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Rating:
Mature
Archive Warning:
Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Fandoms:
Parahumans Series - WildbowFate/stay night & Related FandomsFate/stay night: Unlimited Blade Works (Anime 2014)
Characters:
Cú Chulainn | LancerTaylor Hebert | Skitter | Weaver
Additional Tags:
Self-InsertCYOA
Language:
English
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Published:2023-11-19Updated:2026-08-08Words:70,172Chapters:22/?Comments:390Kudos:1,408Bookmarks:566Hits:50,259
Hebert's Hound
TheCandyManCant
Chapter 17: 17
Chapter Text
The sharpened point at the butt of Cletiné loudly clanged against the cement sidewalk with each of Taylor's steps as she used it as a walking stick, putting more force than necessary into the motion. Her other fist was clenched tight. She stared directly ahead, doing her best to drown Glory Girl – Call me Vicky! – out. It proved challenging.
"–but, like why? Ya know? I mean like, sure he's hot and all, but ick! The guy doesn't know how to talk to people. One time in gym class we were all warming up and he–"
"Vicky," Gallant said hesitantly. "I think we can save the high school drama for later. We're on patrol right now."
Taylor had to hold back a sigh of relief as Vicky finally stopped talking. Since meeting up with Gallant and Aegis, she'd been talking nonstop about who said what and who wanted to date who at Arcadia. It was one thing to gossip while you were out with friends. It was an entirely separate matter to gossip about your personal life while in your cape persona.
People online all assumed the Wards went to Arcadia High School due to all the weird things Aradia did to obscure what students were going where at what time, but now Taylor knew both Gallant and Aegis went to Arcadia. Vicky had said way too much about her personal life, then would randomly look at either Gallant or Aegis and ask if they remembered that one time when Chelsie left crying because Brad cheated on her with Stacy. Even numbed by the drama as it was, Taylor's brain was capable of making the very obvious connection that Gallant and Aegis not only knew Vicky in their civilian lives, but that they went to the same school.
Taylor made a mental note to make sure Victoria Dallon never met Taylor Hebert. Her identity would be out in under a month. How the Wards' identities weren't common knowledge with how blasely Vicky was saying all of this on the street with people filming them was a mystery to Taylor.
'Aw,' Lancer said in her mind, sounding disappointed. 'I wanted to hear about why Isobel shouldn't get with Georgie. He seems like a nice enough guy to me.'
'You actually managed to follow that?' Taylor asked, genuinely shocked that anyone was able to decipher the endless stream of vocabulary pouring from Vicky's mouth.
'You didn't? It's simple. See, Georgie and Isobel grew up across the street from each other, but when–'
'Don't even start.' Taylor growled threateningly.
Lancer laughed in her head but thankfully didn't rehash the same sad tale Vicky had so graciously spent the last fifteen minutes recounting. It hadn't even been thirty minutes into this patrol and Taylor was already regretting coming out for it. Next time, she was going back to patrolling solo. Vicky's presence had taken what was once a fun, relaxing activity and turned it into a stressful slog where all Taylor could do was count the minutes until she could leave. She'd agreed to finish the Wards' route with them, and she would keep her word. After that? She was gone.
"So, Cletiné," Aegis said, banishing the blessed silence Taylor was relishing following Vicky's tirade. "You've been active for a little while now, but you're much more put together than most first-timers. How long have you had your powers?"
Taylor's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean more 'put together'?" And why was he asking when she got her powers? Was he trying to figure out her identity?
Gallant smiled awkwardly at her from beneath his visor. "Most new capes go out with a bandana and jeans. Some manage a domino mask, but that's about the extent of first time costumes. Yours is really good for a first timer."
"It's good for a veteran." Aegis commented.
Vicky, Gallant and Aegis all stopped to look Taylor up and down. Taylor suddenly felt self-conscious as the young heroes examined her skin-tight outfit over non-existent curves. All she had to show off were some meager muscles cultivated through her training with Lancer that just made her look boyish.
