Chapter 47: A Windy Excursion
"Excuse me? Did you just say that World War 2 starts in three days?" My fellow enhanced of the alley asked me.
"No, I said that it started in three days." I said. "There's a way you say things when it comes to time travel."
"Yeah well for me, it starts in three days, while for you, it started in three days." She shot back.
I paused for a second, thinking about it. "Fair enough." I acquiesced.
"Hmm, what's the plan then?" She asked.
I heard a groan from the dumpster, and we both looked at it, then at each other.
"Fellow dumpster divers of yours?" She asked, quirking an eyebrow at me.
"Let's hope so." I said, then I listened for the heartbeat.
It was carefully controlled, sending a message in Morse code: fuck you, goblin.
"Please don't be a trap." I whispered, cautiously walking back to the dumpster.
We crouched at the dumpster, and slowly raised our heads, peeking in the dumpster to find…
Nothing?
"AAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Someone screamed from inside the dumpster all of a sudden, and jumped into the air, as the two of us jumped a little at the sound.
We both looked up, to see Miles (Not that she knew) crouching on the wall, and he had the audacity to wink at me after giving me that small jump scare.
"Miles, I really want to hit you right now." I said, glaring at him.
"You know him?" She asked, looking at me. "He needs to get spanked by his mom, big time."
"Yeah." I said. "But seeing that his mother is in the future, I ask for permission to spank him."
"Permission granted." She said.
"Who are you, Miss Platinum Blonde?" Miles asked as he slowly backed up on the wall.
"I'm Anne Smith, not Platinum Blonde." She said, "I'm a freak who doesn't get older as fast as most people, so I'm actually 50, but I look 25. It gets even slower as I get older. I can also tell if you're telling the truth, and I have impeccable aim."
"One: you're not a freak, you're an enhanced human." I said. "Two: so that's why you didn't freak out when I told you we were from the future."
"Your buddy ran away." She commented. "But yes, that's why I didn't freak out. And also, enhanced sounds much better than freak."
"I'll get him later." I said, waving my hand in dismissal. "Now, would you be a dear, and give me a tour of your majestic city?"
"Oh, totally!" She said with exaggerated excitement. "Follow me!"
"Wait!" I said. "I have to dress in clothes suitable for a man of honor." I said, then I used the AI I installed into the suit as a precautionary backup to change into overalls and a plaid shirt, while concealing my legs.
"That's… better but it looks like you just moved in from the South." Anne commented, giving me a look over.
"Maybe I did." I said cheekily. "Unless you want me to wear a suit and tie."
"No, this works." She said, "But your friend…"
"Miles get your sorry a- body down here right now." I said, looking at the rooftops, sneaking a slight look at Anne when I nearly slipped and cursed.
"I'm Brooklyn born and raised, a little cursing doesn't make me run away." She said, looking at me amusedly.
Miles came down, and looked at the two of us, while removing his mask and switching his suit for a pair of jeans and a black shirt.
"Please don't get mad at me for scaring you guys." He said.
"Karma's a son of a bitch, Miles." I said simply, smirking at him while turning around and facing the exit of the alley. I walked towards the exit. "Karma's a son of a bitch."
"Karma?" Anne asked, catching up to me. "What's that?"
"Hmm." I said, thinking of a way to explain. "Let's say I fell on the floor because of a puddle of water. Not that it would happen because I'm like too good at what I do to just fall over a puddle, but this is just an example."
"Of course." She said, sending a knowing smirk at me as the three of us walked side-by-side. "Just an example, it won't ever happen."
"Yes, just an example." I said. "And then, you laugh at me. Which I wouldn't be surprised if you did, but who cares. Anyways, you laugh at me, then you fall into a puddle yourself. That would be Karma."
"Revenge in the form of bad luck." Anne summarized, then she looked up at me for confirmation, and I nodded. "Ok, how tall and how old are you, and what's your name?"
"I'm not sure how tall I am, and I'm like really old, and my name is Peter Parker." I said.
"How do you not know your height or age?" She asked, bewildered.
"Ok, let's check my height." I said, looking down and calculating."I'm 6' 5". And you really don't want to know my age."
"Why, you're underage?" She asked. "That's real cute, I know you're not."
I opened my mouth, then closed it again. I sighed, then "I'm like, older than this universe."
She looked at me in bewilderment, nearly bumping into a fellow pedestrian if I hadn't pulled her into me and away from the path of the pedestrian.
"Come again?" She asked, looking at me.
"I said, I'm older than this universe." I said, smirking at her. "Problem there, Truthseeker?"
"You're… not lying." She said, looking at me, surprised.
"No, I'm not." I said.
"Damn." She said, thinking. "That's actually crazy."
"Yeah." I said.
"So what's the plan Peter?" Miles asked. "Are we just going to go back your way?"
I opened my fist to look at my piece of the Siege Perilous, and looked at Miles. "You have another piece, right?" I asked him.
"Yeah." He said, handing it to me.
"No, keep it." I said. "Don't join the two just yet, we don't know what type of beacon that might send, and we're not ready for that type of attention."
"True." He said, then he pocketed it.
"So, you guys aren't here just as a tourist thing, right?" Anne asked, and we both shook our heads. "So who do you need to find?"
Miles and I looked at each other. "Stark?" He asked.
"No." I said. "The United States doesn't involve itself till later, but that doesn't mean Project Manhattan wouldn't be started before they got involved. At the same time, it would seem suspicious that we would align ourselves with him right before the war. Oh and also, my maternal grandparents are both close to him right now."
"Who are your maternal grandparents?" Anne asked.
"Steve Rogers and Peggy Carter." I said. At the name Peggy Carter, she gave me a look, and I chuckled. "Yeah, you only know my grandmother's name, don't worry, he'll become pretty famous in the next few years."
"War hero?" She asked.
"More like war sacrifice, but same thing." I said.
"So Stark is a no, where to then?" Miles asked.
"Other enhanced?" I shrugged. "I don't see anywhere else to go."
"Wait." Miles said. "We need to form a list of objectives."
"Anne, can we crash at your place?" I asked.
"Of course." She said.
We were all sprawled on Anne's bed with a bowl of popcorn that I made in the middle of us, with a holograph as our list.
"So, one: sabotage Cerebro." Miles said.
"Cerebro?" Anne asked.
"A super machine that people can use for mind reading." I said.
"Yes." Miles said. "All cool, we know. But we need to focus on this. What's two?"
"We need to gather intel." I said. "We need to see Goblin before he sees us."
