"What exactly is the seven-year itch, and how did you figure out I've got it?"
Yamanaka Ino took a sip of tea, then couldn't help asking; Uchiha Yoichi had just nailed a few of her recent habits—getting mad over trivial things and picking fights with Sai.
Although in Sai's eyes this didn't really count as a fight, Ino had waited two days for him and this time he actually hadn't come talk to her first, which made her pretty upset.
On the way back just now, she really had been thinking about starting a fight with Sai, but after Uchiha Yoichi's comment, Ino's heart gave a little jolt. Could she really have some condition she hadn't noticed?
Uchiha Yoichi took a sip of tea and said, "The seven-year itch is a kind of symptom I've observed in couples during my travels in recent years. It has to do with human cells. You've studied medicine; you should know a bit about human cells, right?"
"O-of course I know!"
Ino stiffened her mouth and said it anyway, then started rifling through her head for everything she knew about human cells.
She did know Medical Ninjutsu—though even after learning Medical Ninjutsu from Lady Tsunade, Ino quit after mastering two Medical Ninjutsu techniques. She still had clan Ninjutsu to train, and there was no way she could abandon the Ino-Shika-Cho Squad.
But Ino didn't want to embarrass herself in front of Uchiha Yoichi, so she stubbornly insisted she understood.
"The cells in the human body have memory. Every seven years they fully renew. At that point, even though you look the same, in terms of your body's cells, you can basically be considered a new person... At that time, the cells in your body have lost the memory of your spouse from the previous seven years, so both sides feel more unfamiliar. That's why I call it the seven-year itch."
Uchiha Yoichi said this much, saw that Ino was already seventy–eighty percent convinced and staring at him without even blinking, so he went on.
"Fixing it is simple. Husband and wife just need to 'get to know' each other again. Put down what you're doing, travel around the Ninja World together, or do other things as a couple, and the problem will resolve itself."
Ino raised an eyebrow and said, "That simple? You were talking like it was something terrifying just now..."
Uchiha Yoichi glanced at Ino. What would this silly housewife know? The more truthful something sounds, the easier it is to sell. Then he said, "This is just my research. Besides, changes in body cells don't affect the mind. Your memories haven't changed. It's just that you've recently developed some subtle sense of not being in sync. Even if I didn't say anything, think back on your life lately—isn't it kind of like that..."
Hints plus a little scare tactic—most effective against these idle housewives who do nothing all day.
Prompted by Uchiha Yoichi, Ino carefully thought back and did realize that she felt a tiny bit of unfamiliarity toward Sai—and Sai toward her. They weren't as close as they'd been from newlyweds up through having the baby. This... could it really be...
Seeing the change in expression on Ino's pretty face, Uchiha Yoichi pressed the thought in deeper. "That's right, it's exactly what you're thinking. This is the effect of cell renewal and metabolism. But it's nothing serious. As long as you both pay attention and correct it, you won't end up getting divorced!"
"Huh? Divorce!? What nonsense are you spouting, our relationship is rock solid..."
Dong, dong!
Uchiha Yoichi said levelly, "Raising your voice doesn't make you sound more confident, it just shows you're guilty. And telling me all this—what does that prove? I don't even know your name, ma'am. Finish your tea and head home. I might not even be right. Just take it as idle chatter..."
At that point, Uchiha Yoichi started ushering her out. Once the seed of doubt is planted, it'll sprout on its own. And with someone as dense as Yamanaka Ino, he was starting to suspect the 'boar' in the Ino-Shika-Cho Squad had occupied her brain for too long.
"Hmph, as if I'd believe you!"
Ino snorted, set down her teacup, and got up to leave.
"Almost thirty and still putting on the cutesy act, though I have to admit it's kind of..."
Uchiha Yoichi shook his head. Consider it a little side show, starting with Yamanaka Ino.
Then he closed up the shop and went upstairs to get back to Alchemy. As for the remodeling noise next door, it couldn't bother him at all. The Sound Insulation Jutsu on the interior walls wouldn't let a single sound through.
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After leaving the pharmacy, Ino headed straight for Konoha Hospital without stopping.
She already believed seventy–eighty percent of what Uchiha Yoichi had said, but she still wanted to ask Sakura whether that thing about human cells was true. She remembered Lady Tsunade's research into human cells was very in-depth, so Sakura should know too.
If it was true, didn't that mean she and Sai really might end up divorced?
Sakura, who had been researching Secret Medicine together with Tsunade, was yanked straight out of the lab by Ino. After seeing Tsunade, Ino didn't let her off either and dragged her out as well.
Then the two of them listened as Ino recounted what had happened. Sakura rubbed her chin, thinking. "From that perspective, what this guy said actually makes some sense. What do you think, Lady Tsunade?"
"I've never paid attention to that, but that guy's research on the human body isn't shallow if he even knows about the seven-year cell cycle. As for whether that makes couples divorce, I've got no idea..."
