"Ruis."
~ I never wanted to be a slum rat.
He turned around to see a projection of his memories. There his mother was alive yet was sick, lying on bed.
He remembered this, very well, these days. How could he forget? These days were the last days of his mother.
"I will become stronger, mother."
His tired eyes saw his younger one mumbling. Whose eyes were steaming with rage, ambition, many emotions which couldn't be said.
"I'll become strong by power. I'll become strong enough, so that no one can mock us, hurt us, and dare to stand in our way. If someone did, I'll crush them with my power."
"Forst."
His mother put her skinny pale hand over his head. He didn't say anything but his eyes seemed disgusted by that name.
"The more you crush others with your power. The more it'll crush you from inside."
He went quiet, turning his head down. His hair over his eyes hide that they're still seething. His mother let out a faint smile, brushing his hair over his ear.
"Power does only one thing for the long term."
She spoke in a relaxed tone, yet he was eager to know what she'll say next.
"The higher you climb the higher it. The more lonely you become, even when you're surrounded by your people."
He bit his lips, then slowly tilted his head.
"I'll cure you mother, I'll cure your sickness. Just stay a bit longer. I promise."
She smiled, he too, did smile. But in his mind...
He didn't care about so-called 'your people'. He just wanted one thing to resolve right now.
"Which had slipped away from us."
The projection in front of him disappeared into dust. It was a bright, white room. With nothing else in it. He turned around slowly.
It was another self of him standing there, same features yet there was a difference.
He had been wearing a cheap outfit, his fingers had some dust and mud on them.
"What do we want now?"
Ruis didn't reply; his brow furrowed, a deep crease forming between his narrowed eyes.
"What do we want now, Forst?"
"I hate that name, yet it's sticking to my existence like a leech."
"You hate it because it denotes your truth? How funny... He was right. You choose delusions over truth everytime."
Forst knew who 'he', his other self was referring to, he knew him very well.
Suddenly his other self started disappearing to stardust, he didn't say anything but his self stared at him with an inscrutable smile.
"If we meet our father, will you kill him?"
Forst paused, his breath hitched, but at last he finally uttered. His voice penetrated the white void.
"I don't consider someone my father I haven't seen... and I'll definitely kill him."
"Then who's your father? Are you telling me you're a heaven's child?"
His other self disappeared into thin air, still smiling while leaving the dust particles behind. Forst turned his head down to the great endless white void.
Then he began walking, walking endlessly.
~ I have sinned.
His footsteps started appearing with fresh blood.
~ I'm not who I thought myself to be.
Walking endlessly while leaving red patches of blood behind. He had indeed, killed. He shouldn't go to heaven and heaven's child was just ridiculous.
~ But I wanted to be that person, though I knew it could never happen.
Out of blue, he heard a low voice penetrating to his ears, glancing at where it was coming from, his eyes widened and his face softened.
It was a projection of her with him. The time they had spent together while going to college. Everywhere.
~ Sometimes I'm scared that someone as pure as her will be ruined by me.
He looked at the projection of Sara along with him fading away, after this, the white void began collapsing. Ruis fell to the endless pit of darkness.
Despite all this, he was calm. Very calm.
~ I guess I'll live in a delusion where I can be who I want to be.
***
"Wake up."
"Hey! It's already 12! Get your ass off!"
Hearing someone shouting, possibly at him. He opens his woozy eyes. It was her, Sara, standing before him. Sprouting some nonsense swears at him.
~ Am I still dreaming?
He mindlessly stared at her, astonished.
"Ehhh?"
Letting out a groan, while wordlessly staring at her. Her temper settled down. She had clenched her fists, and was probably about to hit him in any other passing second.
He scanned his surroundings, it was a well furnished room with two beds. The other bed was empty and tidily neat.
"Even Zack has woken up earlier before you."
"My bad, was tired from yesterday."
She gritted her teeth before saying.
"Get up, they're calling for breakfast."
This time she spoke with a change of tone.
"I don't want one."
She got puzzled, of course this was new for her. Even though she knew they didn't need food to survive. It was just an act to remind them, their humanity.
She didn't say anything, instead began grumbling something which he couldn't decipher and went out.
After she had left, he stared at the ceiling of the room. Lost in his swirling thoughts, which were flowing in his mind like a river.
Then abruptly he found himself gripping his hairs, quite vigorously. Exhausted with the overwhelming thoughts spawning in his head which were flowing randomly.
"Enough!"
His scream silenced them all at once. But it was too silent now, rather than usual. Still, he didn't care and rose up from the bed.
...
It was noon, the sun had risen on its peak. Even so, it was still remarkably cool here.
"Come on! Take some more!"
Fiona was giving some biscuits to Azon, who had already had enough with them. They're in the dining room, sitting on the couch alongside each other.
There was some tea resting on a wooden table, particularly for them.
