Even though it was the smallest private room in the hotel, it still felt far too large for just four people.
"As a side note, is it really alright for you to celebrate your birthday with us?" Asakura asked Ayase with concern.
"Could it be that Asakura-nii doesn't want to celebrate my birthday?" Ayase looked as though she was about to burst into tears.
"No, I mean," Asakura scratched his head, explaining with a bit of helplessness under the wary glare of Kirino, who was looking at him as if he were some homewrecker blonde guy, "shouldn't this kind of day be spent with family?"
"My parents are both quite busy with work..." The young girl revealed a gentle smile, though that smile was carrying a somewhat bitter taste, "Usually they won't specifically come home just for my birthday."
"What on earth! Ayase, you're just far too sensible. At times like this, even if you have to be a little willful, you should demand that they celebrate your birthday together!"
Kirino voiced her grievances on behalf of her friend.
"Thank you, Kirino, but it's really alright. Mom and Dad's jobs are both very important... and I've already grown used to it."
"Ayase..."
Kirino bit her lip, her expression looking a bit sad.
Is this person really someone who possesses that much empathy? Asakura muttered to himself in his heart.
"Don't make that kind of expression, I'm really not sad at all. Besides, it's not like they forgot my birthday, they just truly don't have time. They will still prepare a birthday gift or something for me."
Ayase turned things around to comfort her instead.
Kirino let out a sigh.
"But it's far too quiet with just the few of us... Stupid big brother, liven up the atmosphere already!"
"Huh? Isn't this demand a bit too much of an ordeal for someone?" Kyousuke looked completely put out.
"Do your best." Asakura gave him a thumbs-up: "I'm looking forward to your—one-shot gag!"
"What do you mean one-shot gag, hey! It's already hard enough trying to heat up the atmosphere, don't casually increase the difficulty level for me as if it's nothing!"
"Does Kosaka-nii know a one-shot gag too? Then I'll be looking forward to it." Ayase smiled faintly, pressing her hands together as she looked at him expectantly: "Is it a no-go?"
"...Damn it, how can a man say no at a time like this!"
Although Kyousuke felt that Ayase was simply being mischievous and following along with Asakura's words, it was still better to try a one-shot gag than to let her remain immersed in that kind of somber atmosphere from just now.
"When normal people go home, it's returning home, but when a frog goes home, it's 'Kaeru-home' (Note)."
Asakura & Ayase: "..."
"...Big brother."
"What's wrong, Kirino?"
"Please maintain a distance of about ten meters from me from now on."
"Why?! Does that mean I can't even stay in the private room and have to go outside to eat all by myself?!"
"It's fine, big brother." Kirino's tone became slightly gentler.
"Ki—Kirino..." Kyousuke only then let out a sigh of relief, realizing his younger sister was probably just jok—
"I won't let you take even a single grain of rice."
"Not only are you isolating me, but you won't even give me food?!"
Whose younger sister is this cold-blooded? Oh, she's mine, then never mind.
Kyousuke slumped his head in dejection.
"Who told you to tell such a tasteless corny joke! I've got goosebumps all over!" The young girl said in dissatisfaction.
"Suddenly making someone do a one-shot gag out of nowhere, there's no way anyone could achieve it... It's not like I'm an idol or something..."
Kyousuke muttered reluctantly.
Kirino looked toward Asakura: "Asakura... san," it was obvious she was completely unaccustomed to calling Asakura by his name; after all, when they interacted before, this guy always seemed to just call her 'hey'. It seemed that in front of Ayase, she still knew to put on appearances, "Do you know a one-shot gag?"
"Yeah."
"See, Asakura doesn't know either..." Before Kyousuke could finish his sentence, he realized something was wrong, and his eyes instantly went wide as he looked at Asakura with a gaze as if he were looking at a traitor.
"While I wouldn't call myself an expert, if it's just performing for a Muggle, I can still manage quite a few one-shot gags."
Asakura added.
"As expected of Asakura-nii!" Ayase said happily.
And so Kirino looked at her older brother with a gaze that grew even more full of disdain.
"Then do it quickly, a one-shot gag! My frog joke won't lose!" Kyousuke egged him on loudly.
