Part 5
Healer Williams noticed Harry's distracted mood immediately when he came to check up on his charge the following day. It was still warm enough for the picnic blanket, but Harry had opted to wear a jumper instead of just a t-shirt, and Dobby served hot drinks and heartier snacks.
"Everything went well yesterday, then?" Williams asked as he ran his diagnostics. "You had a good time with your friend?"
"Er, yeah."
Harry's light flush prompted Williams to prod for more information. "Oh, I see. Was it a date, even?"
"Kind of. Yes. As friends. I mean ... her father gave me the shovel talk as a joke, and somehow it happened when we talked about it." Harry shrugged. "Going out with her was nice. I asked if next time could be a date, as well."
Williams' smile got wider. "She must be something special."
"She is." Harry enthusiastically told him all about Hermione's muggle school education and the fact that she actually had a black belt in martial arts. "She said I could learn this, too, and lent me a book on krav maga. The pictures look wicked. Can I try?"
"As far as I'm concerned, you can study whatever catches your fancy, especially if it's self-defence," Healer Williams replied. "I'll consult with Gringotts, maybe they'll be able to arrange for a teacher next summer. Since that's more than a year away, your Hermione might be willing to teach you the basics."
"She already said she'd teach me swimming," Harry said. "I don't want her to have to teach me everything." He picked at the hem of his sleeve. "If I could teach her something in return, I wouldn't feel so dumb."
"You're not dumb. You just told me that she's exceptionally gifted - there's no sense in comparing yourself to her, at least not in that regard. You have other strengths ... and I bet you hardly even notice." At Harry's questioning look, Williams clarified, "You pick up new spells quickly. That's a talent right there. You can help her with charms and spells and even teach her the ones you've learned over the summer. I'd say that's a fair exchange."
"Oh. Do you think so? She's usually pretty quick, though."
"Working together is always more fun," Williams said with a smile. "And considering how distracted you are today, spending more time with her won't exactly be a hardship for you."
"Er, no." Harry chewed on his lower lip for a moment. "But I shouldn't, or Ron would flip."
"Ron is your other best friend, yes? Why don't you tell me a little about him? How did you meet?"
Harry described how he'd almost missed the train in first year and went on to sketch their adventures during the two years at Hogwarts. "Ron's completely different from Hermione," he concluded, "and he doesn't like homework much. He teases her for studying a lot but wants her to help him because she's so good. I told him to knock it off, but that's not gonna change him, even if he's not saying anything to her. Still, he's a good friend. And I might need him for ... you know. Perspective."
"Do you feel that you need perspective?" Williams asked curiously. "Or rather, that you need his perspective?"
"How do you mean?" Harry frowned and took a sip of his hot elf berry cider.
"Well, you seem to be a curious kid. You like to read your books and learn new things. In short, you're motivated to move forward in life and find your place among your peers. Your friend Ron, however ... forgive me if that sounds a little callous ... from what you told me about him so far, he seems like someone who's content to get by with minimal effort and pursue his hobbies otherwise."
"Well ... maybe. But there's nothing wrong with that, Brady," Harry defended his friend.
"Of course not," Williams agreed. "To each their own. It only becomes an issue when a friend like that tries to keep you from doing what you want to achieve for yourself. Take Hermione for example: she likes to study and does very well in school, right? But since that's not on par with Ron's goals, he's teasing her and even trying to get her to help finish his own work. But he's not doing anything to help her in return, or enrich her experience as a student. At least that's my impression, so please correct me if I'm wrong." When Harry couldn't refute this claim, Williams asked, "Would you say that's fair?"
"You know I wouldn't," Harry sighed. "I know what you're trying to say. I shouldn't let others drag me down."
"More than that, you shouldn't allow others to drag you down," Williams said. "And especially not because they're your best friend. Making you feel guilty or bad because you won't spend all of your time with them is not a sign of a good friendship, Harry, and using that as leverage to make you give in is petty."
"He doesn't really do that," Harry countered. "He's got a couple of other friends he can do stuff with if I really need to do homework."
"But surely that's not always the case," Williams prodded.
"Well, no. Sometimes he just wants to do things with them because he wants to."
"And what do you do when he's busy with them?" Williams asked, gently. "Does he invite you along?"
"Dunno, not really. But that's alright, I'm doing my homework then." Harry shrugged. "It's working out okay."
"But it's not exactly healthy, to be picked up and discarded like a toy when it suits him," Williams said. "I'm not saying he's a bad kid or anything. But he is quite clearly influencing your performance at school. You're a good student and not seeing this reflected on your report card is worrying. You're capable of much more and you should give yourself permission to pursue an education you will be able to be proud of. It's quite clear to me that you're allowing him to dictate when to play and when to study. Tell me, does he listen to you when you want to decide what to do?"
