Chapter 37
Of Love, Pain, and Duty
.
It was Friday night in the common room after dinner and Ron was slowly annihilating Dean in a game of chess. After watching, as yet another of his pieces was utterly destroyed; this time a rook by one of Ron's knights, Dean whined, "Merlin, Ron, no wonder nobody wants to play you anymore." While Ron just snickered.
Hermione looked up from her reading to find an amused expression on Harry's face. "What are you smiling about?" she whispered.
Harry had been finishing up some last-minute potion's work, but hearing Dean's cries of defeat, he had turned to watch the show. "Just glad it's not me is all," he answered with a tick of his head towards the chess game. "By the way, we are going to Hogsmeade tomorrow… together I mean… aren't we?" Harry added with a sly grin while wiggling his eyebrows.
Hermione arched an eyebrow and looked up as if deep in thought. "Well… I don't…"
Before she could finish, Harry had hopped over the small coffee table and landed right in front of her. Grabbing her hands and looking up with the saddest puppy dog eye's he could muster, he teased playfully, "Oh please, Hermione… please, please, please."
Hermione giggled; she loved this side of Harry. It was so seldom he let his guard down. "Oh well fine," she said, trying to act along, but after only a second later, she had to smile and let loose another short giggle. "Okay now stop Harry, you know I can't say no to you… so behave."
Harry gave her a huge smile and kissed her hand before climbed up and squeezed into the armchair next to her. With mirth dancing in her eyes, Hermione whispered just loud enough for him to hear. "You think you're cute, don't you?"
"I just like to see you smiling, that's all." Hermione could see the sincerity in his face and feel the honesty in his touch. It gave her goosebumps. Then in a whisper of his own, he added, "I just want you to be happy."
Hermione cupped one hand alongside his face and replied softly, "I am."
They sat there side by side half turned into each other holding hands while looking into one another's eyes. Green into brown, brown into green… Harry was sure that if he looked deep enough, he would see her very soul. Both were happy and would have been more than content to stay in each other's arms all night, schoolwork long forgotten. Harry pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. Hermione sighed as she snuggled into his embrace and closed her eyes… yes, she was definitely happy.
Smack! A pillow thrown from across the room hit Harry upside the head. Turning, he saw Ginny laughing hysterically. With one hand, he flipped it back and pointed a finger at her, "You wait." Hermione nodded in agreement.
Ginny barked another laugh while dismissing their mischievous grins, "Yeah right," then laughing harder, she added, "and find a broom closet for Merlin's sake."
Harry and Hermione had the decency to blush but didn't break apart.
~oOoOo~
The next morning as the whole gang was arriving in Hogsmeade, Harry asked, "So, what's the plan?" While looking around at everyone.
Seamus started with, "Well, I'd like to stop at Honeydukes."
"I need to get some new quills, oh and some more parchment," Hermione added.
Soon, Neville, Ginny, and Luna were all talking at the same time about what they each needed.
Harry looked from one to the other as they all tried to speak at the same time, unable to understand any of them. "Hold it!" he finally shouted, "I'll tell you what, why don't we each go and get what we need, by ourselves, then meet up at the Three Broomsticks for lunch… say in about an hour?" It must have been enough time because they all nodded okay and started to go their separate ways.
Harry looked at Hermione, "Are you okay with this… I can come with you… if you want?" Although his tone made it seem as if he was hoping she'd go alone.
"Don't be silly, I'll be fine… you go and do what you need to do, and we'll meet in an hour." With that, she gave Harry a quick kiss and after a second of watching him, she turned to leave. Hermione could read Harry better than anyone could, 'He's up to something,' she thought.
"See you in an hour then," Harry replied smiling.
As they parted company, Hermione smiled, 'Oh well, I'll know soon enough.'
Harry was pretty good at reading Hermione as well and noticed the tell tail smile on her face as she left, 'Crap, I think she on to me.'That, of course, was the one problem with being so close to each other. However, both felt all the other benefits far out weighted this one little quirk… so you had to work a little harder to keep a secret, no big deal. As Harry watched her walk away, he thought 'Well it will still be a surprise.' His mind made up; Harry left for the little shop he'd been wanting to visit since last month. He had a very special gift to pick up.
~oOoOo~
A short while later three sharp cracks could be heard in one of the back alleys of Hogsmeade. Unfortunately, the only one to hear them was a lone witch who was outside feeding her cat. At the sound, she looked up into the cold eyes of a white masked wizard and gasped. She started to yell out for help, but it was already too late. As the green flash of the killing curse hit her and she fell to the ground, the last thing she heard was their sick laughter.
Lucius shook his head at their casual use of the curse. Hoping that they now had that out of their systems, he nodded to the shop across the way. "You know what she looks like, so go, and remember your orders," was all he said before Apparating away.
Harry had just paid the young clerk and was leaving the shop when he heard it; the unmistakable sound of spellfire. He was frantically looking around trying to find its source when a sudden blast made him duck slightly out of reflex. Up the street, one of the shops had a hole in the front wall and smoke was starting to drift out. Harry's blood ran cold as he realized it was Scrivenshaft's.
"Hermione," Harry whispered to no one, and before he had even finished her name, he was already running.
Three Death Eaters were in the shop, casting curses at anyone in their way. Only the shop owner and Hermione were fighting back. One of the Death Eaters had managed to slip around behind them and got off a spell taking out the shop owner. Now Hermione was alone.
"Well, well, boys, look at this… a nice juicy student." What they didn't realize, was that it had been Hermione doing most of the fighting. They expected her to be trembling with fear and so were a bit surprised when she turned around and fired a stunner at the one with a smart mouth, neutralizing the threat from behind.
As the first Death Eater was falling to the floor, Harry was almost to the shop and about to run in the front. He could hear Neville yelling to wait but he didn't care, and he sure as hell wasn't going to wait, not with Hermione inside. Forgetting all his training on how to enter a building under siege properly, he burst through the hole in the wall without regards to his own safety. Luckily, he caught the two remaining Death Eaters off guard, then all hell broke loose for a moment. They were caught in a crossfire now between Hermione and Harry. Hermione had good cover, but Harry was out in the open, however he wouldn't back off, he wouldn't leave Hermione. Fortunately, between Harry's surprise arrival and their fighting skills, they were quickly able to take down the last two.