"Enough, your face is already that smooth... average, don't go exposing the ugliness of your inner heart too!" Kirino stopped him.
"...Kirino, were you just trying to say my face is ridiculous?"
"Broadly speaking, ridiculous is a positive term, you know."
"But in terms of physical appearance, it's a negative term, right!"
"Big brother, when you look for a job in the future, maybe you can join a circus."
"Don't just go making me a clown on your own authority, hey!"
Kyousuke protested flusteredly.
Asakura looked at him, and after giving it some serious thought, spoke up in a loud and clear voice.
"Ran Ran Ru!"
"That's not a clown, that's Ronald McDonald! Is this your one-shot gag!"
"Of course not, it's just a warmup."
"The moment you warmed up, it could no longer be counted as a one-shot gag; at most, it's just a 'two-shot gag'!"
Kyousuke complained.
"You're actually pretty sharp-tongued, even though you look completely spineless when facing your younger sister."
"...I am not a siscon."
"I haven't even said anything yet."
"Tch, was that a feint to trick information out of me?"
"No, you're simply exposing yourself out of nowhere."
As Asakura spoke, he looked around, and then asked Ayase: "Can I borrow that for a moment?"
The young girl looked in the direction he was pointing and discovered that what was placed there was a cone-shaped party hat made of cardboard and plush pom-poms, which came as a free gift with a cake purchase.
And so Asakura unhurriedly picked up that tiny party hat, tinkered with it for a short while, and pulled an unpainted Meruru figure out of the hat, which did not look like it had a large capacity at all.
"How was this managed?" Kyousuke was dumbfounded—no matter how one looked at it, that twenty-centimeter-tall figure did not look like something that could be stuffed into a party hat that wasn't even ten centimeters tall; by the same token, that thing did not look like something that could be stuffed into a sleeve either.
Where on earth did he pull that figure out from?
"A Meruru figure I've never seen before... how is that possible, I've clearly collected every single Meruru figure on the market, even those bootleg prize figures were bought at a high price..."
Kirino looked at the figure itself in disbelief: "This color, is it a garage kit prototype? The face is also a bit strange, not quite the same as a normal Meruru figure. Could it be a newly regulated figure whose project hasn't been announced yet?" As she spoke, her expression turned from astonishment to absolute drooling—to be perfectly honest, it did not look like an expression a beautiful girl should make at all...
But Asakura's performance was not over. After that, he continued to pull figures of other characters from the Meruru anime out of the party hat.
Meanwhile, Kyousuke suddenly realized something after Asakura pulled out the figure of Meruru's rival, Thanatos.
He first looked at the faces of the several figures, then suddenly looked toward his younger sister and Ayase, and finally said in disbelief: "Th—this is..."
"It's a one-shot gag," Asakura said.
"No, no, no, this is already far beyond the level of a one-shot gag, isn't it?"
"It's just a magic trick, Asakura-nii is very good at this sort of thing." Ayase thought Kyousuke had noticed something wrong, so she instinctively covered for Asakura.
"Ayase, haven't you noticed yet?" Kyousuke asked in return.
"Noticed what?" Ayase was taken aback.
And Kirino, after receiving her older brother's reminder, instantly snapped out of her state of 'seeing a bunch of figure prototypes I've never seen before, I'm so happy~'. She carefully looked at the faces of the figures, and then she too revealed an astonished look.
"Thanatos's face looks so much like Ayase! Alpha also looks a bit like a childhood version of Kitagawa, and the Queen of Nightmare also has that black appearance... Wait, this character isn't from Meruru, is it?"
"No, that's not the point. The point is for you to look at Meruru's face, Kirino," Kyousuke said.
"Hmm, it looks a bit familiar, but I can't remember whose face it is..."
"It's your face! This guy directly put your face onto Meruru!"
"What?! It's actually my face? Wow..."
"Wow, Kirino, don't be angry, Asakura probably didn't do it on purpose either..."
"This is amazing!"
"Eh?"
"It feels exactly like I've entered Meruru's world myself! I'm so happy!"
"..."
Kyousuke began to seriously consider whether he should apply to join a circus after graduation.
Ayase, on the other hand, blushed deeply upon seeing the figure of the character Asakura had made that featured her face.