"I…your costumes are good too," Taylor said, awkwardly trying to change the subject as she pulled her coat tighter around herself.
Gallant held up his hand, turning it over so the silver gauntlet reflected the light. "One of the advantages to being a Tinker. We're able to make our own costumes however we want. This is the fourth iteration of my suit."
"Yeah, your costume is awesome, Cletiné." Vicky said, floating up into the air to orbit around Taylor. "Did you make it yourself or commission it? New Wave mostly commissions with a company in Boston, but Parian's done some work for us in the past too. Your suit doesn't look like either of their work."
"I…" Taylor looked away, embarrassed. "Lancer made it for me."
"No way!" Vicky said, gasping. "You're telling me he beats up nazis and knows how to sew? Talk about a man of many talents. Who is he to you anyway? PHO is going crazy trying to figure it out. Is it a family situation like New Wave?"
"Vicky," Aegis said, eyes narrowing through the open visor of his rust-red helmet, "It's impolite to ask details about a cape's identity."
"Oh, come on. We beat up nazis together! That makes us friends. But you're right that this probably isn't the place." Vicky winked at Taylor. "We'll talk later, Cletiné."
Taylor nodded, not mentioning that there would never be a later. She was regretting this outing more and more by the minute. There would not be a repeat if she had anything to say about it.
"So, Cletiné," Gallant began. Taylor had to hold back a sigh as the silence was once more lost. Gallant began frowning as he said, "I know you're on a team with Lancer, but have you considered joining the Wards? From the videos I've seen, Lancer is good, but having more teammates wouldn't hurt. Plus, there's a lot of benefits that'll help you in the future. College funds, housing stipends and such."
"I'm not a big fan of large groups." Taylor said diplomatically. She didn't want to piss off the Wards when she might be fighting with them in the future. "It'd be great to work with you guys, but I like being able to work on my own."
"It's your decision," Aegis said, watching her closely, "But you have a target on your back now."
"The Empire, right?" Taylor said. She and Lancer had already discussed this. With Lancer taking out Fenja and Menja and her bringing down Victor, Othala and Rune, the Empire might try something to get even with them. She doubted any of the Empire's capes would be able to threaten Cu Chulainn. The Wards weren't aware of just how safe she was.
"The two of you have cut their cape roster in half." Aegis stressed. "They won't take that lying down."
"I appreciate the concern, but we can handle ourselves." Taylor said.
Gallant frowned. "I know you're both capable, but I don't like how Lancer always lets you patrol alone. What happens if the Empire targets you while you're on patrol and he's at home? If it weren't for Vicky, Rune would have hurt you before Lancer arrived to support you on that roof. From what I was told, Lancer only arrived a couple minutes after Dauntless was there."
Taylor's eyes narrowed. She scowled, not liking how obvious Gallant was being with his insinuations about Lancer. "I appreciate the concern, but it isn't your place to tell me what I should and shouldn't do."
Gallant raised his hands placatively. "It's just something to think about, okay? A teammate you can't rely on is worse than an enemy in some cases. Look at what happened on the rig with Mouse Protector. He only showed up to goof around, and that was after the Empire's capes almost hurt you or worse. It's like he doesn't care about you."
Taylor's hand tightened into a death grip around Cletiné. A faint green glow suffused Taylor's limbs as she overpowered her reinforcement to thrust away the urge to snap or strike at Gallant. How dare he insinuate Cu was going to get her hurt? How dare he insinuate Cu didn't care? Who the hell did this jackass think he is?
Gallant physically recoiled away from her, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk to back away.
'It's okay, master,' Lancer said in her mind. 'It's just words. Much like we shouldn't let the opinions of idiots on the internet dictate our actions, we should not let the opinions of idiots in reality dictate our actions. He means well, he's just stupid. Let it go.'
Taylor's reinforcement thrummed, receding to its normal levels as she calmed down. Gallant was just a well-meaning idiot. It wasn't worth it to get upset over what he was saying.
