Alex's POV:
My head was hurting when I woke up.
The last remember, I was going to talk to the prince and princess, and then.
"Pft! HAHAHAHAHA! *Cough* Ugh! *Giggle* My throat hurts!"
I could feel my throat tearing as I laughed at what little I remembered before blacking out.
"Hm? So, you finally woke up, former head chef Aoi?" a prison guard said.
I was currently in a dirty prison cell, wearing some flimsy handcuffs on my arms and legs designed for cultivators.
"That's former, royal supreme chef to you! Also, can I ask when and how my execution is going to be held?" I asked.
If I had to guess, I lost control and laughed in the emperor's face, before getting knocked out and dragged to the dungeon. Even for your regular royalty, for a former slave like me to laugh in the face of the emperor could be grounds for execution, and this imperial family is even more prideful and unreasonable than most. So, I am positive they have already decided to kill me. The way to get out of it though, will depend on what torture and execution methods they have decided on. Which is what I am trying to confirm now.
"Hmph!" The guard only looked disgruntled at me before turning to look at something going on a little further down the hall, a little out of view from my cell.
As an elf, I possess better hearing than regular humans, and thanks to my experience from my time under my master, even with the fake skin that covers and smushes my ears into the shape of a human's, I can make out what's going on. Based on the volume of what sound like someone banging on metal, and what I could make out from all of them talking at the same time. It seems we have been locked inside the dungeon, and the guards, or whoever they are, is trying to force open the dungeon doors. Which actually might be a good thing.
"We're *cough* we're locked in, right?"
"Hm? Didn't you just wake up? How did-?"
*thud*
"Just had to be sure!" I said, after knocking him unconscious with the lightning enchanted needle I hid in my mouth for just these kinds of situations.
Most of my hidden weapons seem to have been confiscated at some point, but the ones hidden inside my body have been left alone thankfully. I once called my master crazy for hiding sharp objects in her body, and while the number, size, and the places she hid them in, still makes that true, I have learned over the last couple of years the importance of having tools that are not so easily taken away upon capture.
"Still! I think shoving a bunch of explosive needles up your own ass is a bit much! Just one malfunction in their enchantments, or an accidental mana spike in that area of your body, and you die! Not to mention all the holes in her colon she could have poked every time she moved!" I complained to myself.
Master had a lot of health issues dating back to before I met her, some of which were self-inflicted from her taking crazy risks, like hiding lethal and volatile weapons inside her own body, out of paranoia. Though, to be fair, many of her paranoid delusions ended up coming true in the end, it caused me no end to the grief I suffered trying to talk some sense into her back then. Unfortunately, she would never listen once her mind was made up, and if there was one thing she wouldn't budge on, it was that her own life was the most expendable thing she had to lose.
I still remember how she killed her first dragon. It's scales and flesh had been too thick for her weapons to do any lethal damage, so she just decided to climb it as it flew into the air, cut a few holes in its wings to make it fall to the ground, before she jumped down its throat to use it's fleshy insides as a cushion and started hacking away at its vitals while slathered in flesh melting acid. By the time she made it back out, there were bald spots in her head with burns, one of her fingers melted off and, if not for the highly resistant Arachne bandages covering most of her body she probably would have lost more. Yet, instead of worrying about the loss of a finger, becoming a dragon slayer, or the fact that she nearly died, she was more worried the noble who forcefully conscripted us and many others into this dragon hunt, wouldn't pay up. Which he didn't, and was promptly killed by her in self-defense when he tried to shut her up with force, getting us in trouble with the nobility and his bodyguard whose eye she stabbed out, which was a whole other can of worms.
"Hm? Okay, don't panic! Just because they're not here, doesn't mean they've been executed! And besides master wouldn't let them die, right?" I tried to convince myself.
Unfortunately, I soon remembered how nonchalant my master can be about serious injuries. Her world view on what's okay and what's not, is skewed by how messed up her childhood was. She treated lethal wounds like bruises while using near death experiences like learning experiences. Now that she has direct access to spirit magic, she might just think it's okay to let us die, because she could just revive us later, but not everyone is mentally stable enough to cope with such an experience.