"Two: create Intel sources so as to be forewarned." Miles said. "Three?"
"Find out what to do with Japan." I said. "I'm pretty sure we did something about them, considering."
"Hmm." Miles said. "That's possible. Do we know anything?"
"No, and that's frustrating." I said. "You don't just… convince a country to back out of a war."
"Who said that?" Anne challenged. "You could just do precisely that. You could go to them, and stop them. We can show force if we have to."
"She's not wrong." I said, looking at Miles. "We can try to convince them, or at the very least, stop Pearl Harbor, and if they don't back down, we got three enhanced marksmen."
"Three?" Anne asked.
"My aim is better than the aim of one of the greatest marksmen in my time." I said. "Miles should be the same."
"Either way." Miles said, "We can keep that as an option, to straight up barge in uninvited. So objective three is to stop or curb Japan. What's four?"
"Four: make sure The United States does not involve itself in the war against Japan." I said.
"You sure?" Anne asked.
"I am." I said. "In my history books, it said they never went on the Japanese front, as it never posed a threat. But I'm willing to say that we probably forced them not to attack."
"Agreed." Miles said. "Five?"
"Anne, do you know of any enhanceds, vigilantes, superheroes, anti-heroes, anything?" I asked.
"Only heard of two." She said, "One's in Chicago. The Black Stinger, he's a vigilante."
"And the other?" I asked.
"I've only heard about this guy, haven't seen him." Anne said, "He's called the White Tiger."
Me and Miles looked at each other.
"Do you guys know him?" Anne asked.
"More like we know of him…" Miles said hesitantly.
"We know either his daughter or granddaughter." I said.
"So there are two of them?" Anne asked.
"Three." I said. "The daughter or granddaughter, whichever it is, is also a White Tiger."
"Ok." Anne said.
"Why do you need to know this?" Miles asked.
"Kid, we're about to face a fucking monster." I said. "I want all the help we can get, even though they won't be directly charging. They'll all be there from afar, and serve as a help. The annoying part is that we can't just go to the Web, because of Morlun. I can't sense either of my brothers, so I suppose that they've been thrown somewhere else in the space-time continuum, and possibly somewhere in the multiverse."
"So you need something, anything to give you a bigger guarantee for you to come out alive." Miles deduced.
"Exactly." I said. "While I could totally just go back to the future," Miles rolled his eyes at that, "I can't, not really. I'll have to come back here. We're both in a corner here, Gobby and us. But the difference is that we were prepared for this to an extent, whereas Gobby was taken by surprise. But the problem is that he still possibly has control over the Web Of Death, so I've installed protections to block us substantially from his eyes."
"Ok." Miles said "What about Wakanda?"
"That's a major point." I said. "We'll have to talk to T'Challa's grandfather."
"T'Chanda, right?" Miles commented.
"Yeah." I said absent-mindedly as I made snow angels on the blanket.
"This food is good." Anne commented as she munched on the popcorn. "What's this called again, Mr. Oldie?"
"It's called popcorn." I said. "In those days, it'll be considered one of the kids' most favorite foods."
"Yeah yeah, whatever." Anne said as she continued to munch on the popcorn.
"Chicago tomorrow?" I said.
"How are we going to go there?" Anne asked. "Bus?"
"No, we'll have a little more fun." I said mischievously.
"Ok?" Anne said.
"Ignore him." Miles said. "He will probably use the repulsors or portals."
"What are repulsors?"
The next morning, I was floating in a lotus position, and meditating shirtless.
I heard Miles and Anne both wake up and go about their morning activities, then I heard them make breakfast, and I opened my eyes when the breakfast was ready, and sat down on the floor.
"So nice of you to join us!" Anne said, ruffling my hair for no reason.
We ate breakfast while making small talk.
Then we all got up to wash the dishes, and that was when Miles messed up slightly.
"Wait, you're like 50 right?" Miles asked.
"Yeah." Anne said.
"So don't you, like, have grandkids or something?" Miles asked.
I groaned, and facepalmed. "Kid, the world isn't as accepting of enhanced humans as they are in our day, and even in our day, they look at us with disgust."
"Oh, shit." Miles said. He looked at Anne with a sincerely apologetic expression. "I'm sorry, Anne."
Anne blinked away her tears, then with a hoarse voice, she said "It's ok. I've accepted it by now. Besides, if I did find someone who cared about me enough to not give a fuck about his social status going down if he married a freak, then the kids would still have a tough time. And it's not like I'm this super beautiful girl, I'm fifty fucking years old."
"Hey, you're plenty beautiful." I said reassuringly, placing a hand on her shoulder. "And like I told those assholes in the alley yesterday, we can do things that they can't. It's the brightness of my soul to see my daughter when she crawls along the wall, or when she kicks ass."
"You have a daughter?" Anne asked.
"Yes." I said, smiling. "A daughter, and a son, and two daughters and one son on the way."
"How can anyone hold three babies, especially if said babies have superpowers?" Anne asked.
"Oh, they're not all from one woman." Miles said, snorting.
Anne looked between me and Miles for a second, processing his words, then she just shrugged. "Not surprised." She said, "You've got a crazy body, and you are the nice type of guy."
Miles snorted even more, and he was about to say something, when I gave him a level 100 glare, and he shut his mouth.
"Anyways." I said, taking my watch off, and handing it to Anne. "That's for you. Tell the watch to put your suit on."
"How do I do that?" She asked as she tied the watch onto her wrist. "What even is this? Some advanced type of pocket watch? It doesn't even look like one. But it does have the right time, I'll give it that."
Me and Miles looked at each other in loss. "Something like that." We supplied.
"So what do I do?" Anne asked, looking at the watch with intrigue. "I just say, put my suit on?"
Instantly, she was covered with nanobots, and they formed a black suit, with a sniper rifle on the back along with a quiver of arrows, and there were rounds of bullets on her torso, and she had a hood and a domino mask, and there was a utility belt, and she had pistols strapped to her thigh, as well as a minigun with bullets on her wrists, which were a loose rendering of the whistling birds Mandalorians had.
"Whoa!" She said, amazed. "I love this! Is this even real! How is this even something real! Like I thought we'd like, have flying cars in the future, but I'd never think they'd have this! Whatever this is!"
Then, she toppled to the ground, and I caught her before she hit the ground.
"I think she fainted." I said.
"No shit Sherlock." Miles said, smirking. "Cute gift by the way."
"She needed a suit." I said, and took advantage of the fact that we were alone. "We're going to have to leave at the end anyways, don't try to make this harder on all of us, and make us any closer."