That didn't mean she'd forget it. Taylor made a mental note to avoid Gallant whenever possible.
"Everything okay, Gallant?" Aegis asked, watching the frozen Tinker.
"Yeah, um… I was looking at something on my HUD." Gallant said quickly, jogging a few steps to catch up with the group. Before, he was walking next to Taylor. Now, he walked on the other side of Glory Girl to keep distance from Taylor.
"Thanks for your concern, but I'm okay. Lancer and I are good." Taylor said diplomatically. She left out the part where he could take his concern and shove it up the intake of his shiny little suit.
"Okay," Gallant said, finally turning to look at her. "Just keep the offer in mind. The Wards will always be here if you change your mind." He kept shooting concerned looks at Taylor then snapping his head away to look at something across the street when she saw him watching her while they walked. It was getting annoying. He was far less relaxed than he was before. What had gotten into him?
Taylor shook her head. It wasn't her problem. Another twenty minutes and she'd be out of here. There wouldn't be a repeat.
"So, Cletiné," Glory Girl said leadingly with a smirk as she floated into the air in front of Taylor. "We've been talking a lot about relationships… I told you about Dean, so now it's your turn. Do you have a heroic paramour?"
Taylor stopped walking, wracking her brain. Who was Dean? Was that another part of Vicky's rambling that she'd just tuned out?
Luckily, before that uncomfortable conversation could continue, a crowd of people approached them as they turned down another street. Taylor was grateful for the distraction, latching onto it instantly.
"What's this?" she asked.
Gallant coughed awkwardly. "Patrol routes change weekly to keep the villains guessing. New routes are set Mondays. Most of the time, PHO has figured out the patrol routes by the weekend. Sometimes people come out looking for autographs."
Taylor frowned. "Wait, but if they know the patrol routes, won't the villains?"
Aegis nodded. "There's a reason they sent Wards on this patrol. We're in the middle of the city within five minutes of the PRT HQ. People like seeing the Wards, and the villains tend to leave us alone. The Protectorate handles the more dangerous patrol routes on the weekends."
"Then what's the point of the patrol route? If everyone knows where you are, what's the point?" Taylor asked, confused.
Gallant shrugged. "For us, these are more of a meet and greet. We meet with people, show the flag, take pictures and sign autographs. The Protectorate handles the dangerous routes and gets the most arrests." Gallant turned away as a young couple approached asking for autographs. He, Aegis and Vicky were all now talking to different people, taking pictures and signing shirts and small notebooks.
Taylor didn't say it out loud, but this seemed incredibly stupid to her. What was the purpose of the Wards if they just came out to take pictures? Shouldn't they be doing more good?
'You know, master, I seem to recall a certain Lancer servant saying something similar to our Gallant friend there. It's almost as if that unnamed servant knows what he's talking about.' Lancer spoke into her head.
'Is this really all they do?' Taylor asked, disbelieving.
'I'm sure they deploy when they have to, but for the most part, yes. This is the life of a "hero" in the modern day. I'm sure you can see why I harped so much on your training. I believe it to be a more valuable use of your time than this.'
'I'm starting to think you might be right.'
'I do have some experience as a hero, master.'
'Definitely more than these guys. It's like they're just playing dress-up.'
'I wouldn't say it is that bad, but it certainly leaves much to be desired.'
"Cletwhine!"
Taylor turned around to see a small girl walking up to her. She had brown hair and was wearing a green dress. Most surprising, she had a crudely drawn picture in her hands. It looked like a crayon drawing of a tall brown-haired girl in black and red with a golden spear. It took Taylor a second to realize the drawing was of her.
The girl pushed the paper up. "You're really cool! Can you sign my drawing?"
Taylor swallowed, suddenly under assault of an emotion she couldn't identify. "I'd love to."