"Harry!" Hermione yelled, "Are you all right?"
"Yeah, you?"
"I'm fine Harry… but what were you thinking, are you crazy running in here like that. Merlin, you could have been hurt, or worse." The last part coming out a little softer.
Although it had been a dangerous encounter, Hermione was doing okay, eventually, she would have probably taken the two down, or at least held them off until help arrived. Even though Harry had been reckless in his rush to help, it had made the difference in how fast the encounter was over and Hermione was grateful. It had allowed them to end the fight quickly without anyone else getting hurt.
Harry ran forward and pulled Hermione into a tight embrace, one that she returned trembling slightly. "Thank you, Harry," she whispered into his chest.
"My God, Hermione, I was so…" He held her tighter. "I know it was stupid running in here like that, I just wasn't thinking. I only wanted to get to you."
They both let out a breath they didn't even know they were holding and pulled away slightly. "I know, Harry, but you wouldn't have been much help if you'd been hit." Hermione continued on more gently, "Promise me, you'll be more careful next time."
"Next time?" Harry asked with a smile and a 'what me?' look on his face.
Hermione answered with a coy smile of her own, "Harry, it is you were talking about, we both know there's going to be a next time."
Harry sighed, "Yeah… okay, I will… I promise."
Hermione noticed he had answered with a slight grimace. "Harry?"
Harry was becoming more aware of the pain in his arm and side as the adrenaline wore off. He tried to cover his discomfort with a smile, but it was too late, Hermione was watching him like a hawk. "HARRY! Oh Merlin, you were hit," she stepped back to get a better look at him, "open your robes, Harry, let me see." It was not a request.
With her help, he was able to inch his robe off his shoulder and down his arm. "Ahhh," Harry hissed.
"Well serves you right, storming in here like Godric himself." Hermione teased.
She had only just finished bandaging his arm when Professor McGonagall came in. "Mr. Potter, Miss Granger, are you all right?" She asked with concern before looking around. Then after seeing three stunned and bound Death Eaters, she was unable to keep the surprise out of her voice as she asked, "What in Merlin's name happened here?"
After a brief discussion and a check on Harry's arm, McGonagall took control. "Mr. Potter, as soon as you get back, I want you to go straight to the infirmary and have Madam Pomfrey check your injuries. Miss Granger, you're sure you are okay?"
"Just a little shaken is all, Professor, I'm fine, thank you."
"Very well then," McGonagall finished in her normal business-like tone, "now that the Auror's are here you two should head back. I'll be along shortly after I have a few words with them."
~oOoOo~
By the time they reached the castle, they had finished telling the others what had happened. Mr. Filch was waiting for them as they entered. After stopping them he looked at Hermione and said with a sneer, "The Headmaster wants to see you right away," he said it with a fairly nasty tone as if it were beneath him to deliver the message. Seamus, Ginny, Luna, and Neville were looking at Hermione all wondering the same thing, 'Now what.'
Harry and Hermione, who had been holding hands turned and looked at each other. Hermione was worried about Harry and his arm and wanted to go with him to the infirmary. Harry, of course, wanted to go with Hermione. Finally, Harry smiled and said, "Go ahead, he probably just wants to ask a few questions and knows that I have to go to the infirmary, I'll see you at dinner, okay?"
"Right, dinner then," Hermione said, as she gave Harry's hand a little squeeze to say goodbye before he turned and headed for the hospital wing.
"Miss Granger did a nice job," Madam Pomfrey said as she checked over the wound, "although it's not all that bad, I'm glad she sent you here anyway."
Harry didn't bother to tell her, it was actually McGonagall who had ordered him here. "Yes, ma'am, she's just being careful I suppose."
After applying a healing balm, Madam Pomfrey dismissed him and Harry left for the Great Hall and dinner.
Harry arrived about halfway through dinner and noticed right away that Hermione wasn't back yet. "Anybody seen Hermione?" He asked his friends as he sat down.
"Nope," Ron said, seemingly without care as he took another bit of food.
Harry eyed him for a second. Their friendship, as shaky as it was, only seemed to be getting worse. Not only did he feel Ron truly didn't care where she was, but he thought Ron probably didn't care about her at all. Harry was actually a little surprised Ron had even answered him considering they hardly talked much anymore. 'Heck, he hardly even sits by us anymore.' But Harry would worry about that later, for now, he was concerned about Hermione. Turning to Ginny he raised a brow.
"No, not since we've been back," Ginny told him.
Neville just shook his head as he looked around as if to check one last time.
Harry glanced up at the head's table, 'Dumbledore not back either,'he thought with just a little concern, 'I'll have to ask Hermione what's up later if she doesn't make it back for dinner.' Little did Harry know, it would not be until tomorrow before he saw her again, and still he wouldn't get an answer.
~oOoOo~
"Heath Bar," Hermione said, and the gargoyle moved aside letting her in to see the Headmaster. She stood outside his office door ready to knock but hesitated. She couldn't put her finger on it but something about this meeting felt wrong. Suddenly, she found herself wondering why Dumbledore wanted to see just her. Gathering her courage, she finally knocked. After hearing Dumbledore's invitation to enter, she pushed the door open with no small amount of trepidation.
"Ah, Miss Granger, please have a seat," he said pleasantly, while his face showed concern and regret at having to do something decisively unpleasant.
Hermione tensed up instantly as she sat down and started to fidget with her hands. "Sir, what's wrong, is it my parents," she asked, starting to get upset.
"No, Miss Granger, I assure you, your parents are fine, and nobody is hurt." Dumbledore quickly assured her, "but I am afraid I do have a terribly difficult request to make of you."
Hermione looked up again concerned and in a small voice asked, "What kind of request, Sir?"
"Before we get to that, would you mind telling me what happened just a short time age in Hogsmeade? I had promised Professor McGonagall, that we'd wait for her before discussing anything," Dumbledore smiled, "I'm sure she won't be long now."
Hermione began to explain the events, with typical Hermione precision; just as she was finishing her story, McGonagall walked in.
"Ah, Minerva, perfect timing, Miss Granger just finished giving me her thoughts on recent events," Dumbledore said to his deputy.
Then turning back, he gave Hermione a slow nod, "Thank you, Miss Granger, for your insight on the attack."
