Self-loathing was a classic in the Type-Moon world. There were far too many examples of it.
For the Wise King, that arrogant, flashy golden phase of his was a dark history he had no desire to look back on.
"You brought your whole harem with you? What, are you here on vacation?" Gilgamesh looked at all of Koji's girlfriends, the corner of his mouth twitching.
If that was the case, then he had really picked a great time to visit.
"More or less. I had nothing better to do, so I brought my girlfriends out for a trip," Koji said with a nod.
"Do as you please. Siduri, I'll leave entertaining them to you."
"Understood."
Siduri nodded. With how observant she was, she already understood what Gilgamesh meant.
Koji and his group were no ordinary guests, so they had to be treated properly from here on out, even in such a special period.
"Goldie—!"
A sharp, ringing voice echoed through the palace. Gilgamesh pressed a hand to his forehead, looking utterly fed up.
"It's that idiot again. What a hopeless moron."
Rumble!
The roof of the palace shook violently, and a huge hole was blasted right through it as the goddess Ishtar made her grand entrance.
"I heard that, Goldie. This place would be better off destroyed!" Ishtar said coldly.
She really could not stand the sight of Gilgamesh.
"Oh? Ishtar, long time no see—"
"Long time no—my foot! We just saw each other not that long ago. Wait, why are you all here?!"
The moment Ishtar saw Koji's smiling face, alarm bells went off in her head. Why did she have to run into this guy again?
After all, Koji knew she had lost the Bull of Heaven. If Gilgamesh found out, she would definitely get laughed at.
"So you know each other. What happened? Tell me and let this king enjoy the joke," Gilgamesh said, catching the scent of gossip at once.
"Nothing happened. I'm leaving."
Ishtar could not be bothered to trade barbs with Gilgamesh. She immediately rode off on Maanna and hurried away from the palace. Better for him to find out later than to laugh at her right now.
Siduri watched Ishtar rush off, confusion on her face. This time, the goddess had not caused a scene at all.
"Hahaha! Do you people have some leverage over that idiot goddess? You scared her off just like that?" Gilgamesh could not help laughing.
Anyone with eyes could see how guilty Ishtar looked. She very obviously did not want to face Koji and the others.
"That's right, Goldie. Want to hear about it?" Koji asked.
"Later. I've had enough amusement for today. No point devouring it all at once," Gilgamesh said, shaking his head. He planned to savor it another time.
Koji nodded. Since Gilgamesh did not want to know yet, he would not say anything more. When the time came for Gilgamesh to use the Bull of Heaven and he learned it was gone, the look on his face was definitely going to be priceless.
"All right, Siduri, I'm leaving them in your hands."
Siduri nodded and walked over to Koji's group.
"Goldie, you should get some rest once in a while. If you die from overwork, we'll laugh at you for two and a half years," Koji said meaningfully.
"..." Gilgamesh's mouth twitched. "What kind of joke is that? I'm a demigod. How could I possibly die from overwork?"
Although he really had been tired lately, something like that happening to him was impossible.
Koji only smiled meaningfully.
Go ahead and laugh when you reach the underworld.
...
The houses in Uruk during this era were either mud houses or brick-and-stone structures. That was hardly surprising. Compared to some of Teyvat's architecture, they looked even more ancient.
"Want to try some specialty dishes from our world?" Koji asked.
"Yes. Of course. Why would I turn down free food?"
Fujimaru Ritsuka nodded without hesitation. Mash shook her head. Her senpai really did not know the meaning of holding back around strangers.
"Sabz stew. A special flavored stew so tender that even the elderly and children can chew it easily."
"Black-Back Perch Stew. It's a bit like boiled fish, but the texture is even better. The flesh is incredibly smooth and tender."
"Sweet Madame. Roasted after being glazed in nectar. The tender poultry is filled with the sweet fragrance of Sweet Flower honey. It's absolutely delicious."
...
But Fujimaru Ritsuka was not listening at all. Just smelling the aroma of all those dishes was enough to make her nearly lose control of her drool, and she kept swallowing hard.
They were all ingredients she had never eaten before. The color, the aroma, the presentation—even without tasting them, how could they possibly be bad...?
"Miss Siduri, join us too. One more pair of chopsticks won't make a difference," Koji said with a smile.
Siduri's fate later on was a bit tragic, so he might as well change that. When the time came, there was no way she would die.
"May I?"
Siduri hesitated. She had eaten many things before, but this was the first time she had ever smelled food this fragrant.
"Of course. No need to be polite."
At that moment, the world where only Goldie got hurt had been achieved. Everyone here was enjoying gourmet food while he was over there suffering through his miserable work.
"Waaah... what were all the things I ate before even supposed to be?" Fujimaru Ritsuka sounded like she was about to cry from how good the food was.
Teyvat might look somewhat backward, with its technology having developed down a different path, but its cuisine had none of that artificial nonsense. The ingredients were all fresh, so naturally the flavor was beyond criticism.
Of course, that only applied if you bought from proper restaurants. It did not rule out the occasional place using inferior ingredients.
The dishes Koji had brought out were all made from fresh, natural ingredients, so everyone could eat without a worry.
"The taste is excellent. Very nice, very nice," Merlin said in satisfaction.
"It's a shame Liyah isn't here. This would be even more fun if she were."
As Artoria's mentor, Merlin understood Liyah all too well.
"Merlin, if the King of Knights appeared right in front of you, do you think she'd beat you up on the spot?" Koji asked with great interest.
"If it were one of the other Knights of the Round Table, then yes, that might happen. But if it's Liyah, she wouldn't attack the moment we met."
Merlin thought it over. Artoria was the King of Knights. A knight's etiquette would prevent her from striking the moment they met.
That said, if he started acting like his usual obnoxious self afterward, then getting blasted with Excalibur would be entirely possible.
"What if it was the corrupted version?"
"Koji, you mean the black King of Knights?" Fujimaru Ritsuka asked.
The Artoria she had met was dressed in black and had no ahoge sticking up from her head.
"Yeah, that one."
"If it's her... then yes, she really might attack immediately," Merlin said after thinking about it.
If it were Black Saber, then he really would need to be careful. Going dark made you ten times stronger, and Black Saber definitely would not go easy on him.
If it were the other Knights of the Round Table, at worst they would only kick over his meal.
(End of Chapter)
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