"Uhm, not very often. He's whining a lot when I want to go to the library." Harry was suddenly gripped by an intense sense of loss as the full breadth of what Healer Williams was saying hit him. "I don't want to lose Ron as a friend," he said. His grip on the mug became so tight that his fingers started to hurt. "Even if he's not perfect."
"None of us are," Williams soothed him."You don't have to lose him."
"But you were just telling me that he's not really good for me." Harry stiffly set the mug down. "How is that not telling me to drop him, more or less?"
Williams smiled slightly. "I'll never tell you what to do in your personal relationships. It is, however, my job to make you questionyour personal relationships from time to time. You constantly question your relationships with adults because of your upbringing, even if you want to trust them, and that is more than fair. However, through our talks I've discovered that you have difficulty doing the same with kids."
"I do not! My cousin is a nightmare and some students at school aren't any better!" Harry said hotly. "I know exactly who's a bully and who's not."
"But that is all," Williams replied evenly. "If they're not hunting or hitting you, you don't really know how to interact with other kids. It's terrible and your relatives deserve a good bollocking for it, but let's get it out in the open, yes? People your age are blanks for you, Harry, if they've not clearly labelled themselves as threats. Growing up without friends damaged your interpersonal skill development, meaning that you have difficulties sussing out the kids' characters. Strong personalities are obviously easier for you to grasp, hence your friendship with Ron and Hermione. Both have personalities I'd describe as rather dominant. As long as everything is seemingly out in the open, you seem to be able to deal with it well. What you're lacking a bit is the ability to differentiate."
"That sounds really bad." Harry looked down. "I'm a right basket case, am I not? It's scary how you seem to look right into me."
"Life has challenged you," Williams admitted, "but you're in no way a basket case. And as to me looking right into you: that's what I've been studying several years for. I want to help, and if I ever overstep, just let me know. It's not my intention to hurt you, ever."
"Well, it does hurt a little to be told things like that, but you're right. I don't really know how to meet people. Or how to make a good impression. Maybe ... can you explain how to get to know people better? And ..." Harry took a deep breath. "And can you tell me how I can have more time for school? And, uh, Hermione?"
"Yes, of course." Williams smiled encouragingly. "We'll talk about allof that and you'll understand that you can be friends with someone without giving in to their every demand. It's about balance."
"Can I tell Hermione that she's bossy?" Harry asked hopefully. "Because she is! She's always badgering us to go to the library more often and stuff."
That made Healer Williams laugh out loud. Then, he proceeded to explain to Harry what a double standard was and how it applied to Ron's demand for fun times which Harry rarely resisted, and Hermione's demand for proper school work, which he mostly rebuffed without much regret.
When their day was done, Harry's head was so full with new information that he forgot his growling stomach, just dipped into the cystern - due to the uncertain weather now placed in the master bathroom - and then went to bed.
oOo
Monday was the second day of Harry's full fast. He was a little hungry, but the crammed feeling in his mind had lessened overnight and he finally felt up to re-reading and answering his godfather's letter.
Hello Sirius,
I'm glad that you're feeling a little better already. The blue potion is okay, but my favourite is the vitamin booster because it tastes like real strawberries. My healers gave me a book about goblin potions; as soon as I have an extra potions kit I'll try them out. My healers told me they'll test them rigorously before allowing me to use them, but I hope I'll be good enough to make my own stuff soon. Without Snape to ruin it, it's an interesting subject, don't you think?
It's good that you want to move into the cottage while I'm gone. Dobby, the house elf I wrote about in my first letter, wants to go to Hogwarts with me, but Betty will be glad to have someone to care for. Other than your own stuff for entertainment, everything should be taken care of. But if you need anything, please let Betty, Sharptooth or me know. Until then do your best to ignore the Dursleys. They're horrid, but with goblin wards around the room no one will find you in the trunk.
I had a long talk with Healer Williams yesterday. He told me that I need to watch out for myself more, so I won't slack off too much in school. He's right, I guess, since my report cards for first and second year weren't all that great. Sorry about that, by the way. I'll do better next year, I promise.
Get well soon,
Harry
Folding and sealing the missive for later delivery, Harry contemplated what he should do with the rest of his day. Healer Williams wanted to stop by in the evening and bring a snake for a visit, but other than that his only tasks were keeping up with the fast and using the cystern whenever he felt like it.
A light rain was keeping him indoors so he decided on reading more in the goblins' potions book. His shopping list for a second potions kit was complete and he knew that Dobby was holding out on buying it until Voldemort's shade was gone from Harry's scar. It was an incentive and worked surprisingly well; he hadn't moaned about not being able to eat Dobby's cooking once today.
In the late afternoon, he'd just finished tinkering with his potions things in the stillroom, there was a loud hiss coming from the open door.