Then Dumbledore's mood became more solemn as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. As he steepled his fingers in front of his face, he began, "What I am about to tell you, must never leave this room." Opening his eyes, he gave McGonagall a glance before focusing on Hermione, "Lives, a great many lives, depend on this information staying secret. You must not tell anyone, not even Harry, about what you are about to hear." Dumbledore pinned Hermione with his gaze, "Do I have your word, Miss Granger?"
Hermione stared back at Dumbledore; she had never seen his so deadly serious before.
"I won't keep secrets from Harry, Professor," Hermione said in a tone that left no room for doubt.
"In this case, you must as it is the only way. And… I am quite certain you will agree once you have all the facts," Dumbledore said simply.
Hermione studied her headmaster, looking for the truth in his eyes. Dumbledore seemed sincere enough, but the thought of hiding something from Harry bothered her more than she thought possible. Ultimately, she decided if necessary, she could just break her word; after all, he'd done it more than once with Harry.
"Does this… secret involve Harry, or myself?"
"It does."
"And by telling me, it will be of some help to Harry," Hermione wanted to know.
"I believe it will, yes," Dumbledore answered truthfully.
Hermione glanced at McGonagall but her stern head of house gave nothing away, except that she looked troubled. Hermione made up her mind a second later and nodded, "You have my word."
Dumbledore nodded back with a sad smile before continuing, "Many years ago, a prophecy was made. It told of a young boy who would grow up and one day face an evil dark lord. It spoke of a power he would have… However, it did not say whether the boy would win, or not."
Hermione gasped, "Harry and… Voldemort."
Dumbledore nodded sagely, "Indeed, Miss Granger."
Wanting to help, Hermione asked, "Sir, how exactly am I involved."
"More recently, a second prophecy about Mr. Potter and someone else… you, I believe, was brought to my attention," Dumbledore started, "it refers to his possible demise in the near future."
Hermione tensed again, she was on the verge of panic, Dumbledore was talking about Harry's death. Somehow, she was able to maintain control of her emotions as she asked, "What exactly did these prophecies say? How were they worded?"
"I am afraid I cannot tell you that."
Hermione narrowed her eyes, "And why not?"
"Miss Granger," Dumbledore sighed. "It is complicated, not to insinuate that you would not understand. I can talk to you about it in vague general terms, but the specifics are things which I cannot reveal to you, as they don't only just involve the two of you, but others as well."
"Since they do involve both Harry and me, I think we have a right to know," Hermione said rather forcefully.
The 'we' part didn't go unnoticed by either of the professors. "Miss Granger," Dumbledore started with a stern voice, "I feel I must remind you of your promise. You cannot tell Mr. Potter about any of this…" Seeing the indignant look on her face, Dumbledore tried to explain, "Miss Granger, as you will see in a moment, he cannot know of this yet, and certainly nothing of this conversation. If he were to find out… all would be lost, as he would never allow this course of action to continue even if he knew everything now. He wouldn't understand… in time he will, but he wouldn't now. I promise, he will know everything when the time is right, and I am also certain he will understand later why all of this was necessary."
"Still…" Hermione tried.
"Miss Granger, Harry is not the only one who would like to know of this." With a pointed look at her, he continued, "There are others out there that would like to know the contents of the prophecies as well. And while I am certain you would never voluntarily give up that information, there are ways to take it from you forcefully."
Hermione still needed to know more; Dumbledore was being way too vague. She was beginning to get an idea of how Harry felt after a long conversation with the Headmaster. "Well then sir, can you at least tell me how and when it will happen, how am I involved?"
She would have gone on, but Dumbledore raised his hand and said, "Miss Granger, with a prophecy, those kinds of things are not precise. I do not know when or how… but, as for how you are involved…"
Thinking he was going to ask her to help, maybe put her life at risk, Hermione cut him off. "Of course, sir, I'll do anything to help. You know I'd stand by Harry no matter what. I'd do anything for him." She stopped when she saw the sad and troubled look on his face.
"I know you would, Hermione," Dumbledore said softly as he came around his desk and sat next to her. You care for him very much, and he cares for you, just the same.
Dumbledore had never addressed her by her given name like this before. A voice in Hermione's head was screaming at her that something was terribly wrong here. Concerned she asked, "What are you not telling me, sir?"
"Remember this afternoon… how Harry acted to help you?"
Realization dawned on Hermione as her own words from just a short while ago echoed in her mind, 'Merlin, you could have been hurt, or worse.' She wasn't part of the solution, she was the problem. If the prophecy was to be believed, it was Harry's feelings for her that would get him killed. Hermione shook her head in disbelief, 'That can't be true,' she thought. They had been through so much together; the philosopher's stone, the chamber of secrets, Sirius, the tournament. God, they'd been friends for over four years, and now they were more. Although she was only fifteen years old, Hermione knew that she cared a great deal for Harry, much more than for anyone else. She believed, that she truly loved Harry, that it wasn't just some schoolgirl crush. The thought of Harry caused her to think about his life. He'd had such a horrible and lonely childhood, that the scars were only now just starting to fade. And here at Hogwarts although he had friends, he still couldn't catch a break. Finally, things were starting to look up a little. Now this, Hermione was getting mad. "Damn it!" She yelled, "Why Harry, why always Harry," she started, "No… I won't let this happen. There must be a way… Either that or the prophecy is wrong." Hermione was looking straight at Dumbledore with such intensity that even he was impressed.
"Actually, there may be a way," Dumbledore began, "but it will be very difficult for both of you, especially you, Miss Granger."
"I'm listening."
"The prophecy speaks specifically about his first true love being his downfall. Even if he doesn't realize it yet, I believe that person to be you and so I can only think of one solution that will work." Dumbledore sat back and stared sorrowfully at Hermione. He sat still watching as the brilliant young witch put it all together. Her bright eyes started to cloud over and slide out of focus. Tears began to run down her cheeks and her breathing labored. Professor Dumbledore knew she'd come to the same conclusion.
She must leave Harry Potter, make him fall out of love with her. "No, anything but that," she said, "please, there must be another way." Turning to her head of house she asked, "How do we know if this… prophecy is even real?"
McGonagall knew Hermione was wondering if Albus was being truthful or not and she didn't blame her. She'd had major doubts herself at first, but after going over all the evidence she was forced to admit that the prophecy appeared to be valid. Speaking for the first time since the start of the meeting, she said softly, "Miss Granger, I was there when the prophecy was made. Everything the Headmaster has told you about it is true. He even went to the Ministry and verified it."