Miles didn't respond to that, and I gently laid Anne on the bed, then I sat on her rocking chair (like seriously, if I needed any confirmation that I was in the past, this rocking chair would pass as the confirmation.)
After a while, Anne woke up, and I shooed her out of her own bedroom, then I got dressed into my own suit, and came out of the room.
They both looked at me for a moment, then Miles saluted me. "Nice time to go Noir." He said.
"That suit looks more like something that someone from our time would wear." Anne commented, giving me a look over. If she spent a second longer on my abs, none of us noticed it.
"That's because someone from your time did wear it." I said, and she looked at me confusedly. "Well, in a different universe, but the point still stands. In that universe, Spider-Man was a hero from the 1940s, not from later on."
"There are other universes?" Anne asked excitedly. "Are there aliens too?"
I opened a portal to a Chicago alley as I chuckled. "Yeah, there are."
"Wow." She said as she went through the portal. "I hope I can live to your time, then I get to see all this cool stuff, but it will be everywhere."
"So seeing us won't be a plus?" Miles asked as the portal closed behind him.
"That would be the biggest plus." She said, "And Kid, your suit needs to be nice enough for the past."
"Just because my superhero name is 'Arachnid Kid' doesn't mean you all can just call me Kid." He mumbled as he edited his suit, making it all black with a hoodie, except for a small red spider the size of his palm on his chest.
"Kid, we can call you whatever the fuck we want." Both me and Anne said at the same time, and high fived as Miles grumbled at us.
I pulled my web pistols out of their holsters, and spinned them with a flourish. "Well, according to my research, Stinger was usually seen stopping any robberies, or whenever a gang tried to hijack a train or bus. The September 1st, 1939 Daily Globe issue stated something about Stinger and some new crooks destroying a train going towards the Great Lakes."
"How'd you get this research?" Miles asked.
"My suit had the database of all the past newspapers of all the major cities downloaded." I said.
"Of course you did." Miles said.
"And who are these new crooks?" Anne asked.
I smirked. "Well, one of them did have a very flashy hat and a flowing coat, and the other had a hood and very dangerous aim with their guns and arrows, and the last had some wannabe hipster jacket on, so I think that matches our descriptions loosely, wouldn't you say Anne?"
"I was doubting it, until you mentioned the supposedly hipster jacket." Anne said, and looked at Miles. "Whaddaya say, Kid? That's us or nah?"
"I don't see any flashy hats." Miles said.
"Yeah, I don't either." I said, taking my hat off and brushing imaginary dust off of it. "This is a classic hat, not a flashy hat. And Anne has impeccable aim, not dangerous aim. But you are looking like a wannabe hipster, so I'm forgiving their mistakes in describing us."
"Let's just go." Miles grumbled, walking past us.
Me and Anne looked at each other, and gave a hearty laugh at his expense.
"I didn't come to the past just to be a third wheel!" Miles said, sticking his head back in the alley.
"You're not the third wheel, Kid." I said, following him as we jumped across the rooftops. "You're the back fender of the car. Get it? 'Cuz you're the butt of the jokes."
"You're a sorry jokester." Miles said. "You had to explain your joke."
"I'm sorry, and what jokes did you say that gives you the right to judge?" Anne asked.
"The one about how he's the cooler Spider-Man." I said.
"Oh, better get some alcohol to drink that out." Anne said, and we both looked at her strangely. "What?"
"We usually say, he needs ice for that burn, or something like that." I explained.
"Well then let us have a union of cultures." Anne said. "He needs alcohol for the burn."
"That works." I said. "The train station is up ahead."
We all slowed down, and fell into a nearby alley, and Miles went invisible, and I faintly saw him go into the train.
"Psst!" Anne whispered. "How did he disappear?"
"One of his powers." I whispered back. "I can do it too, just a little more complicated."
Anne nodded, then gestured at a nearby rooftop, where a black suit looking vaguely like the Beetle without all the tech was standing.
He had his 'stingers' out, one on each of his wrists, and he had a sniper rifle with him as well.
"That's the Black Stinger, but you already knew that." Anne whispered, and I rolled my eyes. "I know you're rolling your eyes." I looked at her, surprised. "I can just tell that's what you'd do." I nodded, then turned back to focus on Stinger.
The train started moving, and Stinger rolled onto the train roof, and I grabbed Anne, and stealthily took the two of us to the middle of two of the cabbies, where we sat.
Sure enough, just as the train was about to leave the city, a small explosion came from the front of the train. Anne and I nodded at each other, and I threw her a web pistol, then jumped onto the top of the train with Anne following, and we ran ahead, my trench coat flowing behind me.
We got to the point where several masked robbers were attempting to take some money, and they were shooting at Stinger so as to corner him, and Miles was nowhere to be seen- oh wait he just zapped one of the robbers.
I jumped down, and started shooting web bullets at the robbers, which stuck them to the walls, and from above, Anne was shooting at them, giving them flesh wounds. I agreed with her methods, they may have only been train robbers, but a little pain goes a long way in teaching a lesson.
Within moments, they were all dealt with, and I looked at Stinger. "I need to talk to you." I said, holstering my pistols and raising my hands in a way to show that I meant no harm.
"Just because your hands are raised does not mean you are any less dangerous." He said, and I rolled my eyes behind my mask. I could see Anne smirk at my expression, and I winked at her, wanting to see if she'd pick that up.
Much to my surprise, she did, and she winked back at me.
Focus, Parker!
Oh right, I was talking to Stinger.
"Yeah, just an expression." I said. "I promise I won't harm you till we have both said our parts, only should you prove untrustworthy."
"Follow me." Stinger said, jumping out of the train, and using high speed fans on his bulky shoes to land softly.
I rolled my eyes. It may have been advanced for his era, but I'd definitely upgrade that to something a little more functional.
We followed Stinger to a rooftop, and he crossed his arms, and looked at us. "So what did you require from me?" He asked.
"We need your help." I said. "Me and the wannabe hipster are from the future. We were brought here by an enemy. I want to ally myself with other vigilantes, enhanced humans, anti-heroes, superheroes, and the like so as to have a way to know the position of my enemy."
"Prove it to me that you're from the future." Stinger said.
"It's currently August 31st, 1939." I said. "Day after tomorrow, Germany will go to war. That will signify the beginning of World War 2. My grandmother is Peggy Carter. Tomorrow, The Daily Globe will mention Stinger and three fellow crooks hijacking a train. One of them will be said to have a flashy hat and a flowing coat, the other had a hood and very dangerous aim with their guns and arrows, and the last looked like a wannabe hipster.
