Jhin racked his brain raw trying to figure it out — why, of all things, had drunk Nijika started calling him husband?
He had honestly thought she was the one remaining member of Kessoku Band who had a perfectly normal relationship with him.
Well. So much for that. Apparently, deep down, she'd been calling him husband all along.
Jhin felt like an ordinary pedestrian who had just been struck square in the head by a lottery ticket falling from the sky — and upon scratching it, discovered he'd won a hundred million yuan. Then he came home to find four otherworldly beauties in different styles of stockings standing in his bedroom, crying out "Dear Hero!" and demanding he marry them all.
The delight in his chest vastly outweighed the alarm.
After all, who wouldn't like the Shimokitazawa Archangel?
Nijika pulled Ryo upright, then yanked Jhin close and tucked him protectively into her arms. "From now on, you only get to kiss him once a week!"
She's still letting her kiss him at all? Nijika, aren't you being a little too lenient with Ryo?
"Once a week is way too few. Five times a week!" Ryo immediately attempted to negotiate.
"In your dreams. Once a week!"
"Then let's meet in the middle — four times a week."
"Dream on. Once a week!"
Ryo winced as though a chunk of flesh had been carved out of her, and held up three fingers in visible agony. "Tsk... you're impossible to deal with. Three times a week."
Nijika didn't even bother continuing the argument. She raised a single unwavering finger. "Once a week. Any more than that and you can forget about it entirely."
"That's not fair. Why do you get to decide? I'm not kissing you."
Nijika let out a cold little snort and pulled a thoroughly world-weary Jhin tighter into her arms. "I dared to call him my husband. Can you say the same?"
Ryo immediately shot both hands straight up in a French military salute. For someone who hadn't hesitated for even a second before kissing Jhin, she turned unexpectedly, bafflingly shy over this particular sticking point — and after a long stretch of incoherent mumbling, she retreated to a corner of the room and began drawing sulky little circles on the floor.
"I can!"
Hitori Gotoh, drunk and utterly fearless, called Jhin husband several times in rapid succession. Nijika suddenly found herself backed into a corner of her own making. Still holding Jhin, she sank into thought.
Bocchi-chan is Jhin's actual girlfriend. If I'm going to marry him, I naturally have to fall in line behind her. By every measure of logic and feeling, she comes before me.
"Alright then — I'll kiss Jhin five times a week, and you can kiss him every day."
With a pained expression, Nijika pushed Jhin away from her chest and toward Hitori Gotoh — only for Hitori to wave a supremely magnanimous hand, radiating the unshakeable composure of a true matriarch.
"There's no need to set limits. I'll kiss him in the morning and you can kiss him at night. No need to count."
"Bocchi-chan, you're so wonderful."
"Nijika..."
"Bocchi-chan..."
The two clasped hands with the teary, soulmate energy of kindred spirits who had finally found each other — and left Jhin standing completely forgotten to the side.
Just as he was quietly preparing to slip away, Kita Ikuyo wrapped her arms around him from behind. Her soft, boneless body pressed against his back like a water serpent, carrying that faint, distinctly girlish fragrance, and her warm, moist breath fell in little waves against his earlobe.
"Jhin... why don't you come encourage me too? You've only been watching Bocchi-chan this whole time."
"I worked really hard during the MV recording too, you know."
"Kita... didn't you say you wanted to keep things at friends for now?"
"Friends... you're right, we should stay friends." Kita Ikuyo murmured wistfully to herself, and her body pulled back just slightly — but in the very next breath, she reversed course entirely. "No — I want to be spoiled by you too! I want you to hold me and pat my head and tell me I did well!"
"Hey, hey — Kita, where exactly are you taking Jhin?" It was only now that Nijika noticed her "husband" was standing in the living room doorway with Kita Ikuyo wrapped around him. "Don't go wandering off with him — he's supposed to be sleeping with me tonight."
Hitori Gotoh promptly corrected her. "Nijika, it should be with all of us."
"Oh, right, sorry — I misspoke."
"I really like Jhin too, so why aren't you bringing me along!" Kita Ikuyo declared her feelings out loud for all to hear. Nijika and Hitori blinked at her for a moment, then broke into giddy, tipsy grins and clapped their hands in welcome as another bedmate officially joined the roster.
Jhin had gone numb. He had completely lost the ability to stop them from running wild in their drunken state. All he could do was hold the line on his very last principle: make absolutely sure they didn't team up tonight and take things by force.
Kita Ikuyo guided him back to the sofa and sat him down. The girls swiftly staked out their territories.
Hitori Gotoh's long pink hair spilled across Jhin's lap. She closed her eyes and luxuriated in her boyfriend's lap pillow, sighing contentedly every time he stroked her head. To Jhin's left, Kita Ikuyo locked both arms around his and pressed close, her fair, slender fingers tracing idle circles on his chest, lips pouting as she complained in a soft voice about just how much it had hurt — every single time — to watch Hitori and Jhin being so affectionate together.
Nijika stood behind the sofa, leaning forward with her arms draped around his neck, her smooth cheek pressed flush against his. She was talking directly into his ear in a tone of absolute conviction: "Jhin, listen — Ryo is the type who'll walk all over you the second you give her an inch. If she sneaks a kiss out of you behind my back, you tell me, and I'm counting it straight toward that once-a-week limit!"
"That's so unfair~" Ryo whined from somewhere nearby, the words full of wounded feeling — but her hands hadn't stopped moving since Jhin sat down. She was settled on his right, letting Hitori Gotoh lie across her lap, and kept picking up snacks, taking one bite, then holding the remainder out for Jhin to finish.
"Ryo, do you still have any of that chocolate left? Give me a piece."
"Here."
Nijika chomped into the chocolate. Her teeth broke through the hard outer shell, and a rush of something sweet and liquid poured down her throat — which did absolutely nothing to help her already-scrambled brain.
"Jhin... hey, Jhin!" Nijika was all but nuzzling into his neck like a predator now. She buried her face against him and inhaled for a long moment, then without any warning at all slipped her hand down into his collar and began searching around inside.
"Let's go take a bath together."
"No." Jhin let her paw at him but held firm against the undeniably tempting suggestion. Even now that he understood Nijika had feelings for him, there was no way he could do something like that when she wasn't in her right mind.
"Why not? We're already married."
The faint scent of alcohol clung to Nijika's breath — the liqueur chocolates she'd eaten earlier, obviously — and at this point she had fully and completely convinced herself that this night was just a continuation of that wedding from her dream.
Realizing the situation had taken a dangerous turn, Jhin didn't answer. Instead, he lunged sideways to stop Ryo from feeding any more liqueur chocolates to the other two — but he was too late for Kita Ikuyo, who had already eaten one, her already-pink face flushing a shade deeper. He did manage to snatch the piece meant for Hitori Gotoh directly out of her hand, however. Hitori, denied her snack, was not pleased.
"Bocchi-chan, be good — that chocolate isn't good for you right now." Jhin did his best to soothe his girlfriend, whose cheeks were puffed out round and indignant like an angry blowfish. It didn't have much effect.
Hitori sulked, turning away from Jhin above her. Then something caught her eye — the metallic glint of a zipper, shining right in front of her face. Before he had any chance to react, she struck with the speed of lightning: she caught the zipper tab between her teeth, put a small, smooth amount of tension on it with her neck, and — ziiip — drew it cleanly down.
A cold sweat broke out all down Jhin's spine.
"Bocchi-chan! What do you think you're doing?!"
____
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