"Come at me and show me the power of your humanity! Let this last moments of our worth it. Make me fall in love once more!"
Before the angels eyes was was a figure. It could hardly be called human, maggots were falling from the figure yet in the kept it's posture.
A single eye watched the outside world. A bloodshot eyes staring into all there is to be seen. The eye rolled around endlessly, looking at everything it could as if hoping to find something.
"Enkidu..."
"Ohhh so now you remember everything! Do you know how happy this makes me? Like cultivating a fragile flower just for them to bloom into the most beautiful of them all!"
"Order. Frozen tears of the one torn apart."
The voice echoed in this wasteland yet it was a mystery where it even came from, did this pile of maggots still retain a mouth?
Eyes witnessed it all. Each star, each moon, each planet, each speck of dust, each apple, each moment, each hill, each dream, each house, each boot, each dessert.
They all have eyes, they all witnessed it all.
They are crying like him. Tears of blood are dripping down onto this world from the stars. On the moon there is a bloodshot eye,crying as if it wanted to drown the world in it's tears.
The pile of maggots grew six wings from it's back before screaming in an animalistic manner.
Three of them were made of ice, scales were carved on them like ornaments. They seemed more symbolic than practical.
Three of them were covered in maggots. Between the wriggling forms eyes could be seen staring into the past, present,future and the future of all that happened in this disgusting playground.
"It has been billions of years since you had the courage to lift your hand against me Enkidu! Come and show me once more the determination that comes from your selfishness, humanity!"
Two angels clashed that night. They destroyed that all that ever existed with each of their attacks, they tore apart concepts to hurt the other, cause them to lose their sanity and turn into a mindless monster yet none won.
Frozen in ice that shatters concepts the angel of humanity, false messiah, seed of the All Powerful Father of Authority. Was sealed, even after leaving away his own humanity, bending his own vision of humanity and creating a true beast, a true human. The battle itself was unfair from the beginning. Even though this mountain of maggots was a corrupted form it still had the advantage of having two different sides of the same coin as it's power. He has been sent to a world he has never been before by force.
The desire and the sacrifice to reach that desire.
By following his will and sacrificing with the usage of order it became strong enough to kill most archangels if they weren't careful. Even with their artifacts some would have died regardless.
False Enkidu, angel of shattered concepts and inevitable sights, the one born from the end of a world, the one born from two desires becoming one and reminding an emotionless maiden that there are still humans for her to protect and save.
The desire to escape from the inevitable and the desire to embrace the inevitable and living a life of naivety.
He just wanted to live naive, to escape from the responsibilities on his shoulder while also helping others in his own way, he wanted to be there yet not the one that suffers or the one that carries the banner. He wanted to be there and pat his friends from the back before saying weird quotes.
He wanted to be loved, just enough that he will not feel disgusted. He wanted to see yet just enough that he won't be disgusted by all that is around.
This is why he was destined to die. The soul that was forcefully implanted inside him changed his fate and gave him inevitable suffering. But this forced soul was just there to make him suffer after all Diarmuid unlike Enkidu just wanted one thing.
He wanted to lament those that suffered. He wanted to cry for them, he wanted to embrace them as they cried their sorrow. He wanted to be there when they took their last breathe and be there when they took their first.
Diarmuid spat all these Enkidu into his simulated reality just for this purpose. To devour their souls and the despair with it, to become the god that laments all and will become the savior of the world from the selfish gods grasp.
Enkidu is just a name his accomplice came up with, they are their child after all.
Enkidu are no more than life forced into soil, homunculi, false humans amd artificial souls.
All Enkidu carry a fake name, Diarmuid.
All Diarmuid must suffer for the true one.
Was the suffering unfair? They were never even humans after a but rather bodies and souls made of mold, soil, dough, seed.
Did Enkidu ever feel emotions? Did they have the right to feel emotions? Was their suffering fair or justified? Did their tears hold any meaning or were they just accomplishing what they were created for.
