**Author's Note:**
Hey everyone! Just dropping by to thank you all for your constant support. Even if I don't always say it, you know that whenever we hit 40 stars—or even blast past it—I bring you new chapters. Honestly, I'm pretty blown away by the love you've shown this story.
Because of all that support, I was inspired to start another Steven Universe fanfic, in case you want to check it out. It's called:
*Steven Universe: Am I a Silica?*
If you could show it as much love as you've shown this story, I'd deeply appreciate it.
Now, let's get back to it!
---
"Stevo!" Amethyst called out, completely cheerful. "How's the training going with that thing that turns you all pink?"
...
...
I was absolutely furious, but I quickly forced myself out of my pink form. The color dissipated like thick smoke.
I let out a sigh.
"It's going fine," I said, though I glanced off to the side, right where Pearl and Peridot were bickering yet again.
"Them? Total geeks," Amethyst said with complete indifference, rolling her eyes.
"You doing okay, buddy?" she asked, wrapping her arms around me from behind and giving my head a playful shake, as if trying to loosen up all the tension I had bottled up.
The gesture worked better than I cared to admit.
"It's been a while since you did that," I said after a few seconds.
"It's been a while since we actually hung out like this," she replied, starting to give my shoulders a gentle rubdown.
An involuntary smile crept onto my face.
"You're like the sister I never had," I said honestly.
Amethyst went still for a second, but she immediately went back to massaging my shoulders. Even so, it was obvious how happy it made her, clear in the way she playfully jostled my back.
I sighed again.
I looked back over to where Peridot and Pearl were arguing, though I didn't miss the way Peridot kept clutching her hand—right where the faint remnants of corruption still lingered. That detail never escaped me.
"By the way... where's Garnet?" I asked, looking up.
"You haven't seen her?" Amethyst asked with a strange smirk.
"No," I replied, confused.
"Right here," Garnet said right next to me.
"Son of a—!" I blurted, jumping back. Out of pure reflex, my body flared pink again.
"What the hell?! How did you just pop up like that?" I asked, completely rattled.
"Magic," Garnet replied with her usual mysterious aura, as calm as she ever was.
I stared at her for a few seconds, my heart still pounding against my ribs, as the pink hue slowly faded from my skin.
"Man, you scared the crap out of me," I muttered as my pink form finally receded, feeling the tightness in my chest slowly ease up.
Garnet observed me intently, sitting with her legs together while adjusting her visors with practiced calm.
"That pink form... I never saw Rose take a shape like that," she said, her voice serious and analytical.
"I don't know, I didn't see her either," I replied with a shrug, trying to loosen up my body as if none of it really mattered.
That comment made Garnet stiffen ever so slightly—just enough to notice if you knew what to look for. I had spoken about my mother like she was just some ordinary topic, as if her memory didn't weigh heavily, but Garnet didn't say anything. She just kept her silence.
"You know what," I said after a few seconds, "let's train, Garnet."
I started walking toward a nearby meadow, the grass swaying gently in the mild afternoon breeze.
Garnet followed me with her gaze before standing up and matching my stride. Before fully moving away, she slowly turned her head back toward Amethyst.
"This future is your fault," she said with total seriousness as she kept walking.
"Huh?" Amethyst blinked, completely bewildered.
"Amethyst! Get over here, dammit!" Pearl's voice echoed from a distance, clearly picking a fight over some scrap of metal nobody else would ever care about.
"HAHAHAHAHA!" Amethyst burst out laughing without a second thought, sprinting toward the disaster zone like it was the best entertainment of the day.
Lapis, meanwhile, was chilling peacefully on top of the barn, entirely detached from the chaos, utterly absorbed in playing Minecraft as if the world weren't on the verge of tearing itself apart.
---
The meadow was peaceful. The wind rustled gently through the grass, and the sky was already painted in shades of orange and purple, as if the day were reluctant to end. Steven walked a few paces ahead, trying to sort out his thoughts, but the heavy pressure in his chest remained—the one that always cropped up right before he lost control.
