Author's Note:
I had a little idea, so here's an interlude chapter. This one takes place in the past. It's the story of that time I participated in a certain event I briefly mentioned before.
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This was from a little while before the present... back when the Original Work hadn't started yet.
Ring ring ring... ring ring ring...
"Hello? This is World Economic News, Morgans speaking..."
"Oh, hello, Morgans? It's me, Sue. ...Sorry for the sudden call, but... I was wondering if I could ask you something... or rather, if you could help me out."
"Well, that really is out of the blue, Sue. Did something happen? I hope it's something I can help with..."
"...I'll just come right out and say it. The next Tea Party... you're invited too, right, Morgans? Please, go with me."
"! Don't tell me... you were invited too? To Big Mom's... Tea Party?"
"Yeah... first time. I don't know how any of it works, I'm scared. I'm super anxious. Please help me."
"O-oh, oh, okay... yeah. Sounds like it's seriously bad. Alright, let's go together."
"Thank you so much... I'm incredibly grateful..."
Now, let me rewind a bit... and start with an explanation.
I'd finished my leisure tour of the Four Seas and returned to the Grand Line, where I'd been taking it easy and traveling at a relaxed pace for a while.
I was on a certain island, soaking up the resort atmosphere and eating sweets, when a completely unexpected visitor showed up.
I'd been lounging in a beach chair, sipping a Hawaiian-style drink (this world doesn't have Hawaii, but still), when the beach suddenly got really noisy... and the commotion kept getting closer and closer.
Eventually I couldn't ignore it and looked over to see what was going on...
"Found you! You're the Pirate Literary Master, ain't ya, gao!"
"...Huh?"
A bipedal lion wearing sunglasses was standing there, fist pumped in triumph.
On the beach. Wearing a full suit over all that fluffy fur.
"...You look hot. Are you okay?"
"Thanks for the concern! Honestly it's hot as hell, but I'm gutting it out on sheer willpower until the job's done, gao! ...So let me get this job wrapped up quick."
Wait, this guy, I'm pretty sure he appeared in the One Piece Original Work... a combatant of the Big Mom Pirates...
His name was Pekoms, right? Bounty of over three hundred million. Quite a big deal.
What was someone like that doing here... and what business could he have with me?
He pulled something like a letter out of his bag and handed it over... what was this?
"An 'invitation'...?"
"Yeah, it's an invitation to the Tea Party from our Mama... Big Mom, gao!"
He gave me a quick rundown afterward. Apparently Big Mom, one of the Four Emperors, regularly holds events called Tea Parties.
She invites notable figures from all walks of life, primarily powerbrokers from the Underworld, and they all gather to enjoy pleasant conversation over tea and sweets, having a wonderful time together. Or so it goes.
Of course, it's not purely for enjoyment. It's also an opportunity to rub shoulders with the Underworld's biggest players... so everyone uses it for that purpose. Like a high-society social gathering, basically.
Sometimes it's just conversation, while other times there's some kind of event held alongside it. A famous traveling troupe's show, or a Wedding for one of Big Mom's family members.
Or the execution of idiots who'd made enemies of the Big Mom Pirates, or an Unveiling of treasure plundered from nations they'd destroyed.
...The gap between the fun, celebratory events and the brutal ones was pretty stark.
So an invitation to one of these Tea Parties had been delivered to me. When I asked Pekoms about it, he told me it was essentially a summons that couldn't be refused.
If you didn't attend, someone's head, someone connected to you, would arrive as a gift at a later date... The idea was merciless and terrifying. Pirates, am I right? Yeah, no way I could refuse that...
Since there was effectively no choice, I told him "I'll attend" and sent Pekoms on his way for the time being.
Before he left, he gave me some advice: "If you're worried about etiquette and stuff, just rely on Morgans." They'd done their homework on my connections, too.
I'd heard that Big Mom's intelligence network was said to be the best among Pirates... and it really did seem formidable.
...I really was feeling anxious about all sorts of things, and I wanted an escort. I'd swallow my pride and ask that guy for help.
So, as I showed at the beginning, I consulted with Morgans... asked about everything in advance... and then...
The day arrived.
'I've prepared a gift for the host, my outfit is properly formal... It's fine, it's fine...'
