It wasn't just because of what she had witnessed at Solace's home. No. Someone had warned her about this before. It was Verya, back when they were stuck on the mountain. The events with Solace might have finally pushed her into action, but Verya had planted the seed long before.
"Don't let your past sharpen it so much that it carves away the parts of you that still matter. If you let only anger guide you, you'll lose yourself before you find what you're looking for."
Those words echoed in her mind. She understood now. She saw the responsibility of revenge and the heavy toll it took on the people left behind. But Phoebe wasn't going to stop. She couldn't. The fire in her chest was still there, burning just as hot. She just realized she didn't have to burn down her own home to keep it lit.
The large room went completely silent. Her father stared up at her, the newspaper slipping slightly in his hands, utterly speechless.
The first sound to finally leave her father's mouth was a quiet, confused, "Huh?"
Seeing his blank reaction, a wave of regret washed over her. She assumed he didn't want to. After all, she had been the one pushing him away for years. It was incredibly selfish to just walk up one morning and expect to mend a lonely, broken relationship. It wasn't that they never spoke, but it was always strictly business—if she needed something important, like the transfer of Solace's father or Nolan's little brother.
She suddenly felt like a spoiled child. A familiar, defensive sadness crept in.
"It's fine if you don't want to," she said quickly, already turning her back to walk toward the door.
That movement snapped him out of his trance.
"No!" he said, a little too loud, before clearing his throat. "Ahem... I mean..."
A warm, hesitant smile appeared on his tired face. "Let's have some breakfast."
A few moments later, she sat opposite him at the long, expensive wooden dining table.
Her father was looking at her as though she were a ghost. He seemed entirely unwilling to take his eyes off her, as if blinking might make her disappear.
Phoebe shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. "What?" she asked.
"Nothing," he replied softly. He paused for a long moment, studying her. "Has... has something happened?"
"No. Nothing," Phoebe answered automatically. Then, a beat later, she added with her regular, icy tone, "Can't a daughter even have breakfast with her father?"
It sounded confident and sharp above the table. But beneath the heavy wood, out of sight, the facade was breaking. Her legs were fidgeting nervously, bouncing up and down against the chair.
Taken aback by her sharp reply, her father blinked. Then, slowly, a genuine smile broke through the exhaustion on his sunken face. It was a soft, quiet expression that felt strangely soothing to Phoebe's anxious heart.
"I suppose you really haven't changed," he whispered to himself.
"What?" Phoebe asked quickly, not quite catching his words.
Her father shook his head slightly, his smile remaining. "It feels nice," he said gently. "It feels just right. I feel happy, whatever reason you had to do this."
Before Phoebe could figure out how to respond to that, a servant entered the dining room, quietly bringing their food to the table.
They began their meal. A very awkward silence settled over the room. Phoebe kept her eyes glued to her plate, aggressively focused on eating, or at least pretending to ignore her father. He, on the other hand, kept glancing up at her, the mild shock still not entirely fading from his features.
The whole breakfast passed exactly like that. It was their first time sitting together like this in years, so the awkwardness was inevitable. But as she took a sip of her drink, Phoebe felt a small sense of relief.
It was awkward, yes. But it certainly wasn't going to be the last time. Everyone has to start somewhere, right?
Later that morning, Phoebe stepped out of her quiet house and walked down the street to meet up with Lily. It was their routine.
Honestly, ever since they were little girls, Lily and Phoebe had been inseparable. Sitting next to her now, Phoebe couldn't help but realize how much they had all grown since the start of their first year at the academy. They were entirely different people. Well, everyone except Lex. Lex was always just unapologetically himself.
They found a quiet bench in a nearby park. The rain from her nightmare was gone, leaving the air crisp and cold. They sat in comfortable silence for a while, watching a few carriages pass by, until Lily suddenly spoke up.
"I shouldn't have said it, right?"
Phoebe turned to look at her. "Said what?"
"My whole speech about revenge," Lily said, looking down at her hands. She seemed genuinely troubled. "I feel like I shouldn't have said it... especially against Nolan."
Phoebe let out a dramatic groan, leaning back against the bench. "Does that mean it was fine to say it against me? I am truly hurt, you know." She raised an eyebrow, waiting for a reaction.
Lily gave her a dark, flat look, signaling her to take this seriously.
Seeing her friend's guilt, Phoebe exhaled, dropping the sarcasm. "I do think it was a bit overboard," she admitted softly. "But I'm sure Nolan knows you meant no harm. We are all just dealing with a lot right now."
Lily clicked her tongue, a sharp tsk sound, still not entirely forgiving herself. But she didn't dwell on it. Instead, she shifted her gaze to Phoebe, her eyes narrowing slightly.
"Anyway. What about Solace?"
Phoebe didn't miss a beat. "What about him?" she replied. Her tone was perfectly cool, projecting the image of someone without a care in the world.
Internally, however, her stomach tied itself into a knot. She was not okay.
"What about him, seriously?" Lily pressed, turning fully on the bench to face her. "You have been avoiding him for quite a while now. You actively walk the other way when he's around."
Phoebe didn't budge. She kept her eyes fixed on the trees across the street. "It's none of your business."
Lily raised an eyebrow. A highly amused, mischievous smile broke across her face. "Poor guy," she sighed dramatically. "I feel bad for him, really. I mean, he clearly cares for you, and yet here you are, not giving him a second thought."
Lily deliberately paused, letting the silence hang in the air before delivering the final blow. "I hope he finds someone else to love... Someone like Love, who actually isn't afraid to show what she thinks."
Suddenly, the conversation with Solace's family resurfaced.
Phoebe's cool, stoic facade was shattered instantly. She whipped her head around, glaring at her friend. "Hey!"
"What?" Lily asked innocently, though her eyes were dancing with amusement.
Phoebe bit the inside of her cheek. It was true. She knew Solace cared for her, even if she didn't entirely know what kind of affection it was yet. And she truly appreciated it. But she just needed time.
She cared for him deeply, but she was still hurt. After their grueling journey in the mountains, the bond they had formed felt unbreakable. They had all shared one common sentiment: to avenge Sarah Leodra, who was brutally killed right in front of their eyes. When Solace refused to join the fight against the gang, it felt like a betrayal. Phoebe knew her emotions might have gotten the best of her in that moment, but the sting was real.
Even though he eventually agreed and was now the one laying out the entire plan for the New Year's raid. She had built a wall.
She wanted to talk to him. She really did. But she simply didn't know how to express that. It was the same emotional paralysis she suffered with her father. They both had this terrible habit of burying their feelings because of their pasts, not knowing how to take the first step. But she had managed to take a step with her dad this morning. Maybe she could do it again.
Phoebe looked down at her boots, her voice dropping to a quiet, vulnerable whisper.
"I want to make it up to him... I just don't know how."
Hearing the genuine distress in her voice, Lily's mischievous expression softened. She leaned closer, her confidence dwindling just a bit as she offered a lifeline.
"I... might have a plan."
That sentence immediately spiked Phoebe's interest. She looked up. "What plan?"
"Well," Lily started, looking a little guilty, "I recently heard Vivi apologizing to Solace for something. My curiosity got the best of me, so I dug a little deeper."
"Creepy," Phoebe interjected deadpan.
Lily stood up abruptly. "Do you want to hear it or not? Otherwise, I'm going."
Phoebe quickly reached out and grabbed Lily's hand, pulling her back down to the bench. "Continue."
Lily settled back into her seat, a small, triumphant smile returning to her face. She leaned in close and whispered the secret she had uncovered.
"You know Solace's birthday is coming up, right?"