I'm supposed to be dead…" Jamie whispered, his voice hoarse.
But he wasn't.
Gradually, his eyes fluttered open. The sharp sting of light made him squint, and his senses came rushing back—grass brushing against his skin, the earthy scent of soil, the distant sound of rushing water. He sat up slowly, scanning the strange landscape around him. Towering trees, wide plains, and not a single familiar landmark in sight.
Before panic could set in—
Ding!
The now-familiar digital chime echoed in his head, followed by a mocking voice:
"How does it feel to die, motherfucker?"
Jamie's jaw dropped. Rage boiled up inside him like an erupting volcano.
"FUCK YOUUUU!!!" he roared, throwing his fists at the empty sky. "You're useless! Goddammit, you lying son of a bitch System!"
His curses spilled out for a solid thirty seconds, loud enough to scare away a flock of birds overhead. By the time he finally ran out of breath, he collapsed back onto the grass, chest heaving.
"Whew… okay… done cursing. Damn, now I'm stressed because of this fucking System. Why?! Why did you do that to me?!"
The blue screen pulsed gently, as if amused by his tantrum.
[Answer: Your five wishes only activate upon death.]
Jamie froze. "...What?"
[Clarification: Since you lacked the courage to take your own life, I took the liberty of… handling the process for you. Secretly.]
Jamie's eyes bulged. "WHAT THE HELL?! You—You KILLED me without telling me?!"
[Correction: I helped you. Otherwise, you'd still be rotting away in your dull world, hating Tengen Uzui's three wives.]
Jamie's face twitched violently. "Motherfucker…!"
He clenched his fists, about to explode again—but then his expression softened. He replayed the words in his head.
"…Now that I think about it… yeah. He's right. Why would I suddenly kill myself? I'm not that crazy yet."
The realization made him sigh, half-defeated, half-annoyed. "Goddammit. I hate that you're right."
The System's text flickered once more, smugly:
[You're welcome.]
Just then—
AGHHHHHHHHH!
A searing pain exploded inside my skull, so sharp and violent I thought my brain was going to melt. I clutched my head, thrashing on the ground as the agony tore through me like knives.
"MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!!!" I screamed, my voice breaking.
Minutes dragged by like hours. My screams turned into ragged gasps. And then, as suddenly as it came, the pain began to fade, leaving me trembling and drenched in sweat.
"Haaah… Haaah…" I panted, my chest heaving.
But the torment had left something behind.
Images. Memories. Thoughts that weren't mine.
I froze as they poured into my mind, one after another, unstoppable. Names, faces, battles, blood. And then—clarity.
"…This… these are the memories of the original body," I whispered, my voice shaking.
And with it, the truth hit me like a hammer.
"This body's name… is Tengen Hatake."
I staggered to my feet, finding a river nearby and leaning over its surface. My reflection stared back at me, and my jaw dropped.
White hair. Sharp, flamboyant features. Jewelry and markings that were unmistakable.
"…The hell?!" My voice cracked. "This is… Tengen Uzui's face!! Are you kidding me?!"
My hands trembled as I touched my reflection, disbelief clawing at me.
"Out of all people… why HIM?!" I groaned. "The one character I hated the most in Demon Slayer! Well… okay, not hated—jealous of. Because he had three wives while I had zero! ZERO! Not even a hand-holding experience!"
I cursed at the sky, but no one answered. Only the rustling of leaves and the distant clash of steel in the air.
Then, another realization dawned.
The timeline. The memories confirmed it.
"…This is the Warring States Period."
My heart dropped into my stomach.
The Warring States Period. A time before Konoha, before Hokage, before the world knew peace. Back then, shinobi weren't heroes—they were mercenaries, weapons of war rented by daimyo and clans.
Children were sent to battlefields before they could even write their own names. Families lived and died by the sword, and entire clans were wiped out overnight. Every day was soaked in blood, betrayal, and revenge.
This was the age where titans walked the land: the Senju, the Uchiha, the Hyūga, and countless others, locked in endless struggle. It was a world where life was cheap, and the only law was strength.
And now… I was in the middle of it.
"…Fuckkkkkk," I groaned, dragging a hand down my face. "I'm so fucked."
Just as I was trying to calm myself down, the screen flickered again.
[Since the host already knows where he is, the great me has now decided to grant the host a gift.]
"...A gift?" I muttered, blinking.
[Congratulations! The host has unlocked: Water Breathing and Thunder Breathing.]
My jaw dropped. "W-WOAHHHH! That's amazing!" My heart actually leapt. For a moment, I forgot how pissed I was.
But then the next line appeared.
[Reminder: With these gifts, you now have only three wishes remaining.]
"...What?" My eyes widened. "What the actual fuck do you mean three?! I didn't even make a wish yet!!!"
I clutched my hair, pulling at it in frustration. "This system is driving me crazy! You're using my wishes as you damn please!!"
The screen pulsed again, smug as ever.
[Question: Do you also want Sound Breathing—the original technique of this body?]
I froze. "...Wait. If I say yes, that'll cost me another wish, won't it?"
[Confirmed. That would be your third wish.]
"FUCK FUCK NOOO! Stop it! Don't you dare count that as a wish!" I screamed at the empty air. "System, you bastard!"
I collapsed on the grass, groaning in despair. My life as a cheat main character was already off to a terrible start.
But as the anger subsided, another realization struck me. My body felt… strange. Lighter. Weaker. Something was missing.
I sat up quickly, panic flashing through me. "Wait… why don't I feel any chakra? What the hell happened to me?!"
The System's reply was cold and blunt.
[Answer: Since you are not a native of this world, I had to extract certain things to create your new 'character template.' This included the previous owner's chakra network and techniques.]
My stomach dropped. "…You WHAT?! So you stripped me of chakra?! Do you have any idea what that means here?!"
Images from the body's memories surfaced—missions, ambushes, battles painted in blood. The previous Tengen Hatake had been a skilled jonin of the clan, a man who survived countless Battles. And now?
"Goodbye, jonin strength…" I muttered bitterly, slumping back against a tree.
I sighed heavily, my chest tight with frustration. "The owner of this body wasn't bad. He fought, he survived, he earned his rank. And now all of it's gone. Just like that."
The System, unbothered as ever, flickered another message.
[Correction: You are not powerless. You now possess two Breathing Styles. Master them, and you can reach strength beyond shinobi.]
I clenched my fists. As much as I hated to admit it, the System wasn't wrong.
Water Breathing. Thunder Breathing. Vivid instructions played in my mind like scenes from a movie—stances, movements, breaths. I knew how to use them, but my body wasn't ready. I would need training, long hours of practice, and adaptation to make these techniques my own.
Which meant… I couldn't afford to waste my remaining wishes. Not with this cursed System pulling tricks on me.
"I need to be careful. I need to think wisely. I can't trust this bastard. Every word could be a trap."
I pushed myself to my feet, brushing dirt off my new clothes. My new life was only beginning, but already the weight of the Warring States pressed down on me.
"Well…" I muttered, exhaling slowly. "Time to head home."