"That's how I would describe you, so your story fits." Stinger said.
"Excuse me?" I asked, confused.
"Follow me." He said
Stinger jumped off the rooftop, and got into a car, which we all got into.
As soon as we got in, he took his mask off, and looked at us. "Patrick Osnick, editor of The Daily Globe, at your service."
We were all shocked for different reasons.
"Osnick!?" I exclaimed, just as Miles and Anne both exclaimed "editor of The Daily Globe!"
"You heard me." He said, revving the engine, and going fast for a car from the past, a mere sixty miles per hour. "Something wrong with my last name?"
"I just know of the name." I said.
"Seemed a little more than that." Patrick said.
"Someone with that last name takes up vigilante work in this city." I said.
"Ok." Patrick said. "That fits."
We drove out of the city, to a garage. We got out of the car, and I looked at his base. "What's this place called? The Hive?"
"Right on one." Patrick said, slowly taking his clunky armor off.
"Nice." I said, observing my surroundings.
I stopped at an old Charger that was just sitting on the side. "Patrick, what's the old Charger doing here?"
"That came out last year." He said, giving me a look.
"Oh, my bad." I said, looking away and whistling, as if that never happened.
"What's your car called?" Miles asked, observing the vigilante's black car.
"Doesn't have a name." Patrick said as the suit was finally off. He walked up to a false wall, and picked it up, revealing a tunnel.
He looked at us as he got into the Charger. "Let's go."
We went through the dark tunnel, and found ourselves in the garage of a mansion.
I looked around, appraising the house. "You get this from your editing job? Cool."
"Make yourselves at home." He said, sighing. "Marie!" He called out. "We've got guests!"
Moments later, a brunette came to the garage, and raised an eyebrow at us. "Didn't know there were other people doing these things."
"Me and wannabe hipster are from the future." I said, wrapping my arm around Miles. "Armed lady here is an enhanced human."
"Ok…" the woman said, clearly skeptical. "And why exactly are you here?"
"Well, we only wanted some help, and to get some information from Patrick." I said. "But now that Patrick is the editor of a major newspaper…?"
"Perhaps I could produce some anti war propaganda?" He asked.
"Not necessarily." I said. "One, we need to calm public opinion on enhanceds. Two, we need to make sure they don't go to war with Japan, and vice versa."
"If I might say, the opinion of enhanceds will calm down when the whole Captain America thing happens." Miles said.
"That's true." I said. "Oh, and before we leave, I'm fixing up all of your stuff, Stinger." I gave him a look. "Those fans aren't safe at all, and your suit is super clunky for no reason, and the way your Hive is connected to the house isn't very safe."
"I said the very same things." Marie said.
"Well then I'll get to work." I said, heading back towards the Hive. "Miles, Anne, you can come if you want."
They both followed me, unsurprisingly.
Chapter 48: The Warmth Of A Cold Touch
"Pass me the screwdriver please?" I said, stretching a spider leg out from under Stinger's car.
"Which one?" Miles asked.
"The large Philips."
"Here ya go." He placed the screwdriver on my leg, and my leg went back under the car.
We were in the Hive, and wasting our time by fixing the car up. It was about three in the morning, and we both were clearly avoiding sleep, and the difficult topics.
"That's it." I said, rolling out from under the car. "We can't just avoid all this, Kid."
"What are we avoiding?" Miles said, still trying to avoid this conversation.
I gave him a look. "Miles. You're still a kid, to be real. When I'm done here, it'll be a long five years, not counting any possible time travels that will happen in between. It'd be longer time spent here, than what was spent since the Peterswitch, not including time travel."
Miles processed the hidden meaning of my words. "So you're sending me back?"
"There is nothing I want more than some bonding between us brothers right now." I said, then I paused to think for a moment. "Well actually, I really want to go back and see my kids, but you know what I mean. But, you have parents. I can't deny them their time with you."
"Peter." Miles said. "If you think I'm about to let you stay here alone, without anyone, you're sorely mistaken."
"I'm not going to turn you into a killer as well." I said. "This time will take a toll on me, for sure. What will it do to you?"
"I'm already a killer." He said. "When I saw the other universes, I saw myself kill so many times. I think it was a good amount of me that did kill. You know my origin story. I saw Peter Parker die, at the hands of the man he adamantly refused to kill." Miles walked up to my chin, and I could see the firm resolve set in his eyes, deeper than the core of the largest sun in my systems, and brighter than them as well. I'm not even exaggerating, he was not going to budge on this. "Now that man is here with us. Far be it from me to deny myself the chance to do what I did several times. I can't let this go."
"I'm asking you to do this for your parents." I said, trying to convince him one last time.
Just like that, all the fight left him. He looked regretful, and looked down. "I want to go back to them too. They're… They're expecting. I know it's a girl, and I won't tell them. But I want to go back too. But I can't do that. You're already begging for help. I can't just drop this all on you. I… I would love to go back. But I don't think I can do that."
"Miles." I said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You don't have to stay. I got this, ok? It's just one guy. And I can always get help from some random space junkie if need be. There's a bunch of those dudes I can ask for help from. I'm not the typical Peter Parker, neither are you the typical Miles Morales. You deserve to go back home. Your parents are waiting for you. Your baby sister is waiting for you. Your best friend is waiting for you. I won't do this to you. This isn't your place. Your place is back in the future. Gobby, he's my villain, not yours. You still have a full life to live, go and live it."
"Everything you said counts for you as well, and more." He said. "You have Tess, you have Ned, Tony, T'Challa, Namor, and Johnny. You have kids waiting for you. Your lovers are waiting for you. And your life is waiting for you."
"I lived more than enough lives, Kid." I said. "If Peter Parker is destined to die in the past, then so be it."
Miles slapped my cheek. "What the fuck, bro?" He hissed at me. "Do you not get this shit? In every universe I lived a life in, you died at that motherfucker's hands while I watched! I could have stopped that shit! But I slacked, and I won't slack this time! I can't!"
His eyes had tears gathering in the corners, and I sighed. "It's written in stone, Miles. Better that you don't see it happen."
"What about Tarts?" Miles asked. "What about Sexi? What about Melina? You still have to go down and bring Garth! You'll live, and I'll help you."
"...Fine." I said. "But first sign of more trouble than expected, and I'll whisk you away before you realize. Be ready for that, and now, let's practice. You're not going into battle underprepared."
I took off my shirt, and sat in a lotus position, and Miles copied me, sitting across from me. "Meditation?" He asked. "What for?"
