Seeing Lin Chudong approach, Qiu Chengdong finally relaxed.
"Is Big Fei okay?"
Lin Chudong nodded. "He's fine."
"Good. Let's get on stage."
***
Second Brother Niu asked, "Big brother, what's going on? That guy just said Big Fei was here."
Eldest Brother Niu frowned. "I don't know. But the name on the door isn't Big Fei. Let's keep looking."
The two Niu brothers grabbed their ladder again and began searching the office.
Spotting a production assistant, they immediately stopped him. "Hey, kid, do you know where Big Fei's office is?"
The production assistant looked surprised. "Didn't you just come out of Brother Fei's lounge?"
"That's Lin Chudong's office, isn't it?" Eldest Brother Niu said.
The production assistant frowned, glanced at the two brothers, and his eyes held a clear, unadulterated foolishness.
"What unit are you from?"
***
Deng Siqing stood before the camera, smiling.
"Remember that little old lady in designer clothes? How many steps does it take to put an elephant in a refrigerator? I still vividly recall that question."
"I wonder what spectacular work the Big Fei Team will bring us this time."
"Please welcome the Big Fei Team!"
Even as Deng Siqing began her introduction, thunderous applause erupted from the audience.
On this stage, Cheng Huanhuan's popularity rivaled, if not surpassed, Deng Siqing's.
Subtitles appeared on the screen:
Planning
Writer: Big Fei
Performers: Big Fei, Cheng Huanhuan, Xie Yujun
Amidst the audience's applause, Cheng Huanhuan reappeared as the makeup-clad little old lady, followed by Xie Yujun.
Xie Yujun held a camera, and the duo's entrance drew continuous applause.
Cheng Huanhuan shouted, "Daughter-in-law! Make some proper dishes—we've got guests at home!"
The live stream chat instantly exploded.
"My goddess Huan is playing the little old lady again! Someone explain what 'qie' means!"
"It's a Northeast dialect word for 'guest'! Sister Huan's Northeast accent is getting so fluent!"
"Where's Big Fei? When is he coming out?"
"Big Fei is busy with acupuncture. He doesn't have time for the show."
"Big Fei wouldn't waste time on those who can't see past their own asses. No point in dealing with them."
***
"Hey, old man, come on out!"
After Cheng Huanhuan shouted from the stage, Lin Chudong emerged wearing his signature black outfit, a cooking apron tied around his waist as he carried a plate of food.
The audience erupted in thunderous applause and wild cheers.
Even Qiu Chengdong was startled by the sheer intensity of Big Fei's popularity.
Cheng Huanhuan said, "I've got a big gig coming up. You need to play along later."
The two men sat down on the edge of the *kang* (heated brick bed). Xie Yujun turned on his camera, stood beside them, and addressed the lens:
"As the saying goes, the world is full of wonders. In the home of the two uncles and aunts behind me, a truly historic event recently occurred: their rooster actually laid an egg!"
On stage, Lin Chudong's face paled. He fled in panic, his awkward few steps immediately sending the audience into fits of laughter.
Cheng Huanhuan chased after him. "Where do you think you're going?"
Lin Chudong glared at him, his expression one of exasperated disappointment. "How can your mouth be so loose? It's like the waistband of a pair of cotton pants!"
"How did we decide that our rooster lays eggs? Is it just the two of us who know, and our son and daughter-in-law don't? Why are you bringing this up here?"
Cheng Huanhuan looked helpless. "What's there to be afraid of?"
Lin Chudong was furious. "What's there to be afraid of? If our rooster lays an egg, doesn't that mean *I'm* pregnant?"
The audience erupted in laughter.
*Big Fei's sketch has such a wild imagination! Where did he even come up with the rooster-laying-eggs gag?*
*And their acting is just superb. In the last sketch, everyone was focused on Cheng Huanhuan. Only now did we realize Big Fei is also great at playing old men.*
"I'm leaving. I'm not arguing with you anymore," Cheng Huanhuan said. "I'm counting. One, two, three!"
Lin Chudong sheepishly returned. "I'm back. What now? You've been using those three numbers to scare me my whole life."
***
"Hahaha! The most famous attraction in Sichuan—the labor-saving Shu Road Mountains!"
"Big Fei's acting is incredible. He really nailed the henpecked husband role."
"Doesn't feel like acting at all. He might be playing himself."