Most other humans inside were undetailed placeholders. But the people Enkidu have been close with always had a reason to enter this world. They were ready to sacrifice their own body to enter here into this world of madness because most of them have already suffered enough.
Gods are selfish. Their shadow burns all those around yet they do not care. The prayers of their believers is what keeps them sane and to keep that they are ready to let a few die to rekindle the fire in their heart.
She is a witch! Burn her at the stake! Let the devil inside her come out with her screams!
Son of the devil! Can't you see it? Can't anyone see it? Look at that white, colorless hair and red iris! You are the seed of Devil!
Blasphemer! Blasphemer how dare you speak the name of god? How dare you question their love? Disgusting...disgusting!
Fear is a way to control people and same goes for other methods. Man of gods have always abused these. Give them a scapegoat to stone! Give them a whore to burn! Give them a child to throw down! Give them an enemy they can hate so that they can unite and fanatically pray!
Blood of one is worth less than the blood of thousands right? Isn't this how things always worked?
You really wished that you could grab it right?
The beautiful light in the sky.
Was no more than the corpse of a father.
Corpse of a friend.
You don't need wings to grab that.
You don't need wings to lament.
The beautiful light in the sky that you could only hope to reach.
It was happiness.
Yet you couldn't reach it after all you are not destined to.
Your wings of wax will melt before you reach them.
So in fear of the inevitable you can only stare at the ground, maybe that way you will feel better.
You are a maggot.
Feeding on corpses of small hopes hoping to see another day.
Even if you become a fly one day you will rever reach what you want.
You were always destined to suffer, created with the sole purpose of suffering.
It is alright. It is alright to accept the inevitable.
Cry.
I want you to cry so that at least you will feel better when the pain in your throat passes.
Maybe you can save the one you love. Wouldn't it be a honorable act? You are destined to suffer yet she isn't.
Do you even love her? After witnessing it all knowing that your feelings have been no more than predetermined actions do you still love her?
"Are you going to read it?"
"I have to...that is the least I can do for someone that loved someone as low as me."
In an alleyway sat a man in his twenties. His body was covered in scars from stitched wounds, his body has been saved by Xio back then and replaced with the body of another Him in another possibility. Something was weird about him. Left had of his body was covered in blue scales and his left arm seemed to have long claws instead of short nails. His left eye was a vertical slit like that of a predator, his iris was yellow and his gaze seemed unfocused. He had long black hair. It went down to the middle of his back. He wasn't handsome or ugly, he could have been called mediocre but charismatic.
He had a crumbled piece of paper in his hand. This single page meant more to him than his own existence. This single page was the only thing left of her.
I am scared
I am scared of a lot of things
future, present and even the past
I am scared to lift my head or else l will see it
I want to ignore it, all the things hoping they will pass
I still wonder who I am yet the answer isn't important
I will be forgotten in the end becoming no more than past
Please forget me and move on
"Familiar?"
He heard his own voice coming out of his mouth in a calm manner. It has already invaded his soul and mind long ago, it was the gift of a deity far away which corrupted his own being.
"Yeah...I wrote this. Before all this. I have been thinking about everything for a while. I never expected my feelings to reach her let alone her having similar feelings towards me."
"What is your obsession with being forgotten? I don't understand."
The voice was calm. It wasn't insulting or filled with emotions but rather it was questioning with curiosity. Under the calmness curiosity shined bright.
"I always saw myself as worthless, someone that shouldn't be remembered. I don't want someone to remember me and get sad once in a while. I don't want tk be the reason anyone sheds tears."
"Why are you crying? Wouldn't she want the same for you?"
"I...I am crying because I have failed once more like all the times before...all those chances yet I never managed to help her."
"You are pathetic. They are not you only you are you and you already saved her."
"Saved her? What are you even talking about? She died because of my inability!"
"Turn it around."
Silence covered the alleyway after this. After a few seconds of silence he flipped the paper and read the lines.