Hermione's resolve did not change, "Still, how sure are you of it?" She asked again. "You are asking me to leave Harry, how do you know that's the answer?"
"Nothing is absolute, but I am confident that this is for the best," Dumbledore sighed, "at least in the long run."
Hermione sat still and stared at the floor lost in thought as tears again welled up in her eyes. The idea was crazy. It was completely mad. They were stronger together, they always had been. "No! I won't do that to Harry," Hermione said with determination.
"You must… I am truly sorry, but I am afraid I can see no other way," Dumbledore whispered as his own eyes threatening to tear up. "Think of Harry," he added gently.
Hermione brought both her hands up to the sides of her head and leaned forward as she tried to cope with the situation. With tears running freely down her face, she closed her eyes and with a stuttering breath said, "Harry… Do you have any idea what this will do to him?" Hermione opened her eyes and stared at Dumbledore like he was the most inhuman man she had ever seen. "You're asking me to break his heart."
"Better alive with a broken heart than to be dead," Dumbledore answered.
"Are you so sure about that? Because I'm not," Hermione countered, "how do you know that this won't break him? There has to be another way. This can't be right! I won't do this to Harry, I won't."
"If you can think of another way, please tell me and I will gladly listen," Dumbledore said plainly, "I don't like this either, but there's so much at stake. Something must be done before it's too late."
Not for the first time since they started the conversation, Hermione again wondered if there wasn't more to the story, something else he wasn't telling her. "Professor," she asked, "Who told you this prophecy? How exactly do you know it's real?"
Dumbledore rose from his seat looking thoughtful. He returned to his desk and sat down after a few seconds and said slowly, "I understand your skepticism, Miss Granger. There is more to this than meets the eye, However, unfortunately, I'm afraid I cannot tell you any more than this." When Hermione started to object, he added, "Miss Granger, we are both aware of how many times I have done wrong by Harry in the past. That is why this time I have checked and rechecked everything. It is why I have asked for help from not only Professor McGonagall, but several specialists from the Ministry as well. Please believe me when I say, that both you and Harry mean a great deal to me and I will do whatever I can to help and protect you, but sadly, I can see no other way here." He leaned forward and added, "If you cannot think of another way, then I fear you must do this."
Hermione couldn't think, the only thoughts running through her mind were about Harry. How she would hurt him more than he had ever been hurt before. How she would lose him. "I need time to think," she said dejectedly as she stood to leave.
"Time is something we don't have a great deal of," Dumbledore told her.
Hermione slowly nodded then turned and left the office.
Professor McGonagall stood and faced Dumbledore. She had been asked to try and keep her comment to a minimum, so as not to influence their talk. Now that Hermione had gone, she could speak her mind.
"Well, Minerva," Dumbledore started, "I think that went as well as can be expected for now."
"What I think," Professor McGonagall replied rather angrily, "is that this is a mistake. That girl knows Harry better than you, better than any of us, she very well might be right."
"Harry is stronger than that, Minerva, he will…"
She cut him off, "Is he? Albus, I'm not disagreeing with you completely, Harry Potter is one of the strongest individuals I've ever meet. However, consider this; nearly all his life he has known nothing but pain and loneliness. No one was there for him physically or emotionally. Now he has Miss Granger and her support, understanding, trust, and most of all, her love." She paused to let that sink in before continuing, "And now we rip all that away. It just too much. Too much for anyone, yet alone a boy of fifteen." Professor McGonagall looked away. She knew that she could not change his mind once it was made up.
"Please try and understand."
Her head snapped back in his direction. "I don't have to understand any more than I have to like it. But since I don't have any better ideas I will do as I'm told like everyone else… for now. But know this." She added with anger in her eyes, "They both mean a great deal to me also, so if you are wrong about this…" She couldn't finish, she just turned and left his office mad and upset. She had already decided that she would be keeping a very close watch on events that concerned her two favorite students and if necessary, intercede on their behalf.
Earlier, she had discussed this with the group and sadly they had come to the concussion, that Dumbledore's interpretation of the prophecy was probably correct. Emma had been the only one not convinced and it was her last remarks that now screamed at McGonagall, 'I'll put my faith in Harry and Hermione…'
Professor Dumbledore sat behind his desk, hands steepled in front of his face, deep in thought, 'If she is right, and I am wrong? Oh, Merlin, it could all go so terribly wrong.' He liked to be sure of things but that was not the case this time. Dumbledore closed his eyes and prayed he was doing the right thing.
~oOoOo~
There was no way she could see Harry right now, she would lose it for sure. And she couldn't eat even if she wanted to, so Hermione walked right past the dining hall and headed straight to her dorm. A couple of people said hello as she passed but she was in such a state she didn't even notice. Reaching her room, she was relieved no one else was there. She quickly slipped into her pajamas and crawled into bed before closed the hangings. 'There has to be another way, there just has to be,' she kept thinking, but nothing came to her. She was so exhausted and drained emotionally that she couldn't focus.
Hermione cast a silencing spell around her bed because she knew they would come… the tears. And once they began to fall, she also knew they wouldn't stop. Her only hope was that tomorrow was a new day and with some sleep, she might just come up with a better plan; one that didn't involve hurting Harry.
~oOoOo~
Sunday came all too early. Hermione had cried herself to sleep the night before. Now as she was getting up, she knew Harry would be waiting for her down in the common room. 'He'll want to know why I missed dinner,' she thought as she turned to look at herself in the mirror, 'Merlin, when he sees my face, he'll know I was crying last night.' She was pale, her hair was a mess, and her eyes were all red and puffy. 'What do I tell him? I won't lie to him… but I can't tell him the truth…' Hermione worried as she finished getting ready for the day.
As she made her way down the stairs to the common room, sure enough, there was Harry waiting for her, 'My sweet Harry,' she thought.
Harry looked up and right away was on his feet. One look told him something was wrong. Her eyes were downcast, and her beautiful smile was nowhere to be found. She carried herself stiffly and walked with reluctance as if she were heading for the gallows. As she approached there was no doubt left, Harry knew something was definitely very wrong. "What… my God, Hermione, have you been crying, what happened?"
She managed a weak smile, "Harry, calm down. Yes, I've been crying." Harry reached for her and she let him. "Harry, something has come up and I really need you to understand," she told him.