"What an explosive start! Big Fei's going to win it all again this time, right?"
"Too soon to say. The Ant Team's sketch is also pretty strong."
On stage, Lin Chudong held Xie Yujun's hand and said, "Xie, to be honest, ever since your mother became famous for her sketch last time, we've been struggling. We still owe the publisher 20,000 yuan..."
Without a word, Xie Yujun pulled out 20,000 yuan and slapped it on the table.
The elderly couple stared at the money, their language centers completely short-circuited.
"What's going on here?"
***
"Uncle, did this chicken show any signs before laying an egg?"
Lin Chudong blurted out, "No... that's impossible."
Seeing the money, he quickly changed his tune.
"At the time, this chicken was in a state of internal conflict and great turmoil."
"Think about it. Really think about it."
"A rooster, forced to lay an egg. It wasn't his job, but he had to do it."
"How embarrassing! How humiliating for a chicken! What would his peers think? What would the other chickens think? The ducks? The geese? How could he ever show his face in the arts and entertainment world again?"
***
"Hahaha, is Big Fei talking about chickens here? Or is he subtly dissing the entertainment industry?"
"666... The line about how he'll survive in the entertainment industry after this already reveals he's targeting it!"
"Big Fei, is he calling out Zhou Shifang?"
"Zhou Shifang isn't even worthy. I think he's actually targeting Zhang Yiran."
On stage, Lin Chudong continued his impassioned speech.
"In the past, did it hurt those little hens he was with?"
"And when he was a rooster, how would the chicks he hatched call him when they grew up?"
"Dad? No."
"Mom? Nope."
"Aunt? Even worse."
"But he couldn't help but lay eggs—it would drive him crazy if he didn't!"
The audience erupted in laughter. Big Fei's lines were absolute gold.
His vivid performance had the audience roaring with laughter, doubled over in their seats.
***
"And so..." Lin Chudong was running out of ways to continue.
Suddenly, Cheng Huanhuan stood up and declared,
"And so, he made a decision: he'd lay his own egg and let others talk."
Laughter erupted from the audience, drowning out the voices on stage. *Sister Huan was still Sister Huan—that punchline was absolutely brilliant!*
Xie Yujun asked, "Aunties and uncles, where did he lay that egg?"
Lin Chudong rose to his feet, pacing as he pondered.
"Where did he lay it...?"
"He came to the chicken coop, but he was too embarrassed to lay it there."
"He went to the duck rack, but he didn't dare either."
"Finally, guess where he laid it? You tell me."
Cheng Huanhuan slapped her thigh and shouted, "The doghouse!"
Lin Chudong burst out laughing, and the two shared a soul-high-five.
Xie Yujun asked, "Who discovered it?"
Lin Chudong replied, "The puppies!"
Cheng Huanhuan stood up and continued, "The moment the puppy paparazzi found out, the next day, every chicken, duck, goose, dog, and cat in the county knew about it."
The audience roared with laughter. So that's what the doghouse was for—it was just a setup for this punchline!
Several audience members laughed until tears streamed down their faces, clutching their sides and wiping their eyes.
The camera cut to the lounge, where even the Ant Team and Wang Shuai were roaring with laughter. The sketch was an absolute classic, and their performances were peak comedy, making their peers howl with laughter.
This time, Sister Huan had truly solidified her title as the "Queen of Skits."
"How did that guy manage not to laugh? If I were on stage, I'd be bent over double!"
"Big Fei's sketch is definitely a jab at the entertainment industry—his specialty is biting satire."
"Just like when he criticized the judges before, Big Fei talks about something else, but the audience projects their own experiences onto it. You can't blame him."
"The way Big Fei walked those few steps nearly killed me—that's a legendary moment!"
"Big Fei is so clutch! How many legendary moments has he created this year?"
"Any variety show with Big Fei is guaranteed to produce a legendary moment."
"Now, whether it's a variety show or not, you have to glue yourself to the TV when Big Fei shows up. You can't miss a second."
"..."
Cheng Huanhuan continued, "Our chicken became a famous chicken overnight. In the past, it walked with its chest puffed out, head held high, full of swagger. *Click, click, click!*
"Now its walk has changed. I saw it scratching at the ground and thought, 'What's it doing?' But when I looked closer, I realized—it was practicing its signature!"
