My body feels light, yet my limbs struggle to push through this torrent of thick liquid. I look around, hoping to get a glimpse of Aihan or that weird sentient clock — whichever comes first; the latter would be preferred, though.
It's convenient enough that I can breathe here; maybe this isn't a liquid at all. I continue to look around and keep my ears open. Soon, I hear a call of my name — names?
"Belle…"
"Finnian…!"
"FINTAN!"
I snap back after hearing Aihan's voice. "Aihan! Where are you?"
"Fintan! Follow my voice; we are pretty close to each other, from the sound of it!" I hear Aihan shout and do as he says – follow his voice and find my way to him.
We continue to call out each other's names, hope brightening as I hear us getting closer. After a bit more shouting, I eventually see his silhouette and try to wave as much as possible. Given how heavy my limbs feel anyway.
"Aihan! Over here, in front of you — NO, not your right, oh my god. AHEAD, in front of you, goodness," I shout, trying to get his attention, which I eventually succeed in doing.
Aihan looks ahead, and we start to swim towards each other, trying to reach the other as soon as possible. When we get close enough, Aihan pulls my arms towards him, glueing us into an encasing embrace.
I hear him cry in my ear, "Oh my god, Finny, I was freaking out horribly. I thought I would never find you in this never-ending void!" He tightens his arms around me, trembling a bit in fear.
I sigh and calm my heart down, knowing full well that I was just as scared, if not completely hopeless. I bring my hands up and pat his shoulders, smiling in relief. "Same here, I was feeling completely hopeless. This whole thing has me weirded out already, and I don't want us to be split apart in this chaos."
I hear him 'hum' in agreement, and I mention something that had been bothering me: "Before I spotted you, I heard a couple other names being called — Finnian and Belle. Did you hear anything similar?"
He quickly separates from me and meets my eye in bewilderment. "You did too? I heard different names but heard them regardless. "Amias and Gisèle" is what I heard. Do you think these names could be connected somehow?"
I nod in acknowledgement, trying to go over all of the details in my head of the events that have taken place so far. Then I remember the night when we both had those weird dreams.
I look up, meeting his eyes filled with questions that may be left unanswered for a bit. "Do you remember that night when I had that weird dream and you also mentioned having a similar dream? Do you think that these names could be related to that?"
His eyebrows rise a little in surprise, and then he smirks, "Wow, Finny, you should have totally gone into detective work! Suits you much better than a blue-collar office worker." After seeing my deadpan expression, he answers my question, "But, to answer your questions—and given how weird everything has been thus far—it's definitely a possibility. I mean come on, what can be more weird than a talking clock?"
I open my mouth to answer, but before I can utter a word, that voice speaks in our heads again.
"You idiots, I can hear everything, you know? The only ones weird in this whole thing are you two dimwits! I'm just an old man trying to fix the unsolved, while y'all are cheesing at each other. YOU guys are the weird ones here!"
Aihan rolls his eyes and answers with his own thoughts, "Hmm, here's a thought — maybe you shouldn't have interfered with our trip in the first place. Crazy, right?"
I drop a penny into that as well. "Yeah, Mr I'm-a-sentient-clock-with-too-much-free-time, maybe you should have just left us alone and let us enjoy our trip in peace."
The clock merely huffs, "Whatever, no use whining since you guys are already here anyway."
Aihan tilts his head. "Where — ?" Before another word could be uttered, everything was plunged in black.
*
The past is something we find ourselves looking back to. Whether it be in regret, wistfulness…or remembrance of moments which can slip through our fingers like grains of sand.
We may remember a family member who we spent a vast amount of time with, a friend who we had a tight bond with, or even a mere acquaintance who may have left a lasting impression on us.
But rarely do we ever think of a life before the one you currently live through. What if our past self had an unfulfilled wish till the very end? What if they were an important figure? A spectator, even.
Fintan always had an inkling of something, though he couldn't pinpoint what, exactly. Whenever he observed the people around him, whether family or friends, he would interact, laugh, and smile — but that void within never went unnoticed. Then he met Aihan, someone who was the complete opposite of his personality: loud, extroverted, and obnoxious, but so unforgivably him.
Aihan is someone he can call a "friend", and not in a way where he's always there — though he is — but mainly as someone who understands the way sadness can eat up people. Because Fintan sees it too, the way Aihan deflects when certain topics hit too close to home, or when they are talking and Aihan will make sure to ask whether he's okay but refuse to be asked the same. Or even give something blurry as an answer, but not words that will show his shaded, vulnerable side.
This is why the sight right now is jarring...to say the least. Aihan and Fintan met each other well into adulthood as co-workers, and this is anything but the memory of their first meetings...
