Moving alongside the caravan, they slipped effortlessly through Kumogakure's security checkpoints without a single ripple of suspicion.
Inside the covered carriage, Kakuzu watched the heavy perimeter gates of Kumogakure recede into the distance. Clicking his tongue, he remarked, "Well, it seems the global rumors claiming Kumogakure is preparing to launch a full-scale war are entirely groundless."
"Based on standard logic, they certainly look groundless," Jūzō interjected, leaning back carelessly. "But the problem is, this is Kumogakure we're talking about, a place where the militant faction has always dictated policy. Even if you suspect the rumors are fake, you still have to keep a guard up, don't you?"
Kakuzu turned the thought over in his mind before offering a nod. "A valid point. Incredible, who would have thought you actually possessed a functioning brain?"
"Hey! What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Jūzō barked, glaring at Kakuzu with an annoyed grimace. "You looking for a fight?"
"Sure, go right ahead and swing at me," Kakuzu replied, his tone perfectly flat. "The absolute millisecond you throw a punch, our cover is blown. Once we're exposed, the mission is an immediate failure. And if the mission fails, the Heavenly Transfer Technique Diarmuid wants so badly vanishes into thin air. I'd love to see how you explain that to him when we go back."
Jūzō blinked, temporarily stunned into silence. "How can a veteran like you be so incredibly underhanded?"
"We are shinobi. Since when is being underhanded considered a flaw?" Kakuzu countered naturally.
Seated across from them, Kabuto found the exchange thoroughly entertaining. Watching these two legendary rogue ninja bicker like schoolboys was an unexpected highlight of the journey.
The caravan's carriages soon rolled into the bustling central marketplace, arriving at a pre-booked compound that would serve as their inn.
Kabuto hopped down from the carriage platform and adjusted his glasses. "I need to head out to liquidate our inventory and begin the preliminary intelligence gathering. You two should wait for me inside the inn."
Jūzō nodded, offering no objection as he prepared to head inside to catch up on some sleep.
Kakuzu, however, locked his gaze onto Kabuto. "Liquidate the inventory? You mean selling the goods?"
"Exactly," Kabuto confirmed, nodding. "This specific shipment consists of premium tea leaves sourced directly from the Land of Tea. Due to Kumogakure's severe mountainous terrain and harsh climate, local cultivation of tea is impossible. Out here, these leaves are a highly coveted luxury commodity."
In an instant, Kakuzu's eyes gleamed with intense interest. "I can tell just by looking at you that you lack the instinct of a true merchant. Step aside, I'm coming with you."
Kabuto's smile twitched slightly. Who the hell are you looking down on? I am a master spy trained by the best. How can you claim I lack business instinct? This trade route has been operating seamlessly under my direction for three full years!
Yet, observing the obsessive, unyielding fire burning in Kakuzu's eyes, Kabuto simply swallowed his retort and nodded. "Very well."
"How exactly are the principal capital and the net profits of this caravan structured?" Kakuzu questioned abruptly as they began walking.
"The initial capital is drawn directly from our Intelligence Division's operational budget," Kabuto answered naturally. "As for the net profits generated by the sales, they are brought back and reinvested straight into the division to fund future operations."
"What? Absolutely not! That is a egregious violation of standard financial protocol," Kakuzu barked instantly, his voice sharp.
Kabuto blinked in complete confusion. What do you mean, a violation of protocol? I've been running the books exactly like this for three years, and not a single executive has ever complained!
"I won't meddle with the initial capital allocation," Kakuzu continued righteously, lecturing the younger man. "But any net profit generated from commerce must be immediately surrendered to the Yorozuya's central treasury management. If you absorb the profits directly into the Intelligence Division, it creates an entirely distorted baseline when your division requests an updated budget next fiscal year. It is highly irregular."
"How is it irregular?" Kabuto asked, his voice dropping into a flat, skeptical calm.
"Your division would be sitting on a massive, undisclosed pool of fluid capital while simultaneously demanding new allocations from the treasury. That is the definition of fiscal redundancy," Kakuzu declared.
"But the crucial detail here is that our division earned this money independently," Kabuto countered.
"The source is irrelevant. It violates basic accounting principles," Kakuzu argued, digging his heels in.
Kabuto fell silent for a long moment, studying the legendary bounty hunter. "Then, Kakuzu-senpai, what exactly constitutes proper protocol in your eyes?"
"Naturally, the initial capital remains within your division's ledger as operational funding. That is perfectly fine," Kakuzu stated, his posture straight and his tone filled with absolute moral authority. "However, the generated surplus must be transferred entirely to the director of treasury management, which is to say, me. That is the only correct path."
"I see... I believe a matter of this gravity requires a formal consultation once we return to the village," Kabuto replied, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. The revenue generated by a luxury tea trade in a high-demand zone was no small sum.
Clearing his throat loudly, Kakuzu suddenly offered a casual addendum. "You know, once this assignment concludes, there will be a closed-door executive meeting to ratify your status as a formal member of the Yorozuya. I intend to cast a definitive 'yes' vote on your behalf."