"Hello?" he called.
"It's just me, Harry," Healer Williams replied and appeared in the doorway. Around his neck he carried a large boa constrictor. "He smelled you as soon as we landed here and insisted to meet you immediately. Say hello to Portos."
"Hello, Portos," Harry said, stepping close to let the snake touch his fingers with its forked tongue. "Welcome to my home."
"You smell nice, hatchling," the snake informed him, "but your garden is empty. No rats or gnomes to be found."
"I'm sorry, I hope you're not too hungry." Laughing, Harry accepted the boa's foray onto his shoulders and helped him settle comfortably around his neck. "Wow, you're a big guy. Your scales look beautiful."
"They do," Portos agreed smugly. "I have many mates in the snake house."
Harry and Williams shared a mirthful look before deciding to repair to the living room for the visit. Dobby had already prepared refreshments and even a small morsel for the snake guest.
"How are you feeling?" Williams asked when the pouring of tea and plating of sandwiches was out of the way. "Do you feel a difference after almost a week of daily cleansing and fasting?"
"I think so," Harry said. "I've got a headache most of the time and there have been a few nightmares. Since yesterday evening, I can hardly concentrate."
"So you're ready to let the Dark Lord's shade go?"
"I'm so ready," Harry promised. "I can't wait. Are we still leaving tomorrow afternoon?"
"Yes, Healer Spleenbash needs to do her checks, and you'll have to donate blood for the ritual. Your steward will be on hand to oversee its use, as you'll be busy otherwise."
"I can trust Gringotts not to misuse my blood, right?" Harry asked, just because he felt he should.
"You'll sign a contract and accept a vow. Magic will punish such a breach most harshly." Williams smiled. "You were very comfortable speaking parseltongue just now. I'm glad."
"I don't even know why," Harry said. "When I tried to open the secret passage to the Chamber of Secrets in Hogwarts, I needed to see the snake carving on the sink before I could speak."
"It might be because you feel better about it now than you did then," Williams offered. "It's a good thing in any case because I planned on leaving Portos here until it's time for us tomorrow to leave for Gringotts."
"You trust me with one of Gringotts' snakes?" Harry asked.
"The snakes there aren't prisoners," Williams explained. "Portos smelled you on me last night and decided that he wanted to meet you."
"Is that true?" Harry asked the snake and gently touched the glossy, triangular head. "Why?"
"Because you feel nice," was the sleepy reply. "Feel safe and warm."
"He wasn't the only one," Williams teased. "But the head breeder put his foot down and told the others to wait their turn."
"I don't know what to say to that." Harry stroked the snake a couple of times. "But he's welcome to stay for the night." To Portos, he said, "Would you like to visit the garden properly before coming in for the night?"
"I would," Portos hissed. "Let your elf take me out. I'll show him where plants go to attract garden gnomes."
"Do I even need gnomes?" Harry wondered and Healer Williams laughed.
"Your godfather might enjoy tossing them," Williams said and snagged another sandwich. "Right now, the property is warded against any and all pests. It's up to you to decided what sort may enter and what has to stay away."
"Really? Cool! I'll talk with Dobby and make the change. Er, if that's okay before tomorrow."
"It would not harm the ritual," Williams said. "How are you feeling, besides being a bit downtrodden from the fast? Was our talk too much yesterday?"
Harry chewed on his lower lip briefly before confessing, "It was a lot. And it's hard learning unpleasant things about yourself. I feel a bit ... I dunno. Raw."
"I'm sorry," Williams said quietly. "It wasn't my intention to upset you. It's obvious that you care a great deal about your friends."
"But you were right. I can care about them and still see their faults and call them out on it." Harry sighed. "It was just a bit much to, you know, see all at once." He then frowned, a little piqued. "Also, I can't believe I didn't notice it myself."
"That's what I mean by reflecting on your relationships." Williams set his plate down. "Sometimes we need to take a step back and just observe. It's hard because friendships engage all of us: our mind, heart, and emotions. Add being a teenager to all of that and it becomes very difficult to keep a cool head and re-orient. You remember the trick for that?"
"Set yourself goals you want to achieve and plan for time and energy accordingly. Surround yourself with people who have similar goals, but make time for friends who don't. Defend your time for your goals and only rarely allow exceptions," Harry recited dutifully. "Revise your goals periodically and see if they remain the same or have change. Adjust your schedule accordingly."
"Very good! Have you thought about it?"
"All afternoon," Harry said with a wry little grin. "I bet Hermione does this in her sleep."
"That might well be. Do you agree with it?" Williams asked.
"I guess so. It makes sense to put myself first, since it's myeducation. But I don't know how to deal with it if Ron gets real moody or something." Harry shrugged lightly, taking care not to upset Portos too much. "Maybe I'll need one of those weekly planner things to set up times for study and play."