"Clockety clanker, who are those two children, and why are we observing two innocent children play a 'prince and knight' game?" Fintan can understand the latter question, if only the former questions didn't lack stupidity.
Fintan sighs. "Aihan, please look at those two children carefully, and let me know when you finally realise just who we are looking at. Okay?"
Aihan raises an eyebrow and shrugs, observing the two kids, before his eyes lit up with recognition. Excitedly, he turns towards his friend. "Fintan! That's us; the nerdy-looking prince is you, and I'm the cool and dashing knight!"
Fintan clicks his tongue in annoyance. "We also didn't meet as children, and that clothing..." Both Aihan and Fintan looked at the noble deck up that their children's selves seemed to be in; "...is rather jarring, to say the least. " Fintan had some doubts creeping in due to his suspicions stemming from this whole situation.
Their "lovely" clock companion finally chimed in, "Your suspicions are in the right place. These two children are incarnations of both of you. The one who's playing as the prince is called "Finnian" in this life, and the one who's playing as the knight goes by "Amias". Fintan, Finnian, is an incarnation of you and Aihan; Amias is an incarnation of you. "Before Fintan and Aihan could ask another question, the clock chimes in again, 'This is the regency era, to answer your question about the "jarring" clothing.'" That shut both of them up.
Fintan rubs his forehead, taking in this information, while Aihan's face stays twisted due to contemplation. Both of them were confused and trying to formulate the questions they seem to have, yet they can't find the proper words to describe them. It's not every day you get to witness a past incarnation of you, who happens to also be friends with your co-worker and friend of this ongoing life.
As they both stay under their veil of deep thinking, their clock companion snaps them out of it. "I know this is a lot to take in, but stay with me here, as I need to show the events of this life you're witnessing."
The clock observes as Aihan and Fintan look at each other and nod. Aihan turns back to look at the clock. "Listen, both of us are immensely confused. But I believe we will gain our answers once we get to see more...let's do this."
Satisfied, the sentient time teller nods before his hour hand and minute hand start to turn — and before they can blink, they are in an antique shop.
***
Today, Amias had bought a bouquet of waxflowers for his shop. He placed them in a vase just outside his office, where he conducted appraisals for shipments and clients alike. They were visible from the front door—an unassuming, pleasant sight.
He wasn't sure why he'd bought them. Perhaps he simply wanted something to make the space feel warmer.
Like clockwork, Finnian entered the shop, his gaze immediately drawn to the flowers.
'I knew it,' Amias thought, giddy. 'It was the right choice.'
"Finnian!" he greeted. "How are you?"
"I'm well," Finnian replied, nodding. "New flowers?"
Amias leaned over the counter, smiling coyly. "Someone could've given them to me."
Finnian crossed his arms, smirking as he leaned in. "With your atrocious communicative habits? Who would do such a thing?"
Amias recoiled dramatically, clutching his chest. "My communication skills are impeccable."
Finnian's gaze swept him from head to toe, lingering just long enough to make Amias's skin prickle. "Remember that last lady?" he sighed. "She ran out of here as if she were desperate for an escape."
"Not everyone gets the beauty of speaking with eccentricity." Amias shot back.
Finnian chuckled, shaking his head. "If you say so."
They drifted into easy conversation after that.
"If you prefer tea over coffee, you're insane."
"You just have not dared to try my handmade coffee, Finnian."
"I do not need to try it for me to know how horrid the taste is."
"Not if it's paired with something sweet."
*
As they kept going back and forth, Fintan and Aihan, who were observing, felt like they were intruding. And their clock friend couldn't help but chuckle at how awkward they looked. Aihan tilted his head in confusion and looked at their sentient clanker of a companion. "Why are they arguing as if they are much closer than...friends?" Fintan couldn't help but share the same sentiment, though defensive. "They do look as if they are quite close; perhaps it's due to the fact that they are childhood friends, close childhood friends."
The clock smirked, "Keep observing; you will get your answers soon enough. Till then, I will take my leave for a bit and show up once I know both of you are ready." Before they could reply, their clock companion disappeared with a poof, and they looked up when they heard the sound of a door closing.
*
As the sun gave way to dusk, Amias and Finnian let their conversation dwindle into something calm, fitting for such a time of day. Amias looked at Finnian with a smirk, rounded the counter, walked to his store's entrance, and flipped the "Open" sign to "Closed".
After doing so, he retrieved an oil lamp and lit it, leaving it on the stand by the door. Finnian leaned back against the counter and tilted his head with a gentle smile as Amias walked up to him and stood close, pinning him to the counter.
Amias lifted his hand to caress Finnian's face, only for Finnian to grab it and place his cheek on that warm palm with a tilt of his head, staring at Amias with a look of pure adoration. Amias sighed and shook his head. "Finnian, how long can we keep doing this?" Finnian shook his head, burying his face into the hand that held his cheek with gentleness. "For as long as we are breathing, Amias. I will not let you go. Ever."