"C—could it be that Asakura-nii wants to see me wearing th—this kind of shameless clothing?" she asked Asakura softly, looking bashful and timid.
"Not really," Asakura replied, "It's just the character design... besides, there doesn't seem to be any other character that fits you particularly well, Ayase, since all the other characters are flat-chested."
He sighed, "I originally wanted to assign a character to Saori too, but I couldn't find a suitable one at all..."
"...Who are all these people?"
Ayase asked as if nothing out of the ordinary were happening.
"Otaku friends. In short, they are the people who were around Kirino when you ran into her last time," Asakura explained, "Although some of them look a bit strange, I can guarantee that they are all good people."
"Then the 'Saori' you mentioned, Asakura-nii, is she that one—" The young girl gestured a curvy 'out-in-out' shape with her hands in the air, "The one wearing tight clothes that are clearly a size too small, also sporting a cat tail, and looking rather glamorous and aggressive?"
"No, that's the victim."
"Then is it that one with golden twin-tails, wearing a school swimsuit in the middle of a crowd, and looking like a pervert who could burst into tears at any moment?"
"No, that's the culprit."
"..."
Ayase looked at Asakura with a suspicious gaze, her face completely reading, 'Are you sure you haven't mixed up the culprit and the victim?'
She recalled carefully once more, unable to help feeling a bit puzzled.
"But after ruling out those two people, isn't the only one left that large individual wearing a dorky plaid shirt, carrying a hiking backpack, wearing thick, bottle-bottom glasses, and not even putting on makeup?"
After all, apart from this person, Ruri and Marin had already appeared as figures.
"Exactly, that's her."
"..."
There was no danger; the misunderstanding was cleared.
And so, the young girl revealed a sweet smile once again.
"By the way, since we can't invite your school classmates because of Kirino, how about we invite the members of the 'Otaku Girls Unite' community over for a meal instead? That way, Ayase, you can interact with everyone closely and get a sense of things, and you'll feel more at ease letting them interact with little Kirino in the future, won't you?"
Asakura spoke up as if he had just thought of something.
"Kirino-chan?" As it turned out, Ayase didn't seem to hear anything else, but instead reacted to the meaningless nickname, "Asakura-nii and Kirino... are quite close, aren't they?"
"It's just a nickname, a nickname. Most people have nicknames when surfing the web; they don't go around using their real names," Asakura explained.
"Is that so~"
Ayase's tone instantly smoothed out a lot.
"Are we calling everyone over?" Kyousuke asked Asakura, "But Ayase doesn't know any of them. Won't that make her feel a bit uncomfortable? Isolating Ayase on her own birthday would be far too bizarre."
"Ruri... Kuroneko aside for now, Saori and Kitagawa are both good people, so it shouldn't be an issue, right?"
"That's not a question of whether they are good people or not, is it?"
"Then tell me, what is the issue?"
"It should be something more fundamental, something more important..."
"What?"
"In short, is there really no issue?" Kyousuke asked in return.
"Is there an issue?" Asakura pressed further.
"Fair point."
Even though he had only met her once or twice, Saori's gentle personality had already left a deep impression on Kyousuke.
If anything, being wedged between two sharp-tongued individuals like Kuroneko and his own younger sister—constantly being roasted by both of them simultaneously while harboring absolutely zero resentment toward them—was enough proof of how strong Saori's inner heart truly was.
"Then what do you think, Ayase?"
After successfully persuading Kyousuke, Asakura finally spoke to the birthday girl.
As mentioned before, Kuroneko and the others were closely tied to Kirino. Given her personality, she would definitely agree in order to keep tabs on any unstable elements around Kirino—
"No need," the girl simply smiled brightly, "I still think it's enough with just the four of us, exactly as it is now."
"Eh?"
"As long as Asakura-nii is here, I won't feel lonely at all."
Note: In Japanese, the word for "frog" is kaeru (カエル), and the verb "to return/go home" is also kaeru (帰る). Kyousuke's joke relies on this exact phonetic overlap ("Kaeru ga kaeru"), making it a text-book example of a dajare (a traditional Japanese dad joke or corny pun).
The humor doesn't come from the joke itself being witty, but rather from how flat it falls in the room, causing the characters to react with complete silence and second-hand embarrassment.