PAST
-----------
MELINA'S POV
----------------------
The sunlight peeked into my room, and I didn't want the day to start. Not yet. Not when my mind was a tangled mess of what to do and what not to do. Not when my place in someone's life was so uncertain.
I leaned against the wall, curling my knees on the bed, still sleep-struck, still unwilling to face reality. The room was quiet—too quiet—as if it was waiting for me to make a decision I wasn't ready to make. I wanted to skip today. Disappear under the blanket. Pretend the world outside didn't exist.
But more than what I wish to do, what I should do matters. That thought sat heavy in my chest like a stubborn weight. I have to let Theo know about Zara. No matter if I'm just a plaything to him, I should talk to him—because Zara's safety matters. There's no way around it. Avoiding it will only delay the inevitable.
Half-minded, I dragged myself to college. Every step felt heavier than the last, like my legs carried both hesitation and insecurity. The thought of facing Theodore lingered in my head, sharp and uncomfortable. I didn't want to see him—not when the idea of being just another fleeting name on his list of flings kept whispering at the back of my mind. I hated that thought. But it was there. Constant.
As I stepped onto campus, the usual buzz surrounded me—laughter, footsteps, chatter. Everyone had their lives moving forward while mine felt stuck on repeat. I spotted Theo with his friends at their usual spot near the bike stands. Of course, he looked like he belonged there—carefree, laughing, the center of attention.
I inhaled deeply, trying to steady myself.
You have to do this, I reminded myself.
Step one: walk up to him.
Step two: tell him you need to talk about something important.
The plan sounded simple in my head—walk up, say "Let's talk right now. It's important." He'd jump off his bike, follow me, I'd explain everything… and then he'd—
And then what?
My brain froze mid-scenario.
That's when it hit me. I had no idea what would happen after he found out about Zara's situation. What would they do? How would they react? Would this ruin everything—for Zara, for Theo, for me? That was a question for later. Right now, I needed to focus on step one. If I kept overthinking step two, I'd never move at all.
Just as I built up the courage to step closer, it happened.
Angela threw herself into Theo's arms, and he held her like it was second nature. Everyone around them laughed, unaware of the silent storm building inside me.
For a solid moment, I stood there like a mannequin—frozen, expressionless, absorbing the scene. Angela looked like she was meant to be with Theo. Perfect fit. Beautiful people with beautiful people. The kind of pair others point at and say, "They just make sense."
There was no flaw in her compared to him. No flaw in the idea of them. She glowed, as if the world bent its light toward her. And me? I felt like the misplaced puzzle piece trying to belong to the wrong set.
People say comparing kills joy. Exactly. Comparing does kill joy—it pours gasoline over an already burning fire of insecurity.
Ever since I learned to talk, I've heard whispers around me:
"She's darker than Melodie."
"Melodie is prettier."
"Her nose is small and cute, yours is like a witch's nose."
They'd all laugh. Me too. Even when I wanted to scream, "I'm beautiful in my own way," I just laughed and accepted it. Or at least pretended to.
Every kind of insecure thought hurled through my mind like a relentless storm. I hated them. I hated that they had power over me. I hated my parents for not making me beautiful. For abandoning me in an orphanage. For leaving me to be picked up by people who never truly cared. For setting the stage of my life like this.
I must have stared at Theo too long because he turned, eyes narrowing slightly—probably wondering what was up with me. Maybe he noticed the weird mix of longing and resentment on my face. Maybe not.
I didn't waste a second after his gaze met mine. I forced my scattered thoughts to regroup, gathered the broken pieces of myself lying on the pavement, turned away, and walked straight to class without looking back.
Don't break now.
I'm not backing down. I need to talk to Theo about Zara. My feelings and insecurities don't outweigh the pain Zara will suffer if I stay silent.
As I walked down the pavement, hurried footsteps echoed behind me, matching my pace. My heart leapt.
Theo. Thank goodness—he decided to follow. Maybe this was my chance.
I turned, ready to speak, but—
It wasn't Theo.
It was Gregg.
My eyes flicked from Gregg back to the group. Angela was still leaning toward Theo, and Theo looked at me for a fleeting second before turning his focus back to her. That look stung more than I expected.
"They dated before. Who knows if they're still secretly together."
Dove's text echoed in my mind, twisting the knife a little deeper.
Gregg snapped his fingers in front of my face, pulling me out of the spiral.
"Oh—Gregg. Yes?" I forced my voice to sound normal.
"Zara said your notes are neat. Can I copy them?" he asked casually, unaware of the storm I was in.
"Sure," I nodded shortly, walking back to class and dropping my bag beside Zara's seat.
I heard Gregg calling after me, but I didn't look back. Turning to him meant my traitorous eyes might drift toward Theo and Angela again. The way Theo looked away the moment I looked his way stuck in my head. Had I done something wrong? Or had his interest in me simply expired?
Dove and Zara were in the middle of a heated debate when I arrived. Their voices were low but sharp, words flying like sparks.
"I told you, I saw Theo and Angela kissing," Dove said. My brain decided to focus on perfecting my notes, deliberately avoiding their conversation.
"Did you hear that, Mel?" Zara asked.
For the love of God.
"Ah? No, girls. I'm a bit busy. Let's talk later."
"I'm not lying! I saw him kissing Angela!" Dove swore on her books. Her voice was firm, like she meant it.
It didn't matter. I told myself it didn't.
He's nobody to me.
Nobody.
But somewhere deep, it burned. I wanted to run off, cling to someone, get a boyfriend—just to show others.
Pathetic.
But no matter what, The step one,Talking about Zara to Theo should be done.
---