Chapter 11: "Of Sages, Stamina, and Failed Bathroom Escapes"
Starring: Kaito Hoshino, accidental ninja-in-training and professional slacker.
Let me tell you something real quick: when you end up as the temporary tenant of the body belonging to Ren Kisaragi, things get weird.
Like, Ki-and-dream-sharing-and-training-until-your-brain-files-a-complaint weird.
But lucky me, I had Master Jin.
The one and only Jin Sazanami. A man with long black-and-silver hair, enough scars to qualify as a history book, and a gaze so serious it made me sit straighter just looking at him—unless he had a bottle of alcohol nearby, in which case his priorities became questionable.
We were sitting in a clearing somewhere in the Blackwood Forest that smelled like fresh dew, grilled fish, and the ever-present scent of training. Master Jin was cooking. Like, actual food. With a fire. On a log.
He looked like a camping dad if your camping dad could punch a monster through a mountain.
"Calm down, kid, and tell me exactly what happened when you met Ren and Yunhai Tianren," Master Jin said, turning the fish with all the calmness of a man who'd fought giant monsters and lived to grill about it.
I sat down across from him.
"I met Ren in that dream world again," I said. "We talked. He looked… good. Focused. He's training, making friends, and waiting for you to figure out how to bring him back."
Master Jin froze.
Not literally.
But you could feel it.
His hand stopped over the fire, and for a second, he just stared at the fish.
Oof.
Emotional damage.
I considered hugging him.
Then remembered he could probably break all my ribs accidentally.
"So he's safe," Jin said quietly.
"Yeah. He told me to tell you he's doing fine."
Master Jin gave a slow nod.
Then his expression hardened again.
"And Yunhai Tianren?"
"Oh, right."
I scratched my cheek.
"He said he caused the soul swap."
Master Jin's eyes narrowed.
"He told you that directly?"
"Yep. Apparently Ren and I were both heading toward terrible futures. Ninety-percent chance of dying young, according to him. So he swapped us to change our paths."
Jin didn't answer.
That worried me.
Normally, Master Jin had an opinion on everything.
"And," I added, "Ren met someone on Earth. A girl. She used magic."
His head turned toward me.
"Magic?"
"Yeah. He hurt his hand and she healed it. Frilly outfit. Sparkles. Called herself a Magical Girl."
Master Jin stared at me for a second.
Then shrugged.
"That sounds like Earth."
I blinked.
"You say that like Magical Girls are normal."
"I didn't say they were normal."
"You know something."
"I know Earth has martial artists, magicians, magical creatures, Demons, spirits and several groups that prefer ordinary humans never learn they exist."
I stared.
"You knew all that and didn't tell me?!"
"You were busy falling into lakes."
"That is not a valid excuse!"
Before I could continue my completely justified outrage, two people entered the clearing.
The first was Akira Kurogane, one of the Veiled Moon Sect's senior instructors. Calm, dark-haired, permanently bored-looking, and somehow capable of making silence feel sarcastic.
Behind him came Daichi Arakawa.
Daichi-sensei believed everything in life could be solved with enough exercise.
I feared him.
"Anything else?" Akira asked.
"Yeah," I said. "Ren's been training like a maniac. Morning, afternoon, evening. I'm honestly offended. I didn't know my body was capable of that kind of motivation."
Daichi's eyes practically ignited.
"Magnificent!"
Oh no.
"He maintains such dedication even without his cultivation!"
"Oh no."
Daichi clenched both fists.
"Then we must demonstrate equal determination here!"
"Why did I say anything?"
Akira ignored me. "You said you appear in your original bodies inside this dream realm?"
"Yeah."
"And you can spar?"
"Yeah."
Master Jin looked thoughtful.
I suddenly had a terrible feeling.
"Oh!" I said, unfortunately realizing something important. "That means whatever you teach me here, I can practice with Ren there. And he can teach me stuff directly too."
Everyone went quiet.
You could practically see the training plans forming behind their eyes.
I had made a catastrophic mistake.
Master Jin smiled.
"No need to complicate things, then. We train you properly here. You and Ren exchange what you learn each night."
I laughed nervously.
Inside?
Panic.exe had stopped responding.
As Jin passed around the grilled fish, I slowly stood.
Nobody reacted.
Good.
I took one step.
Then another.
Akira looked up.
"Where are you going?"
"Bathroom."
"There isn't one."
"Nature bathroom."
He stared.
"Urgent nature bathroom."
Master Jin waved lazily. "Go."
"Yes!"
I walked away.
Slowly.
Casually.
