Seras checked the time.
"It's almost time for the shift change."
…Already that late?
I headed toward the cave with Seras.
I canceled [Sleep] and woke Eve.
The awakened Eve glanced to the side.
"Is it all right to let Liz keep sleeping like this?"
"Yeah, let her sleep for now."
The cave was narrow.
Liz was curled up asleep.
Slei was lying down asleep.
Pigi-maru took up very little space.
The back of the cave was already occupied by those three.
That left space for about two human-sized people.
One of us would have to stay outside.
"I'll set out as soon as I wake up."
"Understood."
If possible, I wanted to head straight to the Witch.
But considering our wounds and fatigue, that would be difficult.
The road ahead was unknown territory.
We should rest and preserve our strength.
Eve stepped outside.
I could entrust the watch duty to her without worry…
Now then,
"Time to sleep."
"Yes, let's do that."
While adjusting the hem of her clothes, Seras knelt on the spread cloth.
I also lay down on the cloth beside her.
The cloth still held Eve's warmth.
I used my arm as a pillow and closed my eyes.
"..."
I couldn't fall asleep. My nerves were too wired.
If I cast [Sleep] on myself, I wouldn't be able to cancel it.
That was far too risky.
I wouldn't be able to respond to sudden threats.
"…Can't you sleep?"
"My nerves are too worked up. Well, just being able to lie down is already an improvement…"
"In that case."
Tap, tap.
Seras lightly patted her own thighs.
"I don't know if this will calm your excitement, but…"
"…Payback from last time?"
Last time, I had been the one giving the lap pillow.
"Unlike then, I'm not joking this time."
"Go to sleep."
"That… actually, I also seem unable to sleep because my nerves are worked up."
I see.
So that was just an excuse.
I could tell from her tone.
It seemed she wanted to do it.
"...Then I won't hold back."
I shifted my body and rested my head on Seras's lap.
The sensation was different from a normal pillow.
Because it had body heat, even the presence or absence of warmth was different.
"I think the last time I had a lap pillow was from my aunt when I was very young."
"..."
"…Seras?"
When I looked up, I could see Seras's face beyond her chest.
She was staring down at me intently…
Her blue eyes looked somewhat dazed.
"Seras."
"…Eh?"
"Are you tired today?"
"—Ah… yes, I suppose I am quite tired today."
"You should cut the lap pillow short and rest too."
"Yes— um, Touka-dono."
Gulp.
Seras swallowed.
"You're doing it consciously, right?"
Hm?
Consciously?
I stopped the motion of trying to sit up.
"What are you talking about?"
"The way you treat me has been gradually changing."
I see.
"You noticed."
"Yes, in my own way."
For example,
I had gradually changed the way I addressed her from "you" (anta) to "you" (omae).
I had also consciously adjusted other aspects of our distance.
I had tried to make the transition feel natural.
…But it hadn't been perfect.
"Right now I'm in a position to give orders… I felt that if I didn't create that 'superior attitude,' things would feel awkward in places."
This applied to Eve as well.
In fact, Eve had seemed a little uncomfortable at first.
But after the change, my instructions and her movements began to mesh perfectly.
I met the eyes of Seras, who was looking down at me.
"Does it bother you?"
"No. It's just…"
Seras gently placed her hands on both sides of my head.
As if enveloping me.
"Please don't carry everything alone."
"…Did I look that worn out?"
"Even when the monsters attacked all at once the other day, you acted as if you could handle it perfectly. Eve and Liz seemed to feel reassured by that attitude, but…"
Seras's slender fingers gently combed through my bangs.
…I see.
I realized it.
"There were places where I was lying."
"—Yes."
She had seen through my "bravado" with her spirit power.
"When facing that many, the only one who could handle it was me, with my status abnormality skills and fusion with Pigi-maru… If I showed even the slightest unease, Eve and the others would become anxious too. Especially Eve, with her personality. If her guilt grew stronger, she might take self-sacrificing actions."
