mentally preparing a backup escape route.
Then—
He laughed.
Loudly.
Wildly amused.
"Ohohohohoho! Fascinating!"
Puck floated closer.
"You believe him?"
Roswaal smirked.
"He accurately described events he should not have known about."
...Fair point honestly.
Emilia looked hopeful.
"If he can learn magic safely, I think that's a good idea."
Rem remained silent.
Still cautious.
Still distant.
But importantly—
Not murderous.
Roswaal finally leaned back in his chair.
"Very well."
My brain stopped.
Wait.
That worked?
"You may remain as a guest of the mansionnn..."
He smiled wider.
"And I shall personally oversee your magical education."
OH THANK GOD.
No butler route.
No exhaustion route.
No collapsing-from-overwork route.
I internally celebrated so hard my soul hit a backflip.
Breakfast passed surprisingly peacefully after that.
Mostly because I spent half of it avoiding eye contact with Roswaal.
The man smiled too much.
Afterward, Roswaal led me toward a quiet magic study room deeper in the mansion.
Shelves packed with books lined the walls.
Mana crystals glowed softly around the room.
The air itself felt heavy somehow.
Roswaal gestured toward the center.
"Now thennn... let us examine your Gate."
"Please don't explode."
I sat carefully while Roswaal placed a hand near my chest.
Mana stirred faintly inside me.
Weird.
Cold.
Like liquid static moving through invisible veins.
Roswaal's expression shifted slightly.
"Hmmm."
Not bad hmmm.
Not good hmmm.
Dangerous wizard hmmm.
I swallowed.
"...Am I dying?"
"Noooo."
Pause.
"...Probably."
"THAT'S A TERRIBLE ANSWER."
He laughed again.
"Your affinity appears to be Yin magic."
Ah.
Same as Subaru.
Makes sense honestly.
Depression element.
Roswaal continued examining my mana flow carefully.
Then his expression sharpened.
"You have been unconsciously forcing mana circulation."
I froze.
"WAIT."
Subaru shattered his Gate later because he forced mana incorrectly.
Puck's rushed methods didn't help either.
Roswaal noticed immediately.
"If you continued this recklessly, your Gate would eventually break."
Cold sweat instantly formed down my back.
"I ALMOST SPEEDRAN ORGAN FAILURE."
Roswaal tapped my forehead lightly.
"Fortunatelyyy... you sought proper instruction first."
For the next several hours, Roswaal taught me the basics.
Breathing patterns.
Mana circulation.
How to open and close the Gate safely.
How to regulate flow without damaging myself.
Every lesson felt less like learning magic and more like trying to safely handle radioactive soup.
Still—
It worked.
Slowly.
Carefully.
For the first time since arriving in this world—
I wasn't blindly improvising.
I was actually preparing.
Roswaal eventually stepped back with satisfied amusement.
"You learn quicklyyy."
"I learn fearfully," I corrected.
"Fear is an excellent teacher."
Honestly?
Fair.
By the end of the session, I could faintly feel mana responding without my chest imploding.
Massive improvement.
Tiny progress.
But real progress.
And most importantly—
No shattered Gate.
No self-inflicted magical stupidity.
As evening approached, I stood alone near one of the mansion windows overlooking the gardens.
The sunset painted the sky orange and gold.
Quiet.
Peaceful.
Almost normal.
Behind me, I heard soft footsteps.
Rem.
She stopped nearby holding fresh towels.
For a moment neither of us spoke.
Then quietly—
"You seem different from what I expected."
I glanced toward her carefully.
"...Good different or bad different?"
She thought about it.
"...Cowardly."
I nodded immediately.
"Correct."
A tiny pause.
Then—
"...But not dangerous."
That one hit harder than expected.
Because in this mansion?
That mattered.
A lot.
Rem walked away after that, still calm and unreadable.
But as I watched her leave—
I realized something important.
The mansion route had already changed.
No Witch's Scent.
No servant exhaustion.
No paranoia spiraling out of control.
No broken Gate.
For once—
Things were actually improving.
Which in Re:Zero terms?
Felt deeply suspicious.
I looked out at the darkening forest beyond the mansion grounds.
And somewhere out there—
Arc 2 was already moving.
The curse.
The mabeasts.
The deaths Subaru suffered to solve the mystery.
Except this time—
There were no loops.
No retries.
No Return by Death.
Just me.
A fake prophet with anxiety problems learning magic from the kingdom's most suspicious clown.
I sighed deeply.
"Okay."
"One crisis at a time."
Then I immediately added:
"And avoid all suspicious dogs."