Chapter 18
Journey of the Goddess Queen, Part 5
It was pink. The short open back sweetheart dress clung loosely to her frame. For some strange reason, this seemed like a fitting place to wear it. The Sisters of Mercy were everywhere in this place. Still, their numbers were much less than usual. Mercy gingerly stepped forward.
In her... in their hunt for a demon, she stumbled into what remained of an ancient city. It was considered a sacred place; one that humans usually avoid. There was shelter here, but she had no need. The rain cooled her skin, but it was not enough. She felt ill. The attempt to ease the burden of the sisters was too much. Change was not good for her, and it was never easy. She needed a moment. She needed to rest. But how could she. He was so close. She thought. Oh, the pleasure of seeing the Demon with my own eyes. A little more. It is so close. She leaned against the ancient statue. Her eyes closed; the heat from her own body overtook her. She slumped to the ground, and she slept.
She was alone in her mind. She had no memory of when this happened before. She waited for fear to overcome her. But it did not. Through a drunken haze she looked up at the dirty bronze statue above her. She felt curiosity serge through her mind. Who was this man? Then she thought; Mercy does not get curious about such things. Unspoken and hidden in the back of her mind was another thought. Silence? It was good to be alone. She slept.
Much later, she awoke in the arms of her sisters. She was naked and wrapped in the loving embrace of many arms. Passionately, she exhaled. She stretched her limbs and soaked in the ever-encompassing sensation of belonging. She did not need to open her eyes and look at them to see them. They were all still young and beautiful. Soon. Very soon, all the sisters would be young and beautiful. This was the path of Mercy. She had decided.
Later, after the sisters had dressed her; she stood with one hand on the bronze statue. She did not mention her curiosity. She did not speak silently or out loud. The sisters that surrounded her were strong and healthy. Their connection was true. None of them had the need to speak with the voice of a human. So, Mercy stood erect in her pride. Mercy was ready.
She does not need to be there now. Many sisters were already there. With her eyes closed. She studied the small house by the southern wall. It had a building for animals. A large patch of land to grow food. A wall of stack stone passed on one side of it with a large gate made of found things. Many eyes looked upon the strange place. But there was no man, girl, or demon to be found. Had she really slept that long? Was she that ill? She smiled to herself, knowing that these questions did not matter. She was Mercy. She had traveled so far. It was only one week to that stone house. It was time now. She would see it with her own eyes.
Her dress was long, loose fitting and bloodred. Her shoes stolen from one of the last villages they raided; were new. Her eyes were creepy black silver, and somehow her hair seemed to match. She turned to the young lady standing next to her and asked, "Do you know who the statue is supposed to be?"
Silently, the young lady smiled and shook her head 'no.'
"Good. It really doesn't matter anyway. Mercy doesn't get curious about such things." Now, let's go find our demon. Oh, he is so strong, tall, and beautiful. He is so close now. We will go to him. We will make him understand. Be so close as to touch. To hold, to love, and to have.
Many eyes searched for the demon as Mercy marched toward the stone house. She took comfort and pleasure knowing that Mercy never failed. And she was Mercy. He had been watched by many eyes for many days. As Mercy's mind cleared, she realized this. After all, she did the watching. And she was certain the demon was hers.
The gate is open now. She stopped to wonder why that might matter? She shimmied herself close to the corner of the house. One arm moved above her head as she pressed herself against the stonewall. The coolness of the stones soaked through the thin red dress. Stillness came to her. Was it the coolness of the stone? Or was it comfort in knowing she was closer to her demon now? She pressed her other arm and her face against the wall. Oh yes, my demon was here. To be so close. To touch where he has touched. We will be together soon. There is no place he can go; I will not go.
We will follow. I... We have seen where he has gone. Mercy started towards Cana's house. She smiled to herself. Her demon had been watched by many eyes. Her demon had been watched in many places. There was never a time when she did not know where her demon was. All of Mercy was grand and glorious. But unknown to the whole, some of the parts were unique. Hidden from the others, the Goddess-Queen used these sisters. The young strong trackers were sent out as eyes and ears. They would remain hidden until their Goddess-Queen ordered differently. Mercy spoke to the trackers. You must be quiet, dear ones. It is not your task to speak. Others will speak for Mercy. Be silent, listen, and watch my lovely ones. You must resist the urge to touch, to hold, to have a beautiful, tall demon. This can be done. You are strong!
Mercy opened the gates to the wooden fort. She searched through the dogtrot cabin. She scanned the ground for the tracks of the demon, the men, and the girl. "They have gone to the mountain!" Loudly, Mercy shouted. Quickly, she calmed herself down. Oh yes, my beautiful demon plays games with me. So, I will play games with him. We shall have a race. We shall see who wins. Mercy is also strong, glorious, grand, loving, and beautiful.
A warm wind rose blowing her hair back. She stood on the rim. The canyon was shallow. It would be easy to cross. But there would be more ahead. She stood as cold and frozen as the brass statue she once passed. She watched through the eyes of the others. The Demon was on a path? An ancient trail? He travels to a place, a particular place? Sadly, she thought. Does my demon run away from me? I will not give up. I will not be beaten. He will know that I am worthy.