Taylor bent down and knelt in front of the girl. Over the girl's shoulder, she saw a couple in their mid-to-late twenties watching the exchange with smiles on their faces, presumably the girl's parents.
"What's your name?" Taylor asked.
"I'm Jessica," the girl said proudly.
Taylor laughed. "Alright, Jessica. Let's get this signed." A spike of panic punched Taylor in the chest as she realized she didn't have a pen or a pencil. Jessica had only given her the paper. She didn't have anything to sign with.
'You don't need a pen, master.' Lancer said in her head.
Taylor froze, realizing what he meant. 'What if those clocktower people you mentioned are around?'
'Let 'em eat cake. They're all bastards anyway. Besides, with how active and unapologetically magical we've been, if they were here, they would have reached out or tried to put a stop to us by now. Just give the kid something cool to show all of her friends.'
Smiling at Lancer's blase tone, Taylor placed a finger on the bottom of the page, slowly dragging her index finger along the bottom.
Jessica's eyes lit up in wonder. She gasped as Taylor handed the paper back to her. Scrolled across the bottom was a series of small, glowing runes, a signature of sorts.
"There you go," Taylor said, enjoying the pure joy evident on Jessica's face. She patted the girl on the shoulder. "Why don't you go show your mom and dad what you've got?"
Jessica spun around dashing back to her parents, drawing held high. "Mommy! Daddy! Look, look, look!" She excitedly babbled at them. Her mother leaned down and whispered something in her ear.
Jessica's eyes widened as she turned around. "Thank you, Cletwhine!"
Taylor chuckled at the mispronunciation and waved. Okay, maybe this whole talking to the public thing wasn't so bad after all.
After seeing she was receptive to giving autographs, a tide of people fell over Taylor, asking her to sign things and taking pictures with her and of Cletiné as it floated loyally behind her. They asked her an unending sea of questions.
What are your powers? Where's Lancer? Are you going to join the Wards? How long have you been a cape? How does your spear float like that? What are your thoughts on the Wards? Why do you make other spears if you already have a floating spear? Why do you make spears to fly if you could just fly with the floating spear? Is Lancer your dad? Will you join the Wards? Are you single? Is Lancer single? When are Lancer and Mouse Protector getting married? Are you with the Wards because you're joining the Wards?
After the twentieth person asked if she was going to join the Wards, Taylor concluded that yes, this whole talking to the public thing was as bad as she originally thought.
Thankfully, the crowd slowly drifted off as Taylor remained tight-lipped to all of their questions, only answering what was common knowledge. The mass of people had almost left. Once they were gone, there was only another block to go on the patrol route and she could finally go home.
The last stragglers were clearing out. She'd finally be able to move along with her day.
Naturally, that's when Mouse Protector appeared right in front of her, armor shining, sword aimed to the sky.
"Hail, Bay of Brockton! The mouseketeer hath returned!"
Seeing Mouse Protector suddenly appear, the entire street was once more jam-packed with people taking pictures. No one had approached to ask for an autograph yet, but it was only a matter of time.
"Hi, MP!" Vicky said, flying down in front of her.
Mouse Protector waved with her sword hand, making it look like she was trying to impale the sky. "Hello, Glorious Girl! Forgive me, but you are not the one I seek." Mouse Protector spun around to fully face Taylor. "Greetings and salutations, Cletiné! It has been too long since we crossed paths!"
"It's been a week." Taylor said, already tired from talking to people and getting more exhausted by the second. This was not how she saw her day going.
Mouse Protector threw her head back and laughed, laying her shieldhand on Taylor's shoulder. "An eternity, aye! Pray tell, my little spearwoman, mayhaps we could talk privately?"
Taylor raised an eyebrow at her. "You want to talk alone?"
"Twould fill this mouse with gratitude!"
Off to the side, Taylor heard one of the civilians ask their friend if 'twould' was a word. The friend insisted it was, and they got into an argument about whether 'twould' was or wasn't a word.