"Did you reconcile with your Other?" I asked.
"What?" He asked, quivering an eyebrow. "My Other? I thought that Kaine was The Other. Does this mean that we each have an Other?"
I focused on my power from the Web, and my spider tattoo started glowing golden. "The Other is merely a piece of us. Of all of us. The Other alone, is a fractured soul inside of us created by our presence in the Web, that seeks to make itself whole by conquering the body and mind. It has instinctual habits, and will act more like a spider than a human. But The Other can also merge itself with the original soul, if it deems it worthy. That is what had occurred with Kaine, and what had occurred with me."
"You?"
"My stingers that resemble Kaine's, my tattoo, a fraction of my power, come from our combination. I trust you remember that I killed Killmonger 2.0?"
"Yeah, you killed him before Killmonger 1.0."
"His lineage made him the bigger threat." I said. "My actions brought me closer in kinship to my Other side, as well as the Web, strengthening the two of us. But that brought us in more of a position to fight us. My original side entered my mindscape, and we combined."
"So, you want me to do that now?"
"That would be preferable." I said.
Miles nodded, then he closed his eyes and started meditating. Once his breathing evened out, I nodded appreciatively and went into meditation myself.
Discreetly, I worked on strengthening my connection to the Web.
I basked in its golden energy, and felt it replenish me, and strengthen me. I concentrated on the threads themselves, searching for a path to the other side of The Web. After a while, I felt a dark tingle, and I shivered at the feeling, then retreated, blocking the weakness I found.
When I pulled out of the thread, and focused on The Web, I saw The Web positively reaching at Miles, and pouring its energy into him, along with some other energy, and I pulled out of my meditation, knowing that Miles would wake up in a moment.
I came back to myself, and felt how my spider sense had improved, and also felt a finger poking my tattoo/brand, trying to figure it out.
I opened my eyes, and saw Anne poking at me, and I smirked.
"How's my tattoo?" I asked.
She jumped back, and put her hand on her chest, and glared at me. "Don't do that, jackass!"
"I can't ask you questions?" I asked. "Oh shit, I shouldn't be asking questions."
"Bastard." She muttered. "Why was your thing glowing? Actually, why was your body glowing? And why was it changing colors?"
"What?" I asked. "It changed colors? That's not supposed to happen."
"About twenty minutes ago." She said. "Your spider thing turned silver, and your whole body was glowing like the color of gold. Your spider thing felt cold, and it looked like it was trying to turn everything silver."
"Hmm, so the Other side has some energy from the Other side of The Web." I said, thinking. "That'd explain the energy I saw pouring into Miles."
"What?" She asked.
"It's some crazy magic that will take a long time to explain." I said.
Miles opened his eyes, and smirked. "Well, that was interesting."
"How you feeling Kid?" I asked, standing up and giving him a hand.
He used my hand to lift himself up. "Sharp." He said, unsheathing his stingers.
"Perfect." I said. "But I found something out."
"I'm listening." He said.
"The Other has to do with The Other side of The Web. So I'd suppose that the same has to do with the better Goblins, such as all the Goblins that were like, good and shit."
"So why didn't they get stronger then?" He asked.
"I don't know." I said. "But I intend to find out."
"Hmm." Miles said, putting his shirt back on. "Kinda seems paradoxical, or is it just me?"
"We can learn how to use this to defeat him, but we can't properly learn it unless we defeat him." I said. "It's not just you."
"Well, fuck." Miles said.
"Yeah." I said, then I turned to Anne. "How are you doing, Anne?"
"Confused." She said frankly. "But I'll just have to trust you, I guess."
"Do you want to know?" I asked. "If you do, I will tell you."
"No." She said after thinking. "If I'm to guess anything, this is bigger than you. Both of you seem like extremely selfless people, and as such, if it was just about you, you wouldn't mind just saying it. I know this has to do with the war coming our way, and I know that both of you guys are scared. For that to happen, I'd suppose it'd have to be something very big. You guys are extremely strong, and I trust that you won't tell us if it doesn't involve us, and that you would tell us if it did."
"Thanks, Anne." Miles said gratefully. "But if you want to know anything, just say it, and we'll tell you, most probably." I nodded in agreement.
"Well, since you guys gave me the option, what's that sword hilt just doing there on your belt?" Anne asked.
"It's a full fledged sword." I said, pulling it out. "Magical sheath."
"Woah." She said, enraptured by the blade. "What's its name?"
"Well, it used to be called the Ebony Blade." I said. "But when I became King, magic flowed into it and morphed it into the way it looks now, with more power. So while I could just call it the Spider Blade, that's very stupid."
"It's more than just stupid, but yeah." She said. "The blade has something to do with the Web, judging from its design, right?"
"Yeah…?" I asked, curious as to what she was thinking.
"And it is like, very sharp, right?" She asked.
"You can test it." I said with a smirk.
"I'm fine, thank you very much." She said. "Forget it, I don't have a name for it, sorry."
"No problem." I said, sheathing it.
"Now, to another topic." She said, and gestured to the current state of the Hive. "How did you guys make this place look so cool?"
"Ahh, well, you see, it's a very long story, about how smart I am, and about how cool I am, and I gathered the supplies, and -"
"Cut the bull." Anne said.
"We pulled some tech from one of Peter's planets." Miles said.
"You have a planet?" She asked. "Wait, you have planets?"
"I did like, live for a long time, right?" I asked. "Is it that surprising considering all that?"
Anne looked at us in exasperation, then she sighed very loudly. "Just get your asses back to the house, food should be ready by now."
Miles ran off immediately, and Anne turned around, and was about to go to the door I made for a sideways elevator towards the house, -is it called an elevator? Cuz like, elevators literally elevate. But these sideways elevators don't really do that. Anyways, going back to where I was, Anne was about to enter the transporter, when I put my hand on her shoulder, and she turned to look at me.
"Do you need something?" She asked, looking at me.
"No, I just wanted to tell you that I trust you, and I wouldn't mind telling you anything." I said. "If you want me to teach you magic, I can teach you some without the other sorcerers at this time knowing."
"That's sweet." She said, and gave me a quick hug. She parted, then looked me in the eye. "I want to be able to visit you guys after you leave, can you teach me that? Because we might not know each other that well, but you're the first people who have talked to me cordially in ten years."
"They're fucking assholes for being so unaccepting of you." I said, feeling anger at that. "And while time travel is a concept very few have learnt, I can try to find a way to teach you, or I can at least set up a time portal for you."
"You're not scared of the repercussions?" She asked.