Garnet stopped a few feet away from him and crossed her arms, watching him closely.
"So," she said calmly, "what exactly do you want to train?"
Steven exhaled slowly before answering.
"I want to train my emotional control, you know? It's hard with this thing. Maybe that's why you never saw it in my mother. From what I've heard in the stories, she was always very gentle."
Garnet remained silent as she listened to him speak. She didn't interrupt. She just let him keep going.
"What is it that you feel?" she asked after a few seconds.
Steven sat down on the grass, feeling the cool blades beneath his hands, while Amethyst's unmistakable laughter echoed faintly in the distance.
He squeezed his hand into a tight fist and looked up at Garnet, who sat down directly across from him, steady and attentive.
"What I feel... I feel anger, sadness, joy. Every single emotion feels... it just feels too strong. If someone tells me a joke, I feel like I could laugh myself to death. If someone tells me they swatted a fly, I'd weep until my eyes ran dry. And if someone talks trash about me... I feel like I want to beat them until they're unrecognizable."
The words felt heavy as they left his mouth, like they had been trapped inside for far too long.
Garnet looked at him in silence, passing no judgment, never breaking eye contact, letting the quiet hang between them as heavily as the emotions Steven had just confessed.
---
"It seems to be something deep inside you, Steven," Garnet said as she sat across from me, her gaze locked onto mine through her visors. Her voice was steady but not harsh—calm, rather, like someone discussing a sight they had witnessed many times before.
"You are someone who has bottled up a great deal. It is natural; everyone does it. Everyone carries secrets, Steven. But in your case... it seems to directly impact your emotional stability whenever you enter that state."
I kept quiet, listening.
"You are good. A good person," she continued. "The human I have grown fond of most in the millennia I have spent on Earth."
That caught me off guard. A lump formed in my throat.
...
...
...
I looked at her expectantly. I had always liked talking to Garnet. There was something about her presence that made me feel safe, as if nothing bad could possibly happen as long as she was around.
And then, it happened.
The entire environment shifted into blue.
It wasn't gradual. It wasn't slow. It just happened instantly.
"Huh?" I blurted out, completely disoriented.
The ground beneath my feet was blue. The sky was blue. The grass, the air, even the ambient light... everything was stained a deep, silent blue.
"What the hell...?" I muttered, looking around wildly, unable to make sense of it.
"Your eyes are closed, Steven," Garnet said softly.
I blinked.
"What is this?" I asked, a mix of anxiety and curiosity swirling inside me.
"It is something I can do," she replied. "We are inside our gemstones."
A shiver ran down my spine.
"I connected my core to yours so you could observe your inner self. What you perceive yourself to be. What you will become."
I looked down at my hands. They didn't exactly look like hands. They were more like... an idea of them, constructed out of a glowing blue light.
"Here," Garnet continued, "is where our gems—or your heart, in your case—speak for us. We are not the ones speaking for them."
The space felt massive and utterly vacant at the same time. Like being inside something alive... inside myself.
I swallowed hard.
"So... this is what I am on the inside?" I asked in a low voice.
Garnet gave a slow nod.
"It is a part of it," she said. "And it is not a small part."
I felt a tight pressure in my chest, but it wasn't pain. It was recognition. Like something that had always been there was finally staring me right in the face.
And for the first time... I was genuinely afraid of myself.
---
Garnet looked directly at me and began to speak. Her presence was firm but reassuring, as if every word was meticulously chosen to stay with me for as long as I needed it.
"Take time to think, Steven. Be flexible with your actions and the opinions you hold. You must trust yourself, love yourself, and love the people around you as well."
Then, with a deliberate movement, she slid off her visors and glanced off to the side. Instinctively, I turned in the same direction, as if knowing something important was about to reveal itself.
"You know," she continued, "I once had that exact same thought... and when it happened, I became alarmed."
She looked down at her gemstones, her expression difficult to read, and then toward the faint silhouettes of Ruby and Sapphire standing beside her, manifested from the same blue light that enveloped everything.
