[Bitches, you can all suck it now, I allow it.]
I declare as I head downstairs, but there are no vixens around to listen to the Great Me.
[ASTRAD!]
[GYAAAA!]
I scream as Girl-Mom suddenly bursts out of the kitchen and hangs herself from my neck... hang yourself from this one instead.
[You're okay, sniff… you're okay…] — Girl-Mom began to sob against my neck. I can't even bully her like this… or can I?
[Kekeke, why wouldn't I be? The rat-boy is invincible. Great and powerful.] — In the end, my intrusive thoughts are defeated by my desire not to run out of a food source for who-knows-how-long.
Because picking a fight with Girl-Mom is exactly that. And it's a well-known fact that you don't mess with the food source during the apocalypse.
Survive on snacks? I could, if I had to. Cook for myself? I could, if I had to.
Just like we could all do something productive with our lives instead of rotting our brains with social media, badly written novels, and anime.
But here we are.
The rat-boy didn't come into this world to change it; he came to parasite off it. His sacred duty.
[Anyway, where are my vixens?] — I ask while patting Girl-Mom's head.
[They must be out exploring,] — Louise answered from behind me.
[You must be hungry; let's talk while you eat,] — Amelia continued, pulling away from my arms and dragging me into the kitchen.
Vanquishing those intrusive thoughts was a solid move. Great me, great rat-boy. Great Girl-Mom.
...…..
[Chomp, chomp… in conclusion, the rat-boy is a beast in bed, I get it.] — I conclude after receiving a quick update from Louise, the aunt, and Amelia.
Even though the rat-boy always knew it, it's good that everyone else knows it now, too.
[Why can you never reach a normal conclusion?] — Yumi.
[There is nothing more normal than my greatness, gyahahaha!]
[[[Umm…]]]
The girls roll their eyes at me. Yes, just like that; the food calms my stomach, but their hatred heals my corrupt existence.
[Anyway, I'll ask Sylah to examine you,] — the aunt said between sighs as she stood up.
[Who?]
[The elf.]
[Oh, the rat-boy doesn't need that.]
[You behave, or I will personally make sure you do need it.]
Gulp.
Fear… the rat-boy concludes as the aunt leaves the kitchen.
Cursed apocalyptic world with no protection laws for infantilized adults.
[By the way, the elves?]
[The rat-boy doesn't get a bad vibe from them, do you?]
[I don't think they're plotting anything particularly harmful.]
[[Tsk.]]
Finding no valid excuses to oppose the hippies, Louise and I are left with no choice but to click our tongues.
[I'm so jealous…]
[[Umm?]]
At the sudden whisper, we both focus our attention on Amelia.
[Eh? Ah, no… Well, you know…] — Assailed by our curious stares, the girl turns bright red.
I don't know what's going on, but let's stick to what works.
[It's just… Well… that you can communicate with so few words… and that you always seem synchronized somehow… And… well… that you can understand each other so well… it's enviable… I think… I HAVE THINGS TO DO, EXCUSE ME!]
The girl's voice fades with every word until she finally explodes and flees halfway through her explanation, leaving Louise and me alone in the kitchen.
[[…]]
Are you seriously going to create this awkward atmosphere and just bolt? Is this a trolling strategy? How dare a rookie play me like that?
[Drop dead.]
[Get bent.]
We decided to ignore it.
--------------- Rat-Boy Network ---------------
Rat-Boy 1: "In this new era where two worlds seem to be merging… In what category do the humans of this world fall?". 4, what's up with that garbage note? Did you enter your hetero-emo phase?
Rat-Boy 4: Fuck you, I was inspired, and it's a valid question. More importantly, weren't you dead?
Rat-Boy 1: Your mother would suffer too much without me, so I held on.
Rat-Boy 4: You're really looking for a fight, aren't you?
Rat-Boy 1: Come get some then.
Rat-Boy 2: Girls, you're both pretty.
Rat-Boy 8: It really was three days this time. Are you Rat-Jesus now?
Rat-Boy 1: Shouldn't you be on your way here? Why do you have a connection?
Rat-Boy 8: Gathering supplies.
Rat-Boy 1: Then move it, and remember the sacrifice.
Rat-Boy 8: Will my sister do?
Rat-Boy 1: Hell no, that would be way too gay.
Rat-Boy 8: Huh? Why?
Rat-Boy 1: It's like banging the female version of your bro, right?
Rat-Boy 10: No way…
Rat-Boy 3: If you put it like that…
Rat-Boy 4: Oh God…
Rat-Boy 2: Are we really having this conversation right now?
Rat-Boy 5: No, no, they have a point.
Rat-Boy 9: 1, are you back from the dead?
Rat-Boy 1: Bitch, where's my morning quickie?
