When the music starts up again there is something odd about the sound. And of course there are also the cheers in the background.
"What's this video?" Bada asks.
"It is from Minjun's winter trip last year," Minjun's mom supplies. "Although it wasn't quite what he wanted, he was very popular with the boys in his class back then."
Taehyeon supposes he has left his curiosity to prickle at him for long enough. He joins everyone crowded around Nayoon's phone. He doesn't have the best view but he sees a girl dancing to A by the group Rainbow on a makeshift stage. The bass cheers during the chorus drown out the music and the video shakes as the girl onstage pulls up her top to reveal her stomach.
The video ends but Taehyeon doesn't quite understand what the point is. He didn't see Minjun at all. That was probably just because he didn't get the best view of the video. He returns to the table and tries a sandwich he'd seen Bada regarding suspiciously earlier. Minjun's mom is still sitting at the table eating her lunch too.
"Did that video not make Minjun more popular to you?" she asks.
Taehyeon shakes his head. "I couldn't see it very well. What was Minjun doing?"
"Would you like a better view?" she asks.
Taehyeon doesn't really think that the video would be better a second time but the middle schoolers are having fun watching it again and dancing along. Minjun's mom puts her phone in front of Taehyeon and turns it to face him. He watches the video again but he still doesn't see Minjun anywhere. He pushes the phone back and doesn't have much to say to the expectation on the face before him.
"What about now?" she asks.
"I didn't see him," Taehyeon admits.
"The girl," Minjun's mom whispers through cupped hands. She rests her forearms on the table and leans forward. "My handsome boy does scrub up nicely as he is but all the boys at school seemed to like him better like that. I think there was a contest and he won. He's not as pretty as his sister but I doubt any of the other boys came close."
The girl in the video is Minjun. That makes slightly more sense but Taehyeon still isn't sure about the rest of it.
"Minjun was dressed as a girl for a competition? At the winter trip? Is that something we'll get made to do too?"
Taehyeon and Bada are already standing on thin ice with Lee Dongmin accusing them both of being gay. Having to dress up as girls will certainly not help them with an audience of their peers.
"I'm sure competing wouldn't be compulsory. Let's ask Minjun and see." Minjun's mom sits up straighter and raises her arm to gesture as she calls, "Minjun, come to the table."
Taehyeon doesn't see him in the room but a door opens and Minjun emerges with Kyungran. He grins over at his mom and skips over to the tables. Kyungran skips too but she makes her way over to dance with Minah.
After hearing the question for himself, Minjun shakes his head and his hands as though that is enough to make the question disappear.
"No way, it's not something that you have to do. I think in the past they've done normal talent shows and things like that. If you need to know other stuff too, I can tell you."
Minjun gives his mom a pointed look which she accepts with a smile and a wink. She heaves herself from the floor and makes her way over to the not so distant group of the other guests. It is almost as though Kyungran and Minjun's mom are trying their hardest to keep everyone else in the same place. It is strange watching Minjun's mom attempt to distract Bada whilst Mina and Eunkwang are inadvertently pulled into a wrestling match with Kyungran. There is no reason for it that Taehyeon can understand. There is nothing for Taehyeon and Minjun to talk about. The two of them are just friends. A couple of buddies.
"Can you come with me for a few minutes?" Minjun asks.
Despite how he might seem, Taehyeon actually doesn't like having to give himself reality checks every time anything happens. Unfortunately he can't think of a normal excuse so he ends up following Minjun into his bedroom.
Minjun's room is small and cramped with faded wallpaper which ripples near the window. Posters of pop stars and athletes are pasted over the walls, even layering thickly in some places so it seems that new posters were stuck up over pictures that had already faded and crinkled. At the foot of the bed there is a collage of photographs, stickers, receipts, and tickets pinned to a corkboard. The pictures are an assortment of polaroids and printed photographs and Taehyeon recognises a few faces appearing again and again. His own face appears on the corkboard too. The picture isn't the same one as on the birthday banners. Taken on the same day as a photograph Taehyeon would be happy to never see again is a picture of Taehyeon alone in the pink, fluffy field.
Minjun's finger appears over the picture and he wriggles up beside Taehyeon to grin at him. "When I printed the picture off it was fuzzy but you still look great. It was a really nice day, wasn't it?"
"Yes, it was."
"When my wish comes true, the one I made today, can I tell you what it was?" Minjun asks.
"Erm, yeah. If you want."
