"Knew it."
"Oh, we definitely knew it."
"What's all this 'someday' talk? Nobody's buying that load of crap."
"'Someday'? This is coming from the person who, at their peak, was churning out four chapters a day. Your credibility isn't just gone—it's non-existent. (Sighs in exasperation)."
"What kind of monster writes 300 chapters in six months without missing a single day? What does his schedule even look like? It's terrifying."
"Apparently, he just enjoys writing way too much. It's a classic case of 'I love Fate too much and now it's a problem.'"
"The CEO is an Artoria-obsessed maniac and the head honcho is a walking pile of exceptions. I don't know how we put up with this company's work. Besides, with Part 2 about to kick off, launching a Gudaguda event now just looks like we're picking a fight with the schedule, doesn't it?!"
"Well, what do you expect? Someone said, 'By the time Part 1 is over, Part 2 will be halfway done anyway, it'll be fine!' And look where that got us."
"Does the author have a pop-up fortress for a brain? One of the staff spent ten thousand yen on Saint Quartz for this, the poor idiot."
"Anyway, with all that said… the Gudaguda Event is officially starting!"
"I appreciate the priority pass! Yes! I've been saving my screen time specifically for this moment!!"
"We look forward to your continued support of the wacky residents of Chaldea!"
"I'll never forgive that 'True Companion' nonsense! Never!!"
Event Singularity: Gudaguda Gorgeous Honnoji!
Gudaguda First Contact!
Chaldea—the last bastion of humanity, reconstructed after the restoration of the Human Order. The ultimate, most "down-home" fortress in history.
Thanks to the soul-stirring efforts of Rikka and her dedicated staff, supported by the Servants with whom she forged unbreakable bonds, the war against Goetia reached its conclusion. The future was reclaimed.
With their roles fulfilled, it seemed as though the Servants had all departed from Chaldea, their duties finally at an end…
HOWEVER!
"Maaaaster. Pass me that mandarin orange, would ya?"
"Sure thing."
The Servants hadn't left at all!
Terrified by Master Rikka's catastrophic lack of "feminine grace," Jeanne d'Arc had made a desperate plea. Unable to leave the girl to her own devices, the Heroic Spirits made a legendary decision: they would throw themselves into a new battle—the battle to reclaim Rikka's lost girlhood!!
Yes, this is the story of Rikka's journey to rediscover her feminine charm!!
"Is it just me, or does it feel like there's a lot of unnecessary hype going on in the background?"
In the Chaldea Cultural Exchange Room, the "Strongest and Worst Master of Humanity," Rikka Fujimaru, sat peeling oranges. In this context, "worst" was meant in a cool, dark-hero sort of way—she wasn't about to go offering half the world to any Demon Kings.
"Oh, you're just imagining things~. No wars, no battlefields—let's just take it nice and easy~."
Sprawled out lazily under the kotatsu was the personification of "beauty fades fast," Okita Souji. She was the Sakura Saber herself, a sickly swordswoman whose specialty was coughing up blood in a set menu with her skills.
"Hey, you lot. I picked up some of those iTunes cards or whatever you call 'em."
Entering the fray was the Demon of the Battlefield. It was Hijikata—the "Space Ogre"—currently high on a supply of pickled takuan.
"Thank you so much! Come on, let's load up the credits and hit the gacha! Gacha time!"
"You're a pretty heavy user yourself, Okita-san," Rikka noted.
"Buying Quartz is just like being a Heroic Spirit! The Spirits might fade away, but the Gacha remains! It lingers! It stays in your bank statement forever!"
"Yikes, she's in deep."
"Don't overdo it," Hijikata barked, shoving a bowl of takuan-kimchi rice into his mouth. He shot them a sharp, glinting look. "And don't you dare touch the emergency rations just because your ass is on fire for a roll. You know what happens to people who mess with the finances without permission, don't you?"
Trembling under the Vice-Commander's gaze, Okita pressed the button for a ten-roll.
"N-No way! I know, I know! Just one chance! One more chance! My last meager savings! Please, give me a miracle—!"
The screen flashed.
[Craft Essence: Be Elegant]
"ELEGANCE MUST PERISH! THERE IS NO MERCY!!!"
"It's actually rare to see a Servant in the guaranteed slot these days… I guess it's better than getting Primeval Curse again. Barely."
"Pity. Into the furnace you go to become Mana Prisms and line our pockets… By the way, is it true this was the King of Heroes' best equipment for a while? For real?"
"Star Generation Rate up is basically trash now, though. Can't be helped. If you're going for that slot, it's Victor of the Moon, Joint Recital, or just nuking them with Black Grail or Golden Sumo."
"Hmph. Okita-san is still a top-tier Quick Servant! Absolute victory for me!"
"I wonder when we're getting a 'Quick Merlin.' We have Tamamo for Arts and Merlin for Buster, I just want a Merlin who can support Okita-san."
"Does Zhuge Liang ever get a day off?"
"Never."
""Figures.""
"Takuan is delicious," Hijikata grunted.
While supposedly working on her "feminine grace," Rikka enjoyed a mindless moment with Okita and Hijikata.
"I'LL CRUSH YOU! ODA NOBUNAGAAAA!"
"Sorry, the voice actor is putting a little too much growl into that one," Rikka muttered, playing a Sengoku-era action game to pass the time.
"Speaking of which, I wonder what Nobu is up to these days?"
"Nobu?"
"Yes, Nobu! The Sixth Heavenly Demon King! Now that the journey to restore the Human Order is over, I doubt we'll see her again, but we certainly had a… complicated history."
She's not actually that cool, though! Okita made sure to add internally.
"Wait, Okita-san, you know Nobu? Isn't that a losing matchup for you?"
"N-Nonsense! Not at all! From a compatibility standpoint, I have a total advantage! Taking down Nobu is a piece of cake! Yes! Total victory for Okita-san!"
"Shut up. Takuan is great."
"Hmm… Oda Nobunaga. At this point, he has so many avatars in pop culture he's basically the Japanese Vishnu. Sengoku warlords aren't just free clip art, you know!" Rikka joked while controlling a version of Nobu on screen that was currently dual-wielding shotguns.
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