"I need to find them immediately!" I muttered as I finished taking out the people blocking the exit door to this dungeon.
As the court mage of the dark empire and unfortunately more often than not, the one representing the empire in international negotiations, I have amassed some sway over all the vassal states of the Empire. If I make some concessions, I'm sure I could get us all out of this alive, though the boss and master might complain, but at this point I don't care. If they have a problem with this, then they can fix it themselves.
It was with such naïve thoughts that I opened the door after picking the locks and enchantments to the dungeon door.
*BOOM*
What greeted me outside was the scene of my juniors being pinned down by a mass of soldiers, about to get their heads cut off, while the one we were looking for had a panic attack, clutching a signal beacon of some kind, while being trampled by the biggest fish in this country, the triple element human immortal Han.
*Sigh*
"This is such a pain!" I said as I stepped in to deal with this situation.
I activated one of my body enchantments, then I cast two spells, one of which was the 4th tier spell, whirlwind, which created a short-lived tornado big enough to cover the whole plaza, which sent both my juniors and the soldiers about to cut their heads off into the air. Meanwhile, Han and Aiko, who were currently being pinned under his foot, did not move an inch from their positions.
"Hm? Well, that's a surprise! Now what may I ask, do you think you are doing interfering in our nation's personal affairs, Mad Dog?" Han spoke as he looked provokingly at me.
"Trust me, I don't wanna be here either! Now, if you wouldn't mind handing these three over to me, then we can all forget this ever happened!"
"Hmph? And why would I do that?"
"You do realize who I work for, correct?"
"Hmph! I do. However, as far as I am aware we have not received any word from your empire, nor your superior of your presence here! Your presence is no laughing matter! Even if we are a vassal state, a mare servant, even a high ranking one such as yourself, cannot just come and go as you please within our royal court, much less interfere in the matters of the royal family. Do you intend to break off the relationship between our nations? I doubt your superior will take kindly to such a thing!"
This is such a pain. Out of all the nuisances working with the Nishi Empire I could have run into right now, it had to be the one guy I can't easily overpower within this country. The peak Human Immortal Han, a tri-elemental powerhouse who serves the Nishi Emperor, and the main reason we decided to force this country into an alliance. Though the boss was definitely powerful enough to take down any single cultivator on this continent, he was only one individual, and even if you took me and Fuji into account, we seriously lacked the manpower to defend against all the different powerhouses coming at us from all directions back then, so we had them stir up a commotion in the enemies rear to lighten the load on our front lines. After everything settled down, and they became a vassal state, we decided to wait a bit to assess the situation before deciding on whether or not we would get rid of them or allow the status quo to continue.
Of course, if they rebelled, we could easily crush them, but we are already stretched thin from maintaining our hold on the current territory of the Dark Empire, not to mention we have only barely managed to recover the losses we took from the incident on the 1st continent. Though, if we pushed ourselves a bit, we might be able to do something if it was only this place but crushing them now might spook the other vassal states into rebelling as well, which again, we could destroy but would lack the manpower to gain control over afterwards. By the end, those 3 countries would either turn into desolate wastelands, or a lawless zone ruled by gangs and criminal organizations. That is why we have been trying to avoid damaging any of our relations with our vassals.
"Your concern is appreciated, but unnecessary! I am here at the behest of the Dark Lady's orders! Any fallout from this will fall on her shoulders, not mine. So, if you would kindly hand over those three!"
However, if master decides to throw her hat into the ring herself then that changes things completely. There are many ways she could change the odds should it come to blows. Information manipulation, blackmail, extortion, brainwashing, or even just pulling out her own army from who knows where, and that's just off the top of my head. She is a wild card that can flip any situation on its head when played. Only issue is that it's difficult to predict exactly what will happen once she takes the stage as her only loyalty lais with herself, meaning she won't care if her actions inconveniences you, and might even turn on you if it suits her interest, but since it's already come to this then I might as well just take that chance.
