'Time stopped when we met. I didn't have it in mind, or maybe I did; I only avoided it. I knew I had to wake up. Not for nothing did he put effort into our fight, one like that... why take it to the extreme?'
Only his capacity to lead his own subordinates was necessary. Kalika had in mind that once confronted, she would have to put on a brake because Heiss wouldn't be able to give her such a rigorous challenge.
And above all, she couldn't have been more wrong; she admitted the fault was also hers for not stopping.
'Look at me using the Void...'
With everything, she lost in a resounding way. Adding to that, she couldn't use her absolute defense ability, not at the perfect level she practiced with her subordinates or agents of the Tanaka family itself. This level is so high that it nullified her technique; she could only deflect, and with great difficulty.
She woke up after 3 weeks of being unconscious; in that time, if she had been absent longer, simply many of her preparations would fall without constant updating. The Tanaka family could have also started investigating if she didn't report; therefore, when she woke up, it was a relief for everyone.
Apart from the cut on the leg, she only had certain bruises; that's why everyone worried when she didn't wake up. Only after Caleb communicated with Inquisitor #1 and reported to him was it clarified that it could have been a reaction to the impact of using the Void.
They had little experience and knowledge with the Void, only understood as a state practically unreachable for a mortal.
In theory there's no consequence to employing it; however, this doesn't apply to those who truly and completely control it.
Among that control is the use of the human body itself as a connector; that's where Kalika fails, trying to use it as a weapon. It gives explosive power and fluidity in thoughts and movements; however, integrating everything is like putting the most powerful processor in the world to date and wanting to give it the total amount of information in an entire research server. It simply won't be enough.
Even if you give it "steroids" so it grows and improves, if it isn't capable of efficiently synchronizing the information, it will make the expenses greater and need more resources to be efficient. It may be able to process more information, but if the synchronization isn't adequate, simply many invested resources will be spent.
The analogy goes toward the body; even if Kalika trained to exhaustion, she would last extra time in the fight, merely an improvement, not the solution.
When she woke up and could organize her duties, she went to visit Heiss, who was lodged in a hotel room, comfortable enough to make Rudolf and his companions' surveillance diminish.
To a greater extent, who was worried was Rudolf, who maintained an apparent promise to find something with Heiss. We couldn't investigate, understanding it was a private matter, even when we offered to help.
In the early morning hours I trained hard to recover my condition; in the morning I continued with my obligations while observing the guys' training until hours before lunch, occasionally interacting to guide them in their training.
In the afternoon private classes were given to Heiss's subordinates.
While they could be tense with each other, especially Kalika's subordinates, the attempt was made to remain neutral until their leader woke up.
Besides, Kalika felt that what Heiss did, or the entity that managed him, was for her own good; that's why she couldn't be angry with him or any of his subordinates. With that in mind, they decided to progress according to what they had agreed.
In the nights, whenever she could and there was nobody, she made nightly visits to see how his condition in bed progressed. At first it was difficult for his subordinates to allow her to see him, with the fear that she would eliminate him for what he did in our fight.
But I managed to have them let me visit him at hours I could, with the surveillance of a camera that would watch anyone who made a visit, including them and me.
The hours to see him were complex; there was always someone accompanying him. Very few times was it one of my protégés who cared for him, but there was someone who was always with him whenever possible. And no, it wasn't Jesús; it was my own protégée, Cloe.
At one point I suspected she could be having feelings for him; however, I kept that idea in my subconscious upon seeing her put effort into attending to him.
She cleaned and groomed him superficially; apparently, Heiss's own protégés weren't good at care tasks.
Her diligence surprised me, and I decided not to intervene; after all, feelings are a phase of life. Even if by agreement I would marry him, it didn't mean we were tied by something beyond a promise; there are no feelings or love.
I always had doubts about whether it would be appropriate to think about having a partner who could support me. Although the idea of being vulnerable didn't please me, I always thought there could be a person crazy enough to endure my desire for revenge, my madness, and still want me.
Despite those thoughts, there was always the reason that persisted. It wasn't because I couldn't be with a partner, whether man or woman; I simply didn't have the slightest carnal desire or fondness for anyone; that's just how Kalika is. With everything, there was a burning desire for there to be a person who could endure her, entirely from her desire to form a true family.
Just a dream or idea of truly trusting someone and not through her own manipulations of the person's destiny, as she did with the inquisitors.
Therefore, observing a person who at first she believed was the same being cared for with diligence and supported only by the will to be made her feel something she didn't expect to have in this life.
'Jealousy'
Not in a romantic or toxic way. Jealousy of not being able to achieve something like that with my own charisma; maybe I wasn't anyone's inspiration, or perhaps I didn't fight for anyone but myself.
I could only achieve that level of connection in my dreams; maybe I could emulate something like that with manipulation; however, admiration, fidelity, respect, and idolatry of real conviction are different.