"If it does have repercussions, I can always just pick you up." I said.
"Ok." She said. "Thanks, I think I've been losing my sanity out here. Because like, not talking to people does that. Kinda explains why I was so accepting of time travellers."
"You seem perfectly sane to me." I said, then I smirked. "But then again, the oldest guy in the universe isn't the right guy to judge sanity."
"Stop smooching, and come eat." Patrick's voice came out of nowhere, startling us. "This thing is cool. What were you sayingaboutthis thing, Miles?"
Miles' voice was heard in the background, then he stopped talking.
"It's the love child of a megaphone and a telephone." Patrick said thoughtfully. "Whatever. Lovebirds, it's breakfast time."
I rolled my eyes at Patrick, and pointed my middle finger at the speaker. "Go fuck yourself, Patrick!" I said, then I turned to Anne. "Let's go, before they call us again, and act like obnoxious children."
"I heard that!" Patrick said.
"I know!" I said, as we got into the not-an-elevator.
Several minutes later, we were sitting at the table, and eating pancakes. I ate mindlessly, just eating, but not really paying attention to my food.
"Are you all right, Peter?" Patrick asked.
I snapped out of my reverie. "Yeah, I am. How about you, how was the morning?"
Patrick raised an eyebrow at me, but didn't voice his concerns. "My morning was good."
"You don't look like a man who is all right." Marie said.
"It's just… nevermind." I said, waving a leg in dismissal. "I have a job to finish, is all that bothers me."
"Seems a little more than that." Miles said, and I mentally sent him a picture of me scowling at him as I maintained indifference on the outside.
"I agree." Anne said. "What's the matter, Itsy Bitsy? Just coming to realize that you are staying here for longer than you'd prefer?"
She hit the point, but I did not make any motion to suggest that she was right. "... No." I said. "It's just not fun to have to fight two nemeses in one."
"That didn't stop you before." Miles said, ignoring my mental pleas for him to close his trap. "What is it?"
"Miles, I am not staying here permanently." I said. "I will not take action that jeopardizes that sentiment."
"You can't do this, man." Miles said, leaning back in his chair. "We're going to be here for five years. If you were spending this time at home, you'd see more than three of your children come out of their mothers' wombs and grow up. Wake up, and realize that if you go on like this, you'll kill yourself before you kill Goblin."
"Miles, it's not that." I said. "Just… drop it."
"Stop lying." Anne said suddenly, with a noticeable amount of heat in her voice. "You may be fooling everyone else, but my powers are literally catching your lies like a target catches bullets. You can go back to your family, and take round-trips."
"No, he can't." Miles said. "Gobby nearly killed one of his loved ones. He knows that should he go back, he will return back to the past with family. And that's not something he wants to risk. Yet at the same time, he is risking us, and therein lies the major problem. He wants to separate himself from us so as to feel less guilty. Did I hit the bullseye, Peter?"
"Yes." I said, hanging my head guiltily. "All I can see is the amount of times Gwen's neck snaps. But I feel too much like Batman now. I can't do this. I'll have to fight him alone."
"And what do you seek to achieve?" Miles asked. "It took you, me, and your brothers hard work, and we still didn't properly beat him. We just accidentally stalled. What's the point of martyrdom?"
"Listen, Peter." Marie said. "You didn't truly think that, I can see that. You just thought of sacrificing everyone, and then you thought that was your objective here. But you need to think."
"I think that this is all pointless. Me and my brothers were some of the most powerful humans, and my other brother has been forced into inaction. We are just a merry group of well wishers. I have no hope of winning, not really. And yet, I will try my best. Because this is how it was always meant to be. Yet it doesn't mean that any others should fall down with me."
"Melina, Magda, and Hector need you, broski." Miles said. "You can't just drop things like that. If you're setting yourself up for failure, you're not giving it your all. We have a fight to fight, not a simulation to lose."
"I don't know, Kid." I said. "I will try my best, but I'm not sure."
"That's all we need." Miles said. "Now, how about we do some practice, or something?"
"Go meditate." I said, with a smirk. "But seriously, meditation is a miracle. Counts as sleep, and if you focus on the Web, you can strengthen your spider sense. I know the best paths to take for the next three days, that's how connected I am."
"Damn." Anne said. "So this conversation, it was all calculated."
"Not really." I said. "It's not really clairvoyance on my part. It's more like I think of doing something, and the ring in my head pings me as to the likelihood and danger of the path. And with the speed that my brain runs at, Iam able to run my most preferred paths within milliseconds, and if none of these seem to produce preferable results, then I move onto paths that I do not prefer. So it's not necessarily me calculating, but it is more of me thinking about possible consequences."
There was a moment of silence.
"Yeah, I'm going to go meditate." Miles said, standing up and heading towards the guest quarters of the mansion. "Stay scared of our powers, children!"
"Let's go give Patrick a look at the Hive." I said after Miles disappeared.
"Yeah." Anne said.
"I want to see his reaction." Marie said, standing up.
"Group excursion then." I said.
Several moments later, we were going through the not-an-elevator, and Patrick was in awe of the technology.
"Wow." He said. "What did you say this was again?"
"It doesn't really have a name." I said. "Cuz it's super unique."
The not-an-elevator opened, and we exited into the Hive.
"Well, whaddaya say?" I asked.
I received no response.
I looked at Patrick, and found him nearly fainting, and looking at everything with awe. He walked up to his new suit, and touched it reverently. "How much does all this cost again?" He asked in a whisper, clearly in awe of everything.
"Pro Bono." I said, and he looked at me confusedly. "Nevermind. It's at no cost."
"Well, damn." He finally summarized, and sat on a chair. "Thanks."
Then he promptly passed out.
"Not anticlimactic at all, buddy." I said. "Not anticlimactic at all."
"This is really nice of you." Marie said. "But I know your type. The type of good cop, that is the sheriff of the town. Or the captain of the ship. You have a reason for doing this, no matter how noble the reason is."
I sighed. "While I'd like to say that all this is just out of the bottom of the heart, it isn't. I am doing all this, to see if your descendant is able to reverse engineer this tech. It's all more of a test for him, then it is for anything else."
Marie looked angry at that, and brought her finger to my face, nearly poking me in the eye. "My kid better not be drawn into this cluster fuck that is your life. You can help him and shit, but I don't want him anywhere near you. That clear? Not that I hate you, but you're clearly cursed by something. I don't want to see you destroy my kids. You're a good guy, that has been plagued. I want a promise from you. You won't bring him into your life."