"And if your wish comes true, will you tell me what it is?" Minjun asks. Taehyeon never made a wish in the first place but he feels like the only answer is to agree. He nods and Minjun smiles so widely that guilt immediately arrives. Minjun doesn't seem to notice. He gazes at the picture with a smile still on his face. "It would be cool if we ended up wishing for the same thing."
Wishing for the same thing would be completely impossible. Taehyeon didn't even make a wish in the first place.
"I'm sorry for not bringing you a present," Taehyeon says instead of admitting that he didn't make a wish when Minjun bought a cake for him.
"That's okay," Minjun says, patting Taehyeon's arm gently. "Don't be silly. You didn't need to get me anything. You're my present, Taehyeon. You know, you're a boy and you want to be my friend. You are my friend. There's nothing that I wanted for my birthday more than that. Thank you for coming to my party."
Taehyeon shouldn't be thanked for any of this. His throat is tight but he manages to say, "I'm glad to be here."
Minjun sighs, a terribly happy sound as he drops down onto his bed. "Because we're friends, we can talk about things, right?"
The expectation in Minjun's face prompts Taehyeon to cautiously take a seat on the bed, wedged between Minjun and a rickety chest of drawers.
"We can."
Minjun scrambles to his knees and shuffles across his bed to the window. He gestures for Taehyeon to follow. He points through the window to the green-roofed houses visible between the closely-built apartment blocks outside.
"Don't tell my mom, but I know that she is getting really close with Mr Park who lives down there. He does odd-jobs and sometimes he gets me to help out with repairs and DIY projects. My sister told me that he's trying to bond with me."
"Oh. That's nice."
"Yeah! He's a nice man. He makes my mom happy even though she pretends it is all nothing special."
"Cool."
"It would be nice if my mom got to have a nice love story after all these years. For all this time she has been just looking after me and my sister. There must be so much that she hasn't done just because she felt responsible."
"Yeah," Taehyeon says. He isn't sure what he is meant to say to any of this.
They're right beside each other and Minjun's arm bumps into Taehyeon. Minjun follows it with a smile and he bumps his head against the window. His sheepish grin is accompanied by a blush. Taehyeon feels like the stupid one. Whilst this isn't the sort of thing Taehyeon expected to hear, this must be what Minjun has been wanting to share with a friend he could tell anything.
"Maybe your mom is just waiting for the right time with Mr Park," Taehyeon suggests. He didn't say it just to see Minjun smile but he can't claim to be unhappy about seeing it. "Instead of feeling responsible for you, maybe your mom is just nervous about… holding hands and things like that."
"You're probably right. Thanks." Minjun presses his cheek to the glass — an ill-advised move in Taehyeon's opinion considering the creeping splotches of blackness around the edges of the pane — and he says, "talking like this is really nice. Obviously I've talked about stuff like this with Kyungran and Nayoon, but this feels different somehow. Is this how it feels with Bada?"
No. This is not how talking to Bada feels at all. No matter how hard Taehyeon tries, he isn't going to be able to be normal about Minjun. Being around Minjun is stressful in general and each event that turns out well leads to more problems Taehyeon isn't emotionally equipped to deal with. Being rejected would be nice. Getting beaten up that first time they actually spoke would have put a stop to all of this. Instead Minjun is strangely innocent and kind to Taehyeon's detriment.
Something needs to happen to put Taehyeon out of his misery. Minjun's smile is gorgeous. This will certainly appear in Taehyeon's daydreams just like all the other smiles turned upon him.
"It's a bit different with Bada," Taehyeon admits. Minjun nods and thoughts are fitted to his face.
"We have more time to practise then. Oh, not today though. You have to leave soon, don't you? Can you take this to Pilgyu when you go to his party?"
Minjun searches on the top of the chest of drawers and hands him a blue envelope decorated with smiley faces and a variety of stickers. It can't be anything other than a birthday card and Taehyeon can't help but wonder why Minjun insists on making him feel bad.
"Didn't you tell him happy birthday in the group chat earlier?"
"I did," Minjun agrees. "But our birthdays are so close. It's only a card I bought the other day. We're practically twins so I thought I should get a card at the very least."
"That's really nice," Taehyeon says, his voice barely leaving his lips. Staring down at the stickers on the envelopes, Taehyeon can only see the thoughtfulness behind them. Taehyeon isn't special. It is another reminder. Taehyeon should be smart enough not to allow his heart to twinge with each new reminder that he is just like everybody else.