"You have taken good care while we're gone."
Azon spoke with a pleasant tone. Like if impressed by the condition of his home.
"Ah, it's nothing! While you were gone, I spent all my day either cleaning and sweeping or going outside to get some fresh air and roaming around the market."
Azon nodded subconsciously while sipping some tea.
"So how's the mistress?"
Her tone changed to something curious.
"All good. Busy with her experiments as usual."
"Hahaha, she's just like before, isn't she?"
Azon gave a lazy nod, observing the room while taking some sips. Then he declared with a resolute voice.
"I'll take them for a walk in the evening, we can come late, even past midnight."
"Oh... I see, are you going to take the keys with you too?"
He puts his hand on his coat's pockets, rummaging then taking out the keys. After showing them to her. He gets up from the couch, before leaving the room.
***
Zack was standing on the balcony of the house. Watching the beautiful view of flower pots settled here. There were many kinds he didn't even know the names of, yet he could only admire it.
Admiring the beauty of nature. He stared at those white lilies, next he gradually moved his arm towards it. But when he was about to touch it. He pulled it back.
Scratching his neck while shifting his gaze to look at somewhere else, he heard a familiar voice.
"Looking around?"
He glanced to see Lisa, her lips curled over to her usual, playful smirk.
She crossed her arms and leaned against the limestone wall, watching the beautiful set of flower pots. Zack pressed his warm palms flat against the cool, smooth concrete pavers of the balcony.
Watching the streets and shops. Lisa began humming before going to flowers, she sat on a wooden stool, brushing her fingers over the flowers.
To not make things awkward, Zack said in a low voice.
"Did Mr. Azon say when we will go?"
"Evening."
She was focused on smelling the graceful scent of flowers. Zack stretches his arm before leaving. But when he was about to leave.
"Have you cleared your mind?"
Surprised by this unexpected question when he was a few cemeteries away from the opened door.
"About what?"
She stands up, turning around him. Her gaze is unusually serious.
"Anne."
She reminded him. Reminded him what he was trying his best to forget.
Zack's lips quivered, he looked down and glared on his empty palms.
~ Why?
His body unconsciously did a jerk, as he fell to his one knee. His other knee, which was shaking tremendously, held him from not getting apart.
~ W– Why can't I experience things the way I want to?
At this moment, they come again, striking him like lightning.
– B e c a u s e y o u a r e c u r s e d.
"Zack?"
He turned his head to the opened door. To see a girl standing all confused, she had dark brown hairs with amber pearls.
Yet his eyes quaked, his iris began expanding; and at last his jaw dropped.
He didn't know why, but at this moment. He felt an intense fear, intense fear from her. It wasn't because she did something.
Yet parts of his soul and his body were terrified by her mere presence. By her mere existence.
– B y h e r.
"AGHHH!"
Using everything he can, his hands, his legs. He crawls backwards, anything to get away from her. His screams reached the entire street.
Hearing the screams beyond horror, Sara came sprinting and put her hand over his mouth.
"It's okay."
"It's okay."
"You're safe."
Misha and Lisa were absolutely stunned by this scene. Both of them didn't know what to say or do, they could just watch the scene like viewers.
Sara looked towards both of them, her expression changed from what it was before.
"What happened?"
"W– We... did nothing."
Lisa stuttered, while trying to defend herself.
"And are you expecting me to believe this bullshit?"
She tried her best to maintain her composure.
"I– I don't know. He was about to leave but then freaked out like crazy as soon as he saw her."
Sara glared at Misha, she pondered and paused before making her reply.
"I'm not aware of anything that has happened here. When I came here, he was sitting on his knee, shivering, then crying out seeing me."
Silence shrouded them like a blanket, until the one to break it wasn't here before.
"What went wrong?"
Ruis appeared with Ender behind him. Both went startled seeing Zack's state, who had his mouth opened now that he was controlled.
Gasping for air, his eyes locked on the floor.
His iris was abruptly expanded.
They all had never seen him this scared. And that was the truth.
"Take him to his bed."
Astonishingly they were Ender words. Yet the group didn't bother to think about it, because what he said was right.
Moments Later...
Zack was lying on bed, sleeping yet still shivering. The sudden shock had become quite worse.
Fiona was checking his condition.
"He had suffered from a severe shock, not just his physical body but his entire soul is sinking deeply because of extreme pain."
Everyone was here, many emotions were flowing over their face, some had just masked it better than others.
Azon, who was standing on a corner, witnessing all of this, spoke mechanically.
"This only happens when someone is reminded of their deepest, most buried guilt."
"Do we need to cancel our plan?"
It was Sara who asked him, yet Azon still grunted.
"If one pawn falls doesn't mean you're done. You still have many more to go."
Everyone went silent hearing his answer, Azon went outside, standing before the room. He called, not looking at them.
"Let's get going, Fiona will take care of him."