Finnian looked up, seeing his own hazel eyes reflected in the ones looking back at him with love and longing — feelings they both shared.
He continued and dropped Amias's hand. "Marriage has not been decided upon just yet. If you do not wish to see me anymore, I will ask them to come to a decision and choose a bride—"
Hazel eyes widened as Finnian was pushed flat to the counter in quick succession. An arm circled his waist while the other hand came up to hold the back of his neck.
Before Finnian could utter a word, warm lips covered his, leaving no room to speak — let alone formulate his next thoughts.
Nonetheless, he let his eyes fall shut and brought his arms up to circle his partner's shoulders. Finnian couldn't think. Amias kept kissing his thoughts clean. He felt his back press further into the counter, and something seemed to fall, a sound landing close to his head.
Amias soon broke their kiss, leaving barely a whisper of space between them. He leaned down, bit Finnian's ear, and whispered, "I will not let you go either. Perish the thought of being with anyone in this life, or any other. In any shape or form we may take, I will always find my way to you."
Finnian sighed, which soon turned into a whimper as Amias unbuttoned his dress shirt and quickly leaned down to press his lips against his sensitive neck. Blooms of red spread across his skin — in this flow of continuous passion, Amias couldn't stop; would not dare to stop.
"Finnian," he muttered, pressing a kiss behind his ear. Finnian sighed back, gratification marking his voice. "Amias… go lower." Amias took that request in stride as Finnian kept his head tilted back, pleasure spreading through his body.
He left a trail of blooming red until he finally reached his lover's nipples, giving each his full attention.
As he sucked on one nipple, he fiddled with the other. Finnian let his voice echo through the small shop. His hands held Amias's head, pulling at his hair while keeping him close to his chest.
After Amias had his temporary fill, he lifted Finnian into his arms. The other wrapped his legs around Amias's waist while his arms encircled him once more.
Amias walked to his office at the back, went in, and quickly shut the door as he pinned his lover to it.
Both Amias and Finnian were still for a moment, letting themselves bask in the heat of the moment. Finally, Finnian leaned down and connected their lips once more.
They moved with gentleness, unhurried, yet with passion thrumming through their veins.
Their tongues intertwined and explored, taking in the other's warmth and letting this physical connection of theirs do the talking for words they could not express without feeling overwhelmed.
Finnian felt his neck warm up under his partner's attention, where they began and where they ended seemed to blend — just as their voices seemed to mimic the other in expressing pleasure and want.
As Amias's hands moved over Finnian, slow and deliberate, he felt his thoughts drift into uncharted depths. Tenderness welled within him, revealing itself in the way his hands caressed warm skin — something deeper than mere desire. Why must they be scorned for a love no different from that of a man and a woman? Was it truly a sin for two souls, so alike in body, to find such comfort in one another? Could not a Romeo love another Romeo? Could not a Juliet give her heart to another Juliet?
He drew himself back to the present, turning his attention to his lover's wants and needs. Amias held Finnian with steady hands and guided him to the sofa, where he gently laid his partner down. Meanwhile, the latter was flushed and breathless, his body taut beneath his clothing, his shirt barely clinging on to his frame. Amias quickly slid it off his eager lover.
Finnian sighed, and held Amias close, as the latter began to scatter gentle kisses and nips throughout his neck and went further South. His skin bloomed beautifully under Amias's ministration, like petals of the most beautiful rose.
As Finnian's pants were also slid off, he couldn't help but feel shy, "Amias, lay bare as well — would you not?" And how could Amias deny him, when he pleads so beautifully?
With that, Amias swiftly stripped himself bare, and laid on top of his lover; the skin to skin contact made them shudder, and nearly lose their remaining sense.
Sighs and whimpers were heard, and Amias worshipped Finnian like the finest divine being to grace their Earth. Finnian moaned, as his cock was finally held and spoiled by rough yet smooth hands. He could not help but hold his lover's head tightly, as the latter was busy showering him in kisses and bites all over.
"Love...hah, please, inside, I need...you inside."
"Finnian, do not fret, as I will fill you up nicely...I will just go and get us some oil, okay?"
With Finnian's nod, Amias stood up and walked a short distance to his desk, proceeded to open the bottom most drawer — and procured a vial of oil he always kept there.
He fastened his pace and reached his lover in just a few strides, leaning down to leave a deep yet chaste kiss, while he let some oil drip on his hand — rubbing his fingers with one another in order to warm it up.
His fingers moved down, gently tracing over his lover's cock — with the latter shuddering deliciously — and finally reaching his rim, where he proceeded to insert his pointer finger, keeping his gaze on his partner's face for any signs of discomfort.