"It's not a bad idea at all. You'll have to find out what time works for which endeavor. Studying might be better at night for you, or during the day. There's no need to stress yourself out right away by keeping to an arbitrary schedule. Set away hours and allot them as the opportunities present themselves. If it's not a good fit, change it around until you're comfortable with the routine."
"That doesn't sound too difficult. Er, Brady ..." Harry hesitated. "How are we doing this when I'm back at school? I, eh, didn't like this much in the beginning, but I think it does help, now. Talking to you, I mean."
"I'm glad," Williams said. "And of course I'll still be available to you. I propose letters, since meeting personally might tip off Dumbledore. Your Dobby can take your letters to Gringotts as he pops over to collect your mail."
"Hedwig would be too conspicious, anyway." Harry frowned. "The poor girl is really put out with Dobby and I for taking away her job."
A sly look came over Healer Williams' face. "Hm, I might just have an idea to help with that. Would you be willing to invest a few galleons?"
"Sure. What is it?" Harry asked.
"Well, Gringotts has a few post owls for special deliveries and such, and they require an amulet to do their work. One of the amulets' settings is camouflage. Not merely changing her appearance, but her magical signature as well. It would require some extensive charm work to make one for Hedwig, but it might be worth it."
"Oh, could you really arrange it?" Harry asked hopefully. "I'd love to send her without being worried that someone might snatch her."
"I'll certainly try," Williams replied. "It might take a while, though, so don't be too impatient. And now on to something completely delightful: magic!" He pulled a small booklet from his pocket and handed it over. "Ever since I taught you that mosquito repelling spell, I thought about teaching you the Australian version of pest repellence. If you're doing it, why not do it right, and we Aussies dohave some of the deadliest pests in the world crawling over the continent."
"What's the difference?" Harry asked, already thumbing through the pages.
"Oooh," Williams hooted, "you'll be so surprised!"
oOo
Harry was still surprised as he lay in bed, thinking about what he'd learned that evening. Portos rested on his stomach and leeched warmth from him, not that Harry minded. His weight was actually comforting.
Spells that hook into your core and power themselves! he repeated silently over and over again. How neat is that?! If I can do that with the pest repellent charm, I'll never have to worry about anything biting me ever again! I could go to the jungle, or even just the Forbidden Forest! Take that, Aragog and Fluffy! Hogwarts might actually be safe for me for once.
The possibilities seemed fantastic and endless and then, when it became apparent that sleep wasn't coming, Harry's thoughts wandered. They wandered into the other direction, poking and prodding at uses for bad people. Maybe it was the unusual activity of Voldemort's shade due to the fasting and cleansings, maybe it was just Harry's natural pessimism, but the more he considered that angle, the worse his agitation became.
Finally, he couldn't stay in bed any longer and went down to the living room.
"Harry Potter sir should be sleeping," Dobby said fretfully, joining Harry in front of the dark fireplace. "It be big day tomorrow!"
"I know, but this thing about spell hooks is keeping me up really badly. I need to ..." Harry aborted twice, but on the third attempt he actually pinched some Floo powder and tossed it into the fireplace. "Gringotts, Healer Williams."
The man's voice came through only a moment later, although he'd obviously been about to go to sleep. "Harry? What is it? Is everything alright?"
"I don't know," Harry said. "I can't stop thinking about those spell hooks."
"Do you need me to come over?"
"Can you?" Harry asked.
"I'll step through, please tell your wards not to boot me to North Africa or something," Williams replied.
Harry withdrew and a second later, Healer Williams rushed out of the fireplace in a small cloud of soot. "How can I help?" he asked without bothering to brush himself off. "Come, let's sit."
Dobby lit a few lamps in the living room and popped away to bring hot chocolate.
"I don't know what's wrong with me," Harry admitted, wringing his hands. "Spell hooks are pretty great, it's just ... when I started thinking about them, I began to wonder if other people can use them without someone knowing. That'd be pretty evil, right?"
"It might be the Dark Lord's shade turning your attention more than usual to the darker aspects," Williams said, "but you're right. Spell hooks can be used on other people, and without their consent or knowledge. I'm very sorry I didn't think it through before teaching you about them. Please forgive me."
Harry waved that away. "It's really cool and I'll probably use them, it's just ... how can you find out whether someone put a hook in you? Won't you notice?"
"If what you really want to know is whether you have spell hooks anchored in your core right now, then the answer is no. If you've had them, they have disintegrated after being bitten by the basilisk, as the venom is highly corrosive to magic. Otherwise you wouldn't have been able to destroy Tom Riddle's diary with that tooth. And Gringotts hasn't found anything of the sort during your first thorough check, so no one spelled you after that."