"Marie, I never wanted to bring him in." I said, lowering her finger from where it was about to poke my eyes. "He is a smart kid, and I respect him. He'll be kept as far away as possible from my operations, you have my word."
"That's all I ask." She said, and then she took a seat. "Now, how about you tell me a little about him?"
"Sure, let me just put Patrick in the car first." I said, lifting him, and placing him in the driver seat of his vigilante persona's car. "Now, we can talk about Ollie."
I took a seat across from Marie, and Anne sat down in between us, and took out her bow, and started polishing it.
"So, Ollie is a smart kid." I said. "In some universes, he is simply enamored by me, and makes a suit of his own, that he calls the Steel Spider. He is the vigilante of Chicago. In other universes, he lives in New York, and is originally enamored by a rival of mine, Dr. Octavius. He creates a suit similar to the Dr. Octopus, and goes out, then the Peter Parker of that universe convinces him to at least change sides, if not stop. He changes sides, then later on, drops it all, and becomes a civilian."
"So, he doesn't just inherit our stupidity, nice to know." Marie said, and I winced ever so slightly.
"What's the story of why he dropped it all?" Anne asked.
"Ahh, he nearly lost his arm." I said, afraid of the wrath that Marie would enact upon me.
Sure enough, she was angry. "WHAT!?" She exclaimed.
"He nearly lost his arm." I said. "I don't know the story, that's all I know."
"I take all I said back." Marie said. "You, good sir, are going to take in my kid, and teach him, and keep him safe, and for every scratch he gets, you will get a large whooping. Is that understood?"
"Only if it's needed?" I asked. "Like you said, my life is a cluster fuck. I will not bring him into that."
"...If he stays in Chicago, then you become some sort of overseer to his life." Marie said. "Don't involve yourself more than required. If he lives in New York, you make him some sort of protégé that you guide and train. Just don't give him your identity unless he figures it out."
"Can my company hire him?" I asked. "After all, he is smart, and I wouldn't mind having him on my roster."
"...You can." She said, hesitating. "Just don't bring him to your closest council unless he brings himself there."
Phew. That went better than I expected.
"Now that you guys are done carving the future, how about we go and wake up Patrick?" Anne said.
"How'd we just forget about that?" I asked no one specifically.
"Possibly because you were worried about a kid losing his arm." Anne said drily, as she holstered her bow onto her back.
"Oh, yeah." I said, scratching the back of my neck with my arm. "Right. Yeah. Anyways, when is Patrick going to wake up?"
"I don't know, aren't you the magician dude here?" Anne asked.
"Sorcerer, Anne." I said. "Don't compare me to such charlatans. They have no grasp of the Mystic Arts."
"...Are you seriously taking offense to being called a magician?" Anne asked incredulously.
"Any Master of the Mystic Arts would take offense." I said. "But nah, not really. I'm just saying that I'm not a magician."
Anne looked at me for a minute. "You're taking offense."
"Am not!" I shot back.
"Are too!" Anne said.
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Whatever you say, magician." She said, and my nostrils did NOT flare at that insult. "Do some voodoo, and tell us when Patrick will wake up."
"He'll wake up in a minute." I said in a very normal tone, and not in a grumbling tone.
"Oh, is our magician grumbling?" Anne asked, hugging me from behind. "It's ok, just go meditate, and let all that anger out."
There was a moment of utter silence, where I tried to comprehend how much pain I was going through; she was teasing me about my magic, and calling me a magician, and totally pressing her breasts against my back, and I was hyperaware of them due to my senses' advancements, and I missed my family, and I wanted to go back to them, and I was stressed, and I was depressed, and I wanted to die, but I couldn't, and-
I just slumped my shoulders in defeat, and I sighed, my lungs deflating, leaving only my emotions in my body.
"Peter, are you ok?" Anne asked, sensing my change in mood, and getting off my back.
"No woman, he's totally fine, what told you otherwise?" Marie sassed. "The shoulders going down down down, or the way he sighed, or his attitude, or his legs, or what?"
"Peter." Anne said, looking me in the eyes, only to see that they were glassed over. I had retreated into my mindscape, so as to be able to see myself have fun with my family once more.
I walked through my mindscape, until I found my house, a placeholder for all of my family related memories.
Each room had a notebook sitting somewhere that had my memories properly organized, so that I could choose a specific memory, and I would relive it. Ignoring everything, I headed to Sexi's room, and thumbed through the notebook, tears rolling down my cheeks as I sped through the memories.
After several seconds, I set the notebook back on Sexi's nightstand, and sat down on her bed.
"Karen Sexi Parker, I know you can't hear this, but I still have to say this." I said softly, hugging one of her pillows and inhaling the scent that I attached to Sexi; metallic from the nanobots that always surrounded her, and a chocolate smell from how much she ate those. "Dad's going to fight for you, ok? And I'm sorry if Miles comes back home without me. I'm no fool, I know my Dad might do something after I die so that the whole two worlds joining together things and whatever happens after it still happens, but still. Just know this, ok? Your Dad loves you, and he misses you. He wants so badly to just say fuck the war, and just hug you forever. Dad will be back before you know it. And there isn't going to be a second that I don't think about you. Take care of your baby brother, ok?"
Knowing I'd get no response, I sighed and stood up, then I went to Tarts' room, and lay down on the bed, inhaling Tarts' scent; almost like blood, but more metallic, and the natural perfume his damn Pegasus made.
"Hey Tarts." I began. "I really really miss you. And I mean, I know that you're out there somewhere, but I can't talk to him. Time travel is really annoying. How have you been? I… I don't know if I'm going to come back. But even if I don't, I still miss you, and I still want to hug you, and ruffle your hair, and watch Sexi pinch your cheeks, and call you Cherry Face, and I want to see your mom kiss your forehead, and take care of Jackass, and tease you, and tease me too. I want to sit on a couch, and have you cuddled up in between me and Death. I want to call your mom Reaper, I want to kiss her and to see you look at us in faux disgust, and reprimand us about PDA. I want to ride Jackass with you, and I want to swim with you in that lake that you love. I want to hug you again, Tarts. I'm sorry, and I'll always love you, no matter what." I paused for a second. "That's all, I guess. I want to say a lot more, but that's that's gist. Take care of your little sister, and Jackass."
"Hey Dad."
I turned around so fast, my neck actually snapped. "Tarts?"
"I'm right here, Dad." He said, opening his arms for a hug.
I quickly brought him into my chest, peppering his hair with kisses, and sobbing with relief. "It's really you, Tarts." I kept on repeating, the relief in my voice evident.