My subordinates have the conviction that I will triumph and rise above my family, but isn't Heiss's fight more important than a stupid revenge? Yes, that's what he said: stupid revenge, just a way of discrediting the fight she had carried all this time, making her feel lesser, a fool.
However, he didn't do it to undermine her efforts; criticism is more important and therefore gives more than just empty words of advice. Sometimes speaking to you strongly and saying it rudely can make you see the web you've woven from the start.
That's why I'm here in the middle of the night, watching him lying in bed, without evidence he'll wake up. I hold a glass of whisky and observe him with a certain bewilderment in my eyes.
Tonight she had hacked the cameras so they couldn't see her for 15 minutes, so... 'why am I here in the first place?'
Did I want to be alone with him to kill him?
No. For a strange reason I had no desire to kill him, only for him to wake up and talk to me, for him to listen to me.
Contrarily, although I already determined we aren't the same, fundamentally we are.
The Void: a suggestion of the use and understanding of everything bad and good, black and white, of the 2 or more sides of the coin.
If it's something that the person was born with , why then, in what we should be so equal in, in eliminating the unnecessary, are we so unequal? He seeks to create relationships, even if they're more a time investment that will provide nothing, whereas I discard them for being an irremediable expenditure of energy and resources.
So what makes him special?
I don't like whisky in the first place. I'm bad with alcohol, not because I can't handle it, but because I'm incapable of appreciating people's tastes.
And here I am, in front of him. Trying to awaken some type of enlightenment, path, and utopia that I couldn't see with my cursed eyes.
"Crsh!"
The glass shatters, and the precious golden liquid with brown tones slides until it falls from the hand that holds it.
A moment later it breaks to pieces.
My hand doesn't stop holding it; in fact, I squeeze it with more force, to the point it shatters and my hand shoots blood in spurts.
"Thump!"
I fall to my knees.
"Why? What is it you see that my eyes can't? What is that reality you speak of? Is there an escape from this curse we're born with? Is there a way to free ourselves from the Void, from the destiny to which we're bound? Tell me, for... please!"
Kalika's eyes, which had a broken crystal reflection, fall in the direction of the bed, where only the chest can be seen rising and falling slowly. Two minutes pass; they leave lucidity to be hollow, more than a metaphor. It was like seeing them soulless. And if one looked more closely, a tear fell from one of her eyes.
After a time, she gets up, brings a towel, and cleans the mess. Once finished, she leaves the room with a bandage on her hand.
When she closes it, without her realizing, Heiss's hands remain tightly clenched, and even at one point one of his joints is heard cracking from the pressure. After an uncertain time, they return to relaxation.
Like this, 2 weeks passed, and we maintained the routine. There were differential progresses in the trainings. On Kalika's part it was difficult to make them have improvements beyond the physical; without enlightenment, they couldn't improve their subconscious states and therefore wouldn't directly understand the essence of a fight, much less of a martial art.
On the other hand, Heiss's subordinates, who hadn't had appropriate training, started showing skills in different areas. Marcus had a gift for martial arts and the essence of fighting. There was a hint of doubt from the fear of death; however, it was mitigated by his desire to surpass himself.
Lucius was quite dedicated; although he wasn't especially talented in fighting, just a bit above average, he was very dedicated. This he demonstrated within his other disciplines, where he stood out: the use of computers and the academic part at the engineering learning level.
A genius in a different field, still, it's not as if he discarded physical training; whenever he could, he asked Ethan to train him on how to improve his use of martial arts, trying to use his own rival's strength.
He also spent his quality time with the little girl Nerisa, playing and educating her in basic things she should have learned for a girl her age in the beginnings of socialization and adaptation in friendly circles of her age, school itself. His companions also helped in that growth; the most cheerful was Jesús, who always tried to cheer the girl up and played with her. Lucius indirectly became a substitute father for the girl, and although there was no formal relationship with her mother, Cataline, her eyes always lit up when Lucius was with her daughter.
Jesús was the older brother, and Marcus was Uncle Marcus.
A family life that came together in a very untimely way, one that put Kalika in constant scrutiny. It was curiosity; their behavior amused her. In Japan, there was a certain discretion and distance in relationships, but it seemed that Colombians, and from what was known, many Latin Americans, these distances and walls of discretion and social distance didn't exist, or maybe they didn't care about them.
Jesús, on the other hand, was a case... strange, even ridiculous, apart from his so "lively" attitude. Occasionally he won with unthinkable strategies against some of his rivals, using his ingenuity; in subjects he was more behind in terms of study than Marcus and Lucius, but he learned through analogies and strange examples, at times even frustrating the teacher with his paradoxical or absurd explanations.
The worst part is he wasn't necessarily wrong; he pulled out solutions from untaught methods, but with very... convoluted? Paths, I didn't know if he did it on purpose or if it was a type of misunderstood talent.
