"Tsk tsk... surprising..."
Half an hour later, Lockhart collected the exam papers and started flipping through them on the spot.
"Quite a few of you remembered that my favorite color is lilac, very good... But why didn't you remember that my greatest achievement to date is winning Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award five times? I just said that, didn't I?"
He winked at the students again.
Although a small number of die-hard fans immediately clutched their chests, gasping, eyes dreamy, wearing expressions like they'd had too much fake wine, most people weren't buying it at all.
Katie Bell from Gryffindor was sitting right in front of Conna; when Lockhart spoke, she kept her head down, shoulders shaking, trembling with laughter all over.
Mikel and Ryan were also struggling not to burst out laughing.
"But..."
Lockhart's tone suddenly rose sharply, "Miss Mirelle Sinis knows my birthday is January 26th... Good girl!"
"In fact..." He flipped over the paper, "One hundred points! Where is this outstanding little witch?"
A trembling hand went up from the front row, the very student Kael had picked out with a single glance.
"Excellent!" Lockhart said with a smile. "Very good! Ten points to Gryffindor!"
"But it's a pity that two of you only got fifty-three questions right."
Lockhart pulled out two more papers,
"I think you two should read Travels with Trolls more carefully... In Chapter Nine, I clearly state that my secret ambition is to eradicate evil from the world and to sell my own line of hair care products... Not toothpaste.
But toothpaste is actually not a bad idea. I'll consider adding it to the 'Lockhart Collection'."
Conna kept her head down and gave Kael a light thump under the desk.
Obviously, those two papers were theirs.
Originally, Conna had written 'hair care products,' but when she saw Kael confidently write 'toothpaste,' she changed her answer. And, well, this is the result.
"It's your own fault for not sticking to your answer..."
Kael mumbled quietly, "Anyway, getting a perfect score means getting called out. This is just fine."
"Alright, back to the main topic..."
Lockhart set the papers aside, then picked up... a book.
Originally, Lockhart had actually gotten some Cornwall Pixies, planning to give the young wizards their very first class surprise.
But only yesterday, in the second-year class, did he realize that this "surprise" was a little too much, and in the end, became more of a shock.
The entire classroom was turned upside down by those Pixies, and even his own wand was thrown out the window.
He'd had to make the excuse of clearing out pests and search for ages in the bushes before finally finding it.
After that incident, Lockhart realized flashy stunts probably weren't his thing.
And third-years are much harder to fool than second-years.
So today, he decided to play it safe.
As soon as the students saw the Voyages with Vampires book in his hand, they all frowned—even his die-hard fans weren't spared.
As soon as they saw the book, they couldn't help but think of the "Book Reading Class" tyranny of Professor Quirrell last year. They could almost smell the faint aroma of garlic drifting to their noses.
"Merlin's beard... Not another year of reading, is it?" A Gryffindor student next to Kael groaned.
And clearly, he wasn't alone.
Lockhart quickly gave them the answer.
The good news: they didn't have to stupidly read books again... The bad news: this time, they'd have to act them out.
Lockhart had taken stories from his own book and turned them into dramatic scenes for the students to perform—like an alternative kind of stage play.
Honestly, this was even worse than reading... but Lockhart didn't think so, unfortunately.
He obviously believed this method would show off his heroism even more effectively.
And every play needs actors.
The first person Lockhart thought of was the most famous student in this class... Kael, holder of the Merlin Knight Order Second Class Medal.
"If he's there to set me off, it'll be even better."
"Oh, and that second-year Harry Potter is a good pick too."
That's what Lockhart was thinking—and that's what he did.
He called Kael up to the stage and decided to let him play the vampire from the book.
"Professor, can I ask you a question before we begin?" Kael said.
"Go ahead, ask a hundred if you like," said Lockhart, pulling his hair back to better match his book's look.
Kael casually flipped open Voyages with Vampires and glanced at a page.
"In this bit... you fended off the attacking vampire with the Light Spell with no trouble..."
"But Professor, I'm curious... what does the Light Spell actually do? Is it just a beefed-up Lighting Spell?"
"That's a new Charm," Lockhart replied, smiling. "The Lighting Spell could never produce light that bright."
Right away... While the Gryffindors looked mostly unfazed, every Hufflepuff turned to stare at Mikel in the center of the classroom.
They still hadn't forgotten... two years ago, during their very first Charm Class, that explosion of blinding light that suddenly appeared.
If a Light Spell really existed... well, that was probably what it would be like.
But as far as Mikel was concerned, he didn't have a clue... he'd passed out right after he cast the spell and had no idea what happened next.
Onstage, Kael kept going: "Could you give us a demonstration?"
"Uh..." Lockhart was at a loss for words. "Next time... That spell really isn't appropriate for classroom use..."
"Then how about this..." Kael flipped a few more pages. "You used a Levitating Spell to gather seawater and trap the vampire—can you show us that one?"
Lockhart once again lapsed into silence.
But Kael wasn't finished; he kept flipping through the book and asked:
"Also, why aren't vampires afraid of garlic, but are scared of Protective Talismans soaked in garlic juice?"
"And why did you travel by ship, instead of using Apparition?"
"Also, how did you get the vampire to only eat carrots...?"
"Is that vampire still alive?"
"And if it is still alive, have you considered sharing your method? After all, solving their blood-sucking problem is like curing werewolves from transforming at full moon! You'd get the Merlin Knight Order First Class Medal for sure!"
"Oh, and..."
It really looked like Kael was aiming to hit a hundred why's, and all those questions were clearly giving Lockhart a headache.
The whole story was just something he'd swiped from some old wizard. All he did was hit him with a Forgetfulness Spell and add a bit of his own artistic flair—how was he supposed to know all the details?
Lockhart looked at the increasingly inquisitive faces all around and broke out in a cold sweat, hurriedly putting an end to Kael's interrogation.
"Alright, alright... just close the book."
"I really don't mind answering these questions, but there are other students who need the class."
"Let's call this your homework. You're welcome to figure it out yourself. Of course, if you still don't get it by the end of the year, I'll give you all the answers."
Lockhart deftly swept the matter aside, then found an excuse to dismiss Kael, replacing him with another Hufflepuff youngster who looked much quieter to help him act out the play.
If Kael stayed up there any longer, who knows what else he'd ask—way too risky.
...