Another canyon appeared before her. She wondered why her demon sang about crossing the land of planting. 'Through the valleys he knows to the place the mountain show.' Maybe my demon just tries to make the other human things happy? Blah, blah, blah... 'Cross a canyon. Cross a canyon. Cross a canyon.' These human things speak a lot of nonsense. I don't think they understand themselves. Mercy continued to mock them for a few seconds. This amused her until it didn't. Suddenly, the mocking of humans sickened her. She did not know the reason why. They. She did not wonder about such things. She was content in letting the humans behave like things. Besides, while the human things sit and sing with my demon; I will cross the next canyon. I will be closer to my demon. My demon will learn that he cannot run away. Mercy does not give up.
Through one of the trackers, Mercy heard the travelers. "The carved crosses and the arrows will lead you on your way. I'm sorry, my little warrior, but I am still needed out here. And the old man can go no further. The air grows too thin. Besides me and the old man must stay to stop any creatures from following. Know that we will do almost anything to keep you safe. Runner will show you the way. He will walk beside you and protect you. Know this, I will always remember you with much love. Goodbye, my little warrior."
Mercy had no knowledge of what would happen next between her demon and the human. Possibly, she just did not understand what it meant to be human.
Mercy spoke out loud, "Yes, I believe the human things are losing their mind. Well, if they truly ever had a mind. Why would anything waste time talking about moons, air, crosses and ways?" She did not understand the meaning or the words that were said, and she really didn't want to know. At times, she just liked to hear herself speak. Especially when something troubled her. The mountain loomed above her. The only way through was by narrow canyons. With each step forward, her sisters grew anxious. Mercy grew more anxious. In their memory, none of Mercy had come to this place before. And soon it would be very hard to hide.
Every move Mercy took towards the mountain grew harder. The sisters that followed the travelers became harder to hear. And with each step their fear grew. Mercy could not grasp the anxiety that came from nowhere. But soon it would not matter. In a day, she would be with her demon. The sisters did not need to continue; she would do that herself. She continued to walk forward. Slowly and calmly, the sisters fell back to the southern wall. The haze that formed in her mind did not matter. She was Mercy. She was knowledge, beauty, glory and honor. She was all.
Cross, cross, arrow. Went through her mind. She did not know what this meant, but it concerned her greatly. She turned the corner of the canyon. Excitement grew within her. She whispered to herself, "It is them." The thoughts in her mind whirled around. Oh, my beloved. I have found you. We have one of our games. I must... We must... The world began to fade. Her left hand reached for the travelers. She could see it tremble. She fought to steady herself as she forcefully pulled herself back into this world. She never noticed that she could no longer hear her sisters.
The blackness that had surrounded her passed. She felt her right-hand as it rested on the cool hardness of granite. She realized the canyon wall had held her up. She turned to see the hole where her fingers had grasped. She observed the ancient carved X in the stone. She murmured, "A cross. A cross in the stone."
She knew this place. It was a place with no memory. It was a place she did not wish to go. A place she did not wish to be. It was not a place for Mercy. She slid down the granite wall and curled up in a small ball on the ground. Oh, my beloved, I have won the race. I have found you, and I have lost you. Now, what am I to do? How dare you run to the one place I will not go.
She forced herself to her hands and knees. She lifted her head to see her beloved demon. Blackness was all she saw. She stared into what she could only call nothingness. She had reached the edge of her world. The place that did not exist. This was a place beyond the gate. It was not for Mercy. For a moment, it seemed the loss of her world, and loss of her demon would overcome her. Mercy would not, could not allow this. She would join the sisters in the south. She turned her back on her beloved demon. She crawled on her hands and knees away from her greatest desire. She would return to the place where she was Mercy the Goddess-Queen. She repeated to herself. My beloved will not forsake me. My beloved will come to me. My beloved will not forsake me. My beloved will come to me. My beloved will not forsake me. My beloved will come to me... Mercy dragged herself out of the darkness, and she finished with, "I have proven that I am worthy. My beloved demon will come for me." She staggered toward the South. She instinctively traveled toward the voices of her sisters.
Even when Mercy was preoccupied, the trackers did not forget their mission. They hid on the edge of the world and waited for the quarry to return.
Pop. Thump. Her sister fell. She heard one voice say, "I don't like the sneaky ones."
"Look there is another one hiding." The second sister heard. Pop. Thump.
Another sister listened. "I grow tired of all this killing. I think I'm going to go back to the little house and grow plants."
The sister heard a second voice. "Yes, hunting for food is much better than hunting for people; even if, they are creatures."
"Still, I think it would be best if we just killed all the creatures in this area."
"Yes, at least until we get back to the wood fort."
"We will most certainly be sick of death by then."
"Yes. Yes, we will."
As the sisters followed the two voices, the world slowly returned to them. Sights and sounds followed by the voices of the other sisters. All is Mercy. Mercy is love, glory, honor, beauty, and bliss. Sisters should never be alone. Each part is of the one. Mercy is the one.
The water rushed by the creature. The water in the Little River was cold. Mercy did not mind the cold, but she no longer needed it. She had recovered from her fatigue. She bathed in the river in anticipation of the demon returning to her. They had watched him walk out of the mountains. They had seen him stay with the useless old man. They knew that he cared for his sick old animal. She had even watched him bury it. Her demon no longer ran. It no longer killed. When a sister spoke the word 'mercy'. It walked away. It no longer killed us. Soon the sisters will be ready. Soon, Mercy herself would be ready. She watched him with her own eyes.
He was watched by many eyes. He was watched for much time. The eyes were Mercy's eyes, and the time was hers. They... She watched until she was sure she knew what he was. She had found her beloved.