Kabuto stared at Kakuzu, completely dumbfounded. For the love of money, this old fossil is truly willing to engage in blatant political corruption!
Kakuzu, meanwhile, remained entirely unphased. His conscience was perfectly clear; after all, he wasn't doing anything to damage the overarching financial health of the Yorozuya. He was simply centralizing the books. It was a net positive for the organization.
"Well... if that is the case..." Kabuto murmured, playing along. He allowed a flicker of tempted hesitation to cross his features, as if deeply swayed by the political leverage.
"Furthermore, I can personally guarantee that Jūzō will also cast an affirmative vote," Kakuzu added smoothly, pressing his advantage.
At that exact moment, inside the inn, Jūzō suddenly let out a massive sneeze. He rubbed his nose, growling under his breath, Which bastard is plotting against me behind my back?
"We have a deal," Kabuto agreed instantly, a swift smile breaking across his face.
With their under-the-table transaction finalized, the two walked off toward the marketplace in high spirits to sell the tea.
Upon arrival, Kakuzu retreated to a shaded corner of the market square, quietly analyzing the sales techniques employed by the caravan staff Kabuto had stationed. Meanwhile, Kabuto focused entirely on his primary objective—weaving through the local crowds, striking up casual conversations with passing merchants, and subtly extracting snippets of regional news.
After a few hours of independent labor, the two converged at a small stall, each holding a cup of freshly brewed tea.
"Your current operation is fundamentally flawed," Kakuzu announced out of nowhere.
Kabuto paused, turning to look at the elder ninja. "Kakuzu-senpai, while I have yet to receive my official status within the Yorozuya, I must remind you that I am a top-tier professional when it comes to intelligence work. In what way am I flawed?"
Even the mildest soul possessed a shred of pride. Kabuto knew his espionage talents were unmatched in his generation; having his professionalism questioned by a bounty hunter was slightly grating.
"Hmm?" Kakuzu blinked, realizing there had been a misunderstanding. He waved his hand dismissively. "I am not referring to your trivial spy craft. I am talking about your sales model. The way your staff is moving these tea leaves is horribly inefficient. You are leaving an immense amount of money on the table."
Kabuto felt a sudden urge to facepalm. Old man, the entire purpose of selling this tea is to establish a plausible cover and create opportunities to gather intelligence! Whether we turn a massive profit or not is completely secondary! Why the hell are you reversing the core priorities here? Since when did generating revenue become the primary objective while espionage became the side project?
He had a mountain of logical counterarguments locked in his throat, but looking at Kakuzu's dead-serious expression, and remembering the man's notorious reputation as a legendary miser, Kabuto simply let out a long sigh. "Then, what do you suggest we do?"
"It's simple," Kakuzu said, a sharp glint entering his eyes. "Go back to the caravan and bring me the youngest, most visually appealing girl among your intelligence personnel."
Kabuto stared at him with skepticism. "Senpai... those are trained agents of our Intelligence Division. It is highly inappropriate to involve them in... transactional compromises..."
Kakuzu's jaw dropped. "What kind of garbage are you implying?!" Standing tall with an aura of absolute righteousness, he barked, "I am a man of untarnished character! Move your feet and go fetch her!"
Giving the old man one final, deeply suspicious look, Kabuto ultimately relented. He walked back to the compound and returned with a young female agent.
The moment she arrived, Kakuzu took charge. "The current layout you are using to sell these goods will never fetch a premium price. From this moment onward, I am going to rebrand your entire presentation. You will execute your sales exactly according to the narrative and protocol I am about to outline. Understood?"
The young kunoichi blinked, turning a profoundly confused gaze toward Kabuto. Her silent plea was painfully clear: Chief, I assumed you called me out here to infiltrate the estate of a high-ranking Cloud official or extract critical military data. Why am I being assigned to a marketing seminar?
Having already entered into a profitable alliance with Kakuzu, Kabuto simply cleared his throat and looked away, completely ignoring his subordinate's bewildered stare.
Oblivious to their psychological plight, Kakuzu forged ahead with absolute enthusiasm. "Listen carefully. From this moment onward, your identity is the granddaughter of a venerable tea artisan from a secluded estate in the Land of Tea. Your grandfather is the sole proprietor, but his health has taken a catastrophic turn. To fund his life-saving medical treatments, the family has accumulated a staggering mountain of debt. You have traveled a thousand miles to Kumogakure, enduring immense hardship, solely to sell these precious leaves and save his life. You will phrase it exactly like this..."
Kakuzu's blueprint was a masterclass in emotional manipulation: a delicate, vulnerable young girl, freshly heartbroken after a tragic romance, returning to her ailing grandfather's estate to manually roast tea leaves, even sustaining visible, endearing injuries on her hands during the process. Now, she stood in the cold, unfamiliar streets of the Cloud Village, carrying the weight of her family's survival on her frail shoulders. If she failed to hit her sales quota, her beloved grandfather would succumb to his illness.
