'It's been a while since someone didn't seem afraid of me…' I think as the blonde girl wipes away the remaining tears with the back of her hands.
"Do you remember me? We're in the same classroom," I ask her, receiving a confirming nod.
"You sit in the seat next to mine!" She says excitedly.
"My name is Himiko Toga!"
"I'm Ken Kaneki, nice to meet you, Toga."
She nods enthusiastically, then her yellow eyes nervously turn toward the dead bird on the ground.
"Are you… like me?" Toga asks as she interlaces her fingers, fidgeting uncomfortably with the hem of her uniform, struggling against her anxiety.
"You mean… liking blood?" She nods timidly in confirmation, still avoiding my gaze.
"Yes."
I see her behavior change once again into something much more cheerful and lively.
She jumps at me and gives me a hug, sniffing a little. I'm somewhat lost due to the sudden contact, but I return the hug.
"I never thought I'd find someone like me… sniff"
Realizing her actions, Toga hops back with flushed cheeks. She then bows slightly and apologizes.
"It's alright. Do you want to talk under the shade of that other tree?" I ask, wanting to put some distance between us and the bird's corpse, which has been causing me some instability.
Walking toward the other tree beside Toga makes me reflect on how children in this world, or future, are much smarter and sharper, despite still being naive and innocent.
"So… were you also put into personality counseling?" Under the other tree, Toga asks in a sad tone, intertwining her small hands.
"Personality counseling?"
"You don't do it? Your parents didn't put you there?"
"I'm an orphan. The caretakers never put me into anything like that, nor the other children…"
Toga looks surprised, and after I ask her to explain more about this so-called personality counseling, I start to feel suspicious about it.
"So they told you to suppress your desires and blend in? Even if you practically have to pretend to be someone else?" My eyes widen when Toga confirms it. What the hell kind of program is that?
In a context where most people have Quirks, don't choose what they're born with, and sometimes suffer effects they can't control… forcing someone to do this is downright disturbing…
"I never told anyone that I have a desire for blood… but even other children at the orphanage with dangerous Quirks and behaviors don't receive this kind of treatment, Toga…"
I remember one of the few children who seems afraid of me, or at least hides it very well. She's a little girl with a fire-controlling Quirk.
She has some pyromaniac habits; she really enjoys watching fire burn things. The caretakers keep an eye on her, but they don't stop her from making some controlled, harmless bonfires.
Toga seems surprised that I hid my desire for blood, and even more so by the situation of the other children.
"But… they told me I had a perverse behavior… and that it needed to be fixed…"
"Toga… who told you that?"
"My parents."
My heart tightens when I hear those words.
What kind of parents say things like that to their own daughter? She would suppress that desire throughout her entire childhood and adolescence, what would happen if she couldn't endure it anymore and it exploded? Especially a desire for blood, which I know distorts thoughts in disturbing ways.
"Uh… Kaneki-kun?" Her voice pulls me out of my thoughts.
"Yes, Toga-chan?"
"How did you deal with your desire for blood?"
"I've been drinking my own blood in secret. It doesn't help much, but it keeps me under control for a while."
"Oh… I tried that too… but it didn't work" She pouts.
"Do you want to drink mine?" I ask her.
"Ehh?! Is that really okay?!" Her cheeks turn red and her eyes widen, shining brightly.
"Mhm." I glance around, no one in the park besides the two of us.
I look at my arm. Normally, I'd just bite myself, but letting her do it feels… a bit too intimate. So I release a single Kagune tentacle, having already retracted my Koukaku. I make a cut on my arm, not letting it regenerate, and allow the blood to drip.
Toga looks like she wants to ask about my Kagune, but the falling blood captures her attention in a hypnotizing way. She tries to say something, but the desire is stronger. Without touching her mouth to my arm, she drinks the blood with a dazed expression.
When she seems satisfied, I let the wound heal. She licks her lips and says with a smile,
"So sweet~ Thank you, Kaneki-kun."
Then she imitates my movement and stretches out her arm.
"Here, it's only fair that you drink mine too!" My eyes widen slightly.
"But you'll get hurt, Toga-chan—" Before I can continue protesting, Toga opens a cut on her arm using my own Kagune.
'When did she grab it? And why didn't my Kagune retract when she held it? Oh…' My eyes lock onto the blood dripping from her arm.
I swallow hard and start drinking, also without touching her arm… the sweet taste fills my mouth, completely different from drinking my own blood.
When I finish drinking, I see her wound heal, much slower than mine, but still fairly fast.
"So?… Does it taste good?" she asks, pulling me out of my stupor.
"It's sweet and smooth… it's good," I say as I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.
She giggles and sits down on the grass. I sit beside her.
"I feel much better," Toga sighs in relief.
"Yeah…" I agree. Not having that constant hammering urge to drink blood is an enormous relief.
"Kaneki-kun… can we be friends?"
"Friends…?" For a moment, that word feels strange to me, but soon an unexpected warmth fills my chest.
"Of course. I'd love that, Toga-chan."
Toga wears a radiant, genuine smile on her face, not hiding her teeth like she does at school, and probably even at home.
I smile back at her, both of us showing our fangs under the comforting shade of the tree, both feeling a weight lifted from our shoulders.
"Ah!" she exclaims, remembering what she wanted to ask. "That tentacle is your Quirk, Kaneki-kun?"
"It is." I release the four tentacles of my Kagune, and she watches them in fascination.
"It's called Kagune. I can also make a tougher one on my arms." I retract my Rinkaku and release my Koukaku in a form resembling a massive spear on my arm.
'It looks stronger than before…' I think as I observe the healthier shape of my Koukaku.
"That's so cool! Mine is Transformation. I can transform into the people whose blood I drink."
"Oh! That's cool too. So you can turn into me?"
"Yes! But… I end up without clothes when I return to normal, so I can't show it, hehe." She scratches her cheek, a bit embarrassed.
"Oh, that's a rather peculiar side effect…"
We keep talking for a while, until Toga remembers the time. I walk her home, then head back to the orphanage, having to deal with the director's questions about where I had been until now.