The audience erupted in laughter again. Cheng Huanhuan's few steps were incredibly vivid. How did these two manage to hold back their laughter?
Even Xie Yujun in the audience was struggling, on the verge of bursting out laughing.
Fortunately, Xie Yujun's character could reasonably laugh without breaking the performance. Otherwise, holding it in would have been quite a challenge.
This was a perfect satire of the entertainment industry—a jab at the current state of young male stars!
Xie Yujun asked, "And where is that egg now?"
Cheng Huanhuan replied, "It was eaten."
She even pointed at Lin Chudong.
Xie Yujun paused. "Eaten? What happened after you ate it?"
Lin Chudong said, "Nothing happened. It was just like a normal egg."
Xie Yujun immediately said, "Uncle, you can't say that. That's not cooperating. It's not like ordinary eggs. You can't claim it's a cure-all. At least it should have some effect. Auntie, look at my 20,000 yuan..."
Cheng Huanhuan immediately understood. "I get it, I get it. Turn on the camera. It can cure diseases, it really can..."
Xie Yujun turned on the camera, and Cheng Huanhuan immediately struck a dramatic pose.
"Many elderly people are plagued by the aftereffects of cerebral thrombosis. My husband suffered a stroke last year. Before he started eating the 'male eggs,' his walking was like this... Husband, show them how Old Wu the Second walks. Hurry up!"
Lin Chudong stood up, holding up six fingers with his left hand and seven with his right. One leg remained straight, the other bent, and he began walking toward the camera one step at a time.
Cheng Huanhuan provided commentary beside him: "After eating the male eggs, his walking is like this."
*Thud!* Lin Chudong collapsed onto the stage.
The audience's laughter drowned out their lines. The three had to wait several seconds for the laughter to subside before they could speak again.
Lin Chudong exclaimed, "Are you trying to scam people?!"
Cheng Huanhuan retorted, "How is this a scam? It's not a fake medicine. It doesn't harm anyone."
"Little Xie, you'll reverse the footage later. Show him falling before and walking after."
***
"I'm dying of laughter—so this is the originator of reverse playback!"
"Good grief, they even satirized TV stations and their shady ads."
"The before-and-after comparison of taking the public egg is too vivid."
"Big Fei's imitation of a stroke is uncanny. Has he ever had one?"
"You'd need at least ten years of stroke history to walk these few steps."
***
"Cheers, Planner Xie! First time seeing you since your aunt became famous. What's your next move?"
Xie Yujun said, "I'm going to hype it up, buy the chicken outright."
Lin Chudong said, "If you're going to hype it up, you need some celebrities—Deng Siqing from CCTV, Yang Han the singer, something like that. Otherwise, it'll be a waste of time."
Xie Yujun said, "Uncle, could you please bring out the chicken?"
While Lin Chudong went to get the chicken, Xie Yujun pulled out a contract. "There's a clause here your aunt needs to see. If she breaches the contract, she has to repay me double—40,000."
Cheng Huanhuan said, "Not double, ten times! I'll give you 200,000. You think I wouldn't let you take her then?"
Xie Yujun said, "Auntie, there's also an endorsement ad here. Could you please film it?"
Cheng Huanhuan stood in front of the camera, holding a slip of paper. "What a catchy phrase! So concise."
"Egg-laying rooster, the fighter jet among roosters, Ooh-yeah!"
Her simple two-step routine sent the entire audience into fits of laughter.
"Give me a side view for editing."
"Egg-laying rooster, the fighter jet among roosters, Ooh-yeah!"
"Now a back view..."
Lin Chudong walked out. Seeing he wasn't carrying the chicken, Cheng Huanhuan said impatiently, "Hurry up and get the chicken for them! I already signed the contract. I'll have to pay them forty thousand..."
Lin Chudong pulled her aside and whispered, "You signed the contract?"
"Yeah."
"How did you move so fast?"
"What's the problem?"
"It's over. I can't get the chicken back. My daughter-in-law stewed it. The one we ate was it."
Cheng Huanhuan's face crumpled in mock distress, and she nearly burst into tears.
"The famine just cost me forty thousand!"
***
"Hahaha, what a twist!"
"Big Fei's skits always have a twist. Remember the one about the staged accident? I was dying of laughter."
"Sister Huan's performance here is legendary! Who's got the boiling water?"
"Sister Huan's 'pain mask' is so vivid—her acting is explosive."