Just like that, a tragic, compelling persona was constructed.
The elements were flawless: the recent heartbreak established her single status, while her unyielding resilience and filial piety provided a deeply moving narrative arc. Combined with her natural beauty and earnest demeanor, the pitch was devastating.
When she approached a customer, shared her heartbreaking tale, and softly requested that they purchase a small tin of tea to support her grandfather's medical fund, who could possibly refuse? To walk away without buying a tin would make them look utterly soulless.
Sure, the price point was a bit exorbitant... but did they possess no human empathy? What had happened to the basic compassion of society? If a man lacked the basic decency to support a grieving, beautiful girl, how could he ever hope to find a partner?
This was the legendary marketing strategy Kakuzu proudly designated as the "Compassion Tea Art."
By the time Kakuzu concluded his lengthy, impassioned briefing, both Kabuto and the young girl stood entirely paralyzed, their minds completely blank.
"...Kakuzu-senpai?" Kabuto stammered, his spectacles sliding down his nose. "Isn't this... blatant, textbook fraud?"
"How dare you call it fraud? This is a highly sophisticated marketing methodology!" Kakuzu snapped, glaring at the younger man. "Are we, or are we not, delivering actual tea leaves to the consumer?"
"Well... yes," Kabuto admitted instinctively.
"Then there is no deception!" Kakuzu stated, completely vindicated. "We aren't harvesting random weeds from the roadside and passing them off as tea. This is genuine, premium merchandise sourced directly from the Land of Tea. What is wrong with adding a slight premium to a high-quality product?"
"A slight premium doesn't usually result in a price tag of two thousand Ryo per tin..." Kabuto muttered, his cognitive faculties severely strained.
"You fail to grasp the core philosophy," Kakuzu lectured solemnly. "I am not merely selling agriculture. I am selling a profound sense of psychological fulfillment, an opportunity to exercise altruism, and a glimmer of hope for the romantically unfulfilled. When you aggregate those intrinsic values, a price point of two thousand Ryo is an absolute bargain."
Kabuto opened his mouth, closed it, and simply gave up. I literally cannot comprehend this level of financial wizardry.
Refusing to waste further breath on explanations, Kakuzu turned his attention back to the agent. "Forget it. It doesn't matter if you comprehend it, as long as you execute it flawlessly. Girl, what is your designation?"
"I am Hanare," the young kunoichi answered automatically, her heart fluttering with deep anxiety.
"Excellent. From this moment onward, you are Hanare, the tragic tea maiden. Commit your lineage to memory, adopt the behavioral cues I provided, and begin your deployment. Move!" Kakuzu commanded.
Her mind filled with profound trepidation, Hanare glanced at Kabuto one last time before stepping out into the marketplace to execute the script.
Left behind at the stall, Kabuto rubbed his chin, falling into a deep, existential silence. Is this legally considered fraud? Wait... why the hell am I wasting intellectual energy debating the ethics of retail marketing? Wasn't our primary objective here to secure the Heavenly Transfer Technique? How did we transition into a high-yield tea enterprise?
That evening, inside the courtyard of the secluded inn, Jūzō stood entirely dumbfounded. He watched in blank confusion as Kakuzu and Kabuto enthusiastically unloaded heavy wooden chests filled to the brim with glittering Ryo coins from the back of a carriage.
"How did the intelligence gathering go?" Jūzō asked, crossing his arms.
Kabuto wiped a bead of sweat from his brow and looked up. "What intelligence?"
"Huh?" Jūzō blinked, his brain momentarily short-circuiting. "Wait... what the hell have you two been doing out there all day? Did you seriously not gather a single shred of data regarding our actual mission?"
"The intelligence assets can be secured over the next few days," Kabuto declared with absolute, unwavering professional gravitas. "Currently, our operational identities are those of traveling merchants. To establish a flawless, unshakeable cover, it is imperative that we prioritize our commercial endeavors. Based on our current metrics, this tea inventory can sustain another two days of peak sales. Once our liquid assets are completely secured and the inventory is depleted, we will seamlessly transition into the espionage phase."
Jūzō stared at him, completely shell-shocked. What kind of reality-altering genjutsu did this kid walk into today?
Right at that moment, Kakuzu turned to Kabuto, his expression filled with profound, heartfelt approval. "Kabuto, my boy, I find your operational style to be exceptionally compatible with my own. Jūzō over here is a complete meathead who knows absolutely nothing besides swinging that oversized blade of his; I've been thoroughly sick of his lack of financial literacy for years. Furthermore, my division has always lacked a dedicated, sharp intelligence officer. What do you say the three of us form a permanent operational squad moving forward?"
Kabuto glanced down at the overflowing chests of pristine currency, then turned back to Kakuzu, offering a deeply solemn, respectful nod. "I see no objection whatsoever. After all... it is all for the greater glory of the organization!"