That was why I had needed to reassure them.
Touka will be fine.
Touka will definitely survive.
Touka can defeat those monsters.
I had needed to make them believe that through my attitude and expression.
Well, in the end Eve still ended up rushing out of the cave later.
"…Sometimes it scares me. That one day Touka-dono, who has placed too heavy a burden on himself… might suddenly break. That worries me."
"..."
In fact, this concern of Seras's would later become a terrible reality—
"—Well, that kind of thing… might just be the standard pattern."
I chuckled it off.
"Touka… dono…?"
"The worst."
The environment I had been placed in as a child.
For me, that had already been the ultimate "worst."
A cramped apartment.
"I'll break your arm, brat."
"Bow your head, brat."
"I'll kill you, brat."
"Here, Touka, I diluted it a little today! Detergent juice! Drink it!"
"What's with those eyes, Touka… Hey, I'll break you? I'll destroy you?"
"Why the hell did I even give birth to this thing… Why didn't I abort it!? At least have the decency to break inside my belly, Touka!"
A hell that was far too narrow.
At that time.
Along with killing intent, I had thought strongly:
—If you can break me, then try it.—
"I don't know about other people… but it seems I'm not made to break that easily."
I had probably already passed the "worst" I could imagine for myself.
Surely, for me, there was no "worst" beyond that.
"..."
When I had flipped off the Goddess.
The later Ruins of Disposal.
Through those experiences, I had gradually reclaimed the "Touka" from back then.
With time.
I had felt the "normal" I had built disappearing from inside me.
If I had remained "normal," I might have broken early in this world.
"But that might just be what you believe, Touka-dono—"
"Seras."
I raised my right hand.
I placed it gently against Seras's smooth cheek.
She did not flinch or look away.
"Yes."
"If you're really that worried about me, then to make sure that doesn't happen—"
This staging is fine.
"Support me with everything you have."
"————Yes."
A clear, resolute answer.
Seras gently intertwined her fingers with my right hand.
"Please leave it to me, Touka-dono."
I tried to pull my hand back.
Naturally, Seras's hand also released.
"Um… but if it becomes too painful, please don't hesitate to tell me anything. I will respond to whatever I can do for you."
"You really are an overprotective vice-captain."
Seras smiled softly.
"I would prefer if you at least called it 'devoted.'"
"My sister."
"Eh?"
"If I had a sister, she might have been like this."
"..."
"..."
"By the way, Touka-dono, how old are you?"
Hm?
Had I not told her?
I stated my age.
Seras blinked in surprise.
"Eh? Touka-dono… you're younger than me!?"
"No, high elves live long lives, right? I just assumed… "
That was also part of why she had struggled to get used to my commanding tone.
Seras pointed at herself.
"I am 19."
Eh?
"Your age?"
Seras nodded.
...
She was younger than I had thought.
No… her reading and knowledge were impressive.
"19, huh."
Hm?
"Wait. How old did you think I was?"
"Early to mid-twenties… You just seem far too composed."
"…I see."
I said it with a bit of teasing.
"So from now on, will you start treating me like a younger brother?"
"N-no— you are the king of this 'Fly King Warband.' Even if you are younger, I have no intention of changing my attitude toward the king to whom I have sworn loyalty. Please rest assured."
"…Fly King, huh."
The King of Flies.
"Well, I only wear the Fly King mask to hide my face… though I do like it. Still, I'm hardly cut out to be a king."
"No, Touka-dono."
Seras leaned her face closer.
"You are now my—"
Her lustrous golden hair fell softly against her white cheek.
"—irreplaceable, one and only king."
□
Before I knew it, my consciousness was fading.
Sleepiness must have finally caught up.
My awareness sank into deep darkness.
"…Tou… ka… mi… mo… ri… ?"
Seras seemed to be saying something…
But I couldn't make out the words.
A strange sensation.
A peculiar warmth.
Only a somehow comforting feeling gently brushed the surface of my sinking consciousness.
My awareness fell—