"Of course, what happened?"
"Harry, right now, till I can work this out… I can't tell you. Please don't be mad. I just need a little time," she begged. She could tell he was a little hurt that she couldn't confide in him. "Harry, you know I trust you in everything, even with my life and I've never kept anything from you." Hermione looked down for a second as she chewed her lower lip, "But this is… different… complicated. I need to work this out on my own."
Harry did feel a bit hurt at first but quickly realized that she wasn't trying to keep something from him just to hurt him. That whatever it was, must be important; maybe personal or something. He knew Hermione would tell him when she was ready. "Well, okay then, umm, I'll not ask you any more about it until you're ready." Harry said with an easy smile, "and in the meantime, I'll be right here with you in case you need help with it… or, I don't know, whatever."
"Actually, Harry," Hermione said nervously, "I need to be by myself for a while, alone, till I figure this out."
Harry smirked, "What, I'm a distraction now?"
Hermione looked at him for a long moment and then with a sad smile said softly, "My sweet distraction. Oh, Harry, normally I love to be distracted by you." She looked down again and her voice lost its sweet gentleness and took on a harder edge, "But not this time."
Harry couldn't believe it. Not only would she not talk to him but now she didn't want him by her side either. What was going on? "Oh, aw, I'll just…" Harry didn't know what to say.
He had let go of her and suddenly Hermione felt very alone as a cold shiver ran up her spine. Harry turned and took a few steps away before stopping and looking back at her. He too suddenly felt lost and alone. "Harry, please try to understand," Hermione pleaded, tears starting to gather behind her eyes.
As Harry looked at her, he saw the desperation and he hated to see her cry. "Okay, I'll try," Harry managed, although his look clearly said he didn't know if he could. They stood there staring at each other for what seemed like hours. Finally, still at a loss as to what to do, Harry said, "I guess… I, I'd better go now," and after another short pause turned and left.
~oOoOo~
For the rest of the day and most of the next, Hermione wracked her brain trying to come up with an alternative plan. During class the following Monday she was quiet and reserved, hardly paying any attention at all. When dinner came, she sat alone at the end of the table and so far, she hadn't been able to come up with a different plan, but Hermione knew that she couldn't abandon Harry. She loved and trusted him more than anyone else she knew. Together they would find a way. Hermione didn't know why but she just knew they were better off sticking together… it just felt right. 'Dumbledore must be wrong,' she thought, 'I'm staying with Harry to the end, and if I'm wrong, then to the death. Hermione decided to tell the Headmaster after dinner, then she'd tell Harry the whole story.
Time seemed to crawl by for Harry. Even though he had seen her several times during the day, they hadn't talked. They passed each other like they were strangers without saying a word. He hadn't talked to Hermione for a whole day but already it felt like a month. On Monday they had two classes together where they still sat side by side. However, they had only talked when required to do so for their work. The worry and anxiety were driving him crazy, and by the look on her face, Harry knew she wasn't doing any better.
~oOoOo~
The other students were beginning to notice that something was up with them and Harry knew it wouldn't be long before the rumors started. He had only just sat down to lunch when Neville brought it up. "Harry, if it's none of my business just say so, but, ahh, what's going on with you and Hermione?"
Harry sighed, and wondered how many times he would be asked this. "It's nothing, Neville, she's got some extra stuff going on, that's all." Harry knew there was more to it than that, but he wasn't going to tell Neville that, or anyone else for that matter.
Neville knew there was more to it than that also but figured it wasn't any of his business, so he let it go. "Right," Neville said with a thoughtful nod.
Just down the table, Lavender nudged Parvati, "So, what's up with them?" Lavender asked as she looked toward Hermione.
"I don't know… but I'm starting to wonder," Parvati replied.
"Probably just a fight, you know Hermione, she probably wants equal rights for the merpeople or something and Harry said no way."
"No, I don't think so," Parvati said, "they both seem pretty distant. Something's wrong."
Not getting any information on the golden couple, Lavender turned her attention and quest for gossip towards the Ravenclaw table. "Well then, what do you think is up with Seamus and your sister? I thought he might kind of fancy Ginny."
Parvati turned and looked at her sister sitting and laughing with Seamus and smiled. It seemed she knew something Lavender didn't. "Oh, I think Seamus likes Ginny just fine, but he knows she has her eyes on some else at the moment."
Lavender gasped, "Are you telling me she still hung up on Potter?"
Parvati laughed, "Don't be silly, she got over him last year."
"Well, who then?"
Parvati just shrugged her shoulders, she wasn't about to give up Ginny's secret, especially to Lavender Brown… the gossip queen of Hogwarts.
Lavender huffed and started to pout until she spotted Ron walking in with Romilda. While sitting their glaring at them, she thought, 'I wonder where the third member of the scarlet trio is?'
~oOoOo~
Snape was in a hurry to leave; he had classes tomorrow to prepare for but he dare not interrupt, the consequences would no doubt be painful. He had just delivered his latest report. Snape knew that Voldemort had other spies in the castle and that Voldemort would be aware of certain changes. If his report did not match current events to a certain extent, Voldemort would become suspicious. He walked a thin line between telling the Dark Lord enough to maintain his cover, and not giving him any more than necessary.
Voldemort stared at his loyal servant and again wondered if he maybe knew a little more than he let on. "Tell me, Severus, are you sure Dumbledore was referring to the original prophecy and not something new… maybe another prophecy?" Voldemort asked, not wanting to give anything away.
"Yes, My Lord, I was uncertain myself and so I asked. I made sure to make him think I was only interested in knowing if it would make the Potter brat more irritating so as not to draw suspicion." Snape, had just unknowing given the Dark Lord, the wrong answer.
Voldemort studied Snape and what he had said for a moment but could find no fault in either. "Very well, Severus, you did right coming to me with this so soon. Now, return to the castle before you are missed. We will talk again soon."