"Oh. Phew, I'm relieved." Harry took a deep breath. "Thanks."
"Maybe you shouldn't be," Williams admitted cautiously. "Magic is appallingly easy to use against other people, and spell hooks can be terrible things. I don't know if someone told you about them already, but there is one unforgivable curse that hooks into a wizard's core and makes them do everything the caster wants him to. It's called the imperious curse. There is no known defence against it."
"Everything?" Harry asked, horrified. "Even something like murder?"
"Yes, even murder. But there are worse things than killing humans can do to each other: they can make you have sexual relations with someone you hate, they can make you give them all your money, they can make you destroy all your friendships or your family. The curse is unforgivable for a reason, because it is very, very hard to fight against the compulsion, and because it always stays active, just waiting for its master to utter the next command." Williams took a breath. "The awareness of the victim can be as concrete as the caster wants it to be; a sadist can make it so the victim knows and experiences every atrocity done to them, or by them, while being unable to fight against it. The victims become prisoners in their own bodies. It's the worst kind of torture."
"Worse than the cruciatus curse?" Harry asked quietly. "I've got a friend whose parents were tortured to insanity."
"The Longbottoms, yes," Williams said just as quietly. "You may think differently, of course, but to me, being used like a puppet is a thousand times worse than experiencing pain, no matter how bad that pain is. The imperious curse is rape in many horrifying ways and I hope that you'll never be subjected to it."
Harry's chest ached. "Yeah, I hope so, too. Is it even possible to get rid of spell hooks?"
Collecting himself, Williams nodded. "Yes. The goblins can detect and remove them, and even harvest the magical signature of the caster. I wish I could tell you that everyone went to have regular checks, or even just the members of the government, but the truth is that no one really thinks about things like that."
"But they should! Voldemort is coming back, I know it!" Harry got up and paced a few steps. "I don't want people to use magic against me, especially not him."
"There are a couple of shield charms and such that can stop low level magic, but the stronger spells would still get through."
"But I'd know, right?" Harry demanded. "I'd know if someone used magic on me behind my back, even if the shield charm were too weak to stop it?"
Healer Williams looked at Harry like he was seeing some kind of apparition. "A magic detecting ward would do that, but Harry ... those spells are a bit much for someone your age. I'll scan you as often as you like, but you're riling yourself up and it isn't good for you."
"I won't feel safe until I can know when someone's hexing me," Harry retorted stubbornly. "Maybe I don't need to know how to do those spells tonight, but after that ritual tomorrow I need to learn, okay? Please teach me."
"I will," Williams promised and sighed at the boy's stubbornly set jaw. "I will, Harry. Please, allow me or Dobby to cast a sleeping charm on you so you'll be rested tomorrow."
"Dobby can do it," Harry said, impulsively grabbing the man's hand and squeezing it. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," Williams replied quietly. "I wish you didn't have to think about things like that, but I'll help you prepare for them."
They drank their elf berry lemonade and went their separate ways afterwards. Back in bed, Dobby put Harry in a charmed sleep and only woke him when their departure to Gringotts was imminent.
oOo
"This is super uncomfortable," Harry told the goblins in the ritual chamber and frowned. While the blood letting and signing of contracts had taken hours, it was still better than standing in a huge ritual chamber and freezing his bits off. "Do I have to be starkers?"
"For the last cleanse before the ritual, yes. We've been over this. Twice," Healer Spleenbash told him unapologetically. "Please shed the robe and step into the cystern, Heir Potter."
"Why are you all in here, anyway?" he groused. "Where's Brady?"
"It's not appropriate for a human adult male to supervise this procedure when there are other options available," Healer Spleenbash informed Harry tartly. "Now stop tarrying and get on with it, youngling. We're on a schedule."
Pouting, Harry handed his robe to Dobby and quickly did as he was told. "I still don't like it."
"You can growl about it later," she called over the sudden rush of the magical mist. "Relax and let the magic do its work."
Harry closed his eyes and tried to ignore the almost pulling sensation in his scar which was answered by a long-lasting, stabbing pain. Sorry, you won't be able to get this taint out, he thought at the magic. Nice try, though. I really felt that.
The mist swished around him almost smugly and soon after dissipated.
"That didn't take long at all. Good! You may paint the runes," Healer Spleenbash called to her colleagues.
Half a dozen goblins swarmed around Harry and tortured him with tickling brushes until his whole body was covered in blood red magical symbols. While they were at it, they were chanting something in their language. The whole thing was so absurd that Harry quite forgot to feel ashamed.
When it was done and all of the paint had magically dried in a flash, Healer Spleenbash allowed Harry to don a robe so delicate that the fabric might as well have been woven from spider silk. "Now come into the circle. Everything is ready."