"Oh no, the chicken's been eaten! What happens next?"
"The plot logic is solid. They mentioned earlier that the daughter-in-law didn't know roosters don't lay eggs, which is why she stewed it."
"Big Fei's logic is always so rigorous, unlike Zhou Shifang, who's full of plot holes."
"Haha, now that Big Fei has created another viral moment, it's not Wu Bo getting flamed online—it's Zhou Shifang!"
***
Lin Chudong and Xie Yujun sat facing each other on the *kang* (heated brick bed). "Do you really think this chicken is worth that much? Don't end up losing money."
Xie Yujun replied, "Uncle, let me be honest. If this chicken were in the hands of your elders, it wouldn't be worth a single coin."
"You've entrusted it to me. I'll hype it up, and once I'm done, it'll be worth a fortune."
Lin Chudong asked, "What if it's stewed?"
"It'll still be worth a fortune."
Lin Chudong's eyes lit up. "So this chicken is a 'famous breed'? Whether it's alive or dead, even if it's stewed and eaten, it's still worth a fortune!"
Xie Yujun: "Exactly."
Cheng Huanhuan: "You're a genius!"
The audience erupted in thunderous applause again. This twist was brilliant! Just moments ago, everyone had been worried about what would happen, but now they understood.
Big Fei was about to unleash his full persuasive power!
***
"This piece alone costs two thousand yuan. You can't eat it without paying."
"What about the chicken hearts?"
"Four thousand."
"Chicken livers?"
"Six thousand."
"Chicken kidneys?"
"Eight thousand!"
"That's enough."
Cheng Huanhuan: "You're so clever!"
"Auntie, Uncle, you should eat too! Don't let me have all the fun."
"No, you eat. We can't afford it."
"Uncle, you can't eat any more. You have to let me take this chicken home, no matter what."
Lin Chudong said, "You can't take the chicken, but you can take the meal."
"To be honest, the chicken you wanted was stewed by my daughter-in-law. This one is that same chicken."
"But as you requested, the preparation method is different. You wanted it stir-fried, and we stewed it."
"You've already set the prices. That's the situation. Keep the money if you want, or take it back. If you're willing to eat it, you can take the entire twenty-thousand-yuan feast. We haven't touched a bite. What do you say?"
Cheng Huanhuan's face lit up with excitement.
"You're so clever!"
She immediately leaned in and kissed Lin Chudong's cheek.
The audience erupted in applause and cheers.
*Sister Huan's first on-screen kiss!*
***
"Big Fei is so talented, pulling off a kill with just a sliver of health!"
"This part is so logical, it's a perfect closed loop."
"That's exactly how it is! I'm dying of laughter!"
"Hahaha, a 20,000 yuan feast!"
"This scene is definitely legendary! Big Fei is the new king of sketch comedy!"
"Big Fei and Sister Huan are a golden duo—unbeatable in the comedy world!"
"This is the undisputed champion!"
"Is there something going on between Big Fei and Sister Huan? They're kissing on stage like that—they must be doing even more behind the scenes."
***
In the audience, Deng Siqing rolled her eyes so hard they almost popped out. *Back home, they just put on a show for me. They wouldn't dare act like this in front of me.*
But when they really got on stage, their kiss was so intense.
*That damn Huanhuan... could she actually have feelings for Big Fei?*
She pulled out her phone and sent Cheng Huanhuan a WeChat message: *You're just a secondary maid. Trying to usurp the throne?*
***
At the hotel, Lin Qiqi and Song Jing were lying in bed watching TV. Song Jing was laughing so hard she was practically crying.
"Big Fei is just hilarious! I'm about to die from laughing."
She turned to look at Lin Qiqi, whose face was serious as she scrolled through her phone, seemingly researching something.
"Qiqi, what are you doing?"
Lin Qiqi narrowed her eyes, engrossed in her search.
*Can a 24-year-old actress really transition to comedy?*
*Is comedy acting really that difficult?*
*How long does it take to become a comedy actor?*
*Do comedians really fall in love with each other?*
*How can I become a queen of sketch comedy?*
*Can roosters really lay eggs?*
*Which came first, the chicken or the egg?*
Hearing Sister Song's call, Lin Qiqi put down her phone and asked, "Sister Song, do you think eating rooster eggs really boosts your brainpower?"
-----------------------
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