I really love you my dear
When I first saw you in those moments, suffering in every possibility I cried all night
I hoped that as long as I was with you things could be different this time
I stayed up most nights
Drugs,cuts, bruises
My nails dug into my flesh as tears fell down
How can I let this happen? If it happened to all of them it was going to happen to you too, the you that I love
I never cared about other Diarmuids, only you are mine
Every night I recorded, every night I endured every night I suffered hoping to save you with my own two hands from the claws of inevitable suffering
I wanted to kill myself, I wanted to kill myself every night knowing these fragile hands of mine were covered in your blood as well
I know I will die, I already planned this to happen
Yet now I am the happiest person in existence, I know you will save me from this hell even if it means leaving another one behind to lament
Yes my will is for you the one left behind, please don't cry because I am already alive with you on the other side
Please escape and live a good life, I do not care about what happens to you yet I still hope you will live an happy life
This is the will of a Xio
Not your Xio anymore yet was your Xio
"There are multiple ways of leaving this place. As you already know if an Enkidu leaves this place a version of them right before will replace them. You are the Enkidu left behind."
"....."
"Are you happy? She is alive and happy after all. Isn't this enough?"
"I am not happy....how can I be happy? I am left here! All alone! She knew who I was...she knew that I wasn't even human yet she still loved me. Do you think others would love me the same way? Do you think they would think that a creation like me deserves love?"
"Ask then. I never experienced love and died way before the age of reproduction of my species. They entered my kingdom with armies and ripped apart my wings, turning me into just a fragment inside my killers body."
"This world will collapse in no time right?"
"My fragment won the clash and sent that beast away. Yet the world is collapsing because of your fragments last actions. He hoped to end this loop and caused too much of a damage with his existence but that beasts existence didn't help either. Look at the tears falling down."
Moon is crying. It really seems sad, solemn. It is raining down tears of blood unto this world at the edge of ruin.
"Yet I am the final one....why would he do this! Knowing that I am the last one."
"He didn't. He is just a fragment. Or maybe he believed that their purpose was right all along. Nothing comes from melancholy at least die knowing the truth."
The inhumane figure ran out from the alleyway. The streets were filled with people looking at the sky with fear in their eyes, some were praying fanatically while others were watching it as if looking at a painting.
The moon had something carved on it, the symbol of the eternal suffering drawn with blood. The end is here.
Diarmuid pushed the people away before running from street to street, wearing tattered clothes of the past, left side of his body covered in scales, his left arm looking like that of a beast.
Why foes the roads have eyes? Why are the buildings looking at me? Why are they reaching out towards the sky? Why is my reality falling apart?
Covered in sweat he found himself before a door. His fist slammed the door as he shouted in panic yet the voice quickly lost the power behind it and turned into desperate whispers.
"Ezra open the door! Johnny? Samuel?"
They must be out. You did your best I think escaping from this hell yourself will be most advisable.
"How can you be so fucking heartless! Can't you see how desperate I am? I would rather die and let things end rather than trying to live without the hope of someone loving me no matter what!"
"Well this took a weird turn. I could swear in this scene roles were reversed. I was on my knees begging last time."
The desperate abomination turned behind to see a figure he could only hope to see.
She had short curly black hair around her jaws height which gave him a sense of accomplishment in every kiss with it's touch. She had a muscular figure from years of training in the royal army and from working in this bloody business and was a lot taller than him which was a trait she got from her father. She had tan skin from being under the sun most of the times but was wearing a trench coat today since the weather was colder than usual.
She had brown eyes like a forest he would prefer to get lost in for years with no care for the outside world. Her features were on the middle neither sharp or round. She would have been called no more than average by many or even disgusting because of her figure yet for this abomination on his knees she was the most beautiful person out there.
"I....I am sorry for..."
"No need to say anything. No need for that desperate voice or letting tears ruin your beautiful smile.I know what you want to say cutie, after all."
She had a smile on her face, not one painted with sorrow but a wide one shining upon this hell. A smile no one could even imagine even in their wildest fantasies. The most beautiful smile in the world for him.
"I am the person that loves you the most."
Sound of those metal plated boots feels like a requiem from heaven.
I really am in heaven.
End of volume 1: Suffering for Them