The goblin healers helped Harry lie down on the floor. It was cushioned with magic and felt like the softest bed imaginable. Having the goblin version of an immobilus charm then cast on him felt very uncomfortable in contrast, although Harry had known about that in advance, too.
"Relax, youngling. All will be well." Healer Spleenbash gently touched his hair once and retreated to her place in the circle.
An old goblin, the leader of the ritual, spoke in the harsh sounding goblin language. Abruptly, the torches flared and then flickered until the light became very dim. More words followed, echoing in the chamber in a seemingly endless chant.
Not being able to turn his head, Harry could nonetheless see the magic rise from the runes in golden sparks. They whirled around as if dancing in the wind and slowly collected in a pool not unlike a little sun right over his body.
Here it comes, he thought as the goblin chant reached a crescendo and the light above him started to writhe and pulse. Time to go, Tom!
The little sun shivered, went still ... and then a bright beam burst forth, right down onto Harry's forehead.
He knew himself to be screaming, but for that short moment of consciousness there was nothing but a certain sense of bewilderment, like he'd gone on without any of his body's sensations.
Then, everything went dark.
oOo
Harry awoke to the not so strange feeling of someone holding his hand and stroking it gently. He had plenty of experiece with Hermione doing just that as he recovered from his adventures at Hogwarts.
"Hey kiddo," a rough voice greeted him. "Don't try to find your glasses. The healers said your eyes need a break."
From Harry's other side, Healer Williams' voice said, "Just relax, Harry. Everything went well. Voldemort's shade put up a fight, but it is gone now. All you need to do now is sleep."
The stroking thumb never lost its rhythm and Harry felt himself sink back into slumber.
oOo
When he woke again, he felt much better. Both his hands were free, and after finding his glasses, he instantly recognized the man sleeping in an armchair by his bedside.
"Sirius?" he whispered, half afraid of waking his godfather and actually having to talk to him.
"Let him sleep," Healer Williams advised. "He's still very weak."
"Why is he here?" Harry asked.
"Apparently his godparent bond with you alerted him that something magically monumental was happening. He called for Dobby until your elf went to get him." Williams sighed. "He made himself nearly sick with worry. Stupid of us not to take his connection to you into account."
Drowsy, Harry studied his godfather. Despite the exhaustion and greyness marring his face, he was uncommonly handsome. "He's young."
"Only thirty-three," Williams confirmed quietly. "The same age your parents would be, had they lived."
"Can I hold his hand?" Harry could barely take his eyes off the man to look beseechingly at Healer Williams.
"Of course. He won't mind. Here, I'll push him a little closer to the bed ..."
"Will he really be fine?" Harry asked, grasping the too-thin fingers like a lifeline.
"He'll need a lot of councelling when the work on his body is finished," Williams said kindly and a little sadly. "Losing years like that is deeply traumatic, so please don't hold it against him if he gets irrational or angry or scared. It's not his fault, okay?"
"I know that. It's alright." Harry fought against the sting of tears in his eyes. "I just wish none of this had ever happened."
"A lot of people do." Williams patted Harry's shoulder, handed him a potion to drink and then left him alone to rest some more.
oOo
Every time Harry woke, it became easier. He felt a little unbalanced and his magic was wobbly when he tried to charm his bedside lamp to shine a little more brightly. This was greatly made up by the fact that he and his godfather apparently clicked really well and talk between them came effortlessly.
"You need a new wand," Sirius told him. He sat at the end of Harry's bed and had one hand on Harry's socked foot. He never was far away, which clearly soothed his ravaged spirit. "Brother wand to the Dark Lord, only you're no longer his brother, are you?"
These words, right there, did a lot to lift Harry's somewhat maudling spirits. "I guess you're right. But if I buy a new one at Ollivander's, people will surely know." Harry frowned. "I don't want people sticking their nose in my business."
Sirius grinned. "You sound just like your mother. She disliked people questioning her. Intensely."
"Where else can I get a new wand?"
"There are wand makers all over the world, kiddo," Sirius said. "France, Ireland, Spain, Italy ... it's a matter of preference, really, because they all know what they're doing. But why don't you nib down to your family vault first and have a look at your family's wands? There's quite a collection."
"I can't," Harry scowled. "Dumbledore has barred me from entering until I'm of age."
Sirius' smile vanished and his scowl was even fiercer than Harry's. "I didn't know that. But nevermind the old codger; I have a vault or two of my own and a lot of wands to choose from. There might just be a good fit among them."
"Are you strong enough for that?" Harry asked anxiously. "I don't want you to set your recovery back even more because of me."
A heartbreaking expression came over Sirius' face. "I gave up on you once, I won't do it again. I have to be by your side."
"Because of magic?" Harry wanted to know in a small voice.