Alone with his thoughts, Voldemort contemplated the new information. He had not considered the fact, that his new prophecy would or even could alter the old one, since it wasn't even real. Sitting down, he closed his eyes and tried to imagine what could have changed. Was the old prophecy now predicting a different outcome? Was it somehow now trying to compensate for the changes he put into motion using Umbridge? He was fairly confident that his current plans would still yield positive results, so for now, they would stay in place and he'd wait and see. But the distant future was again in question. He'd have to go back to the Ministry again to hear the changes for himself, that much he was certain of. But how? With Dolores in Azkaban he had no one in the current Ministry with high enough clearance to slip in and out un-noticed as before. 'A… distraction,' Voldemort thought with a smile, he so loved distractions. 'Or maybe find a way to get someone else to bring it to me this time,' he further thought. Then, with a laugh, he said out load to himself, "Why not both!"
~oOoOo~
Late Monday evening, Hermione found herself back in the Headmaster's office. "Sir, you don't understand, I can't… no, I won't do that to Harry." Hermione was upset and she was trying desperately to control her emotions. Both her and Harry's lives; their futures were at stake here, how could Dumbledore take this so lightly. "I don't care if it's more dangerous. As for me, I would rather fight by his side than stand on the sidelines anyway. If I get hurt or worse… well, that's my fault, my choice." Hermione continued, "As for Harry, I think it should be his choice also. He of all people should have a voice in this. If he wants me to leave him then so be it, I will. But it's a decision we need to make together because it's about us, not you or anybody else, just us." There, she has said her piece. Hermione leaned back and tried to settle her nerves.
Dumbledore was deep in thought and he didn't look too happy. 'Is he going to try and make me anyway,' she wondered with growing concern, 'maybe send me away.' Hermione was starting to get worried again.
Finally, he spoke. It was soft and reassuring but also pained, "Miss Granger, Hermione, Oh how I adore your devotion to all that you do and most importantly, to Harry." Dumbledore paused, the sparkle in his eyes gone, Hermione could see how hard it was for him to continue with what it was he had to say and her worry turned to fear.
Dumbledore reluctantly pressed on, "If only it were that simple, if only it was just about Harry and yourself…"
She cut him off, "Who else then?"
Dumbledore shook his head slightly and sighed, "I know you are the type of person to ask questions. You have an inter-need to not just know, but to know how and why. In this case, there is more, a lot more; but alas, I cannot tell you any more than I have already. I cannot tell you who, or what I know, or even how I know it. Please do not ask."
Dumbledore could see the fear and the desperation in her eyes. He could sense the anger slowly starting to build and he knew she would not be dismissed so easily. "Miss Granger," He started again, this time a little more forcefully. "I can tell you this, Harry's involvement is complicated, and even if he decided not to get involved, he would still be affected. Furthermore more, so would a great deal of others. If we ignore the warning the prophecy gives us and Harry were to die… thenso would a great many others; friends, family, and people you don't even know. The Longbottoms, the Weasleys… the Grangers… all gone. And that is just the beginning.
Hermione sat there in shock as these new revelations sank in. It wasn't just about Harry and her. It wasn't just their lives. If she stayed with Harry, the prophecy said he would probably die and so would many others. How could she be so selfish? She couldn't, "Sir, please," Hermione asked again, she had to be certain, "are you absolutely sure, sure about the prophecy, sure about what will happen."
Dumbledore nodded slowly, "Sadly yes, I am quite certain."
She wasn't afraid for her own life, but she had to do what was right and she was worried about Harry. She didn't want to be his downfall and get him killed. She knew Harry would want to decide for himself, but she also knew that if she told him, he'd want her to stay with him, 'We'll find a way, he'd say.' However now, with so many others to consider, how could she live with the idea that because she so desperately wanted to be, or even needed to be with Harry, that she was willing to risk countless lives.
Hermione didn't realize it but she had been staring off into nothing. All the while tears were running down her face while she thought about all Dumbledore had said. She knew why she was crying, even though she hadn't thought it or voiced it out loud. Inside, she knew… her heart was breaking, because now Hermione knew she had no choice. She'd have to break Harry heart as well… and he'd never know why.
Dumbledore had called Professor McGonagall into the meeting again so she could be kept up to date. To say she wasn't pleased with the whole thing would have been the understatement of the year. As promised though, she sat back and stayed out of the conversation but that didn't stop her from feeling the range of emotions that she did. Professor McGonagall was angry at the injustice of the whole thing. Mad at Dumbledore for his inability to find a solution that didn't require destroying the lives of her students. And sad at the loss, of what might have been.
Listening to Hermione passionately plead her case to Dumbledore, McGonagall knew Hermione truly would lay down her life for Harry and it moved her beyond words. One look at Hermione who was on the verge of breaking down completely and at the same time desperately trying to find another solution about brought her to tears as well. "Albus, surely there's…"
He cut her off with a look. "I feel I must remind you both, no one can know of this…. Please help Miss Granger to her dorm." Dumbledore said sadly, then added with a look that said, I'm sorry, "Minerva, please."
~oOoOo~
Professor McGonagall helped Hermione to her bed. Putting a hand softly on her shoulder, she asked, "My dear, are you going to be all right?" No sooner had she said it than she wished she hadn't.
"All right… all right?" Hermione hissed, then realizing her Professor didn't mean to upset her, she softened her tone, "I'm sorry, ma'am, but no, I'm not all right." Then adding in a very soft voice just barely above a whisper, "I may never be all right." Hermione turned and looked up at her head of house. "I love him; I know he loves me, and he trusts me." Then again in a whisper, barely spoken, she added, "I have to throw all that away." She closed her eyes, "It will destroy him… and it will be the end of us." Hermione was crying out right now and her already red eyes were getting even puffier. With nothing left to say but still at odds with herself, Hermione asked with a hitch in her voice, "Am I doing the right thing?"
Professor McGonagall stood there looking down at Hermione, the brightest witch of her age, Hogwarts most promising student in half a millennium. Just a few days ago if she had to describe her with single words, they would have been; gifted, smart, loyal, brave, caring, and so on. Now, here she was right in front of her and almost unrecognizable, lost and afraid, pleading with her eyes for help, looking for an answer no one could give.
"I don't know," was all she could say.
Hermione stared up at her professor knowing she didn't have an answer. After a few seconds, she nodded once and closed her eyes, hoping sleep would soon take her.
~oOoOo~
Harry woke with a start, still breathing a little hard from the strangest dream he'd just had. It was neither a pleasant dream nor a nightmare, it was just… different.