Tsunade's expression was a bit off. She had just done the math in her head—she'd been single for almost forty years. What would she know about married life? She could only speak on what she knew.
"Cells do have memory. Self-regeneration is one form of it. And a seven-year metabolic cycle is normal. Looked at that way, 'body memory' is at least a plausible concept."
Sakura waved her hand and said, "Ino, didn't that guy already tell you the method? Just make some time to go on a trip with Sai, won't that do? You're both in the village anyway, you can see each other every day...."
Neither Tsunade nor Sakura could see any bad intentions from Uchiha Yoichi toward Yamanaka Ino; more importantly, the idea Uchiha Yoichi came up with was entirely for Yamanaka Ino's own good.
A married couple going on a trip is about as normal as it gets, and besides, Ino doesn't really have anything going on in the village.
Thinking of this, Sakura couldn't help but sigh inwardly. She hadn't seen Sasuke in a long time.
"Going out for a stroll... it's not that easy. That guy is busy from morning till night..."
Seeing that Tsunade and Sakura both more or less agreed with what that guy had said, Yamanaka Ino's level of belief went from seventy or eighty percent up to ninety‑nine. Now she really felt that she and Sai had run into the 'seven‑year itch'.
If they didn't handle it well, they might even end up divorced!?
Yamanaka Ino eventually left Konoha Hospital. Tsunade and Sakura still had things to do, and she couldn't help with any of it, so she didn't stay there getting in the way.
After getting home, Ino checked the time and found it was almost time for Ijin to get out of school, and it was getting late, so she started making dinner.
"Mom, I'm back."
A little while later, when Ijin got home, Ino had just finished making dinner.
Seeing the dishes on the table and the empty seat, Yamanaka Ijin asked, "Eh, Dad still isn't back? Should we wait for him?"
"Then... let's wait a bit."
If it had been yesterday, Yamanaka Ino would definitely have told her son to eat first. But after hearing what Uchiha Yoichi, Tsunade, and Sakura said today, she'd been overthinking ever since she got home, wanting to save her marriage.
So she decided to wait a while!
But mother and son waited nearly an hour. The food had already gone cold when Yamanaka Ijin sighed and said, "Mom, I'm gonna go eat some snacks first..."
"No need, Ijin, let's eat dinner first!"
Yamanaka Ino felt a surge of anger, then picked up her bowl and chopsticks and started eating first. Although Sai had been busy before, he would still rush back at mealtime. Now he simply wasn't coming home for dinner at all.
What this stay‑at‑home housewife Yamanaka Ino didn't know was that this also had a bit to do with Uchiha Yoichi.
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Land of Valleys, Victor's experimental base.
Looking at the sapling that had sprouted before his eyes, Victor was extremely excited. He hadn't expected to see a Divine Tree sprout so quickly.
Victor then turned his head to look at the masked Kamui Clone and said, "The intel I obtained was correct; this really can cultivate an artificial Divine Tree. It's just that it requires a large amount of Hashirama Cells, and life...."
"These are all the Hashirama Cells I have. You'll have to figure out the rest on your own."
The Kamui Clone could tell Victor wanted more Hashirama Cells and stated it bluntly. There hadn't been that many Hashirama Cells in the Storage Ring to begin with, and now all of them had already been used to cultivate the Artificial Divine Tree for Victor.
This guy really did have some skills, managing to steal information about the Divine Tree right under Jigen's nose, and even developing a Regeneration Technique.
Although this Regeneration Technique had major drawbacks, the advantages outweighed the disadvantages. This kind of Jutsu was absolutely usable as a trump card.
"As for life, I suggest you don't use that stupid method. Any problem that can be solved with money isn't a real problem.... Go to the prisons in the Five Great Countries, or the prison in the Land of Grass, and buy some death‑row inmates."
Victor frowned and said, "That would cost quite a bit of money, and how many death‑row inmates can there even be...."
"You're not the one who decides whether they're death‑row inmates or not. The people running the prison do. And if you just start grabbing people at will, the Ninja from the Five Great Ninja Villages will soon take notice. By then, the other members of the Inner Array might start paying attention to you as well..."
Hearing this, Victor felt somewhat convinced in his heart, but he still said unwillingly, "I understand. But you have a Space‑Time Ability, so stealing Hashirama Cells should still be done by you...."
The Kamui Clone refused outright. "Drop that idea. I can't make a move. You'll have to find a way yourself."
With that, the Kamui Clone used his Pupil Technique and left.
Only after the Kamui Clone was gone did Victor clench his fists, face full of rage, and snarl, "Damn bastard, you really think I'd share the Divine Tree data with you? Keep dreaming! The Divine Tree is mine!"
"Hashirama Cells... the people in Konoha aren't easy to mess with. Forget it, I'll just hire that group lurking in the dark."