Taylor shrugged, turning to face the Wards. "Sorry to cut this short, but…"
Aegis waved her off. "Don't worry about it. It was great meeting you, Cletiné. I hope we can patrol more together in the future."
Taylor nodded politely. "It was good meeting you too." She would not be patrolling with them again in the future.
Taylor raised an arm above her head. A traced spear launched upward, pulling her along behind it. The crowd took pictures and let out gasps of awe as Taylor rose higher and higher into the sky on false spears, Cletiné clutched in her other hand.
Taylor's mind drifted to the question one of the people asked her about why she flew with traced spears instead of Cletiné. While she'd tested it, and Cletiné could hold her weight, it was really slow when it moved with her. It was more effective to move with launched traced spears. Taylor only ever really used Cletiné to slowly descend from the tops of buildings or to hover in place, not that she did a lot of hovering. She did sit on the spear high in the sky and watch the sunset once. That was pretty.
Taylor landed on a nearby roof. Before she could even turn around, Mouse Protector was already behind her.
"I'm sorry to appear out of nowhere like this, but I saw on PHO that you were out with the Wards and didn't want to risk teleporting to you while you were in civvies. This seemed like my best chance." Mouse Protector said, sounding apologetic and dropping the weird speaking cadence for once.
"You knew where I was because of PHO?"
Mouse Protector stabbed her sword into the roof, resting her hands on the pommel, shieldhand over swordhand. "That I did, young purveyor of justice." The weird speaking cadence was back. "I'd caution a young hero to be cognizant of whom around them may be tracking their position. As an independent, thou may find thyself as evil's prime prize. Thou must remain ever vigilant for traps lest a cursed metal bar crush your dreams moments before receiving your deserved cheese!"
Taylor narrowed her eyes. "I know you don't have to talk like that. I just heard it. Can you just talk normally, please?"
Mouse Protector's eyes shined behind her helmet. "Nay,"
Taylor sighed. She couldn't say she was surprised by the response. It was definitely contributing to the burgeoning headache she had though. Or maybe the headache was from Vicky?
"What do you want?" Taylor asked, feeling her energy rapidly sap away from her body.
Mouse Protector slapped a fist against her chest, looking off into the distance dramatically. "I seek the noble knight who hath stolen mine heart. Many a day have I searched sky and sea, yet mine eye remains bereft of his countenance."
Taylor looked at her through half-lidded eyes. "You're looking for Lancer. Why didn't you just teleport to him? You can do that, right?"
Mouse Protector shrugged. "I can. Well, normally I can. I've been trying to teleport to the mark I left on him for days now. There must be a weird power interaction going on, because while I can feel the mark exists, I can't teleport to it. I tried before I teleported to the one I left on you. Not sure why yours worked and his didn't. Your powers seem pretty similar, but it must be something unique to him."
"You left a mark on me? Wait, how long do your marks last?"
"Mine blessed touch shalt persist until the dying of the very stars themselves!" Mouse Protector proclaimed, looking up towards the sky, her dark shoulder cape billowing in the breeze.
Taylor didn't actually believe Mouse Protector's marks were permanent, but she didn't have a problem with the cape not telling her the weaknesses of her powers. What she did have a problem with was Mouse Protector's antics. "Okay, switching between talking normally and the weird speech is actually more annoying than just doing one or the other. Pick one and stick with it. Why do you want to talk to Lancer?"
Mouse Protector looked away, faux bashful. "Thou dost ask after the intentions of a lady? How ill-mannered. I must inquire as to your parents' teachings, young one."
Taylor's eye twitched. "Tell me why you want to find Lancer or I'm leaving."
Mouse Protector relaxed, standing normally and looking Taylor in the eye. "He seems nice. Fun too. I was going to ask him out. There's a nice pizza joint I know in New York."
"I like pizza."
Taylor and Mouse Protector turned to the side, finding Lancer leaned up against the building's air conditioning unit a short distance away.