"Hm? Oh, so the rumor of the Dark Lord taking a spouse was true. Well, no matter. You may take those two and leave! As a favor to her ladyship, we shall ignore this incident this time if you leave now!"
"Two? I think you are mistaken. I have orders to bring back that one over there as well!" I said, pointing at the tiny girl he was stepping on.
"I'm afraid we will have to decline her ladyships request this time. This person is a member of the royal bloodline, and you know how protective his majesty can be of his own children!" He said, as he dug his heel into Aiko's shoulder.
"I can see that! But you seem to have not been listening! This was not a request. It's an order! You either hand her over, or I take her by force!" I said, unable to discern whether or not he was lying out his teeth.
"Hmph! How arrogant of you! Does the rabid welp think he can take down an immortal now? You may be a match for some weak arch mages, but do not kid yourself into believing you can-!"
*Swish*
Just then I launched my surprise attack. Shortly after seeing what was going on, I had cast an illusion spell to create a fake version of me, while the real me was hidden by an invisibility body enchantment, which I used to sneak up behind my opponent. While he was distracted by my illusion, I swung my main weapon, the necrosis-scythe, a mythical-grade soul weapon aiming for his head.
*Splash*
*Pop*
*Clang*
Unfortunately, he seemed to have noticed, likely due to his 6th sense, and dodged my swing while turning the ground beneath my feet into mud which caused me to slip and fall, then he quickly tried to submerge me under a wave of mud, only for me to teleport behind him. Noticing the spatial distortion before-hand, he had already fired a concentrated water jet my way by the time I finished teleporting, which I barely blocked with my scythe, using the flat of the blade, causing it to split into various water streams going in every which direction, carving up the surroundings. I had to use 1st stage aura to plant my feet in the ground to keep myself from being sent flying or dropping my weapon.
He then kept firing off more waterjets which I countered by multi casting twice the number of 4th and 3rd tier spells to either weaken, divert, or block most of his assault, buying me some time. Normally, if my uncle was here, I'd be able to fire my spells before he could launch his techniques, but unfortunately, he wasn't so I was struggling to keep up, as small cuts and bruises from weakened waterjets gradually started making their way through my defenses.
"Hm? Shit!"
*Thud*
While I was distracted, he had softened the ground around my feet again and I lost my footing. Fortunately, thanks to the many, many sparring sessions I have had with my master, I was still able to focus on my spells, preventing them from failing, and using my hearing and battle instincts to predict his attacks ahead of time, to compensate for the momentary loss of visuals from slipping.
*Swoosh*
*Sizzle*
*bang*
"Tsk!"
He seemed annoyed that his attack only bruised me as I stood back up. He then went on to say.
"You're persistent, I'll give you that, but even a fool like you can see how futile it is for you to keep fighting me at this point!"
"Hehe! And what makes you think that?"
"Hmph? Maybe I overestimated your intellect! Just look at the state you're in! The wounds you receive will only accumulate more and more as this drags on! Not to mention that your energy reserves must be starting to run dry after all those spells you just cast is it not? Without your spells, you are nothing but a weak mortal! Now leave! I do not wish for the enmity I'd gain from your superior should you perish at my hands!"
"Hehe! Now that's funny! You really think you have the upper hand, don't you? You know, my master once said, a strong enemy is easiest to kill when they think they've already won!"
"Hm?"
"But you are right! I am running low on mana, plus, I am currently missing most of my equipment right now, but I think that's a pretty fair handicap against a weak, bottom-feeding, human immortal like you!"
"Are you mad!"
"HAHAHAHAHA!"
As I started laughing hysterically from the adrenaline pumping through my veins, I could see his calm expression change, as he raised his guard.
"SPATIAL SLASH!" I shouted while pointing the big purple circle at the bastard.