Like a perfectly normal person who definitely wasn't planning to escape.
Ten steps.
Twenty.
Thirty.
Then—
ZOOM.
I ran.
Freedom!
Escape!
Survival!
I made it approximately fifteen seconds.
A shadow moved underneath me.
Two black hands shot out of the ground and grabbed my ankles.
"WHAT THE—?!"
I slammed face-first into the dirt.
Master Jin appeared beside me moments later.
I looked up.
He looked down.
"Shadow Grip," he said.
"…That's cheating."
"You're a ninja."
"Fair."
Note to self:
When escaping elite ninja instructors, maybe don't try it in a forest while wearing the body of the student whose techniques they taught.
Okay, so let me paint you a picture.
Imagine a guy—let's say, hypothetically, me—wearing enough cultivation weights to make a normal human being approximately three-dimensional paste.
Weights around my arms.
Weights around my legs.
A formation-weighted vest over my chest.
And Daichi Arakawa standing nearby yelling motivational nonsense while I tried to maintain perfect form.
Now, here's the unfair part.
Ren's body wasn't tired.
Not even close.
This body could do thousands of ordinary push-ups without caring. It was a Foundation Establishment body. Normal exercise barely counted as exercise.
The problem was me.
My coordination.
My concentration.
My ability to control Ren's strength without accidentally launching myself into a tree.
"Again!" Daichi shouted.
"I'VE DONE FIVE HUNDRED!"
"And your body could perform five thousand!"
"THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME FEEL BETTER!"
"Control your breathing! Control your center of gravity! Do not allow the body to move faster than your mind!"
That was the real torture.
Every time I pushed too hard, Ren's body responded with way more force than I expected.
Push-up?
Accidentally launched my hands off the ground.
Squat?
Almost jumped three meters.
Sprint?
Met a tree.
The tree won emotionally.
Meanwhile, across the clearing, one of my shadow clones stood with Akira.
"Again," Akira said.
The shadow beneath the clone stretched outward.
Black hands erupted from beneath a training dummy.
Shadow Grip.
The hands missed.
"Too obvious," Akira said. "Again."
Nearby, another shadow clone sat cross-legged with Master Jin, reading through Veiled Moon Sect manuals.
"Poisons are not simply substances that kill," Jin explained. "You need to understand the body first. Circulation. Organs. Metabolism. Resistance. Dosage. A poison you don't understand is just a good way to kill yourself."
Another clone was practicing stealth.
Another was studying moonlight techniques.
Another was working on basic Ki control.
And real me?
I was currently trying not to accidentally headbutt the ground during push-ups.
There was only one dream keeping me going through all of this.
This is for the harem.
I repeated it like a sacred mantra.
This is all for the harem.
Then Master Jin walked over.
He crouched beside me.
"Kaito."
I looked up.
Barely.
"What?"
"You want women someday, right?"
My ears perked up.
Daichi closed his eyes.
He already knew where this was going.
Master Jin continued in the solemn tone of a master passing down an ancient secret.
"Then become someone worth choosing."
I blinked.
That was…
Actually kind of reasonable.
Then he ruined it.
"Being strong helps."
My eyes widened.
"Really?"
"Of course."
A second wind entered my soul.
"For the harem," I whispered.
Daichi sighed.
I pushed harder.
"FOR THE HAREM!"
Akira looked over from beneath his tree.
Master Jin nodded proudly.
I rose from the ground like a man reborn.
"FOR BEAUTIFUL WOMEN EVERYWHERE!"
A flock of birds exploded out of the trees.
Daichi looked like someone had punched his spirit directly.
"Kaito!" he shouted. "Training is about discipline! Growth! Forging the mind and spirit!"
"Yes, Daichi-sensei!"
I pointed dramatically toward the heavens.
"I SHALL FORGE MYSELF INTO A MAN WORTHY OF LOVE!"
Daichi paused.
"That is actually—"
"And A THOUSAND BEAUTIFUL WOMEN!"
His hope died immediately.
Master Jin wiped a tear from his eye.
"He's learning."
Akira turned another page of his book.
"He's broken."
And so the sun set on another insane day of training.
Ren's body was perfectly capable of continuing.
My brain was not.
My concentration was fried, my Ki control was barely holding together, and after absorbing several hours of experience from my shadow clones, I had enough information bouncing around inside my skull to qualify as a small library.
But I had a dream.
And in this world, dreams mattered.
Ren wanted to become strong enough to protect the people he cared about.
And me?
Kaito Hoshino would become the Harem King.
Preferably after learning how to control Ren's body without losing arguments to trees.