Rat-Boy 9: Maybe later. Come to the lab when you can.
Rat-Boy 1: I have a lab?
Rat-Boy 9: You do now.
Rat-Boy 1: Cool.
Rat-Boy 8: Very cool.
Rat-Boy 4: Cool.
Rat-Boy 3: Cool.
Rat-Boy 2: Cool.
Rat-Boy 10: Cool.
Rat-Boy 1: Whatever. Situation?
Rat-Boy 3: Things are getting complicated faster than we'd like.
Rat-Boy 4: The development of new skills and abilities is bringing both good and bad things in equal measure.
Rat-Boy 2: Some zones are benefiting from the strength increase to bolster their security.
Rat-Boy 3: But others ran into insurgent groups that threw the power balance off and fractured everything.
Rat-Boy 1: The usual, then.
Rat-Boy 8: Yeah.
Rat-Boy 3: Obviously.
Rat-Boy 5: Couldn't be any other way.
Rat-Boy 4: Safe zone, lol.
Rat-Boy 5: Lol.
Rat-Boy 3: Lol.
Rat-Boy 1: Lol.
Rat-Boy 2: In their defense, there are successful zones.
Rat-Boy 4: Leaving the obvious aside, the real problem is the "Astrad Events."
Rat-Boy 1: What the fuck?
Rat-Boy 5: We decided to call the events where the light pillars seem to activate and bring new species that.
Rat-Boy 1: Why the hell are you naming an apocalypse event after me?
Rat-Boy 4: Because they're a goddamn unpredictable nuisance and they hit like a kick in the ass, just like you.
Rat-Boy 1: Yeah? Well… Wait, I actually like that.
Rat-Boy 5: We figured you would.
Rat-Boy 3: You're welcome.
Rat-Boy 2: Lol.
Rat-Boy 8: Lol.
Rat-Boy 4: Lol.
Rat-Boy 10: Lol.
Rat-Boy 3: Back to the topic, what do you think of the elves?
Rat-Boy 1: The theory that they're just weed-smoking hippies is out. They're magical weed-smoking hippies.
Rat-Boy 3: How problematic is that?
Rat-Boy 1: Very. At the very least, they are capable of stopping Zeus with magic.
Rat-Boy 4: Does that not say much?
Rat-Boy 5: The fucking dog is the size of a small truck now.
Rat-Boy 4: … Well, that does say something…
Rat-Boy 8: Does all this mean guns will become useless?
Rat-Boy 3: I doubt it, but eventually, they'll be unable to decide a fight on their own. The times when a 9mm gave you absolute authority over an unarmed person are ending.
Rat-Boy 2: According to the elf, there are warriors with high enough levels to face things like Zeus or the Orc King in a 1-on-1; even much more powerful ones.
Rat-Boy 3: The point is "high enough level." We're not saying just anyone can do it. Plus, the Orc King still fell to heavy weaponry, and you can't say he was completely immune to damage from other guns.
Rat-Boy 8: Though you would need a lot of people firing at the same time.
Rat-Boy 1: So what? The point is they go down, and if there's one thing we humans are good at, it's ganging up on things.
Rat-Boy 3: Part of the Horde.
Rat-Boy 5: One with the Horde.
Rat-Boy 4: Horde.
Rat-Boy 2: Horde.
Rat-Boy 1: Horde.
Rat-Boy 10: Horde.
Rat-Boy 8: Horde.
Rat-Boy 5: Wait, doesn't that mean our individualistic group is at a disadvantage?
Rat-Boy 3: Ah…
Rat-Boy 5: Ah…
Rat-Boy 4: Ah…
Rat-Boy 2: Ah…
Rat-Boy 1: Ah…
Rat-Boy 10: Ah…
Rat-Boy 8: Touché…
...
[Bitch, you really know how to kill the mood,] — I complain to Louise, but she just sticks her tongue out at me.
[I'm just saying it like I see it.]
This insolent vixen is rebelling.
[Whatever, shall we go see what 9 wants?]
The elf thing or whatever doesn't really interest me. The only "echo" the rat-boy needs to know about is the echo of his vixens moaning at night.
If it's not a power-up or a debuff update, I don't care.
The rat-boy is the type who skips NPC dialogue and jumps straight to the mechanics.
Why the fuck should I care if there was some inter-spiritual orgy in an unknown dimension millennia ago?
Can I spoiler-alert that? No, I can't. The rat-boy doesn't give a damn.
[I hope it doesn't stink.]
[Huh?]
[You'll see.]
As we were preparing to go to the basement with an ominous warning hanging in the air...
[[[[ASTRAD!]]]]
The front door suddenly bursts open with a shove, and a sea of vixens rushes in screaming my name.
[Don't jump on the rat-boy! The rat-boy is still in pain! GYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!]