MID JULY LAST YEAR, AT THE COFFEE SHOP
"Daphne, I'm sorry," he began, a lump already having formed in his throat. "Astoria told me what happened. I should've known that you wouldn't have not come for a good reason, and you were completely right to not tell me the real reason."
Her expression had shifted slightly, and Blake could tell she was listening properly.
"I know there's not really an excuse for me not trusting you but I have reasons, if that makes sense?"
He watched to see if she would object to him trying to explain, but she didn't. He drew in a deep breath.
"I really like you, Daphne. Uh - not in like, a friend way," he rectified, unable to prevent himself from stammering slightly or blushing, and Daphne smiled gently, making it a hundred times worse.
"I mean, I do like you as a friend," he continued. "But I mean, I like you more than that. As in, romantically - and, well, we're really close, and I trust you a lot. And when I started thinking to myself - why you didn't come to help us - I started to overthink, even though I knew you must've had your reasons. Again," he rushed, "I know it's no excuse, and I should've known better, but that's why. I-" he hesitated for a moment, trying to find the right words to be honest without seeming like a fool.
"I've always been afraid of counting on people. So after the Quidditch World Cup, I thought-," he swallowed, "I felt like I had been counting on you to come and help me, and when you didn't it-"
"It felt like you'd been right to be afraid all along," she finished softly.
"Yeah," he nodded with a mirthless smile. "I got in my own head, and I made excuses to myself that I'd been right, and that I was doing the right thing. I've always hated the fact that I struggle with, like, being vulnerable with people, but I also hate the fact that I still rely on people - be it in combat, or academics, or business, or even just for my own happiness. I know that doesn't make a lot of sense, but-"
"It does make sense," she said. "You know you should be vulnerable with people that have proven themselves to you, but you also hate the fact that you can't do it all yourself - that you need other people, no matter how small or large in capacity. You feel like you're not doing enough for them - almost as if, you alone should be enough to deal with your own problems, and theirs too, and anything less than that is letting everyone - yourself included - down."
Blake's chest loosened slightly.
"Yeah," he said quietly. "But I knew all of that about myself, and I still chose to ignore it, and validate my own insecurities and weaknesses. And then, at the Yule Ball-"
He saw Daphne's tense slightly, and his chest tightened more than it ever had before.
"I couldn't even stick to my conviction, and we…"
There was an uncomfortable silence between them.
"That was really unfair of me," he said, almost whispering. "And I'm so sorry."
Daphne paused for just a moment that seemed like aeons to Blake before speaking.
"You don't have to be sorry, Blake," she said, smiling softly. "I know you. I never held it against you, even for a second."
"You should've," he said roughly, "I would've."
"That's a lie, and you know it," she replied.
There was another short pause.
"So, you forgive me?" he asked, ashamed.
"I told you," she said, smiling again, "To me, there was never anything to forgive."
There was a strange feeling in Blake's chest. His heart felt like it was soaring with happiness, knowing Daphne hadn't been angry, but somehow, it made the guilt that had been sitting in his chest ever since the last day of school - no, since even before that - a million times worse.
She was never even angry.
"By the way," he said mechanically, not trying to look stupid in his haze, "I came up with a plan to destroy the marriage contract. I was thinking-"
"Oh please," she smirked, and for a second, everything was back to normal. "Do you think my family and I would've let their threat stand? It was destroyed a week after the Quidditch World Cup."
"Huh? But how? I would've assumed that there would be blood magic on the house and vaults, no? And there's no way they didn't have security, right?" Blake was shaken out of his stupor, amazed.
"I don't know what to say," she replied. "I thought so too. There were some defenses, but it was nothing we couldn't handle - but to be honest, it seemed to me like someone had intentionally left a few of the spells and enchantments inactivated, or even outright cancelled before we got there. No hired protection, either, even though the intelligence we had suggested there should've been."
Someone cancelled them? he wondered in confusion. But they could only be cancelled by someone in the Malfoy family. I know they don't have any extended family under the Malfoy name, so it has to be one of the immediate family - Draco, Lucius or the mother. There's no way Lucius would do that - would Draco or his wife? No, it can't be Draco - if he knew that existed, he would've blabbed about it to me by now to get one over me. So it's the mum? But why…
"Anyway, there's something I need to say," she said suddenly. Blake looked up, expectantly, and saw she wasn't smiling anymore. Dread settled at the bottom of his gut.
"I like you too, Blake," she said, seeming to blush for just a half second, and for a moment, Blake thought he'd been wrong to be afraid of what she was going to say. He couldn't help but break into the widest grin he'd ever smiled in his whole life as he eagerly anticipated her next words.
"But I don't think we're good for each other."
Oh.
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