After spending time getting to know each of the Primarchs, the routine in the Imperial Palace had become… interesting, to say the least.
"Okay, Timmy, tell Bob to meet back at my lab," I said to Timmy.
"Yes, my lady!" he replied before running off to deliver the message.
While walking through the grand hallways, I accidentally bumped right into Luther and a squad of Dark Angels.
"Watch where you are going, my lady," Luther said, catching his balance.
"Ouch... Wait, you're the Lion's legion, right?" I asked, rubbing my arm.
"Yes, that is right," Luther answered. Though his posture was respectful, his eyes were practically burning with suppressed jealousy and envy.
"Then you must be Luther the brother of my, *ahem*, son..." I said, managing the absurd sentence without too much difficulty.
Luther's eyes widened in surprise. "I am sorry, my lady, I didn't know—"
"It's quite alright," I interrupted with a warm wave of my hand. "It's nice to see such a capable man standing next to my son."
Luther straightened up, the compliment striking a chord. "Yes, my lady."
"If I ever need someone to rely on, can I count on you?" I asked, leaning in slightly.
"My lady, anything you need, I will do," he declared proudly.
"Well... you guys can help me with something right now," I smiled.
I led Luther and his Space Marines back to my lab. But the moment I pushed the heavy doors open, I caught Mortarion standing near my workspace, messing about with a rack of volatile chemicals.
"Mortarion, you can just ask if you want to see them," I said, raising an eyebrow.
Mortarion stiffened, muttered a hasty apology, and quickly left out of the room.
"And don't think I didn't see you, Lorgar!" I called out to the shadowy corner of the lab.
Lorgar sighed and popped out from his hiding spot, looking sheepish.
"You too, Leman," I added, looking straight up at the ceiling.
A heavy thud echoed through the room as Leman Russ lost his grip and fell straight through the ventilation duct, landing in a heap on the floor.
"Get out, all of you," I sighed.
Once the Primarchs had cleared out, I turned my attention back to my eager volunteers. I tasked Luther and his Dark Angels with helping me conduct a little physical experiment.
"Okay, so you're going to run at this wall with all your might," I instructed, pointing to a reinforced bulkhead in the corner.
One of the Dark Angels stepped forward, chuckling slightly under his helmet. "My lady, a wall is nothing for an Astartes."
He gently pushed me aside, lined himself up, and charged at the wall at full speed. The moment his armor impacted the surface, an incredible kinetic force repelled him. He was violently launched backward across the room, slamming hard into the opposite wall.
"Well, it seems to work! Thank you," I said cheerfully, taking a quick note on my datapad. I then gestured to two stunned Dark Angels. "You two, carry him to the Apothecary."
I turned back to the remaining Space Marines with a bright smile. "Alright, who's next?"
The Dark Angels looked at each other, their hearts sinking as a collective thought echoed in their minds: *The Lion's mother is completely insane!*
A short while later, the Lion himself burst into my laboratory.
"Mother! Have you seen—"
He stopped mid-sentence. His jaw slowly slackened as he took in the scene: his respected brother Luther and his veteran battle-brothers were currently being forced into bizarre science experiments by Agnes Tachyon.
"Father... save us..." a Dark Angel whimpered, his massive body trembling violently before his eyes rolled back and he collapsed unconscious.
"Oh, Lion! Welcome!" I called out brightly, hardly looking up from a mechanical table where another Space Marine was firmly strapped down.
"My lady, please!" the marine begged, sweating profusely.
Without hesitation, I pressed a bright red button on the console. The table immediately began spinning at a dizzying, terrifying speed.
"AHHHHHHHHH!!!!" the Space Marine screamed into the void.
"Mother, stop this!" the Lion barked, rushing forward to shut the contraption down.
After finishing up the tests, I handed the Lion back his traumatized Space Marines. Granted, a few of them might now have the unexpected ability to fly or shoot laser beams out of their eyes, but I considered that an upgrade.
Later that afternoon, while walking down the lower concourse, I spotted Perturabo speaking with a contingent of his Iron Warriors.