It was just starting to get light out, so Harry decided to get up. Still in his pajamas, he made his way down to the common room and after bringing the fire back to life, Harry sat on the couch and tried to remember his dream. He was in a strange place; a large room that was dark and quiet with row after row of shelves which seemed to go on forever. On the shelves were what looked like glass balls, about the size of a Snitch. Looking up, Harry saw row '94' and then just a little further down the row, one of the globes was glowing. Harry walked up to and as he reached for it, that was when the dream ended.
'That's was so weird,' Harry thought, 'I wonder if that place is real.' Harry thought about it for a while until he figured it was late enough to go for a morning run. After changing into his old workout outfit, he set off to start his old routine.
~oOoOo~
As the early morning sun filtered in through her dorm room window, Hermione finally woke. Grudgingly, she opened her eyes and for a few seconds was relaxed but all too soon, she remembered. "Hey, Crooks, how'd you sleep? Better than me and I hope," she said softly as she gave her familiar a scratch behind the ears. Crookshanks purred contently, happy to let his human have a little peace and tranquility before she started her day. "Well, I had better get up, it's going to be a long hard day."
A little later after sitting down to breakfast, Hermione started thinking about the terrible conversation she was going to have with Harry soon. Just thinking about it turned her stomach and she had to push her food away, unable to eat another bit. Getting up to leave, she heard Harry just outside in the Hall.
"Professor Dumbledore, Professor!" Harry called trying to get his headmaster's attention.
"Mr. Potter, unless it is an emergency, I am afraid I will have to ask you to wait for another time, I am in a great hurry."
"No, sir, it's not an emergency," Harry said.
Dumbledore gave a nod, then turned and hurried away leaving a frustrated Harry behind. Of the two people Harry could always talk to; one now seemed to never have time and the other wanted to be left alone.
~oOoOo~
The rest of Tuesday went by as usual in a busy blur. As Hermione walked into the Great Hall for dinner and she did a quick scan of the Gryffindor table. Harry had either already eaten or wasn't planning to, as he wasn't there. Sadly, it seemed they were getting pretty good at avoiding each other.
Hermione sat down next to Neville. "Hi, guys, anybody seen Harry?" Everyone turned and looked at her, "What?"
"You two haven't said hardly two words to each other the last couple of days," Ginny said as Neville and Seamus both nodded in agreement.
"Oh… well yeah, I know Things have been…" After a glance around the Hall, Hermione stopped, others at the table were starting to pay attention. "Look, I need to talk to him okay, so if you see him ask him to meet me in the common room tonight." More nods and a few raised eyebrows but slowly the conversation returned to normal. Her friends though were concerned. They knew something was up but after several tries at getting one of them to talk, only to be told to leave it alone they had given up for now, figuring they'd find out sooner or later. What they didn't know was just how big the news was going to be.
~oOoOo~
Hermione sat in the far corner of the common room; it was about as isolated as she could get. There she waited for Harry to find her, almost hoping he wouldn't show. About an hour into her charms homework she heard him say from just behind her, "You wanted to see me?" It was soft and polite. Harry was trying so hard to understand and to be patient. 'He didn't deserve this,' Hermione thought for a second before she turned and looked up. In a very quiet voice, she said, "Hello, Harry, please sit with me for a moment."
Harry slowly sat down suddenly full of anxiety, something in her tone telling him he wouldn't like what was coming. He looked into her eyes and saw for a brief moment a conflict, some inner struggle she was having. And when Hermione looked back at him, all she saw was a question, 'why?' Hermione looked down at the table and focused on her notes. She knew she couldn't look at him any longer, if she did, she would also see the pain and hurt that was sure to come and then she wouldn't be able to follow through with her plan without breaking down. She had to convince him, make him believe what she was going to say was true, even if it was the biggest lie she had ever told. If he didn't believe her then he wouldn't stop caring for her, wouldn't stop loving her. 'And he had to stop… right?' Hermione sighed, how was she going to convince him when she wasn't even convinced herself?
"Harry, I want to break up."
Harry flinched as if struck, "What, Why?"
"Harry, remember the attack last week?"
Harry nodded.
"They were after me, Harry. They wanted to kill me!" Hermione shuddered, "They laughed and told me what they were going to do to me first, before… Harry it… it scared me."
"Scared?" Harry asked raising a brow, "You didn't look scared."
"I was still worried about you and full of adrenalin. It wasn't until later when I had time to think that it hit me."
Harry shook his head trying to remember, that didn't seem right. He started to ask a question, but Hermione cut him off.
"Harry, they think that with me dead, you'll be an easier target."
"So, you break up with me! That helps how?"
"I can still help you… but from afar."
"Hermione, that doesn't make any sense."
"Harry, stop," She said forcefully. Then after a long silence said more timidly, "I'm afraid… I don't want to die." Hermione was crying now and still hadn't looked at him. Tears ran down her cheeks and dripped onto her hands as she wrung them together, she couldn't continue this much longer.
Harry couldn't believe his ears, Hermione, his girlfriend, the smartest, bravest, and the most caring girl he knew was breaking up with him… because she was afraid! "No way, that can't be the reason. What did Dumbledore say to you?"
Hermione looked up quickly and then just as quickly turn away again. She started to panic, Harry wasn't buying it, he didn't believe her, and he suspected Dumbledore. "Dumbledore, what does he have to do with anything?"
"What I mean is, all this started after your meeting with him."
Hermione put on her best poker face and looked right at Harry. "That's just a coincidence, he only wanted to know more about the attack and if we were alright." She had never lied to Harry before and she hoped that he would realize that and believe her now.
Harry sat there staring at Hermione waiting for her to say more even though he knew she wasn't going to. He also knew she wasn't telling him the truth, or at least not the whole truth. It didn't add up and you didn't have to be Merlin to see it. She knew that as a Muggle-born the Death Eaters would still come after her sooner or later even if she wasn't connected to him. Plus, that whole fear thing, she didn't seem to be afraid right after the fight or even a little later, which brought Harry's thoughts back to Dumbledore. 'She can't even look at me,' he thought, but it didn't matter, he could read her body language. Harry knew Hermione better than anyone, maybe even better than she knew herself. She was holding something back, something she didn't think she could tell him.
Harry tried again, "Hermione, you know you can tell me anything. What's really going on? This doesn't sound like you at all."