Spatial slash is a rather famous 6th tier spatial spell, that borders on the 7th tier in terms of lethality. It's so famous in fact that many cultivators of the spatial element have tried to replicate it with their qi techniques, as even earth immortals are wary of its ability slice a space in half. So, it is no surprise that when he heard my shout, he jumped into the air, to dodge, falling for my faint.
Though I do know its spell structure, I have never actually attempted casting it before due to the risks involved with the 6th tier and my lack of understanding of the spell's inner workings. I am not crazy enough to go and practice a new spell I've never used in live combat, like a certain masked maniac I know. However, even if I wanted to, without uncle here to help compress the magic circle and optimize the energy consumption, I wouldn't have the mana reserves necessary in my current state to cast it. Of course, that dumbass didn't know that, hence why he and his water clones were covering themselves in darkness while flying around in the sky to try and throw off my aim. I didn't waste this chance to grab the girl clutching the big lightbulb before the idiot up in the sky noticed he'd been bamboozled.
After grabbing the shivering Aiko, I ran towards the duo taking cover behind an earth wall made with magic, while preparing my teleport spell to get out of here. Unfortunately, the idiot figured out my bluff before I reached them and came crashing down right in front of me like a meteor before I could reach them and blocked my path. Seeing this, I made a quick change to the spatial coordinates of the spell and used it to teleport Aiko over to my other juniors, while shouting.
"TAKE HER AND GO! NOW!"
"OH NO YOU-!"
*Swish*
*Sizzle*
As he was about to chase after them, I swung my scythe down, covering it in my green 3rd stage aura fire. I missed him of course as even with the enhancement from my aura, and the few enchantments I had on me, I was still a bit short of bridging the gap in our physical specs. That is why, once my scythe pierced the ground, I had my aura flames encircled us, creating a giant dome of green fire to prevent him from escaping.
Unfortunately, he had been right about my mana reserves, as I had already burned through over half of what I had in that little scuffle earlier. Had I brought my full arsenal of artifacts, potions, and poisons, then this fight might have ended before I even used a quarter of my mana, but since this was an undercover mission, I had chosen to let master hold on to whatever I couldn't conceal on my person. So, the robe of death's embrace, the banshee's whispers, whisp of the will-o lantern, and hell's hourglass, all artifacts of legendary grade or higher, any of which could have tipped the scales in my favor, are currently unavailable. Fortunately, soul weapons like the necrosis scythe are semi-spiritual in nature and can be hidden inside my soul, else I would have stood no chance of winning in a direct confrontation like this.
"Hmph! 3rd stage aura, is it? Quite impressive! May I ask, how did you achieve such a thing, as a mere mortal magician?"
"Hehe! Nothing impressive about it! I just trained under my master for a couple of years!"
"A couple of years! Ha! Now that is a joke if I ever heard one! What kind of training would allow one to become an aura master in such a short time?"
"Hehe! The kind where you nearly die on a daily basis!"
"Hm?"
"Hehe! People call me the mad mage, but compared to my master, I'm the sanest man alive!"
"She booby-trapped the bathrooms to keep me on my toes, poisoned my food to make me build up my poison resistance, and broke every bone in my body, healed them, then broke them again, under the guise of sparring, and that was when she wasn't using me as a guinea pig or live bait for whatever magic beast she was hunting at the time."
"…! That sounds … uh!"
"But even that, paled in comparison to what her final test for me was!"
"Uh… I was merely making some light banter. I didn't mean to-!"
"I HAD TO SURVIVE A WEEK! A WHOLE FUCKING WEEK, WHILE BEING HUNTED BY HER!"
"I-!"
