She then turned her attention to Steve, who had finally stood up. She liked blond, muscular men, but she had always been too shy to talk to them when she was alive. "Sir... do you need a gem upgrade? That one by your foot is the Moratorium. It's perfect for a shield-bearer like you."
Bul-Kathos winced. Lady Tuodeqin's burial site was... under Diablo's throne?
Xiangyi had been a terrifying woman. To drag two corpses into the Burning Hells, bury them under the Lord of Terror's seat while the Seven Evils watched, and then walk back out to go back to work?
"Was Xiangyi a Barbarian?" Bul-Kathos asked, his voice low. That level of rage-fueled power was impressive.
"No? Why would you ask that? Everyone on Xiansai is a Wizard!"
"Are these the prizes?" Steve asked, looking at the glowing loot. His mind was still reeling from Johanna's "Crusader Jokes." It had been mental torture.
A Crusader, a Paladin, and a Templar walk into a bar...
He never expected that the price of the Holy Light was listening to a woman tell incomprehensible "dad jokes" for hours.
"Oh, my Light..." Steve groaned.
Bul-Kathos looked at him oddly. He wondered if Steve had failed his training and accidentally become a Templar. Kormac used to say that phrase in the same tone whenever a recruit got hammered by a demon. Real Crusaders didn't say "Oh, my Light."
"Urshi, I'm leaving. I hope you're still this happy the next time we meet."
Bul-Kathos opened a portal and stepped through. Orek would close the Rift soon, and everyone would be returned to the mountain in thirty minutes.
As Bul-Kathos departed, Bruce Wayne limped into view. He was holding a shattered hand-axe, his cape torn. He had arrived just a moment after the shockwave hit, sustaining some minor injuries.
"A bat?" Urshi whispered. Bruce was handsome, but too brooding for her taste. She liked the "sunny" types.
"Wayne, you were listening for a while, weren't you?" Constantine waved the Zei's Stone at him.
"I felt an overwhelming sense of dread," Bruce said, his voice gravelly. He was still shaking. Even through a wall, Diablo's presence had affected him.
"That stone at your feet is the Molten Wildebeest's Gizzard," Urshi said kindly. "It provides constant regeneration. For a warrior who never sleeps, it's the best help you could ask for."
Back on the summit of Mount Arreat, the atmosphere was somber.
"I remember once, a fellow mistook me for a Templar," Johanna was saying to a group of weary Barbarians. "I asked him, 'Do you ever hear me scream By the Light!?' He said, 'You just did.' He was a clever one. Pity he's dead now."
Bul-Kathos walked out of the portal and caught the tail end of the joke. He looked at Steve, who had just arrived looking like a hollow shell of a man.
"Is everyone back?" Bul-Kathos asked.
The ancestors were silent. The memory of the battle was heavy.
"Cheer up!" Bul-Kathos roared. "Kanai fulfilled his will! Qual-Kehk is finally at peace! Tell me, what is there to be sad about?"
"Bul-Kathos..." Reakor tried to speak, but didn't know how to argue.
"He's right!" Orek chimed in, taking over for the silent Wulrusk. "You gave Baal a thrashing he won't forget! And you sent Tyrael packing! Didn't you see the look on that Archangel's face as he ran?"
No one mentioned Wulrusk. They all knew that with Kanai gone, Wulrusk was the only one left to carry the heavy mantle of the Immortal King.
"Laugh! All of you, laugh!" Orek commanded.
The Barbarians let out dry, hollow laughs that sounded more like wailing. Wulrusk was an unpleasant man, but he was their King.
"Rest for thirty minutes," Bul-Kathos shouted. "Then I will bring this Rift to its final conclusion!"
He glanced at Rorschach, who was covered in scars among the crowd. When this ended, he would let Rorschach try again. This time, Bul-Kathos would be watching from the Immortal Throne.
Meanwhile, in Asgard.
Diablo—the true Lord of Terror, not a phantom—sat upon the throne. He looked across a magical seal at the entity known as Oblivion.
"You let a golden opportunity for destruction slip through your fingers, and now you want me to compensate you?" Diablo asked, his eyes burning with malice.
Oblivion, a cosmic force of the end, actually hesitated. Power-wise, he surpassed Diablo. He could end all things. But in this moment, he felt a flicker of something new: Fear.
"The deal was... you give me Destruction, I kill the Skeleton King," Oblivion said, his power fluctuating to hide his unease.
Diablo wanted to sneer, but he held back. His "toys," the Worthy, were still active. They would buy him the time he needed—especially Coulson, who had managed to win a bit of Bul-Kathos' favor.
Diablo waited with bated breath for the moment Bul-Kathos would be forced to pick up his blades and kill for his convictions once more.
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