There was a long moment of silence as Hermione used the time to regain her control. She knew Harry wasn't buying her story, she'd have to try something else. Hermione looked up into Harry's eyes; those beautiful green eyes, oh how she was going to miss them. However, as painful as it was she knew she had to do this, it was for the best, it was for Harry… even though he would never know, "Harry, it's not just dying…" Hermione sighed and looked away, "I know I'll probably… die sooner than most, but before I do, I want more…"
Confused, Harry asked, "More what?" While getting a little annoyed.
"More out of life because we both know time may be short. I want to do other things, see… other people," she added, slowly and so quietly it was almost a whisper. There it was; it was in his eyes and it was written all over his face, first anger but then quickly followed by pain and sadness.
"Other people?" Harry asked slowly as if he couldn't believe his ears.
"Yes, Harry, other people."
"But I thought you… that you loved me," Harry said almost in a whisper.
"Harry we're young, things change… feelings change. I do still care for you, but…"
"But what, Hermione, I thought we had something… something special." Harry said a little louder than he meant, thinking about his own feelings for a moment and forgetting momentarily that there might be more to the story.
"Harry, I've given you all I can. I can't… I just can't do it anymore," Hermione said with a bit of forced anger in her tone. "You're the boy-who-lived… I don't want to become the girl-who-died." Harry started to say something, but she quickly cut him off while standing up, "Harry, I don't want to die for you. We're over, just get used to it." She finished abruptly, then turned and hurried up the stairs to her dorm and away from Harry before she lost it.
Harry just sat there in a daze, 'What the bloody hell just happened,'he thought. Hermione was gone, she didn't want to be with him anymore. What would he do now? Who would he confide in and more importantly, how would he get by without her? Harry was lost, his whole world had turned upside down and was spinning out of control. All he could think about was that Hermione was gone. "I need time to think," Harry said out loud to nobody. Luckily for both Harry and Hermione nobody in the common room had seen or heard the breakup. Of course, none of their friends were there at the time, so the few people that were there really weren't paying attention. Harry now alone with his thoughts tried to figure out what really happened. 'I don't care what she says,' Harry thought, 'she's hiding something. There's more to this, there just has to be.' Or at least Harry hoped.
~oOoOo~
After saying goodbye to Luna, Seamus and Neville left the Great Hall were on their way back to the common room. "What you think is going on with Harry and Hermione?" Neville asked as they paused outside the portrait door.
"Don't know… really strange though, isn't it?"
As Seamus was finishing, the portrait opened, and Ron stepped out.
"Yeah, kind of sudden too," Neville added. Then noticing Ron standing there and listening, he asked, "Need something?"
"You two talking about Harry and Hermione?"
Neville glanced at Seamus before answering, "Yeah, you know something?"
"Well, those two can both be kind of nutters sometimes," Ron said with a smirk before shaking his head and walking off.
As they stepped through the portal into the common room Seamus saw Harry sitting alone deep in thought. "Come on," he suggested, nodding towards Harry. Neville nodded and followed him over.
Harry noticed the two Gryffindors heading his way. 'Not now,' he thought and stood up to leave.
"Oi, Harry," Seamus yelled, we were just… Seamus stopped when he saw the look on Harry's face.
"Harry… you okay mate?" Neville asked with a concerned voice.
Harry sighed, "No… no I'm not," and without even looking at them he hurried past and walked away, heading for the portrait hole. He had to find a place to be alone so he could think, or maybe not think.
Ron who had forgotten something, past Harry on his way back in. looking at Neville as he walked by said, "See? told you, mental."
"Ron, he looked pretty upset, I wouldn't call that mental."
Ron just shrugged, "Yeah, maybe… whatever." He left Neville standing there as he made his way up to the dorms.
Neville watched Harry make his way out. 'Best to give him some space for now,' he thought. Neville knew Harry could be very moody when things were bothering him, and by the faraway look on his face, something was really bothering him.
~oOoOo~
Lavender was sitting on Parvati's bed with her, talking about class and guys, mostly about guys. Suddenly, Hermione burst in, she was trembling, and her eyes were starting to tear up.
"Hermione, my God, what happened?" Parvati said as she jumped up and raced over to her.
Hermione couldn't talk. The emotional toll from what she had just done to Harry was finally boiling over and she couldn't stop it. She was shaking like a leaf and had started to cry. She shook her head and latched onto Parvati who took her in her arms and held her while she sobbed.
"Maybe I should go get Madam Pomfrey," Lavender said. She may not have cared very much for her roommate, but Hermione was obviously distraught.
Hermione pulled away and yelled, "No!" Then with a hitch in her voice added, "Please don't… I don't want anybody else to see me like this. I don't want anybody to know."
"Know what?" Lavender asked.
Hermione opened her mouth to say something but couldn't.
Parvati, worrying about her friend, asked Hermione, "Can you tell me?"
Hermione stared at Parvati for a moment before blurting out, "I broke up with Harry."
"What?"
"Parvati, Lavender, please, I beg you, don't tell Harry that I was crying, or that I was upset… Please!"
"Why?"
"He can't know, nobody can… please."
"Okay."
"Lavender?"
"Sure."
"Swear!" She pleaded while looking at both of them.
"I swear," they both answered together.
"Thank you," was all Hermione said as she made her way to bed.
Lavender, gave Parvati a look that said, 'What the hell,' then said, "Well, I guess I'll turn in." After another look over her shoulder at Hermione, she shook head confused and added, "See you in the morning."
"Okay," replied Parvati softly. Stepping over to Hermione's bed she knelt down just as Hermione was about to pull the hangings closed. "Hermione, can I get you anything?"
Hermione gave her a weak smile and shook her head no, "Thanks, I just need to sleep."
Parvati nodded, "Yeah, okay."
Parvati stood and started for her own bed, then paused as she thought of something else. Ginny, even though she was a year younger was probably Hermione's best friend. Parvati left the dorm in search of her, they needed to talk. Maybe together they could find a way to help Hermione.
Ginny had been shocked to hear the news and had readily agreed to help. Later, as she lay in bed, she couldn't help the thoughts that ran through her head, like; how Harry and Hermione were so good for each other. How they were always taking care of each other. And how they knew each other so well, like fixing the other's meal for them without even thinking about it. Or the way they would finish each other's sentences, just like Fred and George. I know they're in love.' Ginny thought, then sighed and rolled over closing her eyes, 'At least I thought they were.' She finally decided it must have been something that Harry had done to make Hermione breakup with him, why else would she be so upset.