I didn't say a word. I was absorbing the information like a sponge, not interrupting, not thinking too much, just letting it all sink in.
Before us materialized the image of a Ruby defending a Sapphire from dark shadows that seemed to claw their way out of the ground itself. They moved frantically, fighting desperately, until those figures began to run aimlessly and ultimately tumbled down an infinite chasm.
Garnet spoke again.
"Perhaps we felt hurt by what others might have said to us. It was not easy to hear certain things after we fused by accident... and then after that fusion was disrupted."
The imagery shifted. Garnet watched as scenes played out of Ruby and Sapphire wandering the Earth, experiencing every stage of what could only be described back then as their 'friendship.' Awkward moments, dangerous encounters, long silences, and rushed decisions.
"Perhaps our conduct was not the most pleasant," she said. "Ruby said things that were... how should I put it?"
I looked at her, searching for the right description.
"Like a swarm?" I suggested.
Garnet nodded.
"Precisely," she responded, as we kept watching Ruby and Sapphire survive the beasts of the Earth together, falling and picking themselves back up time and time after.
I felt a tight pang in my chest. It wasn't exactly sadness. It was understanding. Like that story, even though it wasn't mine, was slowly connecting to the core of who I was.
And I realized I wasn't just watching Garnet's past.
I was watching what it meant to learn to accept yourself... even when it hurts.
---
"I lost my vision, Steven." The words slipped from Garnet's lips, haltingly, as tears began to roll slowly from her three eyes. "We lost everything that was once ours... the security of being with other Gems in exchange for survival. The small things we used to do: traveling into space, deploying other Gems... completely unaware that what we were doing was wrong. We possessed only a single vision: that of Homeworld. We could not learn anything else, trapped in a single perspective."
She paused, her gaze drifting into the distance. "And when we were... exiled? I would not know how to describe it. It was something that confused us... deeply confused us. We nearly lost ourselves, wandering the Earth for days without any purpose outside of Homeworld."
The projections of Ruby and Sapphire appeared disoriented within those blue illusions. Each one reflected a raw emotion: sadness, joy at the new things they discovered, anger over what they had lost. Their movements were clumsy, almost hesitant, yet filled with absolute sincerity.
Garnet turned her eyes back to me. I found them steady, yet completely vulnerable.
"Take your time, Steven," she said softly. "Emotions are healthy; it is normal for you to have them. If a Gem feels down or experiences happiness, it is natural. Take time to process everything, and ask yourself."
"Will I feel the anger, the sadness, or any emotion like this all the time?" I asked, my voice barely a thread.
Garnet shook her head gently.
"If you ask me... no. Feeling all of that is okay. Let it out. You need to vent, Steven. It is not healthy to keep all these emotions locked inside. So tell me...
what is it you feel?"
---
Steven looked at her softly, a few tears tracing lines down his cheeks, but he tried to do exactly what Garnet was doing: focus, analyze, and feel without letting it overwhelm him.
He shifted his gaze to the opposite side, where the visions of Ruby and Sapphire were still playing out, and Garnet followed his look. Over there, a smaller Steven was moving—almost like an echo of his past self, trapped between old memories and emotions.
"I've been thinking..." Steven said, his voice cracking slightly, a bitter smile crossing his face as his eyes locked onto the van where his gemstone had nearly been ripped out. "Maybe I worry more than I should... but I'm human. I think I'm more sensitive than you guys."
Garnet merely tensed slightly, remaining silent, letting him speak without interruption.
"What they said... what they thought... am I someone? Am I someone else?" he continued, his voice dropping to a whisper. "A lot of those opinions really hurt. Even if I didn't feel it at the time, now that I'm... not big, but aware, it hurts what people might say about me, about my mom, about you guys. Will it hurt them? Those are things I can't seem to get out of my head."
The illusions shifted again, showing a young Steven training alongside his dad. You could see how many times he ignored his father just to focus, to try and get better.
"The way I acted... it wasn't nice back then," he said, his eyes glued to the scene. "I focused on what you guys needed, but... what did I need?"