"Perturabo! Nice seeing you here!" I said, waving as I approached.
"Agnes..." he acknowledged, his voice deep and rumbling.
"How are you doing?" I asked gently.
"Good enough," he grunted.
"Anyways, I have a gift for you," I smiled.
Perturabo frowned slightly. "You already gave me a gift."
"Well, this one is a gift for your legion," I clarified.
That caught his attention. His eyes narrowed with genuine curiosity. "Alright... what is it?"
"Meet me back at my lab, and bring your legion with you," I said.
"I don't think they can all fit," he pointed out logically.
"Well, just make sure they receive the gifts," I said with a wink before turning back toward my lab.
After setting everything up, Perturabo walked into the lab alone. "Perturabo, are they outside?" I asked.
"Yes," he replied.
I walked out into the courtyard, looking over the ranks of the Iron Warriors. They stood in disciplined, stoic formation, accustomed to being ignored and used as siege fodder.
"I know that your legion has never been properly recognized for your hard work," I said, letting my tone soften into something truly motherly. "So, as long as I live, I will never forget all that you have done."
A visible shift went through the ranks of cold, bitter warriors.
"So, my gift for you is... this!"
On my cue, a squad of massive Thunder Warriors marched out, lugging heavy supply crates into the courtyard.
"Because I don't know all of you personally yet, and I'm still fairly new here, you get to pick your own gift from me," I announced warmly. "Don't be shy!"
Hesitantly at first, the Iron Warriors stepped forward to open the crates. Their stoic demeanors shattered into awe. Some pulled out master-crafted power swords, others activated deadly weaponized mechs, and several found customized suits of Terminator armor.
I walked over to Perturabo, who was staring down at a massive tech-schematic in his hands.
"I hope you love your gift," I said softly.
"Yes... the 'Eradicator Mk2+', as you call it," Perturabo murmured, his eyes fixated on the incredible design. A rare, genuine look of satisfaction touched his face.
"Well, if you ever need anything, you can always call or tell me," I said with a smile before turning around to return to my lab.
I took three steps, paused, and immediately spun right back around.
"Perturabo... can you call Angron? And... erm... maybe a few other Primarchs to help hold him down?"
--
It took an absurd amount of thrashing, roaring, and collateral damage, but eventually, Perturabo, Lorgar, the Lion, and Magnus were successfully tackling Angron to the floor, pinning his massive limbs to the cold deckplates.
"Hold him steady! I'm going to remove his Butcher's Nails whether he likes it or not!" I shouted over Angron's bloodcurdling furious screams. "Quick! Stab him with the sedative!"
Perturabo didn't hesitate, slamming a massive hyper-needle directly into Angron's chest.
As the violent berserker finally began to go limp, I pulled out my surgical tools. "Okay, Angron... this is for your own good."
With swift, expert precision, I operated on his skull, disconnecting the barbaric neural-implants and sliding the butcher's nails out of his brain with effortless ease.
Once the operation was wrapped up, I wiped the sweat from my brow and turned to my exhausted helpers.
"Thank you all for helping me! Here are your rewards!"
I reached into my bag and handed Magnus an ancient, glowing spell tome; Perturabo received yet another advanced mech suit schematic; and Lorgar was given a umazing warning not to make the emperor into a god but i gave him a bike.
--
Meanwhile, deep within the twisting madness of the Warp...
The Chaos Gods gathered in their dark realm, watching the material universe with growing concern.
"Guys, we have to do something about her," Tzeentch hissed, his shifting faces scowling. "She is definitely destroying our plans!"
"We can just tell Erebus to kill her?" Nurgle suggested lazily, stirring his bubbling cauldron.
"Or!" Slaanesh purred, eyes gleaming with wicked excitement, "We can corrupt her! Mhm... I can see it now..."
The dark gods pondered the idea for a moment.
"Well... that might actually work," Tzeentch admitted. He turned toward a low-ranking warp creature slithering nearby. "Hey! You, random demon! Go deliver this order to Erebus!"