"I missed you." He said, his voice muffled by my chest.
"Oh, my sweet, smart, awesome, boy." I said, holding him at shoulder width and looking him in the eye. "You thought I was from before I had you."
He nodded, his eyes threatening to leak with tears. "I thought I'd have to watch you not remember me, Dad. Ever since you left, I missed you. And I missed you. I- I wanted to hug you, and cuddle with you and Mom, so badly. I- I missed you, Dad."
I pulled him into my chest again, and he sobbed into my chest, and I rubbed his back reassuringly. "I'm right here, Tarts. You've got me, right here. I'll take care of Jackass, and comb his mane, and feed him, and then we can go on a ride, and we can do whatever you want. You, me, and your mom can have all the fun you want."
"I love you, Dad." He said, tightening his grasp on me with his hands and spider legs.
"Love you too, Tarts." I said, tightening back, not willing to let him go anytime soon.
A while later, we both parted, and I looked at him happily. "While I wouldn't mind staying here for longer, other people on the other side are probably worrying about me. How about you bring your mom?"
"Of course, Dad." He said, giving me a quick hug, then vanishing.
I exited my mindscape, and opened my actual eyes, to find myself in a chair, with everyone looking at me worriedly, sans Miles, who was sitting on a rocking chair in the corner of the room, and just looking at me.
"Peter, where did you go?" Anne asked.
"Somewhere to relish the future." I said, standing up. "How long has it been?"
"Three hours." Miles said. "You were in your mindscape for three hours, Pete. How was the stroll down memory lane?"
"Really good." I said.
"Wait, so you literally took a stroll down memory lane." Anne said.
"Yeah." I said.
"Who'd you think about?" Miles asked.
"My kids." I said.
"With your brain capabilities, I'd expect you to have done more than that." Miles said, scrunching his eyebrows in confusion.
"Yeah well, I got kind of pulled away." I said vaguely.
"Excuse me, you were in your brain." Anne said. "You can't just get pulled away. Distracted, yeah. We always distract ourselves. But to get pulled away means someone else was there."
"He never said otherwise." Miles said.
"That's true." Patrick said.
"Legend?"
I turned around and looked at Death with a huge smile on my face. "Reaper!" I exclaimed, opening my arms and taking several steps toward her as she simply jumped into my arms, and kissed me passionately.
Miles made a sound of disgust, while the others sounded surprised, but I didn't care, because I was putting all of my focus on kissing my woman passionately, and she was doing the same.
After a while, we parted, and looked at each other, the love in our eyes shining, and I attacked her lips with even more passion, pushing her against the wall, and she let out a small moan into my mouth as I used my spider legs to attack her sensitive spots, and she snaked her arms around my neck, then started massaging the top of my backbone, and hitting all of my soft spots with precision.
We were about to move on to the next base, when Patrick called out, "Ok, enough loving!" We parted, slightly regretful that we couldn't continue.
I let Death out of my grasp gently, and she stood straight, and straightened any creases on her dress.
"So, who's the raven haired chick with very well endowed assets that you were very passionately engaging with, Peter?" Marie asked, raising an eyebrow at us.
"Oh right, introductions!" I said, turning around and looking at them. "How could I forget!? Anyways, the raven haired chick, as you called her, is Lady Death, Reaper Of Souls, Gatekeeper, amongst other titles. But most importantly, she is the mother of my firstborn, Tartarus, otherwise known as Tarts."
"You forgot my other titles." Death said amusedly.
"No, I didn't." I said.
"Hmm, what's another title then?" She asked.
"Last Kisser." I said.
"Good job." She said, kissing me on the cheek.
"You told me you had two kids, but you never told me that one of them is the child of a woman with the craziest bod I've ever seen, and also known as the Grim Reaper." Anne said.
"I'm not the Grim Reaper." Death said. "That's the name of a weapon made for one of my avatars."
"Cool." Anne said, then she stretched her hand out for a handshake. "I'm Anne Smith."
"That's it?" Death asked. "Just your name? No powers, or how you met Legend, or anything?"
"Didn't know we were comparing." Anne said, a fire and determination suddenly in her eyes. "Let's do this again. I'm Anne Smith, I age finer than the finest wines, I know when you're not telling the truth, and my shots always hit the center of the bullseye. I found your man in a dumpster, he was knocked out and had his buddy with him in there."
I groaned inwardly, as I saw them both size each other up, and I could very distinctly hear Miles whisper "cat fight" to Tarts, and the amusement was apparent in Marie's eyes, while Patrick was looking at me as if to say that he doesn't envy my life.
After a long minute, Death shook Anne's hand, then looked at me amusedly. "I like her." She said, giving me a smirk. "You sure know how to pick them, Legend."
I gave her a deadpan expression, then because I had nothing I could say to that, I just turned to look at Tarts, and with my eyes, I pleaded for him to save me.
Sorry Dad, you're on your own. Tarts eyed back, looking truly regretful.
Yeah sure, just betray me like that, it's fine, I'll get you and Jackass back. I mentally said, making him gulp.
I looked at Marie, and she smirked, and I glared at her, then softened my glare a miniscule amount, trying to send a message. "It's time for dinner, isn't it Marie?" I asked.
"You know which one is your guest room." She said instead, with a mischievous look. "You can go there, and please don't make us throw our food up with your sounds."
"Oh no, we'll be going to another planet, thank you for the offer anyways." Death said.
"At least be patient for Tarts?" I asked. "We haven't all been together for more than a century now."
"Yeah Mom." Tarts said. "Besides, your guys' last years were literally just the two of you going at it. How many years were you guys at it again?"
"Twelve." Death and I both said.
Marie whistled. "Damn, how are you not dead, Peter?"
"Because I'm a nigh immortal being?" I said.
"Oh, how did I forget that?" Marie said. "Oh, because you never said that!"
"Aren't you like the wife of a journalist or something?" I asked incredulously. "You're supposed to just understand that, right? I said that I was older than the universe, and her name is literally Lady Death."
"How'd you guys meet in the first place?" Patrick asked.
"Oh, you know, a story as old as time itself, literally." I said, getting a snort from Miles, Tarts, and Death. "Guy meets girl, girl tells guy that he has to win past girl's heart, guy travels back in time and fights these crazy dudes, then dies on purpose and meets past girl, then after a long time, like trust me, I think it was more than ten decillion years later, but guy does girl a favor that has him nearly dying again, but for real this time, but girl saves him even though she thinks it will risk her relationship with him, then everything works out!"
"I shouldn't have asked." Patrick said after a moment.