Numidia, Valentina and Lilia: "I am told that I am greatly selfish if I done't help my mother with her 4 kids cook and clean.
I am told that it is okay to clean after my sister who never cleans behind her.
I am told that I am selfish and don't think about precious father that if I don't pay one of my siblings share of rent every month, cause he struggles with psychological problems that I struggled my entire life, and that one saw as serious.
I am told by my dear sister who wouldn't hesitate to throw me to any kind of exhausting and disgusting jobs that I am a tramp if I ever dare to light this cigarette in front of you respectable and exquisite people.
I am told by my sister and my mother about how useless, uncompetante, oh sorry only competant when it comes to housework I am.
Which now make sense when I think about how much I'll be scholded and receive my mother's rage when something wasn't clean, or when guests or people would come and I would dare to do something, or even speak in away that would displease her.
But oh I do remember receiving an amazing compliment from her when I, absolutely did nothing that she saw as wrong, you see, I brought the cakes, the beverages perfetcly well at the perfect time, and I didn't say a word, during their whole conversation, except when I was asked how I was doing.
Well at the end of this little cafe she came to me and said:
"You see? When you listen to me people love you and appreciate you"
And immediately I felt such....a huge void within my heart and a little voice that echoed saying that I would have loved her to love me and appreciate me.
Even there, her love and appreciation wasn't completely earned, but partially thanks to what people think about me, thanks to the nice feedbacks she got back from them. So thanks to some of you that day, I was almost able to earn my mother's love that I so long yearned for.
So many of you that are gathered here, are either yearning for the man or woman they are in love with, well I don't and that what makes me different from you again fine people, is that I yearned for the kind of love that I should have received since I was conceived.