"Yes. Because I've loved you more than even your parents ever since your father put you in my arms," Sirius replied hoarsely. "I swore an oath to always protect you and care for you and nothing, nothing at all, has changed on my end. I love you, even if I don't know you very well yet, and I need to make it right."
Harry wiped at his damp eyes and sniffed. "You're doing fine so far."
"Can I have a hug?" Sirius asked hopefully, his grey eyes just as wet as Harry's.
Instead of giving an answer, Harry scrambled over and wound his arms tightly around the man's ribcage. Sirius was still thin, but slowly the grey tinge to his skin was vanishing and there was some strength to his embrace.
For a long while, they just sat and held each other, basking in the feel of their magic and renewing the bond that had been strained for more than a decade.
oOo
It took another half day of rest and potions but Harry was finally cleared to leave the healers' wing. Sirius, insisting that he was fine but agreeing to Healer Williams' presence just in case, took Harry on a long cart ride through Gringotts' tunnel system and made a show of opening his vault door. He introduced Harry as his heir to the family magics which was a wild experience in itself, though not as harrowing as it apparently could have been.
"You've got no Black blood in you by birth, however, I kind of blood adopted you in addition to swearing the godfather oath," Sirius explained, a little shiftily, "so it's not like the family magic could actually snub you, pup. Welcome to the Dog Cave!" He gestured at the vast, overflowing vault. The goblin with them respectfully stayed by the cart, although his little eyes were lit up. "Whatever you need, I probably have it ... somewhere among all the gold. No, wait, don't talk to the portraits, those do not bring anyone any joy ..." Sirius left Healer Williams standing outside the vault and wandered to a heavy wooden chest. After looking inside, he beckoned Harry over. "Here they are. Wands from generations of cunning and bloodthirsty witches and wizards. Have fun!"
Harry tried not to look too often at Sirius harassing the mentioned portraits as he picked up one wand after the other, although their outraged squawks were very funny. Unfortunately, most wands remained disdainfully still in his hand, although a few reacted with jerks and even sparks. None of them felt completely right, however, which was disappointing.
"Hey, I just wondered whether Lord Black might visit the Potter vaults," Williams called from his spot by the door after Harry had put the last wand back. "Might be worth investigating."
"Clever and handsome," Sirius praised, carelessly throwing a tarp over the stack of complaining portraits. "We'll do that right now, if our goblin guide agrees."
The goblin saw no issue with this, but Harry, mindful of his godfather's weak constitution, decided to ask the healer among them before agreeing. "Can we, Brady? I don't mind waiting a little while if it's better for Sirius."
"The Potter vaults aren't far from here," Williams replied, "and their security won't do him any harm if he's not permitted to enter. If it doesn't work right away, there's also the option of going through the account managers. Magic might accept him if the goblins' legal team decrees it so. There is just one thing ... the Potter family magic might interact greatly with you both. It might be overwhelming. Lord Black, are you certain that you want to do this now? There is still time before school starts."
"I won't wait," Sirius said. "My kid needs a working wand and I ... I need to say goodbye."
"Think carefully about it, Lord Black. It might hurt you badly emotionally," Williams urged.
"Maybe it will." Sirius' eyes were hard and his mouth unsmiling. "I'll deal with it. It's no less than I deserve."
"Lord Black ..."
"Save it, Healer Williams. Let's go."
Sirius wasn't well in body, but he certainly was eager to get going. Even Harry recognized the coping mechanism behind it and once more felt awful for the man. Still, he was excited and a bit apprehensive about sort of meeting his family through their magic.
"It's completely normal to feel conflicted," Healer Williams murmured as they followed Harry's godfather and their guide through the tunnel. "I think it'll be a good experience for you; Dumbledore should have allowed you to connect with your family magic much sooner."
"Here we are," Sirius called. "Our vaults are practically neighbours, Harry."
That made Harry smile.
"Go, stand by him and let him guide you," Williams said and gave Harry a gentle push. "Remember, your family loved you very much, the magic won't hurt you."
Heart hammering in his chest, Harry pressed against Sirius' side and gratefully accepted his godfather's arm around his shoulders. "What do we do now?"
"We're saying hello," Sirius said, voice sounding a little strangled. "Brace yourself."
Together, they stepped forward and put their hands flat against the massive door of the vault. Immediately, magic flared up and enveloped them both in the kind of embrace that made eyes tear up and hearts skip a beat or two. Love like nothing Harry had ever felt before flooded him, reaching into every part of him, body, mind, and soul. It seemed to swirl around his scar for a moment before bursting and showering both him and Sirius in pretty golden sparks.
Harry began to cry in earnest, clutching his grief-stricken godfather. Both their legs gave out and they sank to the ground.
"Oh dear," Healer Williams murmured and approached carefully. "I'm sorry."
"N-not your fault," Harry stammered and tried to stem the flood of tears. "I'm not sad."