As his finger continued to move for minutes, and stretch the ring of muscle with persistent movement, Finnian sighed in pleasure and his face finally relaxed.
Finnian opened his eyes, and looked at Amias with a flushed look, "I...can take another." When Finnian gave an another nod as an extra form of reassurance, Amias added his middle finger — noting the slight face of discomfort that Finnian seemed to make.
Amias grew a bit concerned, "Love, how are you faring?"
The one in question whimpered, "Don't worry, it's starting to feel better now. Just some...initial discomfort."
He bites his partner's neck in reply, and sucks on it, leaving behind a red splotch in place — Amias lets the satisfaction within him fester and bloom upon the amount of times he has marked and claimed Finnian.
This satisfaction doesn't escape Finnian's sight, "Such a face you're making Amias...I'm truly at your mercy."
And goodness do those words travel down to Amias's groin, exhaling shakily as he continues to piston his fingers into that delicious tightness. And before they know it, Finnian is ready for a third one.
There's some initial resistance that is felt, but for Finnian, the slight pain mixed with pleasure becomes a heady combination; nearly pushing him to the edge of his already approaching climax.
His nipples are tugged, twisted, and squeezed and Finnian could not do anything else but sing his tunes; whimpers that began. and moans that reached pitches even unknown to him.
Amias took it all in, eyes roving over his lover's form hungrily, and every sound pushed out from Finnian made him go ballistic by the second.
When Finnian signals — with a shaky nod and a dazed look — that he feels himself ready, Amias shifts his hips, and leans to the side in order to retrieve the vial of oil.
He lets the oil flow into his hands, and quickly discards the bottle somewhere, bringing his hand down to rub the oil over his shaft. His eyes closed with a small moan, and Finnian took in the sight above him, with need and want showing on his face.
Not letting anymore time pass by, Amias shifted his hips once more, and gently lifted Finnian by his hip, in order to place a cushion under him for his comfort.
Soon after, Finnian felt his hips being held by his lover's hands, and instinctually, he let his legs wrap around the back of his lover.
Finnian felt his rim being kissed by Amias's cock, and he sighed in pleasure, when the bulbous head finally breached his opening — like two puzzle pieces finally meeting, just to fit in perfectly.
As Amias moved forward slowly and with ease, he kept looking at his partner's face, to make sure not even a speck of pain would flicker upon his visage. To make this easier for Finnian, he brought down his hand to Finnian's chest, and slowly massaged his nipples — stimulating him to help him relax.
When Amias finally had his cock inside to the hilt, he stayed still, and closed his eyes in order to not cum right then and there. This warmth wrapped around him, Finnian lying down and making all of those sinful sounds...he is pleasantly surprised he did not climax right as soon as he had breached that tight warmth with his own fingers.
With a moan at finally being filled, Finnian spoke — albeit shakily, "Love...fill me with your essence, mark me as you always had — and let this night remember the harmonies we let out together. Let our bodies remember..."
Amias chuckled, and finally let his hips move in a continuous yet torturous pace, "Finnian, I will never fail to show you my devotion in anyway possible, whether it be by being embraced by your heat..." He thrusts sharply at that, punching a moan out of his partner, "...or by marking you as mine for everyone to witness." Leaning down, he kisses and bites several spots, letting redness bloom wherever his lips touch.
***
Aihan and Fintan's jaws were dropped the moment they saw their past incarnations kiss, but this...
They heard their clock companion snicker, as the scene before them seemed to warp with that clock's appearance.
"So, Fintan and Aihan, what may your opinion be on this whole situation now?"
Fintan and Aihan could not speak, neither could they bear to look at the other's face in this moment.
_________________
My dearest other half,
Please accept my forgiveness, for I beg. I write with a heart burdened beyond measure. It would seem that our hopes were for naught, for all hopes and dreams we nurtured, are not to find their place in this world.
Our bond, which was once hidden in sacred confidence, has been brought to light, and therefore — my fate has been sealed in its wake. A marriage, of not my choosing, has been decreed.
There is not much I may safely commit to this page, but yet I dare to ask of you one final, selfish grace.
If time and fate prove kinder in realms reaching past this life, I implore you — wait for me. Let us meet again, where no shadow of judgement may divide us, where no cruelty will dare to part what was meant to be whole. There, may we finally claim simple joys we once spoke of in heavy whispers: humble farm, vast fields, and a life lived side by side in peace, love, and devotion.
Above all...let it be a world where we can be two Romeos and two Juliets, without the scorn and judgement we were under with even the barest hint of a touch. A lovely thought, is it not?
My beloved, may the stars look upon us with mercy, and may destiny, in some distant dawn, reunite what this world has torn.
Ever and always yours,
Finnian
___________________