If anyone were to ask Curly Dadan for the absolute, number one secret to surviving as a mountain bandit, she would immediately reply with two words: "Understand reality."
Therefore, when the 'Hero of the Marines', Vice Admiral Monkey D. Garp, showed up at her doorstep, violently smashed his fist into her wall, and demanded that she raise two chaotic, super-powered children—under the explicit threat of throwing her entire bandit family into Impel Down if she refused—Dadan swallowed her pride, forced a smile, and accepted her fate.
This deep-rooted understanding of reality was exactly why she currently looked like a terrified, highly submissive quail.
As Bardock and his heavily armed crew casually hiked through the forests of Mt. Colubo, they had briefly crossed paths with Dadan's bandit gang. Despite being an infamous, foul-mouthed bandit boss who terrorized the Gray Terminal, Dadan instantly felt the suffocating, terrifying aura radiating from the golden-eyed man leading the group. Her survival instincts screamed at her to remain absolutely silent and invisible.
Bardock merely gave the terrified woman a brief, polite nod as he passed.
He knew that beneath her gruff, incredibly violent exterior, Dadan possessed an intensely loyal and deeply affectionate heart. She was a woman who was willing to risk her own life for Ace, Sabo, and Luffy. In the original timeline, upon learning of Ace's tragic death at Marineford, this 'ordinary' mountain bandit possessed the sheer, desperate courage to tackle Vice Admiral Garp to the ground and ruthlessly beat his face into a bloody pulp for letting Ace die. She truly, unconditionally viewed those chaotic boys as her own flesh and blood.
'It's a damn shame,' Bardock thought, remembering a piece of trivia. 'When Dadan was young, she was actually considered the most beautiful woman in Foosha Village. Oda truly is absolutely ruthless to older women in this universe.'
After officially crossing the peak of Mt. Colubo and descending the other side, the peaceful, idyllic scenery of Foosha Village finally came into view.
It was an incredibly quiet, unassuming, and profoundly ordinary rural town. Considering this tiny speck of land was literally the birthplace of the Marine Hero Garp, the Supreme Commander of the Revolutionary Army Dragon, and the future Pirate King Luffy... its absolute mundanity was almost jarring.
Thanks entirely to Garp's legendary reputation—and his frequent visits home—Foosha Village practically never suffered from violent pirate raids. In fact, the absolute last pirate crew to officially set foot in this town had been the Red Hair Pirates over a decade ago.
Because Shanks and his crew had left such a profound, positive impression on the villagers, the locals here were highly tolerant of pirates. Even when young Luffy ran through the streets screaming that he was going to become the Pirate King, the villagers mostly just chuckled affectionately rather than calling the Marines.
As Bardock's diverse crew casually strolled into the village, they naturally attracted a significant amount of attention from the locals. The primary reason for the stares wasn't their weapons, but rather the sheer biological diversity of the group. Fairies (Dwarves) were an incredibly rare, almost mythological sight in the outside world, especially in the East Blue.
"Look! Are those actual Fairies?!" "I can't believe it! The legends are actually real!" "Oh my goodness, they're so cute!"
The whispers rippled through the crowd.
"Hey, do you see that over there? That little raccoon-dog is actually walking on two legs!"
"I'M NOT A RACCOON-DOG! I'M A REINDEER!"
Chopper, possessing the highly sensitive hearing of an animal, instantly caught the comment. He aggressively stomped his little hooves and yelled back at the villagers.
"Oh my gosh, it can actually talk!" "That makes it even cuter! Look at his little hat!"
Hearing the barrage of affectionate praise, Chopper's furious expression instantly melted. His cheeks flushed bright pink, and his body literally began to wobble and float slightly off the ground as he performed a weird, squiggly happy dance.
"You bastards! Even if you praise me like that, it's not going to make me happy at all! You jerks!" Chopper yelled, an incredibly massive, goofy smile plastered across his face.
'You literally couldn't look happier if you tried,' the rest of the crew deadpanned internally, collectively rolling their eyes at the reindeer's severe tsundere complex.
Eventually, the group arrived at the absolute center of the village: Partys Bar.
Bardock pushed open the swinging wooden doors. Since it was still relatively early in the day—hardly the prime time for drinking—the tavern was completely empty. A beautiful young woman with dark green hair, Makino, was diligently wiping down the wooden bar counter.
Hearing the door open, Makino quickly set down her rag and flashed a warm, highly welcoming smile. "Welcome! Please, come right in!"
Noticing that the massive, heavily armed group was completely unfamiliar, she tilted her head curiously. "Are you all first-time visitors to Foosha Village? What can I get for you today?"
"I'm starving," Bardock said, taking a seat at a large central table. "Just bring me whatever your specialty dish is, in a massive portion. And I'll take a large glass of fruit juice." He then turned to the crew. "Order whatever you want. It's on me."
Having just hiked over a massive mountain range, the entire crew was incredibly hungry. They aggressively flagged Makino down and began ordering massive quantities of food. Ironically, despite being a notorious pirate crew sitting in a tavern, only Daz Bonez and Sai actually ordered alcohol; everyone else ordered juice, milk, or tea.
As Makino hurried back to the kitchen to start preparing the massive feast, Bardock took the opportunity to casually observe the interior of the tavern.
It wasn't a particularly large establishment. Makino seemingly operated the entire business by herself, acting as the owner, bartender, waitress, and chef. For a sleepy, isolated town like Foosha Village, that was probably more than enough.
Bardock couldn't help but chuckle slightly as he realized he was sitting near the exact spot where Higuma, the infamous 'Mountain Bandit King' (who possessed a legendary bounty of eight million Belly), had aggressively smashed a glass bottle over Red-Haired Shanks' head.
Shanks was an incredibly magnanimous, thick-skinned man. Bardock honestly admitted to himself that if a weak, arrogant thug had smashed a bottle of alcohol over his head, he absolutely wouldn't have just laughed it off. He would have probably broken every single bone in the bandit's body before feeding him to a Sea King.
"Where is Enel?" Robin asked, glancing at the empty doorway with a slight frown. "Given the speed of the White Dragon, he definitely should have arrived at the port long before we finished hiking over the mountain."
"You don't think he somehow caught whatever highly infectious, geographical curse that green-haired idiot in Shimotsuki Village had, do you?" Perona joked, sipping her tea.
"Absolutely impossible," Bardock shook his head, laughing. "A truly magnificent idiot of Zoro's caliber is a one-in-a-billion anomaly; you couldn't find a second one in the entire world if you tried. Enel probably just ran into an unexpected situation at the port. Looks like we'll just have to eat his portion of the food for now."
A few minutes later, Makino emerged from the kitchen, gracefully carrying several massive plates of steaming, delicious food. Bardock immediately began eating with serious focus.
The food was absolutely fantastic. Makino was undeniably a beautiful, kind-hearted, and incredibly domestic woman; a truly perfect wife. It made perfect sense why Shanks had supposedly settled down long enough to secretly have a child with her (according to the most popular fandom theories, anyway).
However, in the brutal, highly transient world of piracy, the title of 'Father' was practically nonexistent. Whether it was Yasopp, Dragon, or Shanks, powerful men of the sea were historically, undeniably terrible at actually raising their own children.