The invitation included clear instructions on how to reach the Tea Party venue.
If an ordinary ship carelessly approached Big Mom's territory, it wouldn't be allowed in. In the worst case, it could be mistaken for an enemy vessel, intercepted, and sunk.
So there was a proper procedure laid out, or rather, specified.
First, you could take your own ship to a nearby island, so everyone arranged their own transport to get that far.
From there, you'd board a shuttle ship arranged by the Big Mom Pirates for Tea Party attendees and head to Whole Cake Island, where the venue was. That way, you could enter the territory without issue.
For this trip, I had Morgans let me ride along from the "own ship" stage onward.
Walking beside Morgans, who cut a sharp figure in his suit, I was a little... no, quite stiff with nerves, but I tried to look as natural as possible while following along. And the moment we boarded the ship prepared by the Big Mom Pirates... I was immediately floored.
'What is this noisy space...'
'Don't mind it. You'll get used to it soon.'
The doors talked.
The tables talked.
The curtains talked.
The tea pots talked.
Even the pancakes served as light refreshments talked.
It was a space that went past fancy and circled right back around to horror-movie territory.
...I'd been warned about this beforehand, but... so this was the power of Big Mom's Soul-Soul Fruit...
The ability to put human Souls into all manner of objects, bringing them to life. A truly outrageous power.
Apart from being visually and audibly overwhelming, it wasn't actually harmful or anything, so that was fine... Since I'd never have the chance to spend time in a space like this otherwise, it was a strange but worthwhile Experience in its own right.
...But seriously, could they maybe not make the food talk?
Pancakes, Biscuits... it kills the appetite. Having them sitting on plates going "Eat me, eat me!" was downright macabre...
Morgans and the other passengers seemed used to it, eating without batting an eye...
O-okay, I'll follow their example and just... go for it. Chomp.
"Gyaaah, I'm being eaten!"
"Is it good? Is it good?"
"Aah, I'm being swallowed!"
...My mouth was noisy. This was without a doubt a first-in-my-life Experience...
When I chewed and swallowed, it said "Goodbye, goodbyeee!" all the way down... until it dropped into my stomach...
'Is this what the ogre who swallowed Issun-boshi felt like... I've written a picture book with similar content before, but I never thought I'd actually have this experience. ...I'm definitely using this for something later.'
...The taste was good, though. I really wished I could have just eaten it in peace and quiet...
After riding along for a while, we finally arrived at Whole Cake Island, where the party venue was located.
This floored me too.
The entire town was... made of sweets. All of it real, all of it edible. Astonishing.
It was like stepping into a fairy tale... a storybook world.
No, even in fairy tales, there might be a house made of sweets, but an entire town of sweets was probably rare. At least, I couldn't think of a fitting example off the top of my head.
...The whole town smelled incredibly, sweetly wonderful.
Didn't bugs swarm this place? And since it was food, wouldn't it spoil and rot... Wait, they rebuilt everything each time the expiration date came around!? That's amazing...
They had such an abundance of ingredients that they could use them this lavishly... What was this island's food self-sufficiency rate, a few hundred thousand percent?
From there, we took a carriage along the road and arrived at Whole Cake Castle, standing at the center of town.
An impossibly huge castle shaped like a whole cake. Following our guide through its interior, we made our way up to the rooftop where the Tea Party venue was. After a simple security check, we were admitted inside.
"Kuwahahaha, this place looks delicious no matter how many times I come!"
Morgans laughed like that as we entered, and... that was exactly what it was like.
Not "delicious" as in a place where you could eat good food, or a restaurant in that sense... the place itself literally looked delicious.
The town on the way here and the castle's interior had been impressive enough, but this was on another level.
Look left, look right: nothing but sweets. Sweets everywhere.
The food lined up on each table, obviously, but also the tables and chairs and other furniture, the party decorations, everything was made of sweets. All edible.
I was genuinely shocked to learn that even some of the tableware was made of sweets.
As if showing me how it was done, Morgans ate a piece of cake he'd received from a server, and then... just snapped the fork in his hand and ate that too. I was stunned.
Made of Candies, apparently. Are you serious... How far removed from everyday reality was this space?
I followed suit. With the spoon that came alongside my hot tea, I scooped up some sugar, stirred it in, and... the spoon melted! It was Candies too!