"AND I DON'T MEAN HUNTED AS IN I FAILED IF SHE CAUGHT ME! NO, NO, NO! I MEAN, SHE WAS ACTUALLY COMING FOR MY LIFE! ON DAY 2, I WAS WOKEN UP TO A KNIFE IN MY GUT, FOLLOWED BY ANOTHER ONE FLYING STRAIGHT AT MY FACE MOMENTS AFTER. BOMBS, THROWING WEAPONS, POISONS, SPELLS, AMBUSHES, AND ALL SORTS OF TRAPS! SHE COULD APPEARE ANYWHERE, AT ANY TIME, FROM ANY DIRECTION! SHE EVEN TRIGGERED A MONSTERWAVE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! WHAT KIND OF INSANE MASTER EXPECTS HER DISCIPLE TO SURVIVE A HOARD OF STAMPEDING DRAGONS WHILE SEDATED FROM THE DEADLY POISON LACED DAGGER IN HIS SHOULDER!"
Seeing this as a rare opportunity to vent my complaints to someone, I started unloading my repressed anger at my master's insane lessons on to this guy until I was out of breath.
*Huff* *Huff*
"Ehem …! Are you finished?"
"Yeah! Phew! It feels good to get that off my chest! Thanks for listening! I'll see you later!" I said, as I turned to leave.
Unfortunately, I kind of forgot I was supposed to fight this guy, and the moment I turned my back on him, a pillar of darkness rose from right beneath my feet and swallowed me whole.
"Huh! I never thought the mad mage had such deep-seated issues with his master, nor did I think that would work! He is gone now, so it does not matter! Hm? Why haven't the fires faded yet? Is it the type of aura that lingers even after death?"
*Swish*
"AAH! *Cough*"
"Hehe! Now who did you say was gone?" I said, after throwing my flaming scythe into his back as I came crawling out of the pillar of darkness.
As much as I'd like to deny how I'd just been caught off guard like an idiot after getting carried away while buying time through verbal communication, it is exactly what happened. I should probably look for a therapist if I survive this. Because I just lost my legs because I got too caught up venting.
"YOU!!!"
"HAHAHAHAHA! YOU'RE GOING TO DIE ASSHOLE!"
"WHAT ARE YOU?! *Cough* *bleurgh*"
I laughed hysterically while trying to use the torn fabric from my clothes to tourniquet the bleeding stumps of my legs and slow the bleeding a bit. Meanwhile, the asshole was experiencing the effects of my aura.
My aura is called the fires of plague, and their effects are in the name, plague. Even if they don't have a flesh and blood body, anyone touched by my flames, even if the fires burn out, will eventually die while experiencing some form of ailment.
The exact symptoms can vary. It can be violent coughing, lightheadedness, fever, swelling, discolored skin, and so on. It even spread like a disease and infects others who come into contact with an infected individual, making it the perfect weapon to covertly exterminate a large group, as I can just infect one individual, then let them go to rejoin their group and infect the rest. Thanks to my high mastery of this power, I can even limit its spread, cure those affected by it, whether it's just one individual or all of them at once.
"Ugh! What is this black substance? *Bleurgh*"
Apparently, this guy got vomiting, coughing, …
"DAMN YOU!"
*Thud*
Dizziness, as evident by how he just tried to kick me, only to miss entirely before falling over.
"*Cough**Cough* What have you done to me!"
"Sorry, but a magician never reveals his tricks! AHAHAHAHAHA!" I laughed, as I started wondering whether it was the laughing or the blood loss that was making me feel so lightheaded.
As I felt the energy drain out of me, the fire dome went down, and I found myself surrounded by the Nishi royal guard.
"YOU! I know you! You are an official from the Dark Empire!" The rotund emperor said, sitting in his palanquin.
"HAHAHAHA!"
"Hm? Has he gone mad? Why is he laughing in that state?"
*Snap*
*THUD*
That is where my consciousness started fading, as what little oxygen was being transferred to my brain was cut off from the uncontrollable laughter of seeing one of the poles of the palanquin snap, causing the rotund man to fall on top of an unfortunate servant. My final thought as I worried, I might actually laugh myself to death this time, was that I finally understood the danger of these forbidden recipes. For the man I had unknowingly turned morbidly obese would claim two lives this day. Mine, and the unfortunate servant I saw being crushed underneath his body before it all went black.