Rudolf was discreet, disciplined, and austere but very gentle, grateful, and friendly with the people around him. Only he demonstrated it more with actions than words. As if deep down he was distracted or focused on a proposed goal.
At this point, I had officially turned 18 years old. I had turned on December 3rd, when the tension had diminished, and everyone threw a party for me.
My subordinates wanted to do something more sober, but Heiss's subordinates didn't allow it. They brought yellow aguardiente and beer, lots of beer. They played vallenato classics to liven up the night, and even taught Emily and Cloe to dance salsa. Ethan and Caleb watched curiously at the extravagant and agile steps.
I didn't dance because I never understood dance nor its purpose; apart from connecting emotionally with your partner, I saw it as nothing more than a dance for attraction prior to mating, like a ritual where you showed your gifts for the female to accept your flirtation.
There may be cultural roots, but in essence many dances, and especially modern ones, focused on that; few maintained the austerity and rigor of ceremonial dance.
That's why I had no faith in Colombian dance. Despite her thoughts and dismissals, she couldn't have been more wrong.
'This... is very fun haha'
I watched how the girls struggled to follow the guys' rhythm, and more than a demonstration of technique, it was a demonstration of intentions that danced in the air; it was joy, joy of being alive. That's what salsa felt like.
The music, the tapping of feet on the floor, and the extraordinary spins raising the arms were a way in which the two connected and enjoyed a synchrony and joy of learning and improvisation.
There may be beauty in some dances for their meaning in postures, ethereal and pristine, showing harmony and neatness, with everything learned in Asian dances, performing arts, and sports like skating. She didn't believe a dance could be unfocused from the two extremes of the scale: either its neatness or its degeneracy toward desire.
This was a new meaning: happiness for life, happiness for found friendships. In one dance, Lucius invited Cataline to dance; she refused at first, and with all the principle of mass, her daughter pushed her so she'd encourage herself to dance with that man. There a new meaning was born, love, one that hid among the choreography, something more than pure desire; it was longing.
That was the best gift they could give me, a totally unknown experience for me.
And so we arrive today, December 6th of 2044.
We finished a morning training. This time, I had crushed and beaten every last strength from my subordinates and the guys who were now the new training companions, her subordinates and now also part of those she had to strengthen, not by promise, no longer for that, but by conviction, conviction in what their leader believed.
Unexpectedly the gazes started to drift toward behind me. At first I thought about turning around, but I looked in the direction of my protégée, of Cloe. There I understood it: his soft footsteps, almost as if making no noise, approaching slowly, in the same way everyone started to open their eyes wide, their faces before downcast showed a certain surprise, expectation above all.
And for the first time I didn't dare to confront what was behind me. I had... fear, fear of what I truly didn't know, of a reality I didn't understand, of a way to free myself from my destiny.
My heart, intention, or whatever reinforces emotions told me to turn around, but my head and reason screamed, said to distrust, that it was dangerous, a risk. It wasn't so much who was approaching, but what taking another step meant.
My body tensed, and when I least expected it, some words were heard.
"...Hi everyone..."
What I believed controllable broke loose, and like an arrow, my entire body moved in reaction, not with full intention, although with years of reflex.
The kick was already in the air. I could only think, 'dodge it', and why wouldn't he? It's more than certain he'd avoid it; he can, he's capable, and he already proved it.
When he dodges, I'll apologize and say it was an involuntary impulse.
Even with such expectations and hopes placed, I failed again. Heiss had taken my kick without moving from his spot, even watching my kick's trajectory.
When I fell and saw him stagger there, I felt my body rise. 'What did I do?!', he's my ally, and I couldn't contain myself from an instinct I got used to.
I didn't know what was going through his head accepting the blow. I couldn't process if it was a strategy or what was going through his mind; it was simply unnecessary, that's why I decided to ask.
"...Why didn't you dodge?"
I felt like I was in a pool of cold water; I could barely pronounce it. How pathetic.
"...Because it was the right thing?"
His response only left me more confused, and with thoughts racing, this was the first time in a very long time I felt shame for my so stupid attitude.
"It's my way of saying sorry for what happened in the last fight"
"...."
There I understood it: looking him in the eyes, he was the first strong person who respected me beyond my own strength; he respected me as an opponent, as a person. That's why he apologized, worrying about my integrity; nothing more than that made me realize what made him special.
It wasn't just his conviction, his beliefs, or his goal; it was his stupid and naive way of being, the being of believing in humanity, the being of having hope in humanity, the being of fighting until the end.
That was everything; it was the very representation of what everyone desires: to be the best of oneself.
Inevitable, whether his actions are abrupt or taken to the limit, he always desired something: the good for everyone.
At that moment I took seriously the decision I had already thought of when I lost against Heiss, and my longing formed into a new star of the Void, taking will toward what I would do with Heiss in the coming months.
My conviction had just taken root.