I took a sip. ...Delicious.
The sweetness from the Candies and the sugar mellowed the tea's flavor... creating a smooth, easy-to-drink blend.
'This isn't some casual whim or novelty "sweets party." Both the flavors and the presentation are calculated and crafted at an incredibly high level...'
One sip of tea was all it took to realize that.
As expected of the Four Emperors... this was a party hosted by an Empress of the Sea.
'When I first got the invitation, I thought I'd gotten roped into something terrifying, but... this might actually be a stroke of luck, getting invited to a place where I can have such a great Experience...! And the party hasn't even started yet... this is incredible. I can't help but look forward to what's coming.'
"Kuwahahaha, looks like the tension's finally leaving you, Sue."
Morgans, right beside me, had apparently seen right through me.
Or maybe my demeanor had just been that obvious?
"Think about it. Empress she may be, she's still a Pirate. It's not as though she prefers the stuffy, prim-and-proper dinner parties that Nobles throw. As long as you don't cross the line into outright rudeness or behave without common sense, this is a place to simply enjoy good food and good conversation. ...Though I won't deny that everyone here has likely gathered with their own various agendas."
Saying that, Morgans glanced at the pocket watch in his hand.
The time was 9:45 AM. The Tea Party started at 10, so... there was still a little while to go.
Just as I was thinking that, I noticed two people walking toward us from across the venue.
A beat later, Morgans noticed them too and turned to face the pair. He seemed to know them.
"Oh my, Morgans, you're here too. And who might this be...?"
"Showin' up with a lady on your arm, must be nice bein' you, eh."
One was an incredibly beautiful woman, dressed with poise, her look pulled together with high-end accessories and a dress that was elegant yet refined.
The other was a large man with a round face, a cigar clamped between his teeth, and a prominent scar on his face. He didn't exactly look like someone on the right side of the law.
"Well hello, Stussy, lovely as always. And Lu Feld... honestly, you never tire of picking at me, do you? I'm afraid today I'm escorting a lady who's attending this party for the first time... so I'd appreciate a bit of restraint."
As he spoke, he glanced my way with a look that prompted me to act, so I gave a brief greeting and introduced myself.
Hi there, I'm Sue. Pleased to make your acquaintance.
"! I knew it... you're the Pirate Literary Master, aren't you? It's an honor to meet you."
"Oho... so you're the one..."
Stussy and Lu Feld both apparently knew who I was, and they returned my greeting with smiles and handshakes.
Wait, you're both fans? How lovely, I'm honored.
...Actually, now that I thought about it, Lu Feld was probably the person who sent me a fan letter before... That was quite a while ago, I think, but he'd been reading my work all this time? That made me happy.
...Lu Feld's epithet was apparently the Loan Shark King, and... the work he'd sent the fan letter about was Loan Shark Taurus-kun, if I recalled correctly... I could only pray the tricks and methods in that story hadn't been put to nefarious use.
And the other one, Stussy, was called the Queen of the Pleasure District.
She told me, "You simply must come visit sometime!" The pleasure district, huh... I'd never been particularly interested, so I'd never gone. But it did seem like the kind of place where I could have some new experiences...
I'd just been reminded that turning my nose up at any kind of experience was a bad habit... so maybe I'd give it some thought later.
While chatting away with such thoughts in mind... from beyond the large doors at the front of the venue... an overwhelmingly massive presence appeared.
Even at the faint level of Observation Haki that I used unconsciously, I could sense it. There was no missing it.
My body stiffened involuntarily, and my gaze was drawn in that direction.
'...I can't even see her yet, and this presence... It's clearly above Papa's level...!'
Then the great doors opened, and from beyond them, a single woman revealed herself, possessing a towering frame measuring who-knows-how-many meters.
One of the four Emperors who reign over these seas... and the Queen who rules over the entirety of the land of sweets, Totto Land.
One of the Four Emperors, Big Mom.
Charlotte Linlin.
"Thank ya all for comin' from so far awaaay! Whether it's your first time or you've been here before, eat and drink to your hearts' content and have yourselves a good tiiime! Now then, let the Tea Party begiiiin!"
My first time attending one of Big Mom's Tea Parties.
An event that was both frightening and exciting raised its curtain.
To be continued...