He watched as his dad looked somewhat disappointed every time he brushed him off. "I said things that might have been like a swarm, right? Those are things that get out of hand. I was a kid... but those are the things that scar me as a human being. Human-Gem? I don't even know what I am... I'm unique in my own species."
Steven looked down at his hands, tears flowing freely now. His body began to glow with a pink hue that spread slowly, reflecting the intense cocktail of emotions and his connection to his power.
"I lost my vision for a while, buried in the confusion of what I'm supposed to do as the heir to this gemstone in my stomach."
The illusions shifted constantly, showing a Steven who enjoyed life, who tried new things, who laughed, who learned... but versions of myself also appeared looking self-centered, miserable, insecure, and so many other things throughout my life.
"The feeling..." I said, tears falling in sheets as my pink form grew more vivid and powerful.
"The tiny things that could have changed me... that's who I am. But is that what the world needs? Will the name Steven Universe—the person carrying it—actually stand tall for whatever life has waiting for him?"
My words shattered, my mind caught between terror and responsibility.
"That... that... it confuses me," I finally admitted, as the pink glow of my body began to recede.
"I think I might even lose myself, trying to be someone everyone else wants me to be..."
I looked at Garnet, searching for some form of guidance, an anchor in the middle of my internal storm.
"What am I supposed to do, Garnet?"
I stared at Garnet with my eyes swimming with tears, feeling like the confusion and fear were choking me.
*What I'm supposed to do,* I repeated in my head over and over, but I couldn't find an answer, only a whirlpool of emotions that made me feel more pink, more powerful, and completely lost.
Garnet kept her eyes locked on me, her three eyes shining with a calm that felt like it could hold up my entire chaos, and for the first time, I felt like I wasn't carrying this alone.
"Steven," she said gently, "everything you are feeling right now is okay. You do not have to control all of it this very moment. Every emotion that surfaces has a purpose—even the anger, even the sadness, even the joy that overwhelms you."
I gave a slow nod, trying to let her words penetrate my mind, while my pink form trembled as if my entire body were listening and absorbing every single emotion simultaneously.
"Think about who you are," Garnet continued. "Think about who you want to be—not what others expect of you, not what your mother was, not what the Gems believe you should do."
I felt the world around us begin to settle. The blue tones that had previously displayed my tangled emotions grew softer, as if Garnet were charting a clear path right through my inner self.
Every tear that fell, every heavy breath, every emotion I experienced—Garnet accepted them all, and she was teaching me to accept them too.
"Let them out," Garnet said. "Do not repress them, do not hide them. Allow your heart to speak. Let your emotions be your guide, because only when you truly know what you feel can you understand what you must do."
I closed my eyes for a moment and just let myself ride the sensation, imagining every fear, every sorrow, every ounce of rage transforming into a pink light deep inside me, expanding and fusing with my power.
When I opened my eyes, Garnet was still right there in front of me, serious and steady, but with a serene calm that gave me strength.
"Alright," I finally said with a sigh. "I'm going to try. I'm going to feel everything and use it, instead of locking it away."
Garnet gave a soft nod and smiled at me—a genuine smile that seemed to understand me completely without a single word. And I knew right then that I wasn't alone, that I could face this, that I could learn to control myself and keep moving forward.
"Thank you, Garnet," I said as I blinked, and we flashed back onto the grass.
"Do not worry, Steven," Garnet said. She hadn't moved an inch from her spot, but I did notice the wet drops on the ground.
"Steven... you are someone who inspires me. You are so good that I honestly do not know if I could ever be like you."
"I hope this talk helps you in some way, just as you have helped us over all these years."
A few more tears broke free, and I got to my feet, throwing my arms tightly around Garnet.
"I want to hug them... can I?" I asked through my tears.
Garnet unfused, and Ruby and Sapphire appeared with tears welling in their eyes as the three of us locked into a tight embrace.
"Thank you. I trust that I can learn to love myself," I sobbed.
**End of Chapter 55.**