"I am," Sirius rasped. Keeping one arm tightly around Harry and stretching with the other, he touched the door again. "I'm so sorry, Prongs and Lils."
"We should go back," Healer Williams said gently. "Let's stop for today."
"No." Sirius rubbed his wet cheeks with his sleeves. "We're here, we will do this. I'm sad, not an idiot. I might not be able to do this again."
"Really?" Harry asked. "We don't have to. I'll find a wand somewhere."
"You'll find it here," Sirius countered with conviction. "After this welcome, there's no way your family won't provide for you, pup. Come, let's give it a try. I, Sirius Orion Black, godparent of Harry James Potter, ask for admittance in our heir's time of need."
The magic heaved up again, tangible against their skin and pressing on their minds. Obviously finding what it was looking for, it retreated and the heavy door clanked, signalling that Sirius was welcome to enter. He did so on unsteady legs and with the look of a beaten dog with his tail between its legs.
"It's unfair that you can't enter, but Lord Black will get what you need," Healer Williams consoled Harry. "See, he left the door open as far as it will go so you can have a look."
Carefully, Harry stepped forward. Behind the impenetrable door lay riches beyond his wildest dreams. Not just gold, although there were mountains over mountains of it, but books - journals and photo albums by the look of it - and quite a few portraits.
He was distracted from searching for his parents by Sirius' shout.
"I have about half a dozen wands here! I'll get them and your family grimoire." Moments later, Sirius was back, arms full and cheeks again a little wet. "Let's do this somewhere more comfortable, yeah?"
Harry took the wands from him, grabbed his hand and helped his distraught godfather back to the healers' wing.
"Harry, would it be alright if I stayed with Lord Black while you test the wands?" Healer Williams asked quietly. "I'd like to talk to him for a bit until his mind healer arrives."
"Yes, of course." Harry smiled bravely. "I'll stay right here."
"Thank you. I'll try to be back soon, but call for Dobby or Betty if you need company, alright?"
Once he was alone, Harry spread the seven wands out on his comforter and looked at them. Most were made from dark wood, with very little adornments. One had a crystal embedded in its tip and the only light coloured wand was a little curved and looked like the maker had found a random stick, sanded it until it was smooth, and then sold it as a wand.
Harry took it up first and waved it a little, and while there were a few sparks, there was no connection. The wand with the crystal reacted strongly - too strongly. Harry decided to keep an eye on that one and maybe try again in a couple of years or so, when he had more experience as a wizard. Two of the dark wands didn't react at all, one rolled over in defiance, but the sixth wand sprang to life with a hum and shower of multi-coloured sparks. It even grew warm in Harry's hand.
"You seem nice," Harry said with a smile. "Let's try ... lumos!" Immediately, a bright light flared from the wand's tip, illuminating the room. "Nox." Abruptly, the light vanished. "Accio pillow."
Harry tried at least two dozen of spells until he was satisfied that the wand was truly a good fit for him. Carefully, he set his holly wand next to the new one. The colour and shape weren't terribly different, but they were noticable enough to worry him.
"What should I do now?" he wondered aloud. "I could break you, but that'd be a waste, and also unfair. It's not your fault you're not working out so well for me anymore." Carefully, he stroked along the glossy wood. "Do you have any ideas?"
Of course the wand didn't have an answer for him. His steward, however, did ... after he'd scared the bejeezus out of Harry with his knock at the door.
"Ah, I see that you've already found a new wand," Sharptooth said. He settled in the bedside chair and grinned. "Well, that's one less thing for us to worry about, especially since there's no ministry trace on the wand. You could do magic in the muggle world with it."
"Really? That's wicked!" Harry beamed, only to return to his worried frown. "But what do I do with the old wand? It doesn't like me much anymore but giving it back to Ollivander would alert Professor Dumbledore."
Sharptooth hummed in understanding. "If I may offer a suggestion?"
"Sure, sir," Harry said gratefully.
"Do not do away with your old wand, Heir Potter. Keep it and use it at school."
"I won't get good grades with it," Harry replied, a little indignantly. "I don't want Sirius to be disappointed. Or, uh, Hermione."
"Lord Black would be the first to suggest this exact thing," Sharptooth said. "Can you not guess why?"
"Uhm, well, other than being teased by Malfoy and his friends about being incompetent ... oooh." Harry brightened. "You think people should underestimate me?"
"It'd be a good layer of protection," the goblin said approvingly. "Everybody expects Harry Potter to be an above average student at the very least. Not being seen as very magically competent might take some pressure off you in the long run, and even buy you some time from the Dark Lord's machinations. The deception would have the added benefit of stimulating your magical core to grow faster. Needing more effort to do magic would vastly build up your reserve and enable you to use more magic with your true wand."