Mouse Protector vanished, reappearing right next to Lancer. "I knew I remembered it working when we fought! Why couldn't I teleport to you earlier?"
"Stranger power. That's all I'm at liberty to say." Lancer answered simply.
Taylor's eyes widened. Mouse Protector couldn't teleport to him when he was astralized. Did that mean other powers wouldn't work on him in that state, or was it just Mouse Protector's?
"That's plenty." Mouse Protector accepted easily. "I thought I was going crazy for a minute there." Mouse Protector's eyes widened. "That's why you're never seen patrolling with Cletiné! You are there, you're just following her while invisible!"
"Guilty as charged. Now what's this I hear about New York pizza?" Lancer asked.
Mouse Protector stepped back, holding a fist to her helmet's faceplate as she cleared her throat. "Ahem," Mouse Protector went down on one knee, holding her hand up to Lancer as she looked up into his eyes. "Fair Knight, though I have not enjoyed your company long, each moment spent at your side is a moment spent in joy. I ask thee, wilt thou accompany me to Rosco's NY Pizza and Calzone Corner? There, we shall feast on a glorious marriage of mozzarella, parmesan and pepperoni. Once thine appetite is sated, if thou dost agree, we shall tarry across thine street to Wilson's Arcade wherefore we shall enjoy digital challenges galore!"
"Do they have Galaga in the arcade?" Lancer asked.
Mouse Protector's eyes shined. "They do. I've got the high score."
"Not for long." Lancer coughed into his fist. "Ahem," Lancer took Mouse Protector's hand, staring into her eyes. "Thine heartfelt offer is hereby accepted, fair protector of the mouse. Together, we shalt journey to the York of New. There we shall share a celebratory feast! Upon that feast's completion, we shall, together, engage enemies from beyond the realm bent on the destruction of small white spaceships!" Lancer grinned. "I'm going to beat your score."
"Fat chance, buddy." Mouse Protector said, letting Lancer pull her to her feet. "Sorry, I know this is kind of out of nowhere and that I'm asking you to go to New York, but it'll be worth it, I promise."
Lancer shrugged. "I didn't have a way to contact you or I'd have reached out first. And don't sweat it being in New York. I can be there in like thirty minutes."
Taylor raised an eyebrow at Lancer's easy admission.
Lancer was fast. It was one thing to see him fighting where he was constantly spinning and jumping at odd angles, but when he goes into a full sprint in a straight line and just keeps going he gets absurdly fast. While astralized, he doesn't even have to turn to avoid objects, he can go right through them. Considering he could outrun cars on the freeway while normal, not having to dodge obstacles would make him that much faster. Still, Taylor wasn't sure he could get to New York in thirty minutes. Maybe he was trying to show off?
Mouse Protector paused, tilting her head to the side. "No shit?"
"Closer to twenty if I hurry." Lancer said, lips pulling up into a grin.
"Well okay then. Tomorrow night work for you?"
"Work's just fine."
"Masks or no masks? I'm cool either way, so no pressure, but people will probably bug us if we go in masks."
Lancer chuckled "Despite what people may think, I don't use any power to change my face. This is what I always look like. I can spoof up my hair and put on some makeup to disguise myself if you want to go without masks though. Wouldn't want to out you."
Mouse Protector was silent for a second as she considered his proposition. "Just wear a hat. That should be good enough. No one in New York is going to be looking for a Brockton cape in a pizza joint. Do you want the address?"
"I'll find it online. Meet you there at four-o'clock?"
"Sounds good. Looking forward to it!" Mouse Protector vanished from the roof.
Lancer turned to face her, a bright smile on his face. "I'm going on a date, master!"
Taylor looked at him through half-lidded eyes. "I can tolerate you because our minds are stitched together. The both of you at once is too much. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for you, just keep your date far removed from me so I don't get a migraine."
Lancer gave her a thumbs up. "Will do, master! I'll write up a training plan for you to go through tomorrow while I'm gone."
Taylor sighed. There goes her Sunday night.
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